than would be sufficient to throw the most faithful lady's woman into
disgrace: and yet they are kept."

"Tho', according to madam, they are good for nothing but that," added
the Sultan.

"Prince," said Mirzoza, "we stick to our fancies, and the keeping of
dogs must be one, like many others, which would be no longer fancies,
if we could give a reason for them. The reign of monkeys is past,
the parrots still support themselves. Dogs fell, and now they rise
again. Squirrels have had their time: and it is with animals, as it has
successively been with Italian, English, geometry, farthingales, and
furbela's."

"Mirzoza," replied the Sultan, shaking his head, "has not all the
knowledge that may be acquired on this subject; and the Toys----"

"Is not your highness going to imagine," said the favorite, "that you
will be inform'd by Haria's Toy, why that woman, who saw her son, one
of her daughters, and her husband, die without shedding a tear, wept
the loss of her lap-dog for a whole fortnight."

"Why not?" replied Mangogul.

"Truly," says Mirzoza, "if our Toys could explain all our whims, they
would be more knowing than ourselves."

"Pray, who disputes that with you?" replied the Sultan. "For my part
I believe that the Toy makes a woman do a hundred things, without her
perceiving it: and I have remark'd on more occasions than one, that a
woman, who thought she was following her head, was obeying her Toy. A
great philosopher placed the soul, I mean ours, in the pineal gland. If
I allowed women to have one, I well know where I would place it."

"I excuse you from informing me," rejoin'd Mirzoza hastily. "But you
will permit me at least," said Mangogul, "to communicate some notions
to you, which my ring has suggested to me concerning women, upon a
supposition that they have a soul. The experiments, which I have made
with my ring, have made me a great moralist. I have neither the wit
of La Bruyere, nor the logic of Port Royal, nor the imagination of
Montaigne, nor the wisdom of Charron: but I have collected facts, to
which perhaps they were strangers."

"Speak, prince," answered Mirzoza ironically, "I will hear you with
all my ears. Moral essays of a Sultan of your age must be something
curious."

"The system of Orcotomus is extravagant, with the leave of his fellow
academician Hiragu: yet I find some sense in the answers which he gave
to the objections started against it. If I allowed a soul to women,
I would willingly suppose with him, that Toys have spoken from the
beginning, but softly: and that the effect of the Genius Cucufa's ring
is reduced to raising their voice. Upon this foundation nothing can be
more easy than to define the whole sex.

"The sober woman, for example, would be she whose Toy is silent, or is
not attended to.

"The prude, she who pretends not to listen to her Toy.

"The intriguing woman, she whose Toy desires a great deal, and who
allows it too much.

"The voluptuous, she who gives ear to her Toy with complaisance.

"The courtezan, she on whom her Toy is making demands every moment, and
who refuses it nothing.

"The coquette, she whose Toy is mute, or is not attended to; but who
gives hopes to all the men that come near her, that her Toy will speak
one day or other, and it may happen that she will not lend it a deaf
ear.

"Well, delight of my soul, what do you think of my definitions?" "I
think," said the favorite, "that your highness has forgot the tender
woman."

"If I have not mentioned her," answered the Sultan, "'tis because I
don't know what the term means; and that some able men pretend, that
the word tender, abstracting from all connection with the Toy, is void
of sense."

"How, void of sense," cried Mirzoza. "What! there is no medium then;
and a woman must absolutely be a prude, an intriguer, a coquette, a
voluptuous woman, or a libertin."

"Delight of my soul," said the Sultan, "I am willing to own the
inaccuracy of my enumeration, and will add the tender woman to the
preceding characters; but on condition that you will furnish me with a
definition of her, which will not coincide with any of mine."

"Most willingly," said Mirzoza. "I hope to compass it without quitting
your system."

"Let us see," added Mangogul.

"Well then," replied the favorite--"a tender woman is she----"

"Courage, Mirzoza," said Mangogul.

"Oh! I beg you won't disturb me. The tender woman is she----who has
loved without a word utter'd by her Toy, or----whose Toy has never
spoke, but in favor of the single man whom she loved."

It would not have been polite in the Sultan to chicane the favorite,
and ask her what she understood by love: wherefore he avoided it.
Mirzoza took his silence for consent, and proceeded, proud of
having extricated herself from a difficulty, which to her appeared
considerable. "Ye men believe, because we do not argue in form, that
we do not reason. Know once for all, that we could as easily discover
the falsity of your paradoxes, as ye that of our reasonings, if we
would give ourselves the trouble. If your highness was less in a hurry
to satisfy your curiosity on the subject of lap-dogs, I would in my
turn give you a scrap of my philosophy. But it shall not be lost: I
will reserve it for one of those days, that you will have more time to
bestow on me."

