will protect us, and permit us to seek our home, you will receive the
overflowing gratitude of two thankful hearts, and the blessings of many
now wretched people who by our return will be made supremely happy?
Whoever you are, upon whatever errand you may be sent, you cannot have
lost the feelings of a man. God will repay your kindness a thousand
times; and although we are not of your faith and nation, still we have
prayers to put up at the Throne of Grace, which must be received when
they are employed in so good a cause.

CHAPTER XXXVIII

Sequel of the foregoing history, and of the resolution which Hajji Baba
takes in consequence.

The Armenian youth here finished his narrative, and left me in
astonishment and admiration at all he had related. With my permission
he then quitted me to visit his wife, and promised to return immediately
with the report of her present state, and how she felt after her repose.

He surely cannot have been inventing lies to my face all this time,
said I when left to myself, for a bleeding woman is here in evidence
to corroborate what he has advanced; but then should I permit him to
proceed, and the serdar was to hear that I had done so, what would
become of me? I should certainly lose my place, and perhaps my ears.
No; compassion does not suit me; for if it did, I ought not to remain a
nasakchi. I will stick to what the sage Locman, I believe, once said
on this occasion, which runs something to this purpose: If you are a
tiger, be one altogether; for then the other beasts will know what to
trust to: but if you wear a tigers skin, and long ears are discovered
to be concealed therein, they will then treat you even worse than if you
walked about in your own true character, an undisguised ass.

I kept turning over in my mind whether I should release him or not; and
was fluctuating in great perplexity between the ass and the tiger, when
Yûsûf returned. He told me that his Mariam was considerably refreshed by
repose; but, weak from loss of blood, and stiff by the violence of the
contusions which she had received (in particular, one upon her leg,
which was of consequence), it would be impossible for her to move for
several days; except indeed we were pursued by the serdar, added he,
when I believe nothing but force could hinder us from proceeding. He
said that not until now had she found strength enough to relate her own
adventures from the time she had left him at Gavmishlû.

It appears that the instant she had darted from the nuptial chamber,
only covered by her veil, she had been seized by a Persian, who,
discovering by the glare of the lightning that she was young and
handsome, ran off with her to some distance, and there detained her
until, with the assistance of another, she was mounted on a horse and
taken forcibly away; that these two men carried her straight to the camp
at Aberan, and offered her for sale to the serdar; who, having agreed
to take her, ordered her to be conducted to his seraglio at Erivan, and
there put into service; that the horrid plight in which she stood, when
exhibited to the serdar, her disfigured looks, and her weak and drooping
state, made her hope that she would remain unnoticed and neglected;
particularly when she heard what was his character, and to what extent
he carried his cruelties on the unfortunate victims of his selfishness.
Mariam, alluding to herself, then said, Hoping, by always talking of
myself as a married woman, that I should meet with more respect in
the house of a Mussulman, than if I were otherwise, I never lost an
opportunity of putting my husbands name forward, and this succeeded,
for little or no notice was taken of me, and I was confounded with the
other slaves, and performed the different tasks of servitude which
were set me. But, unfortunately, I did not long keep my own counsel;
I confided my story to a Persian woman, who pretended to be my friend;
hoping by that means to soften her heart so much as to induce her to
help me in regaining my freedom; but she proved treacherous; she made a
merit of relating it to the serdar, who immediately forced me to confirm
her words with my own lips, and then the extent of my imprudence became
manifest. He announced his intention to avail himself of my situation,
and ordered me to prepare for receiving him. Conceive then what were the
horrors of my position. I turned over in my mind every means of escape,
but all avenues to it were shut. I had never before thought of looking
over the precipice upon which the windows of our prison opened; but now
I seriously thought of precipitating myself, rather than submit to the
tyrant. But a few hours after I had had the blessing to discover you on
the bridge, I had been ordered to hold myself in readiness to receive
him; and it was then that I had positively determined in my own mind to
throw myself headlong out, either once more to bejoined to you, or to
die in the attempt. When I shut the lattices in haste, several women
had just come into the room to conduct me to the hot bath previously to
being dressed; and when I had made some excuse for delaying it, and
had sent them out of the room, it was then that I opened the lattice a
second time, and put my resolution into practice.

Yûsûf having finished the recital of his and his wifes adventures, was
very anxious to know what part I would take, and earnestly entreated me
to befriend him by my advice and assistance. The morning was far spent.
My men were already mounted, and ready to proceed on our reconnoitring
expedition, and my horse was waiting for me, when a thought struck me,
which would settle every difficulty with regard to the young Armenian
and his wife.

I called him to me, and said, After what you have related, it will be
impossible to leave you at liberty. You have, by your own account, run
off with a woman from the serdars seraglio, a crime which you perhaps
do not know, in a Mussulman country, is punished with death, so sacred
is the harem held in our estimation. If I were to act right, I ought not
to lose a moment in sending you both back to Erivan; but that I will
not do, provided you agree to join us in our present expedition, and to
serve us as guide in those parts of the country with which you are best
acquainted. I then explained to him the nature of my office, and what
was the object of the expedition.

If you are zealous in our cause, said I, you will then have performed
a service which will entitle you to reward, and thus enable me to speak
in your favour to the serdar and to my chief, and, _Inshallah!_ please
God, to procure your release. In the meanwhile, your wife may remain
here, in all safety, in the hands of the good folks of this village; and
by the time we return, she will, I hope, have been restored to health.

The youth, upon hearing this language, took my hand and kissed it,
agreed to everything I had said, and having girt on his arms, he was
ready to attend us. I permitted him to go to his wife, to give her an
account of this arrangement, and to console her, with proper assurances,
that they would soon be restored to each other. He again thanked me;
and, with the agility of an antelope, had already gained the summit of
the first hill before we had even begun to ascend it.

CHAPTER XXXIX

The Armenian Yûsûf proves himself worthy of Hajji Babas confidence.

We proceeded towards the Georgian frontier, shaping our track over
unfrequented parts of the mountains, in which we were very materially
assisted by Yûsûf, who appeared to be acquainted with every landmark,
and who knew the directions of places with a precision that quite
surprised us. He did not seem anxious to visit his own village; and, in
fact, he assured me, that had he even permission so to do, he could not,
because he felt himself bound by the oath which he had taken upon last
quitting it, not to return, except accompanied by his wife.

The intelligence which had been brought to the serdar of the advance of
the Moscovites proved false, for we found them posted on the banks of
the Pembaki river, occupying the village of Hamamlû, and fortifying
themselves in Karaklisseh. We were not far from the former place; and as
we approached it, I became anxious to acquire some precise intelligence
concerning the numbers and the dispositions of the enemy. A thought
struck me, as I pondered over the fate of my Armenian protégé--I will
either save this youth or lose him, thought I, and never was there
a better opportunity than the present. He shall go to Hamamlû: if
he brings me the intelligence we want, nothing can prevent me from
procuring both his pardon and his wife for him--if he proves a traitor,
I get rid of him, and demand a reward from the serdar, for restoring his
fugitive slave.

I called him to me, and proposed the undertaking. Quicker than thought,
he seized all the different bearings of the question, and without
hesitation accepted of my proposal. He girt himself afresh, he tucked
the skirts of his coats into his girdle, putting his cap on one side,
and slinging his long gun at his back, he darted down the mountains
side, and we very soon lost him amid the sloping woods.

_Ruft ke ruft._ He is gone and doubly gone, said the young delikhan;
we shall never see him again.

And why should he not return? said I. Have we not got a hostage?
Armenian though he is, he will not leave his wife.

Yes, said the youth, he is an Armenian; but he is also an Isauvi (a
Christian). The Russians too are Isauvis; and we all know, that when
these infidels get together, they will rather die than return to the
sons of Islam. No; were he the chaste Joseph himself, and his wife
Zuleikha in person, I will bet this horse, pointing to the beast under
him, that we see him no more.

Do not coin false words, my little gentleman! said a sturdy old
cavalier, whose sunburnt face was harrowed by a thousand wrinkles, and
shaded by a shaggy beard, mustachios, and eyebrows:--why, without any
use, do you eat dirt? The horse is the Shahs, not yours: and do you
pretend to make the _bahs_ (bets) upon it?

The Shahs property is mine, and mine is my own, retorted the youth.

I and my party kept up this sort of desultory talk for a little while
before we thought of settling ourselves, when, seeing a spot where
there was much grass, we made for it, and dismounted from our horses.
We dispersed ourselves here and there, each making a temporary
establishment of horse-cloths and cloaks spread upon the ground, whilst
our steeds, picketed among the grass, fed at pleasure. I announced my
intention of passing the night here in case Yûsûf did not appear before
its close; and preparatory to this, two of our best marauders set off
in quest of a sheep, fowls, or anything they could get for our evenings
meal. After an hours absence, they returned with a sheep which they had
seized from a flock grazing in the neighbourhood of the river. It was
soon killed, and preparations were made for roasting it. Two stakes with
hooks at the top were cut from the forest and stuck into the ground;
then a long stick was passed through the animal in lieu of a spit, and
placed on the hooks. A fire having been lighted, one of our men was
stationed near it to turn the animal at intervals; and it was not long
before it was ready for eating. By way of variety, some of the prime
bits, with the fat of the tail, were cut off, spitted upon a ramrod, and
thus roasted. The sheep was served up on its stake, and our party fell
upon it with an intense appetite, whilst, by way of distinction, the
ramrod was handed over to me for my share.

By this time the day had entirely closed in, and Yûsûf had not appeared.
We then composed ourselves to sleep, leaving one or two to keep watch
and to attend upon the horses. About an hour after midnight, when
the moon was about going down, a distant shout was heard--presently a
second, more distinctly and nearer to us. We were immediately upon the
alert, and the shouts being repeated, we could no longer doubt but that
the Armenian was at hand. We then shouted in return, and not very long
after we saw him appear. He was almost exhausted with fatigue, but still
strong enough to be able to relate his adventures since he had left us.

He informed me that having reached Hamamlû, he was recognized by some of
the Russian soldiers who had escaped the attack of the Persians upon his
village, and who immediately introduced him into the fort, and treated
him very kindly. He was taken before the commanding officer, who
questioned him narrowly upon the object of his visit; but the ready
pretext which he advanced, of seeking his wife, answered every
difficulty; besides which, the ruin of his village, the destruction of
his family property, and the acquaintances which he had on the spot,
furnished him with so much matter of conversation, that no suspicion of
his designs could be entertained. He was then permitted to walk about
the fort, and by asking his questions with prudence, and making his own
observations, as enabled to furnish me with the information I required
on the strength and position of the enemy, with some very good
conjectures on the nature and probability of their future operations. He
then managed to slip away unperceived before the gates of the place were
closed, and regained the mountains without the smallest impediment.

Having permitted Yûsûf to refresh himself with food and rest, and being
now perfectly satisfied that his story was true, and that all confidence
might be placed in his integrity, I ordered my party to hold themselves
in readiness to return to Erivan. He was permitted to ride behind either
of the horsemen when tired with walking, and in this manner, taking the
shortest cuts over the mountains, we regained the village of Ashtarek.
Whilst we stopped here to refresh ourselves and horses, and to gain
intelligence of the movements of the serdar and the chief executioner, I
permitted the youth to visit his wife. He returned beaming with joy, for
he had found her almost cured of her bruises, and full of thanks for the
kindness and hospitality with which she had been treated.

The serdar and the chief executioner had moved from Erivan, and were now
encamped close to the residence of the Armenian patriarch; and thither
we bent our steps, accompanied by Yûsûf.

CHAPTER XL

Hajji Baba gives an account of his proceedings to his superiors, and
shows himself a friend to the distressed.

The monastery of Etchmiazin, so called in the Armenian tongue, or Utch
Klisseh, or the Three Churches, by the Turks and Persians, is situated
in a large and well-cultivated plain, watered by the Araxes, and several
smaller streams. It stands at the foot of the high mountain of Agri
Dagh, which the Christians, and in particular the Armenians, hold in
great veneration, because (so Yûsûf informed me) upon its conspicuous
snow-capt summit the ark of Noah rested. The monastery and church,
celebrated throughout Asia for the riches which they contain, are
enclosed within high walls, and secured by strong and massive gates.
It is here that the head of the Armenian church constantly resides,
together with a large retinue of bishops, priests, and deacons, who form
the stock which provides clergy for most of the Armenian churches in
Asia. The title by which he is known in Persia is _khalifeh_ or caliph,
a designation which, comprising the head of the civil as well as the
religious government, the Mussulmans used formerly to bestow on
the sovereigns who held their sway at Bagdad and elsewhere. By the
Christians he is generally known by the name of patriarch, and his
church is an object of pilgrimage for the Armenians, who flock there at
particular seasons in great numbers from different parts of the world.

Hither we bent our steps. We discovered the united camps of the serdar
and the chief executioner, spreading their white tents in an irregular
figure all round the monastery; and before we had reached its walls, we
heard that the two chiefs had taken up their abode within it, and were
the guests of the caliph.

Well burn the fathers of these _giaours_ (infidels), said the young
delikhan, as he rode up to me in great joy at this intelligence; and
will make up for the fatigues we have undergone, by drinking abundantly
of their wine.

