**HE SAID:**  \n\n&gt;  **"I LOVE YOU," I SLURRED AS I PHONED MY WIFE FROM THE PUB.  \n"I LOVE YOU TOO," CAME THE REPLY.  \n"WHEN I GET BACK, I'M GOING TO BURY MY HEAD IN YOUR PUSSY," I CONTINUED.  \n"THREE THINGS, DAVE," SHE REPLIED. "1 - YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG NUMBER, 2 - THIS IS YOUR MOTHER AND 3 - THE LAST TIME YOUR FACE WAS IN MY PUSSY WAS 40 YEARS AGO AND I SHIT ON YOUR HEAD. GOODNIGHT."**\n