Mangogul assured her that he had no better business, than to profit of
her philosophical notions; that the metaphysics of a Sultana of twenty
two, ought not to be less singular than the morals of a Sultan of his
age.

But Mirzoza apprehending that this was pure complaisance in Mangogul,
begg'd some time to prepare, and thus gave the Sultan a pretext for
flying whither his impatience might call him.

CHAP. XXIII.

_Tenth trial of the Ring._

The Dogs.

Mangogul went immediately to Haria's house; and as he took pleasure
in soliloquy, he said within himself: "This woman never goes to bed
without her four dogs, and either Toys know nothing of those animals,
or her's will give me some account of them; for, thank God, 'tis well
known that she loves her dogs to admiration." At the end of this
monology he found himself in Haria's anti-chamber, and his olfactory
organ already informed him of madam having her usual company in bed
with her. These were a little shag-dog, a spaniel, and two pug-dogs.
The Sultan drew out his snuff-box, took two pinches of Spanish by way
of preservative, and approached Haria. She was asleep, but the pack,
who were upon the watch, hearing some noise, fell to barking, and woke
her. "Peace, my children," said she, but in so mild a tone, that she
could not be suspected of speaking to her daughters, "go to sleep, go
to sleep, and don't disturb my rest nor your own."

Haria was formerly young and pretty. She had had lovers of her own
rank, but they all disappear'd even sooner than her charms. By way
of comforting herself for this desertion, she gave into a whimsical
sort of pomp, and her footmen were the handsomest fellows in Banza.
She grew older and older, and years threw her into oeconomy: she
restrained herself to four dogs and two Bramins, and became a model of
edification. And surely the most envenom'd satyr could find no room to
carp at this management; and for above ten years Haria was in peaceful
possession of a high reputation of virtue, and of those animals. Nay,
her tenderness for the pug-dogs was so well known, that the Bramins
were no longer suspected of sharing it.

Haria renewed her intreaty to those beasts, and they had the
complaisance to obey. Then Mangogul applied his ring, and the
superannuated Toy set about relating the last of its adventures. It was
such a vast while since the first were atchieved, that it had almost
lost the very remembrance of them. "Withdraw, Pompey," it said with a
hoarse voice, "you fatigue me. I like Dido better; I find her more
gentle." Pompey, who was absolutely ignorant of the Toy's voice, went
on in his own way: but Haria awaking, continued. "Get away, then, you
little rogue, you hinder me from taking rest. That is well some times:
but too much is too much." Pompey withdrew. Dido took his place, and
Haria fell asleep.

Mangogul, who had suspended the energy of his ring, turn'd it on, and
the antiquated Toy, uttering a deep, sigh, fell to jabbering, and said:
"Alas! how I am grieved for the death of my large grey-hound; she was
the best little wife, the most caressing creature: she never ceased
giving amusement. She was so sensible, so genteel. Ye are but beasts
in comparison of her. That naughty master of mine killed her.----Poor
Zinzolina, I never think of her, without watering my plants. I
thought it would have been the death of my mistress. She neither eat
nor drank for two days, and narrowly escaped losing her senses. Judge
of her sorrow: her director, her friends, nay her very pug-dogs were
kept from me. Orders were issued to her women to refuse the door
of her appartment to my master, under the penalty of being turn'd
off.----'That monster has robb'd me of my dear Zinzolina,' cried she;
'let him not appear before me, I am resolved never to see him more.'"

Mangogul, curious of learning the circumstances of Zinzolina's death,
revived the electrical power of his ring by rubbing it on the skirt
of his doublet, pointed it at Haria, and the Toy resumed: "Haria,
Ramadec's widow, coiffed herself with Sindor. This youth was of good
birth, had no other fortune, but a certain merit which pleases the sex,
and was, after dogs, Haria's predominant taste. Sindor's indigence
conquered his repugnance to Haria's years and dogs. Twenty thousand
crowns a year blinded his eyes with regard to the wrinkles of his
mistress, and the inconveniency of the pug-dogs; and he married her.

"He was in hopes of getting the better of our beasts by his talents,
and complaisant behavior; and to bring them into disgrace from the very
commencement of his reign; but he was deceived. After the expiration of
some months, when he thought he had merited much by his services; he
took into his head to remonstrate to madam, that her dogs were not as
good company in bed for him as for her; that it was ridiculous to have
more than three; and that to admit more than one at a time, was turning
the nuptial bed into a kennel.

"'I advise you,' said Haria, in a furious tone, 'to attack me with such
speeches. Truly it well becomes a pitiful younger son from Gascony,
whom I have taken from a garret, which was not good enough for my dogs,
to give himself airs of nicety! To be sure, your sheets were perfumed,
my little squire, when you dwelt in furnish'd lodgings. Know this once
for all, that my dogs were long before you in possession of my bed, and
that you may choose either to quit it, or be content to share it with
them.'