Are you a Mussulman, said I, and talk of drinking wine? You yourself
will become a giaour.

Oh, as for that, answered he, the serdar drinks wine like any
Christian, and I do not see why I should not.

As we approached the monastery, I called Yûsûf to me, and told him to
be in readiness whenever he should be called for, and be prepared
to confirm any oath that I might think it necessary to take for his
interests. He was particularly enjoined, when he came to talk of the
services he had rendered, to deviate from the truth as much as he chose,
to set forth every sort of danger he had or had not incurred, and in
particular to score up an account of sums expended, all for the use and
advantage of the serdar and of the Shahs government. I hope at that
rate, said I to him, your accounts may be balanced by having your wife
restored to you; for which, after considerable difficulty, you may agree
to give a receipt in full of all demands.

Thus agreed, we passed through the heavy archway which leads into the
first court of the monastery. This we found encumbered by the equipages
and servants of the serdar and the chief executioner. Here and there
were strings of horses picketed by ropes and pegs, with their grooms
established in different corners among their saddles and horse
furniture; and a corner was taken up by a set of mules, distinguished by
the eternal jingle of their bells, and the no less eternal wranglings of
their drivers.

In the second yard were the horses of the chief servants, who themselves
inhabited small rooms that surrounded two sides of the court.

We alighted at the first court, and I immediately inquired for the
quarters of my master, the chief executioner. It was noon, and I was
informed he was then with the serdar, before whom, in all the boots,
dust, and dirt of my travelling dress, I was immediately conducted.

They seemed to have entirely taken possession of the Armenian sanctuary,
and to have dispossessed the caliph of his place and authority; for they
had taken up their abode in his very rooms, whilst the poor priests were
skulking about with humble and downcast looks, as if fearful and ashamed
of being the lawful inhabitants of their own possessions. The favourite
horses of both the Persian chiefs were picketed close to the very walls
of the church, more care being taken of their comforts than of the
convenience of the Armenians.

My reader is already acquainted with the person and character of the
chief executioner; and, before I proceed further, I must also make him
acquainted with the serdar. A man of a more sinister aspect was never
seen. His eyes, which, in the common expression of his countenance, were
like opaque bits of glass, glared terribly whenever he became animated,
and almost started out of their old shrivelled sockets; and when this
happened, it was always remarked that a corresponding smile broke out
upon his mouth, which made the Shahs poet say, that Hassan Khans face
was like _Agri dagh_, the mountain near which he lived. When clouded at
the top, and the sun shone in the plain, a storm was sure to ensue.
Time had worn two deep wrinkles down his cheeks, which were not hid by
a scanty beard, notwithstanding all the pains he took to make it thick;
and the same enemy having despoiled him of all his teeth save one, which
projected from his mouth, had produced deep cavities, that made the
shaggy hairs, thinly spread over them, look like burnt stubble on the
slopes of a valley. Altogether, it was difficult to say whether the goat
or the tiger was most predominant; but this is most certain, that never
was the human form so nearly allied to that of the brute as in this
instance. His character corresponded to his looks; for no law, human or
divine, ever stood in the way of his sensuality; and when his passions
were roused, he put no bounds to his violence and cruelty. But with all
this, he had several qualities, which attached his followers to him. He
was liberal and enterprising. He had much quickness and penetration, and
acted so politically towards the Shah and his government, that he was
always treated with the greatest confidence and consideration. He lived
in princely magnificence; was remarkable for his hospitality, and making
no mystery of his irregularity as a Mussulman, was frank and open in
his demeanour, affable to his inferiors, and the very best companion to
those who shared in his debaucheries. No bolder drinker of wine existed
in Persia, except perhaps his present companion, the executioner, who,
as long as he could indulge without incurring the Shahs displeasure,
had ratified an eternal treaty of alliance between his mouth and every
skin of wine that came within his reach.

It was before these two worshipful personages that I was introduced,
followed by two or three of my principal attendants. I stood at the end
of the compartment until I was spoken to.

You are welcome, said the chief executioner. Hajji, by my soul, tell
me, how many Russians have you killed? have you brought a head--let me
see?

Here the serdar took him up, and said, What have you done? What
Russians are on the frontier? and when shall we get at them?

To all of which I answered, after making the usual prefatory speech,
Yes, Agas, I have done all that was in my power to do. It was a
lucky hour when we set off, for everything that you wish to know I can
explain; and it is evident that the destinies of the serdar and of my
master are much on the rise, since so insignificant a slave as I can be
of use to them.

Good luck is no bad thing, thats true, said the serdar, but we trust
a great deal to our swords, too,--rolling his eyes about at the same
time, and smiling in the face of the chief executioner.

Yes, yes, said his companion, swords and gunpowder, spears and
pistols--those are our astrologers. It will always be a fortunate hour
that will bring me within slice of an infidels neck. As for me, I am a
_kizzel bash_ (a red head), and pretend to nothing else. A good horse,
a sharp sword, a spear in my hand, and a large _maidan_ (an open space)
before me, with plenty of Muscovites in it: that is all I want.

And what do you say to good wine too? said the serdar. I think that
is as good a thing as any you have mentioned. Well have the caliph
in, and make him give Hajji a cup of his best. But tell us first,
addressing himself to me, what have you seen and done? where are the
Russians posted? how many of them are there? have they any guns? who
commands them? where are their Cossacks? have you heard anything of the
Georgians? where is the Russian commander-in-chief? what are the Lesgî
about? where is the renegade Ismael Khan?--Come, tell us all: and you,
Mirza, addressing himself to his scribe, write down all he says.

Upon this I drew myself up, and, putting on a face of wisdom, I made the
following speech:--

By the soul of the serdar! by the salt of the chief executioner! the
Muscovites are nothing. In comparison to the Persians, they are mere
dogs. I, who have seen with my own eyes, can tell you, that one Persian,
with a spear in his hand, would kill ten of those miserable, beardless
creatures.

Ah, you male lion! exclaimed my master, apparently delighted with what
I said, I always knew that you would be something. Leave an Ispahani
alone: he will always show his good sense.

They are but few Muscovites on the frontier. Five, six, seven, or eight
hundred,--perhaps a thousand or two thousand--but certainly not more
than three. They have some ten, twenty, or thirty guns; and as for the
Cossacks, _pûtch and_, they are nothing. It is very inconvenient that
they are to be found everywhere when least wanted, with those thick
spears of theirs, which look more like the goad of an ox than a warlike
weapon, and they kill, tis true; but then, they are mounted upon
_yabous_ (jades), which can never come up to our horses, worth thirty,
forty, fifty tomauns each, and which are out of sight before they can
even get theirs into a gallop.

Why do you waste your breath upon the Cossacks and their horses? said
the chief executioner; you might as well talk of monkeys mounted upon
bears. Who commands the infidels?

They call him the _deli mayor_, or the mad major; and the reason why he
is called so, is because he never will run away. Stories without number
are related of him. Among others, that he has got the pocket Koran of
his excellency the serdar in his possession, which he shows to every one
as a great trophy.

Aye, thats true, exclaimed the serdar. These bankrupt dogs surprised
me last year, when encamped not five parasangs hence, and I had only
time to save myself, in my shirt and trousers, on the back of an
unsaddled horse. Of course, they pillaged my tent, and among other
things stole my Koran. But Ill be even with them. I have shown them
what I can do at Gavmishlû, and we still have much more to perform upon
their fathers graves. How many guns, did you say, they had?

Four or five, or six, said I.

I wrote down twenty or thirty just now, remarked the Mirza, who was
writing at the edge of the carpet,--which of the two is right?

Why do you tell us lies? exclaimed the serdar, his eyes becoming
more animated as he spoke. If we find that any part of what you say be
false, by the head of Ali! you will soon discover that our beards are
not to be laughed at with impunity.

In truth, then, said I, this intelligence is not of my own acquiring.
The greatness of the serdars, and my Agas good fortune, consists in
my having fallen upon a means of getting the most perfect information
through a young Armenian, who risked his life for us, upon my making him
promise of recompense in the name of the serdar.

A recompense in my name! exclaimed the serdar: who is this
Armenian?--and what Armenian was ever worthy of a recompense?

Upon this I related the whole of Yûsûfs history, from the beginning to
the end. In pleading his cause in this public manner, I hoped that the
serdar would feel it impossible to resist the justice of the demand
which I made upon him, and that my young protégé would at once be
released from his fears and apprehensions of the chiefs resentment, and
restored to the undisputed possession of his wife.

When I had done speaking, nothing was said, but here and there _Allah!
Allah! il Allah!_ (there is but one God!) in suppressed exclamations
from the lips of the Mohammedans present; whilst the serdar, having
rolled his eyes about, and twitched his mouth into various odd shapes,
at length mumbled out, the Armenian has performed wonders; and then
called aloud to his servants to bring his _kaliân_ or pipe.

Having smoked two or three long whiffs, he said, Where is this
Armenian? Order the caliph also to come before us.

Upon which Yûsûf was ushered in, with the shoves and thrusts by which a
poor man of his nation is generally introduced before a Persian grandee;
and he stood in face of the assembly as fine a specimen of manly beauty
as was ever seen, evidently creating much sensation upon all present by
the intrepidity of his appearance. The serdar, in particular, fixed
his eyes upon him with looks of approbation; and turning round to the
executioner in chief, made signs, well known among Persians, of his
great admiration.

The caliph, a heavy, coarse man, of a rosy and jovial appearance,
dressed in the black hood peculiar to the Armenian clergy, appeared soon
after, followed by two or three of his priests. Having stood for a short
time before the serdar and his companion, he was invited to sit, which
he did, going through all the ceremonial of complimentary phrases, and
covering the feet and hands in a manner usual on such occasions.

The serdar then, addressing himself to the caliph, said, It is plain
that we Mussulmans are become less than dogs in the land of Irân. The
Armenians now break into our harems, steal our wives and slaves from
before our faces, and invite men to defile our fathers graves. What
news is this, O caliph? Is this Allahs work or yours?

The caliph, attacked in this unexpected manner, looked very much
alarmed, and the dew broke out upon his ample and porous forehead.
Experience had taught him that these sorts of attacks were generally the
forerunners of some heavy fine, and he already put himself in a posture
of defence to resist it.

What language is this? said he in answer. We, whose dogs are we, who
should dare even to think upon the evil of which your highness speaks?
We are the Shahs subjects:--You are our protector, and the Armenians
sit in peace under your shade. What manner of man is this who has
brought these ashes upon our heads?

That is he, answered the serdar, pointing to Yûsûf. Say, fellow, have
you stolen my slave or not?

If I am guilty, said the youth, of having taken aught from any man,
save my own, here am I, ready to answer for myself with my life. She who
threw herself out of your windows into my arms was my wife before she
was your slave. We are both the Shahs rayats, and it is best known to
yourself if you can enslave them or no. We are Armenians, tis true, but
we have the feelings of men. It is well known to all Persia, that our
illustrious Shah has never forced the harem of even the meanest of his
subjects; and, secure in that feeling, how could I ever suppose, most
noble serdar, that we should not receive the same protection under
your government? You were certainly deceived when told that she was
a Georgian prisoner; and had you known that she was the wife of your
peasantry, you never would have made her your property.

The caliph, frightened at the language of the youth, stopped him,
by loud and angry exclamations; but the serdar, apparently struck by
language so unusual to his ears, instead of appearing angry, on the
contrary, looked delighted (if the looks of such a countenance could
ever express delight); and, staring with astonished eyes upon the youth,
seemed to forget even the reason of his having been brought before him.
Of a sudden, as if dispelling his former indignation, he stopped all
further discussion by saying to him, Enough, enough; go, take your
wife, and say no more; and, since you have rendered us a service at
Hamamlû, you shall remain my servant, and wait upon my person. Go, my
head valet will instruct you in your duties; and when attired in clothes
suited to your situation, you will return again to our presence. Go,
and recollect that my condescension towards you depends upon your future
conduct. Upon this Yûsûf, in the fullness of his heart, ran up to him
with great apparent gratitude, fell upon his knees, and kissed the hem
of his garment, not knowing what to say, or what countenance to keep
upon such unlooked-for good fortune.

Every one present seemed astonished: the chief executioner gave a shrug,
and indulged in a deep yawn; the caliph, as if he had been disencumbered
of a heavy weight, stretched his limbs, and the huge drops that were
before glittering on his brow now disappeared, and his face again
expanded into good humour. All congratulated the serdar upon his
humanity and benevolence, and compared him to the celebrated Noushirwan.
_Barikallah_ and _Mashallah_ was repeated and echoed from mouth to
mouth, and the story of his magnanimity was spread abroad, and formed
the talk of the whole camp. I will not pretend to explain what were the
serdars real sentiments; but those who well knew the man were agreed
that he could be actuated by no generous motive.

[Illustration: The two Russians drive back the Persians. 20.jpg]

CHAPTER XLI

He describes an expedition against the Russians, and does ample justice
to the cowardice of his chief.

My chief and the serdar having acquired all the information which Yûsûf
and I could give them upon the force and position of the Muscovites, it
was determined that an attack should immediately be made, and the army
was ordered to march upon Hamamlû.

