Ronald C. Flores-Gunkle
1 min readSep 11, 2018

Well told incident, honest, shows your originally selfish and crude behavior and how it changes as a result of the conversation with the child. Sort of hard to believe that the girl would give so much information about her family history, but I suppose that happens. You tend to open most of your stories with dialogue. Sometimes that is fine but often it is better to use the opening to set the scene or inject some other subtle exposition. Here I was lost in the entire story as to the setting. OK it was a MacDonald’s, but that could be anywhere. The 20 pesos suggest that it takes place outside the USA. But where? The name of the flower — if the reader recognizes it (I now assume it is native to the Philipines) — could indicate the setting, but it didn’t help me. I found the setting in the tags! You could save the reader the trouble by starting with a sentence of two that establishes the place.

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Ronald C. Flores-Gunkle
Ronald C. Flores-Gunkle

Written by Ronald C. Flores-Gunkle

A lapsed humanist doubting there is hope for humankind. Yet, as the poet wrote, “Hope is the thing with feathers.” (It’s difficult but necessary.)

Responses (1)

What are your thoughts?

Hello Ronald. Yes, you’re right. Setting is one of my (many) weaknesses and I’m still working at improving it. I promise to publish better ones in the future. Thanks for taking the time to give me some constructive criticism. Cheers!