"The declaration was peremptory, and our dogs remain'd masters of
their post. But one night, as we were all asleep, Sindor, in turning
unluckily kick'd Zinzolina. The hound, not used to such treatment,
bit the calf of his leg; and madam was immediately awaked by Sindor's
cries. 'What is the matter with you, Sir, one would think your throat
was cutting: you dream.' 'It is your dogs, madam, that devour me, and
your grey-hound has just torn off a piece of my leg.' 'Is that all?'
says Haria, turning from him. 'You make a vast noise for nothing.'

"Sindor, piqued at this discourse, jump'd out of bed, swearing that
he would never set his foot in it again, till the pack was banish'd
thence. He employ'd friends, in order to obtain the exile of the dogs:
but they all failed in that important negotiation. Haria's answer to
them was, that Sindor was a knight of the post, whom she had drawn
out of a cock-loft, which he shared with rats and mice; that it ill
became him to be so nice; that he slept the whole night long; that
she loved her dogs; that they amused her; that from her infancy she
had taken a liking to their caresses; and that she was resolved never
to deprive herself of them till death. 'Tell him besides,' continued
she, addressing the mediators, 'that if he does not humbly submit to
my will, he will repent it while he lives; that I will retract the
donation I have made him, and will add it to the sums which I have
bequeathed by my will, for the support of my dear children.'

"Between you and me," added the Toy, "Sindor must have been a great
fool, to hope that she would do for him, what could not be obtained
by twenty lovers, a director, a confessor, with a legion of Bramins,
who had all lost their Latin on that head. Mean while, as often as
Sindor met our animals, he was seized with such fits of passion, as he
could hardly conquer. One day the unfortunate Zinzolina fell in his
way. He took her by the neck, and threw her out of the window. The poor
creature was kill'd by the fall. Then it was, that a fine noise was
made. Haria, with inflamed countenance, and eyes bathed in tears----"

The Toy was going to repeat what it had already told; for Toys
willingly fall into repetitions: but Mangogul cut its words short.
Its silence was not of long duration: when the prince thought he had
put this doting Toy out of its road, he restored it the freedom of
speech; and the Tatler, bursting out into a loud laugh, resumed by
way of recollection: "But _à propos_, I forgot to tell you what pass'd
on Haria's wedding-night. I have seen a power of ridiculous things in
my life, but never one that came up to this. After a splendid supper,
the bride and bridegroom were conduced to their appartment. Every body
retired except madam's women who undress her: she is undress'd, put to
bed, and Sindor alone remains with her. Observing that the shag-dog,
the two pugs, and the grey-hound, more alert than himself, were taking
possession of his bride; 'permit me, madam,' he said, 'to remove these
rivals a little.' 'My dear, do what you can,' answered Haria: 'for my
part, I have not the courage to drive them away; these little animals
are so attached to me; and I have been so long without any other
company.' 'Perhaps,' replied Sindor, 'they will have the politeness
this night to surrender the fort to me, which I must take possession
of.' 'Try, sir,' said Haria.

"At first Sindor tried gentle means, and pray'd Zinzolina to retire
to a corner. But the untractable animal fell to growling: the allarm
spread among the rest of the troop; and the pug-dogs and shag-dog
bark'd as if their mistress's throat was cutting. Sindor, losing all
patience at this noise, tosses away one of the pugs, drives off the
other, and seizes Pompey by the paw. Pompey, the faithful Pompey,
abandoned by his allies, endeavour'd to repair this loss by the
advantages of the post. Fix'd on his mistress's thighs, with eyes
inflamed, hair standing an end, and open mouth, he grin'd, and shew'd
the enemy two rows of very sharp teeth. Sindor made several assaults
on him, and Pompey repell'd him as often, with bitten fingers and torn
ruffles. The action lasted above a quarter of an hour with an obstinacy
which gave diversion to none but Haria; when Sindor had recourse to a
stratagem against an enemy, whom he despaired conquering by force. He
provoked Pompey with the right hand. Pompey watching this motion, did
not observe that of the left, and was seized by the neck. He made most
vigorous efforts to disengage himself, but in vain. He was obliged
to quit the field of battle, and surrender up Haria. Sindor took
possession of her, but not without effusion of blood: in all likelihood
Haria had resolved that her wedding-night should be a bloody one: her
animals made a good defence, and disappointed not her expectations."

"There," says Mangogul, "is a Toy, that could write a Gazette better
than my secretary." And now well knowing what notions to form of lap
dogs, he return'd to the favorite.