Everything was soon in motion; the artillery began its tedious and
difficult march through the mountains; the infantry made their way in
the best manner they could, and the cavalry were seen in unconnected
groups all over the plain. I must not omit to say, that before the
march began I received a visit from the Armenian. He was no longer, in
appearance, the rude mountaineer with his rough sheepskin cap, his short
Georgian tunic, his sandalled feet, his long knife hung over his knee,
and his gun slung obliquely across his body; but he was now attired in a
long vest of crimson velvet, trimmed with gold lace and gold buttons;
a beautiful Cashmerian shawl was tied gracefully round his waist; his
small cap, of Bokhara lamb-skin, was duly indented at the top, and the
two long curls behind his ears were combed out with all proper care. He
had now more the appearance of a woman than a man, so much were his
fine limbs hid by his robes; and as he approached me, he could not help
blushing and looking awkward at the metamorphosis. He thanked me with
expressions that indicated much gratitude, and assured me, that so far
from having expected this result to his interview with the serdar, he
had, in fact, made up his mind to the loss of both his wife and life,
and therefore had spoken with the boldness of one determined to die.
But, said he, notwithstanding this great change in my fortunes, this
new existence of mine will never do. I cannot endure the degradation of
being a mere idle appendage to the state of the serdar; and be not angry
if, ere long, I decline the honour of his service. I will submit to
everything as long as my wife is not in a place of safety; but when once
I have secured that, then adieu. Better live a swineherd in the Georgian
mountains, naked and houseless, than in all these silks and velvets, a
despised hanger on, be it even in the most luxurious court of Persia.

I could not help applauding such sentiments, although I should have been
happy had he made any one else his confidant, conscious that if he did
run away I should in some measure be made answerable for him.

In the meanwhile the army proceeded on its march. As we passed Ashtarek,
Yûsûf got permission to take possession of Mariam, who, now transformed
into the wife of one who had the reputation of being in the good graces
of the serdar, travelled with great respectability and consideration
on horseback, and formed one among the numerous camp-followers that
are always attached to a Persian army. The camp was pitched between
Gavmishlû and Aberan, where all that was not necessary for the
expedition was ordered to remain until its return. It was settled that
the serdar and the chief executioner, each accompanied by their own men,
with two pieces of artillery, should form the expedition, and towards
the close of the evening it set off.

As we approached the scene of action, the serdar became impatient of
delay, and, like every Persian who despises the utility of infantry,
expressed his wish to push on with the cavalry. I will not say as much
for the impatience of my chief. He continued his boastings to the last,
tis true, and endeavoured to make every one believe that he had only
to appear, and the enemy would instantly be seized with a panic; but at
length he ceded to the serdars wishes of bringing on the rear-guard,
whilst the latter pushed on to Hamamlû with the main body of the
cavalry. I, of course, remained behind, to act under the orders of my
chief. The serdar intended to reach Hamamlû before break of day in order
to surprise the gates, and deviated from the road to ford the Pembaki
river. We continued our march straight for that place, and were to
appear as the day dawned, to give a retreat to the serdar, in case he
should be beaten back.

The morning had just broke when we reached the banks of the river.
The chief executioner was surrounded by a body of about five hundred
cavalry, and the infantry was coming up as well as it could. We were
about fording the river, when of a sudden we were accosted by a voice
on the other side, which shouting out two or three strange words in a
language unknown to us, explained their meaning by a musket shot. This
stopped our career, and called the attention of our chief, who came up,
looking paler than death.

Whats the news? exclaimed he, in a voice far below its usual
pitch:--what are we doing?--where are we going?--Hajji Baba, accosting
me, was it you that fired?

No, said I, catching rather more of his apprehension than was
convenient; no, I did not fire. Perhaps there are ghôls here among the
Muscovites, as well as at Ashtarek among the Armenians.

In another minute more barbarous cries were heard, and another shot was
fired, and by this time day had sufficiently advanced to show two men,
on the other bank, whom we discovered to be Russian soldiers. As soon as
our chief saw the extent of the danger, and the foe opposed to us, his
countenance cleared up, and he instantly put on the face of the greatest
resolution and vigour. Go, seize, strike, kill! he exclaimed, almost
in one breath, to those around him:--Go, bring me the heads of yonder
two fellows.

Immediately several men dashed into the river, with drawn swords,
whilst the two soldiers withdrew to a small rising ground, and, placing
themselves in a convenient position, began a regular, though alternate,
discharge of their muskets upon their assailants, with a steadiness that
surprised us. They killed two men, which caused the remainder to retreat
back to our commander, and no one else seemed at all anxious to follow
their example. In vain he swore, entreated, pushed, and offered money
for their heads: not one of his men would advance. At length, he said,
with a most magnanimous shout, I myself will go; here, make way! will
no body follow me? Then, stopping, and addressing himself to me, he
said, Hajji! my soul, my friend, wont you go and cut those mens heads
off? Ill give you everything you can ask. Then, putting his hand round
my neck, he said, Go, go; I am sure you can cut their heads off.

We were parleying in this manner, when a shot from one of the Russians
hit the chief executioners stirrup, which awoke his fears to such a
degree, that he immediately fell to uttering the most violent oaths.
Calling away his troops, and retreating himself at a quick pace, he
exclaimed, Curses be on their beards! Curse their fathers, mothers,
their ancestry, and posterity! Whoever fought after this fashion?
Killing, killing, as if we were so many hogs. See, see, what animals
they are! They will not run away, do all you can to them. They are worse
than brutes:--brutes have feeling,--they have none. O Allah, Allah, if
there was no dying in the case, how the Persians would fight!

By this time we had proceeded some distance, and then halted. Our chief,
expecting to find the Russians back to back under every bush, did not
know what course to pursue, when the decision was soon made for us by
the appearance of the serdar, who, followed by his cavalry, was seen
retreating in all haste from before the enemy. It was evident that his
enterprise had entirely failed, and nothing was left for the whole army
but to return whence it came.

I will not attempt to draw a picture of the miserable aspect of the
serdars troops; they all looked harassed and worn down by fatigue, and
seemed so little disposed to rally, that one and all, as if by tacit
consent, proceeded straight on their course homewards without once
looking back. But as much as they were depressed in spirits, in the same
degree were raised those of our commander. He so talked of his prowess,
of the wound he had received, and of his intended feats, that at length,
seizing a spear, he put his horse at the full gallop, and overtaking
his own cook, who was making the best of his way to his pots and pans,
darted it at him, in the exuberance of his valour, and actually pierced
him in the back through his shawl girdle.

Thus ended an expedition which the serdar expected would have given him
a great harvest of glory and of Muscovites heads; and which, the chief
executioner flattered himself, would afford him exultation and boasting
for the remainder of his life. But, notwithstanding its total
failure, till, he had ingenuity enough to discover matter for
self-congratulation.

Surrounded by a circle of his adherents, amongst whom I was one, he was
in the midst of a peal of boasting, when a message came from the serdar,
requesting that Hajji Baba might be sent to him. I returned with the
messenger, and the first words which the serdar said, upon my appearing
before him, were, Where is Yûsûf? Where is his wife?

It immediately occurred to me that they had escaped; and putting on one
of my most innocent looks, I denied having the least knowledge of their
movements.

The serdar then began to roll his eyeballs about, and to twist up his
mouth into various shapes. Passion burst from him in the grossest and
most violent expressions; he vowed vengeance upon him, his race, his
village, and upon everything and everybody in the least connected with
him; and whilst he expressed a total disbelief of am my protestations of
ignorance, he gave me to understand, that if I was found to have been
in the smallest degree an accessory to his escape, he would use all his
influence to sweep my vile person from the face of the earth.

I afterwards heard that he had sent a party of men to Gavmishlû, to
seize and bring before him Yûsûfs parents and kindred, with everything
that belonged to them; to take possession of their property, and to burn
and destroy whatever they could not bring away: but the sagacious and
active youth had foreseen this, and had taken his measures with such
prudence and promptitude, that he had completely baffled the tyrant.
He, his wife, his wifes relations, his own parents and family, with
all their effects (leaving only their tilled ground behind them), had
concerted one common plan of migration into the Russian territory. It
had fully succeeded, as I afterwards heard, for they were received with
great kindness, both by the government and by their own sect; lands were
allotted, and every help afforded them for the re-establishment of their
losses.

CHAPTER XLII

He proceeds to the kings camp, and gives a specimen of lying on a grand
scale.

I returned to my chief full of apprehension at the threat which I had
received; and knowing how very tenacious all our great men are of power
over their own servants, I did not fail immediately to inform him of the
language which the serdar had entertained me with. He became furious,
and I had only to fan the flame which I had raised in order to create a
quarrel between them; but, having more fears about the serdars power of
hurting me than I had confidence in the ability of the chief executioner
to protect me, I thought it best for all parties that I should retire
from the scene, and craved my masters permission to return to Tehran.
Pleased with an opportunity of showing the serdar that no body but
himself could control his servants, he at once assented to my proposal;
and forthwith began to give me instructions concerning what I should say
to the grand vizier touching the late expedition, and particularly in
what light I was to place his own individual prowess.

You yourself were there, Hajji, said he to me, and therefore can
describe the whole action as well as I could. We cannot precisely say
that we gained a victory, because, alas! we have no heads to show;
but we also were not defeated. The serdar, ass that he is, instead of
waiting for the artillery, and availing himself of the infantry, attacks
a walled town with his cavalry only, and is very much surprised that the
garrison shut their gates, and fire at him from the ramparts: of course
he can achieve nothing, and retires in disgrace. Had I been your leader,
things would have gone otherwise; and as it was, I was the only man who
came hand to hand with the enemy. I was wounded in a desperate manner;
and had it not been for the river between us, not a man of them would
have been left to tell the tale. You will say all this, and as much more
as you please; then, giving me a packet of letters to the grand vizier,
and to the different men in office, and an _arizeh_ (a memorial) to
the Shah, he ordered me to depart; I found the Shah still encamped at
Sultanieh, although the autumn was now far advanced, and the season
for returning to Tehran near at hand. I presented myself at the grand
viziers levee, with several other couriers, from different parts of
the empire, and delivered my dispatches. When he had inspected mine,
he called me to him, and said aloud, You are welcome! You also were at
Hamamlû? The infidels did not dare to face the _Kizzil bashes_, eh? The
Persian horseman, and the Persian sword, after all, nobody can face.
Your khan, I see, has been wounded; he is indeed one of the Shahs best
servants. Well it was no worse. You must have had hot work on each bank
of the river.

To all of this, and much more, I said Yes, yes, and no, no, as fast
as the necessity of the remark required; and I enjoyed the satisfaction
of being looked upon as a man just come out of a battle. The vizier then
called to one of his mirzas or secretaries, Here, said he, you
must make out a _fatteh nameh_ (a proclamation of victory), which
must immediately be sent into the different provinces, particularly
to Khorassan, in order to overawe the rebel khans there; and let
the account be suited to the dignity and character of our victorious
monarch. We are in want of a victory just at present; but, recollect, a
good, substantial, and bloody victory.

How many strong were the enemy? inquired the mirza, looking towards
me.

_Bisyar, bisyar,_ many, many, answered I, hesitating and embarrassed
how many it would be agreeable that I should say.

Put down fifty thousand, said the vizier coolly.

How many killed? said the mirza, looking first at the vizier, then at
me.

Write ten to fifteen thousand killed, answered the minister: remember
these letters have to travel a great distance. It is beneath the dignity
of the Shah to kill less than his thousands and tens of thousands. Would
you have him less than Rustam, and weaker than Afrasiab? No, our kings
must be drinkers of blood, and slayers of men, to be held in estimation
by their subjects, and surrounding nations. Well, have you written?
said the grand vizier.

Yes, at your highnesss service, answered the mirza; I have written
(reading from his paper) that the infidel dogs of Moscovites (whom may
Allah in his mercy impale on stakes of living fires!) dared to appear in
arms to the number of fifty thousand, flanked and supported by a
hundred mouths spouting fire and brimstone; but that as soon as the
all-victorious armies of the Shah appeared, ten to fifteen thousand
of them gave up their souls; whilst prisoners poured in in such vast
numbers, that the prices of slaves have diminished 100 per cent in all
the slave-markets of Asia.

Barikallah! Well done, said the grand vizier. You have written well.
If the thing be not exactly so, yet, by the good luck of the Shah, it
will, and therefore it amounts to the same thing. Truth is an
excellent thing when it suits ones purpose, but very inconvenient when
otherwise.

Yes, said the mirza, as he looked up from his knee, upon which he
rested his hand to write his letter, and quoting a well-known passage
in Saadi, Falsehood mixed with good intentions, is preferable to truth
tending to excite strife.

The vizier then called for his shoes, rose from his seat, mounted the
horse that was waiting for him at the door of his tent, and proceeded to
the audience of the Shah, to give an account of the different dispatches
that he had just received. I followed him, and mixed in with his large
retinue of servants, until he turned round to me, and said, You are
dismissed; go, and take your rest.

[Illustration: Death of Zeenab. 21.jpg]

CHAPTER XLIII

He relates a horrid tale, the consequences of which plunge him in the
greatest misery.

In a few days after the camp was struck, and the Shah returned to his
winter quarters at Tehran, in the same pomp and parade with which he
had left it. I had resumed my post as sub-lieutenant to the chief
executioner, and was busily engaged in disposing of the men under my
command, that the best order might be preserved during the march, when
I was commanded to send off a messenger to Tehran, with orders that the
bazigers, the dancers and singers, should be in readiness to receive the
Shah on his arrival at Sulimanieh. This place, as I have said before, is
a palace situated on the banks of the Caraj, about nine parasangs from
the capital.

On receiving this order, my long-forgotten Zeenab came again to my
recollection, and all my tender feelings which, owing to my active life,
had hitherto lain dormant, were now revived. Seven months were elapsed
since we had first become acquainted; and although during that time I
had lived with men of a nature sufficiently barbarous to destroy every
good feeling, yet there was something so terrible in what I imagined
must now be her situation, and I felt myself so much the cause of it,
that my heart smote me every time that the subject came across my mind.
We shall soon see, thought I, if my fears be well founded. In a few
days more we reach Sulimanieh, and then her fate will be decided.

On the day of our arrival I headed the procession, to see that every
proper arrangement had been made within the palace; and as I approached
the walls of the harem, within which the bazigers had already taken
their station, I heard the sounds of their voices and of their musical
instruments. What would I not have given to have spoken to Zeenab, or
even to have observed her at a distance! But I knew that it would not be
prudent to ask many questions concerning her, as suspicions, dangerous
both to her and me, might arise, and probably involve us in immediate
ruin. Indeed, had I been inclined to give myself much stir on the
subject, it would have been to no purpose; for very shortly after I
heard the salute fired from the _Zamburek_ camels, which indicated that
the Shah had alighted from his horse.

After he had smoked one pipe in his hall of state, and had dismissed the
courtiers who attended him, he retired to the harem.

Upon his entrance there, I heard the songs of the women, accompanied by
tambourines, guitars, and little drums, rending the air as they walked
in procession before him. Well did I listen with all my ears to discover
Zeenabs voice; but every endeavour was baffled, and I remained in a
disagreeable state of vibration betwixt hope and fear, until a hasty
order was issued for my old master, Mirza Ahmak, the kings physician,
to appear immediately before the Shah. Combinations of the mind in all
matters of deep interest are formed as quick as thought, and act like
the foretellings of prophecy. When I heard that the hakîm was sent for,
a cold thrill ran through my veins, and I said to myself, Zeenab is
lost for ever!

He came, was soon dismissed, and seeing me at the door of the harem,
took me on one side, and said, Hajji, the Shah is much enraged. You
remember the Cûrdish slave, which I presented to him at the festival of
the No Rûz. She has not appeared among the dancing-women, and pretends
to be ill. He loves her, and had set his heart upon seeing her. He has
called me to account for her conduct, as if I could control the caprice
of this daughter of the devil; and says, that if he does not find her in
full health and beauty when he reaches the ark (the palace), which will
be on the next best fortunate hour, he will pluck my beard out by the
roots. Curse the unlucky moment which made her my slave; and still more
the hour when I first invited the Shah into my house.

Upon this he left me, to set off immediately for Tehran, whilst I
retired to my tent, to ruminate over the horrid fate that awaited this
unfortunate girl. I endeavoured to rally my spirits by the hope that
perhaps she was actually ill, and that it had been impossible for her to
appear before the king; and then I consoled myself with the idea, that
if my fears were well founded, the doctors heart might be softened, and
he might screen her from the Shahs observation, by giving some evasive
reason for her non-appearance. Then, after all, as if braving my
feelings, I repeated to myself the lines of one of our poets, who, like
me, had lost his mistress.

Is there but one pair of stag eyes, or one cypress waist, or one
full-moon face in the world, that I should so mourn the loss of my cruel
one?

Why should I burn, why should I cut myself, and sigh out my griefs
under the windows of the deaf-eared charmer?

No, let me love where love is cheap; for I am a miser of my feelings.

Thus I endeavoured to make light of the subject, and to show myself a
true Mussulman by my contempt for womankind. But still, turn where I
would, go where I would, the image of Zeenab, a torn and mangled corpse,
was ever before my eyes, and haunted my imagination at all seasons and
at all hours.

At length the fortunate hour for the Shahs entry was announced, and he
entered Tehran amidst the whole of its population, who had been turned
out to greet his arrival. My most pressing want was to see the hakîm,
as if by chance, in order that no suspicion might fall upon me, in case
poor Zeenab was found guilty. On the very evening of our arrival, my
wishes (alas! how fatally!) were accomplished. As I was taken up in
giving some orders to a nasakchi, I saw him come out of the Shahs
private apartment, looking full of care, with one hand stuck in his
girdle, the other in his side, his back more bent than usual, and with
his eyes fixed on the ground. I placed myself in his way, and gave him
the salutation of peace, which caused him to look up.

When he had recognized me, he stopped, saying, You are the very man
I was seeking. Come hither; and he took me on one side: Here is a
strange story afloat, said he; this Cûrd has brought all sorts of
ashes on my head. _Wallah!_ by Heaven, the Shah has run clean mad.
He talks of making a general massacre of all that is male, within and
without his harem, beginning with his viziers, and finishing by the
eunuchs. He swears by his own head, that he will make me the first
example if I do not find out the culprit.

What culprit? who? what? said I, what has happened?

Why, Zeenab, answered he, Zeenab.

Oh! I understand, said I; Aye! she you used to love so much.

I? answered the Hakîm, as if afraid of being himself suspected, I?
_Astaferallah!_ Heaven forbid! Do not say so for pitys sake, Hajji, for
if such a suspicion were once hinted, the Shah would put his threat into
immediate execution. Where did you ever hear that I loved Zeenab?

Many things were reported concerning you at that time, said I, and
all were astonished that a man of your wisdom, the Locman of his time,
the Galenûs of Persia, should have embarked in so frail and dangerous a
commodity as a Cûrdish maid, one of the undoubted progeny of the
devil himself, whose footsteps could not be otherwise than notoriously
unfortunate; who, of herself, was enough to bring ill luck to a whole
empire, much more to a single family like yours.

You say true, Hajji, said Mirza Ahmak, as he shook his head from
side to side, and struck his left hand on the pit of his stomach. Ah!
marvellous fool was I ever to have been caught by her black eyes! in
fact, they were not eyes, they were spells:--the devil himself looked
out of them, not she, and if he is not in her now, may I be called
_Gorumsak_ all the rest of my days. But, after all, what shall I do?

What can I say? answered I. What will the Shah do with her?

Let her go to Jehanum, answered the doctor; let her go to her
fathers mansion, and a good journey to her. I am only thinking of my
own skin.

Upon this, looking up tenderly at me, he said, Ah, Hajji! you know how
much I have always loved you: I took you into my house when you were
houseless--I placed you in a good situation, and you have risen in your
profession all through me--allow that there is, or that there ought to
be such a thing in the world as gratitude--you have now an opportunity
of exercising it: then pausing for a while, and playing with the tip of
my beard, he said, Have you guessed what I wished to say?

No, said I, it has not yet reached my understanding.

Well, then, said he, in two words, own that you are the culprit. A
great loss of consideration would accrue to me, but none to you; you are
young, and can bear such a story to be told of you.

Loss of consideration, indeed! exclaimed I, what is that when the
loss of life will ensue? Are you mad, oh Hakîm, or do you think me so?
Why should I die? why do you wish to have my blood upon your head? All I
can say, if I am questioned on the subject, is, that I do not think you
guilty, because you were ever too much in fear of the khanum, your wife;
but I will never say that I am guilty.

Whilst in the middle of our conversation, one of the Shahs eunuchs
came up to me, and said that his chief had been ordered to see that the
sub-lieutenant to the chief executioner, with five men, were in waiting
at the foot of the high tower at the entrance of the harem, at the hour
of midnight; and that they were to bring a _taboot_, or hand-bier, with
them, to bear away a corpse for interment.

All I could say in answer was _be cheshm!_ (by my eyes); and lucky was
it for me that he quitted me immediately, that Mirza Ahmak had also left
me, and that it was dusk, or else the fear and anguish which overwhelmed
me upon hearing this message must have betrayed me. A cold sweat broke
out all over my body, my eyes swam, my knees knocked under me, and I
should perhaps have fallen into a swoon, if the counter fear of being
seen in such a state, in the very centre of the palace, had not roused
me.

What, said I to myself, is it not enough that I have been the cause
of her death, must I be her executioner too? must I be the grave-digger
to my own child? must I be the ill-fated he who is to stretch her cold
limbs in the grave, and send my own lifes blood back again to its
mother earth? Why am I called upon to do this, oh cruel, most cruel
destiny? Cannot I fly from the horrid scene? Cannot I rather run a
dagger into my heart? But no, tis plain my fate is ordained, sealed,
fixed! and in vain I struggle,--I must fulfil the task appointed for me!
Oh world, world! what art thou, and how much more wouldst thou be known,
if each man was to lift up the veil that hideth his own actions, and
show himself as he really is!

With these feelings, oppressed as if the mountain of Demawend and all
its sulphurs were on my heart, I went about my work doggedly, collecting
the several men who were to be my colleagues in this bloody tragedy;
who, heedless and unconcerned at an event of no unfrequent occurrence,
were indifferent whether they were to be the bearers of a murdered
corpse, or themselves the instruments of murder.

The night was dark and lowering, and well suited to the horrid scene
about to be acted. The sun, unusual in these climates, had set,
surrounded by clouds of the colour of blood; and, as the night advanced,
they rolled on in unceasing thunders over the summits of the adjacent
range of Albors. At sudden intervals the moon was seen through the dense
vapour, which covered her again as suddenly, and restored the night to
its darkness and solemnity. I was seated lonely in the guard-room of
the palace, when I heard the cries of the sentinels on the watch-towers,
announcing midnight, and the voices of the muezzins from the mosques,
the wild notes of whose chant floating on the wind ran through my veins
with the chilling creep of death, and announced to me that the hour of
murder was at hand! They were the harbingers of death to the helpless
woman. I started up,--I could not bear to hear them more,--I rushed on
in desperate haste, and as I came to the appointed spot, I found my five
companions already arrived, sitting unconcerned on and about the coffin
that was to carry my Zeenab to her eternal mansion. The only word which
I had power to say to them was, _Shoud?_ Is it done? to which they
answered, _Ne shoud._ It is not done. To which ensued an awful
silence. I had hoped that all was over, and that I should have been
spared every other horror, excepting that of conducting the melancholy
procession to the place of burial; but no, the deed was still to be
done, and I could not retreat.

On the confines of the apartments allotted to the women in the Shahs
palace stands a high octagonal tower, some thirty gez in height, seen
conspicuous from all parts of the city, at the summit of which is
a chamber, in which he frequently reposes and takes the air. It is
surrounded by unappropriated ground, and the principal gate of the harem
is close to its base. On the top of all is a terrace (a spot, ah! never
by me to be forgotten!) and it was to this that our whole attention
was now riveted. I had scarcely arrived, when, looking up, we saw
three figures, two men and a female, whose forms were lighted up by an
occasional gleam of moonshine, that shone in a wild and uncertain manner
upon them. They seemed to drag their victim between them with much
violence, whilst she was seen in attitudes of supplication, on her
knees, with her hands extended, and in all the agony of the deepest
desperation. When they were at the brink of the tower her shrieks were
audible, but so wild, so varied by the blasts of wind that blew round
the building, that they appeared to me like the sounds of laughing
madness.

We all kept a dead and breathless silence: even my five ruffians seemed
moved--I was transfixed like a lump of lifeless clay, and if I am asked
what my sensations were at the time, I should be at a loss to describe
them,--I was totally inanimate, and still I knew what was going on. At
length, one loud, shrill, and searching scream of the bitterest woe
was heard, which was suddenly lost in an interval of the most frightful
silence. A heavy fall, which immediately succeeded, told us that all was
over. I was then roused, and with my head confused, half crazed and half
conscious, I immediately rushed to the spot, where my Zeenab and
her burden lay struggling, a mangled and mutilated corpse. She still
breathed, but the convulsions of death were upon her, and her lips moved
as if she would speak, although the blood was fast flowing from her
mouth. I could not catch a word, although she uttered sounds that seemed
like words. I thought she said, My child! my child! but perhaps it
was an illusion of my brain. I hung over her in the deepest despair, and
having lost all sense of prudence and of self-preservation, I acted
so much up to my own feelings, that if the men around me had had the
smallest suspicion of my real situation, nothing could have saved
me from destruction. I even carried my frenzy so far as to steep my
handkerchief in her blood, saying to myself, This, at least, shall
never part from me! I came to myself, however, upon hearing the shrill
and demon-like voice of one of her murderers from the towers height,
crying out--Is she dead? Aye, as a stone, answered one of my
ruffians. Carry her away, then, said the voice. To hell yourself,
in a suppressed tone, said another ruffian; upon which my men lifted the
dead body into the taboot, placed it upon their shoulders, and walked
off with it to the burial-ground without the city, where they found
a grave ready dug to receive it. I walked mechanically after them,
absorbed in most melancholy thoughts, and when we had arrived at the
burial-place, I sat myself down on a grave-stone, scarcely conscious
of what was going on. I watched the operations of the nasakchies with a
sort of unmeaning stare; saw them place the dead body in the earth; then
shovel the mould over it; then place two stones, one at the feet and the
other at the head. When they had finished, they came up to me and said
that all was done: to which I answered, Go home; I will follow. They
left me seated on the grave, and returned to the town.

The night continued dark, and distant thunders still echoed through the
mountains. No other sound was heard, save now and then the infant-like
cries of the jackal, that now in packs, and then by two or three at the
time, kept prowling round the mansions of the dead.

The longer I remained near the grave, the less I felt inclined to return
to my home, and to my horrid employment of executioner. I loathed my
existence, and longed to be so secluded from the world, and from all
dealings with those of high authority in it, that the only scheme which
I could relish was that of becoming a real dervish, and passing the
rest of my days in penitence and privations. Besides, the fear of having
disclosed, both by my words and actions, how much I was involved in the
fate of the deceased, came across my mind, and added to my repugnance of
returning.

Day by this time began to dawn, and impelled, both by a sense of my
danger and by my desire to quit a place which had become odious to me, I
determined to proceed on foot to Kinaragird, the first stage to Ispahan,
and then take advantage of the first caravan that should be going to
that city.

I will go and seek consolation in retirement, and in the bosom of
my family, said I to myself; I will see what is become of my
parents--perhaps I may reach the paternal roof in time to receive my
fathers dying blessing, and by my presence give him in his old age the
happiness of seeing his long-lost son restored to him. How shall I be
able to go through my duties, with this misfortune about my neck? I
have lived long enough in vice, and it is time that I should make the
_tobeh_, or renounce my wicked ways.

In short, this horrid event produced such an effect upon my mind, that
had I continued in the sentiments it inspired me with through life,
I might well have aspired to be placed at the head of our most holy
dervishes.

[Illustration: Hajji takes sanctuary. 22.jpg]

CHAPTER XLIV

Hajji Baba meets with an old friend, who cheers him up, gives him good
advice, and secures him from danger.

Pulling out the handkerchief from my breast, still wet with the blood
of the unfortunate Zeenab, I contemplated it with feelings of the most
bitter anguish; then spreading it before me on her grave, I went through
a ceremony to which I had long been unaccustomed,--I said my prayers.
Refreshed by this act, and strengthened in my resolutions of leaving
Tehran, I tore myself away, and stept valiantly onwards towards Ispahan.

Having reached Kinaragird, without seeing the trace of a caravan, and
feeling myself sufficiently strong to proceed on my journey, I pushed on
for the caravanserai of the sultans reservoir, where I intended to halt
for the night.

As I came in sight of the building, at some distance in the desert,
I saw a man putting himself into strange attitudes, playing antics by
himself, and apparently addressing himself to something on the ground.
I approached him, and found that he was talking with great animation to
his cap, which was thrown some yards before him. Going still nearer to
him, I discovered a face that was familiar to me.

Who can it be? said I to myself: it must be one of my old friends,
the dervishes of Meshed.

In fact, it proved to be the _Kessehgou_, the story-teller, who was
practising a new story by himself, making his cap act audience. As soon
as he saw, he recognized me, and came up to embrace me with seeming
rapture.

Ahi, Hajji, said he, peace be with you! Where have you been these
many years? Your place has long been empty. My eyes are refreshed by the
sight of you. Then he repeated himself in the same strain several times
over, until we at length got upon more rational subjects.

He related his adventures since we had last met; which consisted in the
detail of long and painful journeys, and of the various methods which
his ingenuity had suggested to him of gaining his bread. He was now on
his return from Constantinople, from whence he had walked, and had it in
contemplation to make his way in the same manner to Delhi, after having
passed a summer at Ispahan, whither he was now proceeding.

Although little inclined to talk, in the melancholy mood in which my
mind had been plunged, still I could not refrain in some measure from
catching the exuberance of spirits with which my companion seemed to
overflow, and I also gave him an account of myself since the day I left
Meshed with Dervish Sefer, when I had just recovered from the bastinado
on the soles of my feet.

As I proceeded in my narrative, showing him how, step by step, I
had advanced in station and dignity, it was amusing to see with
what increased reverence he treated me. At length, when I came to my
promotion to the rank of sub-lieutenant to the chief executioner, I
verily believe that he would have prostrated himself before me, with
such extreme respect had experience taught him to treat gentlemen of
that profession. But when he heard the sequel of my story; how for
a woman I had abandoned my high situation and all the prospects of
advancement which it held out to me; I perceived the low estimation to
which I fell in his opinion. He exclaimed that I was not worthy of
the _kalaât_ (the dress of distinction), which fortune had cut out,
fashioned, and invested me with. So, because the Shah thinks it fitting
to destroy a faithless slave, said he, 'in whose guilt you have at most
only half the share, you think it necessary to abandon the excellent
station in life to which you had reached, and to begin again the
drudgery of an existence lower and more uncertain than even the one
which I enjoy. Well (making a pause), there is no accounting for the
different roads which men take in their search after happiness: some
keep the high road; some take short cuts; others strike out new paths
for themselves; and others again permit themselves to be led on without
asking the road: but I never yet heard of one, but yourself, who, having
every road and every path thrown open to him, preferred losing his
way, with the risk of never again finding it. And then he finished by
quoting a reflection of the poet Ferdûsi, applicable to the uncertainty
of a soldiers life, by way of consoling me for the vicissitudes of
mine, saying, _Gahi pûsht ber zeen, gahi zeen ber pûsht_ (sometimes a
saddle bears the weight of his back, and sometimes his back the weight
of a saddle).

Whilst we were conversing, a caravan appeared on the road from Ispahan,
and making straight for the caravanserai, took up its abode there for
the night.

Come, said the dervish, who was a merry sociable fellow, come,
forget your sorrows for the present; we will pass an agreeable evening,
notwithstanding we are in the midst of this dreary and thirsty desert.
Let us get together the travellers, the merchants, and the mule-drivers
who compose the caravan, and after we have well supped and smoked I will
relate to you a story that has recently happened at Stamboul, and which
I am sure cannot yet have been imported into Persia.

Most willingly did I accede to his proposal; for I was happy to drive
melancholy from my thoughts at any rate, and we strolled into the
building together.

Here we found men from different parts of Persia, unloading their beasts
and putting their effects in order, settling themselves in the different
open rooms which look upon the square of the caravanserai. A dervish,
and a story-teller too, was a great acquisition, after the fatigue and
dullness of a journey across the Salt Desert; and when we had made a
hearty meal he collected them on the square platform in the middle of
the court, making them sit round, whilst he took his station in the
midst. He then related his promised story.

I endeavoured to pay every attention to it; but I found that my mind
so constantly strayed from the narrative to the scenes I had lately
witnessed, that it became impossible for me to retain what he said.
I remarked, however, that he interested his audience in the highest
degree; for when plunged in one of my deepest reveries I was frequently
roused by the laughter and applause which the dervish excited. I
promised myself on some future occasion to make him relate it over
again, and in the meanwhile continued to give myself up wholly to my
feelings. Much did I envy the apparent light-heartedness that pervaded
my companions and which at intervals made the vaulted rooms of the
building resound with shouts of merriment. I longed for the time when I
should again be like them, and enjoy the blessings of existence without
care; but grief, like every other passion, must have its course, and, as
the spring which gushes with violence from the rock, by degrees dwindles
into a rivulet; so it must be let to pass off gradually until it becomes
a moderate feeling, and at length is lost in the vortex of the world.

Day had closed by the time that the dervish had finished his story.
The blue vault of heaven was completely furnished with bright twinkling
stars, which seemed to have acquired a fresh brilliancy after the storms
of the preceding night; and the moon was preparing to add her soft
lustre to the scene, when a horseman, fully equipped, entered the porch
that leads into the caravanserai.

The principal persons of the caravan had still kept their stations on
the platform, quietly smoking their pipes and discussing the merits of
the tale they had just heard; the servants had dispersed to spread their
masters beds; and the muleteers had retired for the night to nestle
in among their mules and their baggage: I, destitute of everything, had
made up my mind to pass my night on the bare ground with a stone for
my pillow; but when I looked at the horseman, as he emerged from the
darkness of the porch into the light, my ideas took another turn.

I recognized in him one of the nasakchies, who under my orders had
witnessed the death of the wretched Zeenab; and I very soon guessed what
the object of his journey might be, when I heard him ask if the caravan
was coming from or going to Tehran; and whether they had seen a person
whom, by the description he gave, I instantly recognized to be myself.

My friend the dervish immediately divined how the matter stood; and
deeply versed in every stratagem of deceit, without hesitation took upon
himself to answer for the whole company.

He said that all were going to the capital, with the exception of
himself and his friend, who, both dervishes, were just arrived from
Constantinople; but that he had met one answering to the person he
had described, one who seemed oppressed with care and worn with grief,
wandering about in a sort of chance manner through the wilds of the
desert. He added many more particulars which corresponded so entirely to
my appearance and history that the horseman could not doubt for a moment
but that this was the person he was in search of, and rode off in
great haste according to the directions of the dervish, who, as may be
imagined, purposely led him wrong.

When he had been gone some time the dervish took me on one side, and
said, If you want to secure yourself from this man, you must instantly
depart; for when he finds his search fruitless, and is tired of
wandering about the desert, he will certainly return here, and then what
can hinder your being discovered?

I will do anything rather than be discovered by him, said I: he is
evidently sent to seize me. I can expect no mercy from such a ruffian,
particularly as I have not enough money to offer him, for I know his
price. Where can I go?

The dervish reflected a while, and said, You must go to Kom: you will
reach it before morning, and as soon as you arrive there, lose not a
moment in getting within the precincts of the sanctuary of the tomb of
Fatimeh. You will then, and not till then, be safe, even from the Shahs
power. Should you be caught without its walls, there is no hope for you.
You will be seized; and then may Allah take you into his holy keeping!

But when I am there, said I, what shall I do? how shall I live?

Leave that to me, said the dervish; I shall soon overtake you, and as
I know the place and many of the people in it, _Inshallah_, please God,
you will not fare so ill as you may imagine. I myself was once obliged
to do the same thing, for having been the means of procuring poison for
one of the Shahs women, who used it to destroy a rival. Orders were
sent to seize me, and I managed to reach the _bust_ (the refuge seat) at
Shahabdul Azîm just five minutes before the executioner who was to have
apprehended me. I never fared better in my life: for I did nothing; I
was supported by the charity of those who came to say their prayers at
the shrine of the saint: and the women, who constantly travelled thus
far to pray and take their pleasure, always contrived to comfort me
in my confinement. The only evil you have to fear is an order from the
Shah, that no one on pain of death shall give you food: if so, you will
be starved into a surrender, and then the Prophet be your protector! But
your case is not one of sufficient consequence to make you fear this.
The Shah cannot care so much for one slave, when he has a hundred others
to fill her place. After all, men do not die so easily as we Persians
imagine. Recollect what the Sheikh says, Clouds and wind, the moon, the
sun, the firmament (and he might have added dervishes), all are busied,
that thou, O man, mayest obtain thy bread: only eat it not in neglect.

I am not the man, said I, who will forget your kindness. Perhaps my
fortune may again be on the rise, and then I will put my beard into your
hand. You know Hajji Baba of old, and that he is not one of those who
exposes his virtues on the palm of his hand, and hides his vices under
his armpit. What I was at Meshed, the same I am now: the seller of
adulterated smoke and the deputy lieutenant to the chief executioner,
are one and the same.

Well, then, go, said the dervish, as he embraced me, and God be with
you! Take care of the ghôls and gins as you cross the Salt Desert; and
again, I repeat, may Allah, peace, and safety attend you!

As the day broke I could distinguish the gilt cupola of the tomb at a
considerable distance before me; and this beacon of my security inspired
me with fresh vigour in my solitary march over the dreary waste. I had
scarcely reached the outskirts of the town of Kom before I perceived the
horseman at some distance behind, making the best of his way in search
of me; and therefore I looked neither right nor left until the massive
chain that hangs across the principal gateway of the sanctuary was
placed between myself and my pursuer. I then exclaimed, _Ilhamdillah!_
Praises to Allah! O Mahomed! O Ali! and kissing the threshold of the
tomb I said my prayers with all the fervency of one who having escaped a
tempest has got safe into port.

I had scarcely time to look about me before I perceived the nasakchi
coming towards me. He accosted me with a cold salutation of peace, and
then said, that he had a royal order to conduct me into the Shahs
presence wherever I might be found.

I told him that, with all reverence for his firman, it was my intention
to avail myself of the acknowledged privilege of every true believer,
to seek refuge at the shrine of the saint, and that, of course, he could
not violate it by dragging me from it. Besides, this is the favourite
saint of the King of Kings, said I, and he respects this shrine more
than any other.

What shall I do then, Hajji? said he. You know this is not written
in the order. If I go back without you, perhaps the Shah may cut off my
ears instead of yours.

_Inshallah!_ please God, said I.

Please God, do you say? said he in a fury: am I come all this way
that men should call me ass? I am not a man if I do not make you return
with me. And forthwith we began to wrangle to such a degree that
several of the priests, attached to the endowment, came from their rooms
to inquire into the cause of the disturbance.

Here is one, exclaimed I, who presumes to violate the sanctuary. I
have taken refuge in it, and he talks of forcing me away! You, that are
men of God, addressing myself to the mollahs, speak, and say whether
you will allow this?

They all took my part. This is unheard of, said they, in Persia.
If you dare to take one from the _bust_, you will not only have the
vengeance of the saint on your head, but the whole corps of the Ullemah
will be upon you; and be you protected by the King of Kings, or the king
of demons, nothing can screen you from their fury.

The nasakchi remained quite uncertain what to do, and at length,
softening his tone, he endeavoured to make a virtue of necessity,
and began to negotiate with me upon what he might get if he went away
without further molesting me. I did not deny the right he had of being
paid for his trouble, for it is precisely what I should have expected
myself had I been in his place; but I made him recollect how little I
was able to requite him; for he knew as well as I all the circumstances
of my flight, and that I had brought nothing away with me from Tehran.

He suggested that I might give him what effects I had left behind me; to
which I did not in the least agree, but recommended him to go whence he
came, and to leave the afflicted to their miseries.

The fact is, as I afterwards found out, the rogue had already taken
possession of my property, which consisted of clothes, trunks,
bedding, horse-furniture, pipes, etc., having himself been the cause of
denouncing me to the Shah. He had watched the effect which the murderous
death of the unhappy Cûrd had produced upon me, and immediately had laid
his plan for my destruction, and for stepping into my situation.

Finding that he could not exert the power which had been vested in him,
and that his firman was so much waste paper, as long as I continued to
hold fast to my refuge-place, he thought it best to return to Tehran;
but in so doing he delivered his powers into the hands of the governor
of the town, with strict injunctions to keep watch over my actions, and
in case I stirred from the sanctuary, to seize and send me a prisoner to
the seat of government.

CHAPTER XLV

He takes refuge in a sanctuary, where his melancholy thoughts are
diverted by a curious story.

I had scarcely got rid of the nasakchi, when I heard the voice of my
friend the dervish, who was announcing his arrival in the holy city, by
all the different invocations of the Almighty and his attributes, which
are frequently made by true believers.

Very soon after, I was delighted to see him coming towards me, and to
hear him express his satisfaction that I had reached my resting-place
before my pursuer had had time to come up with me.

He proposed to keep me company for a short time, and we took possession
of one of the cells situated in the square court forming part of the
buildings in the centre of which the tomb is placed. I had by good
luck brought away my ready money, consisting of twenty tomauns in gold,
besides some silver; and we expended some of this in articles of the
first necessity, such as a mat to cover the bare floor of our room, and
an earthen jug for our water.

But before we had got any further in our domestic arrangements, the
dervish accosted me in the following manner: I must be informed of one
thing before we proceed. Do you ever say your prayers? do you keep your
fasts? do you make your ablutions regularly? or do you continue to live
in that fit state for eternal perdition which we were wont to do at
Meshed?

Why do you speak thus to me? said I. What can it be to you whether I
pray or not?

It is not much to me, answered the dervish, but it is a great deal
to yourself. This Kom is a place that, excepting on the subject of
religion, and settling who are worthy of salvation and who to be damned,
no one opens his lips. Every man you meet is either a descendant of the
Prophet or a man of the law. All wear long and mortified faces, and seem
to look upon that man as an appointed subject for the eternal fires, who
happens to have a rosy cheek and a laughing eye. Therefore, as soon as
I approach the place, I always change the atmosphere of my countenance
from fair to haze, and from haze to downright clouds and darkness,
according as circumstances may require. My knees, which scarcely ever
touch the praying carpet, now perform their functions five good times
per day; and I, who in any other place never consult any Kebleh[78] but
that of my own pleasure and inclinations, now know the direction of the
true one, as well as I know the way to my mouth.

All this is very well, said I; but what may be the use of it? I am a
Mussulman, tis true, but to such a pitch as this--no never.

The use? answered the dervish. The use is this; that it will save you
from being starved or stoned to death. These priests will hearken to no
medium,--either you are a true believer or you are not. If they were
to have the least suspicion that you doubted any of the articles of the
faith,--that you did not look upon the Koran as a living miracle, and
did not read it with becoming reverence, whether you understand or
not,--they would soon show you what power they possess. And if they were
to suppose you to be a _Sûfi_ (a free thinker), by the death of your
father and mother, they would tear you into little pieces, and then
feel contented that they had got on another post on the high road
to paradise. Perhaps, friend Hajji, you do not know that this is the
residence of the celebrated Mirza Abdul Cossim, the first _mûshtehed_
(divine) of Persia; a man who, if he were to give himself sufficient
stir, would make the people believe any doctrine that he might choose
to promulgate. Such is his influence, that many believe he could even
subvert the authority of the Shah himself, and make his subjects look
upon his firmans as worthless, as so much waste paper. But the truth is,
he is a good man; and, except stoning his sûfi, and holding us wandering
dervishes as the dirt under his feet, I know of no fault in him.

Having heard him out, I agreed that, however I might deplore the want of
habit in my religious duties, yet, situated as I was, it was necessary
that I should acquire them, in order to be held in proper estimation
by the great authorities, under whose eye I was immediately placed; and
forthwith I set about saying my prayers and making my ablutions, as
if my very existence depended upon my regularity. Indeed, what I had
formerly looked upon as irksome ceremony, now became an agreeable
pastime, and helped greatly to soften the tedium of my melancholy life.
I never omitted to rise at the first call; to make my ablutions at the
cistern, using all the forms of the strictest shiah, and then to pray in
the most conspicuous spot I could find. The intonations of my _Allah
ho akbar_ were to be heard in each corner of the tomb, and I hoped they
came to the ear of every inhabitant of it. No face wore a more mortified
appearance than mine: even the dervish, who was the best mimic possible,
could not beat me in the downcast eye, the hypocritical ejaculation, the
affected taciturnity of the sour, proud, and bigoted man of the law.

It became known that I was a refugee at the sanctuary; and I very soon
discovered the advantages which the dervish had promised me, from taking
upon me the airs of the place, and assuming the character of a rigid
Mussulman. He spread abroad the history of my misfortune, of course much
to my advantage, giving me out for one who was suffering for the sins of
another, and asserting that the doctor ought, in fact, to have been the
sufferer.

I became acquainted with the principal personages of the town, who were
agreed that they had never known a better model of a true believer than
I; and had I not been confined to the walls of the sanctuary, it was in
contemplation to have made me a _peish namaz_ (a leader of the prayers)
at their religious meetings in the mosque. I found that the profound
taciturnity which I had adopted was the best help towards the
establishment of a high reputation for wisdom; and that, by the help
of my beads, which I kept constantly counting, a mumble of my lips,
and occasional groans and pious exclamations, the road to the highest
consideration was open to me.

My dervish and I lived almost free of expense, so plentifully were
we supplied with food. The women, in particular, did not lose an
opportunity of bringing me presents of fruit, honey, bread, and other
necessaries, for which I repaid them with kind thanks, and now and then
with a talisman, written with my own hand.

But although our life was one of ease, yet it was so dull, and so void
of incident, that even the spirits of my companion began to sink under
it. In order to fill up some of the long hours of listlessness which
oppressed us, I encouraged him to recite all his stories, one by one,
not forgetting the one which he had related with so much effect in
the caravanserai of the sultans reservoir, and we found this a very
agreeable mode of closing the day.

I feel, O reader, that you also may partake of that same dullness
which oppressed me; and I think it but fair that I should endeavour to
dissipate it, in the same manner as mine was by the dervish,--therefore
I will repeat the story which he related to me; and, whether it amuses
you or not, yet perhaps you will be glad to know how the mind of a poor
prisoner, in the sanctuary at Kom, was diverted from its miseries.

[Illustration: The baked head. 23.jpg]

STORY OF THE BAKED HEAD

The present Khon-khor of Roum[79] is a staunch Mussulman and a rigid
upholder of the true faith. Upon his coming to the throne, he announced
his intention of doing away with many customs common to the infidels,
which had crept into the administration of the state during the reign
of his predecessor; and he thought it his duty to endeavour to restore
things to their primitive simplicity and to adopt a mode of government
purely Turkish. Accordingly he resumed a custom which had almost got
into disuse,--that of going about the city in _tebdil_, or disguise; and
he was so careful about the disguises which he adopted, and the people
whom he admitted into his secrets on these occasions, that he took all
sorts of precautions, and invented all sorts of schemes of secrecy, in
whatever related to his dresses, and the characters in which he chose to
appear.

It is not long ago that considerable discontent prevailed throughout
Turkey, and rebellion threatened to break out in Constantinople itself.
He was then very anxious to ascertain the temper of the public mind;
and, in his usual wary manner, determined to get a suit made that would
make him undiscoverable by even his own immediate attendants.

He usually sent for different tailors at different times, and in
different places. On this occasion he ordered his favourite slave,
the white eunuch Mansouri, to bring him one of no repute, with all
the requisite secrecy, at midnight, in order that he might receive
instructions about a dress.

The slave in great humility made his _bash ustun_ (on my head be it),
and went his way to execute the command.

Close to the gate of the _Bezesten_, or cloth-market, he saw an old man
in a stall, so narrow that he could scarce turn himself about in it, who
was taken up in patching an old cloak. He was almost bent double with
constant labour at his shopboard; and his eyes seemed not to have
benefited by his application, for a pair of glasses were mounted on his
nose. "This is precisely the man I want," said the slave to himself: "I
am sure he can be of no repute." So intent was he upon his work, that he
did not heed the salutation of "Peace be with you, friend!" with which
Mansouri accosted him; and when he did look up, and saw the well-dressed
personage whom he thought had spoken, he continued his work, without
making the usual reply; for he could not suppose that the salutation was
meant for such a poor devil as he.

However, finding that he was the object of the eunuch's attention, he
doffed the spectacles, threw away his work, and was about getting on his
legs, when he was stopped, and requested not to disturb himself.

"What your name?" said Mansouri.

"Abdallah," said the tailor, "at your service; but I am generally called
Babadul by my friends and the world at large."

"You are a tailor, are you not?" continued the slave.

"Yes," said the other, "I am a tailor as well as the muezzin at the
little mosque in the fish-market. What more can I do?"

"Well, Babadul," said Mansouri, "have you a mind for a job,--a good
job?"

"Am I a fool," answered the old man, "that I should dislike it? Say what
it is."

"Softly, my friend," remarked the eunuch; "we must go on slow and sure.
Will you suffer yourself to be led blindfolded at midnight wherever I
choose to take you, for a job?"

"That's another question," said Babadul; "times are critical, heads
fly in abundance, and a poor tailor's may go as well as a vizier's or a
capitan pacha's. But pay me well, and I believe I would make a suit of
clothes for Eblis, the foul fiend, himself."

"Well, then, you agree to my proposal?" said the eunuch, who at the same
time put two pieces of gold in his hand.

"Yes, most surely," said Babadul, "I agree. Tell me what I am to do, and
you may depend upon me."

Accordingly they settled between them that the eunuch was to come to the
stall at midnight, and lead him away blindfolded.

Babadul, being left alone, continued his work, wondering what could be
the job upon which he was to be so mysteriously employed; and, anxious
to make his wife partaker of the news of his good luck, he shut up his
stall earlier than usual, and went to his house, that was situated
not far from the little mosque in the fish-market, of which he was the
muezzin.

Old Dilferîb, his wife, was almost as much bent double as her husband;
and in consequence of the two gold pieces, and contemplation of more
which they expected to receive, they treated themselves to a dish of
smoking kabobs, a salad, dried grapes, and sweetmeats, after which they
consoled themselves with some of the hottest and most bitter coffee
which the old woman could make.

True to his appointment, Babadul was at his stall at midnight, where
he was as punctually met by Mansouri. Without any words, the former
permitted himself to be blindfolded, whilst the latter led him away by
the hand, making many and devious turns, until they reached the imperial
seraglio; there, stopping only to open the private iron gate, Mansouri
introduced the tailor into the very heart of the sultan's private
apartments. The bandage over his eyes was taken off in a dark chamber,
lighted up only by a small lamp, which stood on the shelf surrounding
the top of the room, but which was splendidly furnished by sofas of the
richest brocade, and by carpets of the most costly manufacture. Here
Babadul was commanded to sit, until Mansouri returned with a bundle,
wrapped in a large shawl handkerchief: this being opened, a sort of
dervish's dress was displayed to the tailor, and he was requested to
look at it, to consider how long he would be making such a one, and
then to return it again, duly folded up, to its shawl covering. In the
meanwhile, Mansouri told him to stay there until he should return to
take him away again, and then left him.

Babadul, having turned the dress over and over again, calculated
each stitch, and, come to his proper conclusions, packed it up in the
handkerchief, as he had been commanded; but no sooner had he done this
than a man of lofty demeanour and appearance, whose look made the poor
tailor shrink within himself, came into the room, took up the bundle,
and walked away with it, without uttering a single word.

A few minutes after, as Babadul was pondering over the strangeness of
his situation, and just recovering from the effects of this apparition,
a door opened in another part of the apartment, and a mysterious figure,
richly dressed, came in, bearing a bundle, equally covered with a shawl,
about the size of that which had just been taken away; and making the
lowest prostrations before the tailor, in great apparent trepidation,
approached him, placed it at his feet, kissed the ground, and retreated
without saying a word, or even looking up.

"Well," said Babadul to himself: "this may be something very fine, and
I may be some very great personage, for aught I know; but this is very
certain, that I had rather be patching my old cloak in the stall than
doing this job, however grand and lucrative it may be. Who knows what
I may have been brought here for? These comings in and goings out of
strange-looking people, apparently without tongues in their heads,
do not argue well. I wish they would give me fewer bows and a greater
supply of words, from which I might learn what I am to get by all this.
I have heard of poor women having been sewn up in sacks and thrown into
the sea. Who knows? perhaps I am destined to be the tailor on such an
occasion."

He had scarcely got thus far in his soliloquy when the slave Mansouri
re-entered the room and told him, without more words, to take up the
bundle; which having done, his eyes were again blindfolded, and he was
led to the spot from whence he came. Babadul, true to his agreement,
asked no questions, but agreed with the slave that in three days the
dress should be ready for delivery at his stall for which he was to
receive ten more pieces of gold.

Having got rid of his companion, he proceeded with all haste to his
house, where he knew his wife would be impatiently waiting his return;
and as he walked onwards he congratulated himself that at length he had
succeeded in getting indeed a job worth the having, and that his fate
had finally turned up something good for his old age. It was about two
o'clock in the morning when he reached the door of his house. He was
received by his wife with expressions of great impatience at his long
absence; but when he held up the bundle to her face, as she held up
the lamp to his, and when he said, "_Mujdeh_, give me a reward for good
news:--see, I have got my work, and a handsome reward we shall get when
it is finished," she was all smiles and good humour.

"Leave it there till we get up, and let us go to bed now," said the
tailor.

"No, no," said the wife, "I must look at what you have got before I
retire, or I shall not be able to sleep": upon which, whilst he held up
the lamp she opened the bundle. Guess, guess at the astonishment of the
tailor and his wife, when, instead of seeing a suit of clothes, they
discovered, wrapped in a napkin, in its most horrid and ghastly state, a
human head!

It fell from the old woman's hands and rolled away some paces, whilst
the horror-struck couple first hid their faces with their hands, and
then looked at each other with countenances which nothing can describe.

"Work!" cried the wife, "work, indeed! pretty work you have made of it!
Was it necessary to go so far, and to take such precautions, to bring
this misfortune on our heads? Did you bring home this dead man's head to
make a suit of clothes of?"

"_Anna senna! Baba senna!_ Curses be on his mother! Perdition seize his
father!" exclaimed the poor tailor, "for bringing me into this dilemma.
My heart misgave me as that dog of a eunuch talked of blindfolding and
silence to me: I thought, as true as I am a Turk, that the job could not
consist only in making a suit of clothes; and sure enough this dog's son
has tacked a head to it. Allah! Allah! what am I to do now? I know not
the way to his home, or else I would take it back to him immediately,
and throw it in his face. We shall have the bostangi bashi and a hundred
other bashis here in a minute, and we shall be made to pay the price of
blood; or, who knows, be hanged, or drowned, or impaled! What shall we
do, eh, Dilferîb, my soul, say?"

"Do?" said his wife; "get rid of the head, to be sure: we have no more
right to have it palmed upon us than anybody else."

"But the day will soon dawn," said the tailor, "and then it will be too
late. Let us be doing something at once."

"A thought has struck me," said the old woman. "Our neighbour, the
baker, Hassan, heats his oven at this hour, and begins soon after to
bake his bread for his morning's customers. He frequently has different
sorts of things to bake from the neighbouring houses, which are placed
near the oven's mouth over-night: suppose I put this head into one of
our earthen pots and send it to be baked; no body will find it out until
it is done, and then we need not send for it, so it will remain on the
baker's hands."

Babadul admired his wife's sagacity, and forthwith she put her plan into
execution. When the head had been placed in a baking-pan, she watched
a moment when nobody was at hand, and set it on the ground, in the same
row with the other articles that were to be inserted in Hassan's oven.
The old couple then double-barred the door of their house, and retired
to rest, comforting themselves with the acquisition of the fine shawl
and napkin in which the head had been wrapped.

The baker Hassan and his son Mahmûd were heating their oven, inserting
therein thorns, chips, and old rubbish at a great rate, when their
attention was arrested by the extraordinary whinings and barking of a
dog, that was a constant customer at the oven for stray bits of bread,
and much befriended by Hassan and his son, who were noted for being
conscientious Mussulmans.

"Look, Mahmûd," said the father to the son, "see what is the matter with
the dog: something extraordinary is in the wind."

The son did what his father bade him, and seeing no reason for the dog's
noises, said, "_Bir chey yok_, there is nothing," and drove him away.

But the howlings not ceasing, Hassan went himself, and found the dog
most extremely intent upon smelling and pointing at the tailor's pipkin.
He jumped upon Hassan, then at the pot, then upon Hassan again, until
the baker no longer doubted that the beast took great interest in its
contents. He therefore gently drew off the lid, when need I mention his
horror and surprise at seeing a human head staring him in the face?

"Allah! Allah!" cried the baker; but being a man of strong nerves,
instead of letting it fall, as most people would have done, he quietly
put on the lid again, and called his son to him.

"Mahmûd," said he, "this is a bad world, and there are bad men in it.
Some wicked infidel has sent a man's head to bake; but thanks to our
good fortune, and to the dog, our oven has been saved from pollution,
and we can go on making our bread with clean hands and clear
consciences. But since the devil is at work, let others have a visit
from him as well as ourselves. If it be known that we have had a dead
man's head to bake, who will ever employ us again? we must starve, we
must shut up our oven; we shall get the reputation of mixing up our
dough with human grease, and if perchance a hair is found, it will
immediately be said that it came from the dead man's beard."

Mahmûd, a youth of about twenty, who partook of his father's
insensibility and coolness, and who, moreover, had a great deal of dry
humour and ready wit, looked upon the incident in the light of a good
joke, and broke out into a hearty laugh when he saw the ugly picture
which the grinning head made, set in its earthen frame.

"Let us pop it into the shop of Kior Ali, the barber, opposite," said
the youth; "he is just beginning to open it, and as he has but one eye,
we shall be better able to do so without being seen. Do, father," said
Mahmûd, "let me; nobody shall discover me; and let it be done before
there is more daylight."

The father consented; and Mahmûd catching the moment when the barber had
walked to the corner of the street to perform certain ablutions, stepped
into his shop, and placed the head on a sort of takcheh, or bracket on
the wall, arranged some shaving towels about it, as if it had been a
customer ready seated to be shaved, and, with a boy's mischief in his
heart, stepped back to his oven again, to watch the effects which this
new sort of customer would have upon the blind barber.

[Illustration: O mercy! mercy! cried Kior Ali. 24.jpg]

Kior Ali hobbled into his shop, which was but ill lighted by a
glimmering of daylight that hardly pierced through the oil-papered
windows, and looking about him, saw this figure, as he supposed, seated
against the wall ready to be operated upon.

"Ha! peace be unto you!" said he to it: "you are rather early this
morning; I did not see you at first. My water is not yet hot. Oh, I
see you want your head shaved! but why do you take off your _fese_
(skull-cap) so soon? you will catch cold." Then he paused. "No answer,"
said the barber to himself. "I suppose he is dumb, and deaf too perhaps.
Well, I am half blind: so we are nearly upon equal terms: however, if I
were even to lose my other eye," addressing himself to the head, "I dare
say, my old uncle, I could shave you for all that; for my razor would
glide as naturally over your head, as a draught of good wine does over
my throat."

He went methodically about his preparations; he took down his tin basin
from a peg, prepared his soap, then stropped his razor on the long bit
of leather that was fastened to his girdle. Having made his lather, he
walked up to the supposed customer, holding the basin in his left hand,
whilst his right was extended to sprinkle the first preparation of water
on the sconce. No sooner had he placed his hand on the cold head, than
he withdrew it, as if he had been burnt. "Eh! why, what's the matter
with you, friend?" said the barber; "you are as cold as a piece of ice."
But when he attempted a second time to lather it, down it came with a
terrible bounce from the shelf to the floor, and made the poor shaver
jump quite across his shop with the fright.

"Aman! aman! O mercy, mercy!" cried Kior Ali, as he thrust himself into
the furthermost corner without daring to move: "take my shop, my razors,
my towels,--take all I have; but don't touch my life! If you are the
Shaitan, speak; but excuse my shaving you!"

But when he found that all was hushed after the catastrophe, and that
nothing was to be feared, he approached the head and taking it up by the
lock of hair at the top, he looked at it in amazement. "A head, by all
the Imâms!" said he, accosting it: "and how did you get here? Do you
want to disgrace me, you filthy piece of flesh? but you shall not!
Although Kior Ali has lost one eye, yet his other is a sharp one, and
knows what it is about. I would give you to the baker Hassan there, if
his rogue of a son, who is now looking this way, was not even sharper
than this self-same eye; but now I think of it, I will take you where
you can do no harm. The Giaour Yanaki, the Greek _kabobchi_ [80] (roast
meat man), shall have you, and shall cut you up into mincemeat for his
infidel customers." Upon this Kior Ali, drawing in one hand, in which
he carried the head, through the slit on the sides of his _beniche_, or
cloak, and taking up his pipe in the other, he walked down two streets
to the shop of the aforesaid Greek.

He frequented it in preference to that if a Mussulman, because he could
here drink wine with impunity. From long practice he knew precisely
where the provision of fresh meat was kept, and as he entered the shop,
casting his eye furtively round, he threw the head in a dark corner,
behind one of the large sides of a sheep that was to be used for the
kabobs if the day. No one saw him perform this feat; for the morning
was still sufficiently obscure to screen him. He lighted his pipe at
Yanaki's charcoal fire, and as a pretext for his visit, ordered a dish
of meat to be sent to him for breakfast; a treat to which he thought
himself fully entitled after his morning's adventure.

Yanaki, meanwhile, having cleaned his platters, put his skewers in
order, lit his fires, made his sherbets, and swept out his shop, went to
the larder for some meat for the shaver's breakfast. Yanaki was a
true Greek:--cunning, cautious, deceitful; cringing to his superiors,
tyrannical towards his inferiors; detesting with a mortal hatred his
proud masters, the Osmanlies, yet fawning, flattering, and abject
whenever any of them, however low in life, deigned to take notice of
him. Turning over his stock, he looked about for some old bits that
might serve the present purpose, muttering to himself that any carrion
was good enough for a Turk's stomach. He surveyed his half sheep from
top to bottom; felt it, and said, "No, this will keep"; but as he turned
up its fat tail, the eye of the dead man's head caught his eye, and made
him start, and step back some paces. "As ye love your eyes," exclaimed
he, "who is there?" Receiving no answer, he looked again, and again;
then nearer, then, thrusting his hand among sheep's heads and trotters,
old remnants of meat, and the like, he pulled out the head--the horrid
head--which he held extended at arm's length, as if he were afraid it
would do him mischief. "Anathemas attend your beard!" exclaimed Yanaki,
as soon as he discovered, by the tuft of hair on the top, that it had
belonged to a Mussulman, "Och! if I had but every one of your heads in
this manner, ye cursed race of Omar! I would make kabobs of them, and
every cur in Constantinople should get fat for nothing. May ye all come
to this end! May the vultures feed on your carcasses! and may every
Greek have the good fortune which has befallen me this day, of having
one of your worthless skulls for his football!" Upon which, in his rage,
he threw it down and kicked it from him; but recollecting himself he
said, "But, after all, what shall I do with it? If it is seen here, I am
lost for ever: nobody will believe but what I have killed a Turk."

[Illustration: To where the dead body of a Jew lay extended. 25.jpg]

All of a sudden he cried out, in a sort of malicious ecstasy, "'Tis well
I remembered,--the Jew! the Jew!--a properer place for such a head was
never thought or heard of; and there you shall go, thou vile remnant of
a Mahomedan!"

Upon which he seized it, and hiding it under his coat, ran with it down
the street to where the dead body of a Jew lay extended, with its head
placed immediately between its legs.

In Turkey, you must know, when a Mahomedan is beheaded, his head is
placed under his arm, by way of an honourable distinction from the
Christian or Jew, who, when a similar misfortune befalls them, have
theirs inserted between their legs, as close to the seat of dishonour as
possible.

It was in that situation then that Yanaki placed the Turk's head,
putting it as near, cheek by jowl, with the Jew's, as the hurry of the
case would allow. He had been able to effect this without being seen,
because the day was still but little advanced, and no one stirring;
and he returned to his shop, full of exultation at having been able to
discharge his feelings of hatred against his oppressors, by placing
one of their heads on the spot in nature, which, according to his
estimation, was the most teeming with opprobrium.

The unfortunate sufferer on this occasion had been accused of stealing
and putting to death a Mahomedan child (a ceremony in their religion,
which they have been known to practice both in Turkey and Persia),
and which created such an extraordinary tumult among the mob of
Constantinople, that, in order to appease it, he had been decapitated.
His execution had taken place purposely before the door of a wealthy
Greek, and the body was ordered to remain there three days before it
was permitted to be carried away for interment. The expectation that the
Greek would be induced to pay down a handsome sum, in order that this
nuisance might be removed from his door, and save him from the ill luck
which such an object is generally supposed to bring, made the officer
entrusted with the execution prefer this spot to every other. But,
careless of the consequences, the Greek shut up the windows of
his house, determined to deprive his oppressors of their expected
perquisite; and so the dead Jew remained exposed his full time. Few
excepting those of the true faith ventured to approach the spot, fearful
that the Mohamedan authorities would, in their wanton propensities to
heap insults upon the Giaours, oblige some one of them to carry the
carcass to the place of burial; and thus the horrid and disgusting
object was left abandoned to itself, and this had given an opportunity
to the kabobchi, Yanaki, to dispose of the head in the manner above
related, unseen and unmolested. But when, as the day advanced, and as
the stir of the streets became more active, this additional head was
discovered, the crowd, which gathered about it, became immense. It was
immediately rumoured that a miracle had been performed; for a dead Jew
was to be seen with two heads. The extraordinary intelligence flew from
mouth to mouth, until the whole city was in an uproar, and all were
running to see the miracle. The Sanhedrim immediately pronounced that
something extraordinary was about to happen to their persecuted race.
Rabbins were to be seen running to and fro, and their whole community
was now poured around the dead body, in expectation that he would
perhaps arise, put on his heads, and deliver them from the grip of their
oppressors.

But as ill luck would have it for them, a Janissary, who had mixed
in the crowd and had taken a close survey of the supernumerary head,
exclaimed in a mixture of doubt and amazement, "Allah, Allah, il Allah!
these are no infidel's heads. One is the head of our lord and master,
the Aga of the Janissaries." Upon which, seeing more of his companions,
he called them to him and making known his discovery, they became
violent with rage, and set off to communicate the intelligence to their
Orta.

The news spread like wildfire throughout the whole of the corps of the
Janissaries, and a most alarming tumult was immediately excited: for it
seems that it was unknown in the capital that their chief, to whom they
were devotedly attached, and one of their own selection, had been put to
death.

"What!" said they, "is it not enough to deal thus treacherously with
us, and deprive us of a chief to whom we are attached; but we must
be treated with the greatest contempt that it is possible for men to
receive? What! the head of our most noble Aga of the Janissaries to
be placed upon the most ignoble part of a Jew! what are we come to?
We alone are not insulted; the whole of Islam is insulted, degraded,
debased! No: this is unheard-of insolence, a stain never to be wiped
off, without the extermination of the whole race! And what dog has done
this deed? How did the head get there? Is it that dog of a Vizier's
work, or has the Reis Effendi and those traitors of Frank ambassadors
been at work? _Wallah, Billah, Tallah!_ by the holy Caaba, by the beard
of Osman, and by the sword of Omar, we will be revenged!"

We must leave the tumult to rage for a short time; we must request
the reader to imagine a scene, in which the Jews are flying in all
directions, hiding themselves with great precaution against enraged
Turks, who with expressions like those just mentioned in their mouths,
are to be seen walking about in groups, armed to their teeth with
pistols and scimitars, and vowing vengeance upon everything which came
in their way. He must imagine a city of narrow streets and low houses,
thronged with a numerous population, dresses the most various in shape
and the most lively in colours, all anxious, all talking, all agog as if
something extraordinary was to happen; in the midst of whom I will leave
him, to take a look into the interior of the sultan's seraglio, and
to inquire in what his eminency himself had been engaged since we last
noticed him.

On the very same night of the tailor's attendance, the sultan had given
a secret order for taking off the head of the Aga of the Janissaries
(the fomenter of all the disturbances which had lately taken place among
his corps, and consequently their idol); and so anxious was he about its
execution, that he had ordered it to be brought to him the moment it was
off. The man entrusted with the execution, upon entering the room
where he had been directed to bring the head, seeing some one seated,
naturally took him for the sultan, and, without daring to look up,
immediately placed the burden at his feet, with the prostrations which
we have ready described as having been performed before the tailor. The
sultan, who not a minute before had taken away the bundle containing
the dervish's dress, had done so in the intention of deceiving his slave
Mansouri himself; so anxious was he of being unknown in his new disguise
even to him; and intended to have substituted another in its stead;
but not calculating either upon the reception of the head, or upon
Mansouri's immediate return to the tailor, he was himself completely
puzzled how to act when he found the tailor was gone, led off by his
slave. To have sent after them would have disconcerted his schemes, and
therefore he felt himself obliged to wait Mansouri's return, before he
could get an explanation of what had happened; for he knew that they
would not have gone away without the dress, and that dress he had then
in his possession. In the meanwhile, anxious and impatient to know
what had become of the expected head, he sent for the officer who
was entrusted with the execution; and the astonishment of both may be
imagined when an explanation took place.

"By my beard!" exclaimed the sultan, having thought awhile within
himself; "by my beard, the tailor must have got the head!"

His impatience for Mansouri's return then became extreme. In vain he
fretted, fumed, and cried "Allah! Allah!" It did not make the slave
return a minute the sooner, who, good man, would have gone quietly to
rest had he not been called upon to appear before the sultan.

As soon as he was within hearing, he called out, "Ahi! Mansouri,
run immediately to the tailor--he has got the head of the Aga of the
Janissaries instead of the dervish's dress--run, fetch it without loss
of time, or something unfortunate will happen!" He then explained
how this untoward event had occurred. Mansouri now, in his turn, felt
himself greatly embarrassed; for he only knew the road to the tailor's
stall, but was totally unacquainted with his dwelling-house. However,
rather than excite his master's anxiety in a higher degree, he set off
in quest of the tailor, and went straight to his stall, in the hopes of
hearing from the neighbours where his house was. It was too early in the
day for the opening of the Bezesten, and except a coffee-house that had
just prepared for the reception of customers, where he applied and could
gain no intelligence, he found himself completely at a standstill. By
the greatest good luck, he recollected Babadul had told him that he
was the muezzin to the little mosque in the fish-market, and thither he
immediately bent his steps. The azan, or morning invitation to prayers,
was now chanting forth from all the minarets, and he expected that he
might catch the purloiner of his head in the very act of inviting the
faithful to prayers.

As he approached the spot, he heard an old broken and tremulous voice,
which he imagined might be Babadul's, breaking the stillness of the
morning by all the energy of its lungs; and he was not mistaken, for as
he stood under the minaret, he perceived the old man walking round the
gallery which encircles it, with his hand applied to the back of his
ear, and with his mouth wide open, pouring out his whole throat in the
execution of his office. As soon as the tailor saw Mansouri making signs
to him, the profession of faith stuck in his throat; and between the
fright of being brought to account for the head, and the words which he
had to pronounce, it is said that he made so strange a jumble, that some
of the stricter Mussulmans, his neighbours, who were paying attention to
the call, professed themselves quite scandalized at his performance. He
descended with all haste, and locking the door after him which leads up
the winding staircase, he met Mansouri in the street. He did not wait
to be questioned respecting the fate of the horrid object, but at once
attacked the slave concerning the trick, as he called it, which had been
put upon him.

"Are you a man," said he, "to treat a poor Emir like me in the manner
you have done, as if my house was a charnel-house? I suppose you will
ask me the price of blood next!"

"Friend," said Mansouri, "what are you talking about? do not you see
that it has been a mistake?"

"A mistake, indeed!" cried the tailor, "a mistake done on purpose to
bring a poor man into trouble. One man laughs at my stupid beard, and
makes me believe that I am to make a suit of clothes for him--another
takes away the pattern--and a third substitutes a dead man's head for
it. Allah! Allah! I have got into the hands of a pretty nest of rogues,
a set of ill-begotten knaves!"

Upon which Mansouri placed his hand upon the tailor's mouth, and said,
"Say no more, say no more; you are getting deeper into the dirt. Do you
know whom you are abusing."

"I know not, nor care not," answered Babadul; "all I know is that
whoever gives me a dead man's head for a suit of clothes can only be an
infidel dog."

"Do you call God's viceregent upon earth, you old demi-stitching,
demi-praying fool, an infidel dog?" exclaimed Mansouri in a rage, which
entirely made him forget the precaution he had hitherto maintained
concerning his employer. "Are your vile lips to defile the name of him
who is the _Alem penah_, the refuge of the world? What dirt are you
eating, what ashes are you heaping on your head? Come, no more words;
tell me where the dead man's head is, or I will take yours of in his
stead."

Upon hearing this, the tailor stood with his mouth wide open, as if the
doors of his understanding had just been unlocked.

"_Aman, aman,_ Mercy, mercy, O Aga!" cried Babadul to Mansouri, "I was
ignorant of what I was saying. Who would have thought it? Ass, fool,
dolt, that I am, not to have known better. _Bismillah!_ in the name or
the Prophet, pray come to my house; your steps will be fortunate, and
your slave's head will touch the stars."

"I am in a hurry, a great hurry," said Mansouri. "Where is the head, the
head of the Aga of the Janissaries?"

When the tailor heard whose head it had been, and recollected what he
and his wife had done with it, his knees knocked under him with fear,
and he began to exude from every pore.

"Where is it, indeed?" said he. "Oh! what has come upon us! Oh! what
cursed _kismet_ (fate) is this?"

"Where is it?" exclaimed the slave, again and again, "where is it? speak
quick!"

The poor tailor was completely puzzled what to say, and kept floundering
from one answer to another until he was quite entangled as in a net.

"Have you burnt it?"

"No."

"Have you thrown it away?"

"No."

"Then in the name of the Prophet what have you done with it? Have you
ate it."

"No."

"Is it lying in your house?"

"No."

"Is it hiding at any other person's house?"

"No."

Then at last quite out of patience, the slave Mansouri took Babadul by
his beard, and shaking his head for him, exclaimed with a roar, "Then
tell me, you old dotard! what is it doing?"

"It is baking," answered the tailor, half choked: "I have said it."

"Baking! did you say?" exclaimed the slave, in the greatest amazement;
"what did you bake it for? Are you going to eat it?"

"True, I said: what would you have more?" answered Babadul, "it is now
baking." And then he gave a full account of what he and his wife had
done in the sad dilemma in which they had been placed.

"Show me the way to the baker's," said Mansouri; "at least, we will get
it in its singed state, if we can get it in no other. Whoever thought of
baking the head of the Aga of the Janissaries? _Allah il allah!_"

They then proceeded to the baker Hassan's, who was now about taking his
bread from his oven. As soon as he became acquainted with their errand,
he did not hesitate in telling all the circumstances attending the
transmission of the head from the pipkin to the barber's bracket; happy
to have had an opportunity of exculpating himself of what might possibly
have been brought up against him as a crime.

The three (Mansouri, the tailor, and the baker) then proceeded to the
barber's, and inquired from him what he had done with the head of his
earliest customer.

Kior Ali, after some hesitation, made great assurances that he
looked upon this horrid object as a donation from Eblis himself, and
consequently that he had thought himself justified in transferring it
over to the Giaour Yanaki, who, he made no doubt, had already made his
brother-infidels partake of it in the shape of kabobs. Full of wonder
and amazement, invoking the Prophet at each step, and uncertain as to
the result of such unheard-of adventures, they then added the barber to
their party, and proceeded to Yanaki's cook-shop.

The Greek, confounded at seeing so many of the true believers enter his
house, had a sort of feeling that their business was not of roast meat,
but that they were in search of meat of a less savoury nature. As soon
as the question had been put to him concerning the head, he stoutly
denied having seen it, or knowing anything at all concerning it.

The barber showed the spot where he had placed it, and swore it upon the
Koran.

Mansouri had undertaken the investigation of the point in question, when
they discovered symptoms of the extraordinary agitation that prevailed
in the city in consequence of the discovery which had been made of the
double-headed Jew, and of the subsequent discovery that had produced
such great sensation among the whole corps of Janissaries.

Mansouri, followed by the tailor, the baker, and the barber, then
proceeded to the spot where the dead Israelite was prostrate; and there,
to their astonishment, they each recognized their morning visitor--the
head so long sought after.

Yanaki, the Greek, in the meanwhile, conscious of what was likely to
befall him, without loss of time gathered what money he had ready at
hand, and fled the city.

"Where is the Greek?" said Mansouri, turning round to look for him in
the supposition that he had joined his party; "we must all go before the
sultan."

"I dare say he is run off," said the barber. "I am not so blind but I
can see that he it is who gifted the Jew with his additional head."

Mansouri now would have carried off the head; but surrounded as it was
by a band of enraged and armed soldiers, who vowed vengeance upon him
who had deprived them of their chief, he thought it most prudent to
withdraw. Leading with him his three witnesses, he at once proceeded to
the presence of his master.

When Mansouri had informed the sultan of all that had happened, where he
had found the head of the Aga of the Janissaries, how it had got there,
and of the tumult it had raised, the reader may better imagine than I
can describe the state of the monarch's mind. To tell the story with all
its particulars he felt would be derogatory to his dignity, for it was
sure to cover him with ridicule; but at the same time to let the matter
rest as it now stood was impossible, because the tumult would increase