"Prepare yourself," said he, as soon as he saw her, "to hear the most
extravagant things in the world. 'Tis much worse than the baboons of
Palabria. Could you believe, that Haria's four dogs were the rivals,
and the preferred rivals of her husband; and that the death of a
greyhound has raised a quarrel between that couple, never to be made
up."

"What do you say," replied the favorite, "of rivals and dogs. I am
quite in the dark. I know that Haria loves her dogs excessively; but
I know at the same time that Sindor is a hot-temper'd man, who perhaps
did not use all that complaisance, which women require, to whom a man
owes his fortune. But yet, whatever has been his conduct, I cannot
conceive that it has drawn rivals on him. Haria is so venerable, that
I could wish your highness would vouchsafe to explain yourself more
intelligibly."

"Listen," says Mangogul, "and agree that women have excessively
whimsical tastes, to say nothing worse;" then he related Haria's
history to her word for word, as the Toy had told it. Mirzoza could
not refrain from laughter at the first night's battle: but presently
resuming a serious air: "I can't tell," said she to Mangogul, "what
indignation seizes me. I shall have an aversion for these animals and
all those who keep any, and I shall declare to my women that I will
turn off the first, who shall be even suspected of having a lap-dog."

"Pray," replied the Sultan, "why will you extend your hatred so far?
You women are always upon extremes. These animals are good for hunting,
are necessary in the country, and have many other uses, without
reckoning that which Haria makes of them."

"In truth," said Mirzoza, "I begin to believe that your highness will
find it a difficult task to light on a virtuous woman."

"I told you so," answered Mangogul; "but let us not be over hasty:
you may one time or other upbraid me with being indebted to your want
of patience for a declaration, which I pretend to owe entirely to the
trials of my ring. I have some in my mind, which will astonish you.
All secrets are not yet unveiled; and I expect to draw more important
discoveries from those Toys, which remain to be consulted."

Mirzoza was in perpetual apprehensions for her own. Mangogul's
discourse threw her into such uneasiness, as she was not able to
conceal from him: but the Sultan, who had bound himself by an oath,
and in his heart had a regard for religion, used his best endeavours
to calm her mind, gave her some very tender kisses, and went to his
council, whither affairs of moment called him.

CHAP. XXIV.

_Eleventh trial of the Ring._

The Pensions.

Congo had been disturbed by bloody wars in the reigns of Kanaglou and
Erguebzed; and those two monarchs had immortalized themselves by the
conquests they had made over their neighbours. The emperors of Abex and
Angola look'd on the youth of Mangogul and the beginning of his reign,
as favourable conjunctures to recover the provinces that had been taken
from them. Wherefore they declared war against Congo, and attacked it
on every side. Mangogul had the best council in all Africa: and old
Sambuco and the Emir Mirzala, who were train'd up in the former wars,
were placed at the head of the troops, gain'd victories on victories,
and formed generals capable of succeeding them; an advantage of greater
importance than even their successes.

Thanks to the activity of the council, and the good conduct of the
generals, the enemy, who thought themselves sure of overcoming the
empire, did not advance as far as the frontiers, made a poor defence of
their own, and saw their fortified towns and provinces ravaged. But,
such constant and glorious successes notwithstanding, Congo grew weaker
by aggrandizing itself: the frequent raising of troops unpeopled the
towns and country: and the treasury was exhausted.

The sieges and battles had cost a vast number of lives: the grand
Visir, very lavish of the blood of the soldiery, was accused of
having hazarded battles that tended to nothing. Every family was in
mourning: not one, but wept a father, a brother, or a friend. The
number of officers slain was prodigious; and could be compared to
naught but their wives, who sollicited pensions. The closets of the
ministers were beset with them. They pestered the Sultan himself with
petitions, in which the merit and services of the deceased, the grief
of their widows, the dismal condition of their children, and other
moving motives were not forgotten. Nothing seemed more equitable than
their requests: but on what fund to ground pensions which amounted to
millions?

The ministers, after having exhausted speeches, and sometimes
peevishness and rough language, were obliged to deliberate on the means
of bringing this affair to a final issue: but they had an excellent
reason for concluding nothing: there was not a penny left.

Mangogul, tired with the false reasonings of his ministers and the
lamentations of the widows, hit upon the expedient, which his ministry
had been so long hunting after. "Gentlemen," said he to his council, "I
am of opinion that, before any pensions are granted, it would be proper
to examine if they are lawfully due." "This examination," answered the
great Seneschal, "will be immense, and of prodigious discussion. Yet
how to resist the clamors and persecution of these women, by whom you,
sir, are particularly teazed?" "It will not be as difficult a talk as
you imagine, Mr. Seneschal," replied the Sultan; "and I promise you
that by to morrow noon the whole affair shall be terminated, by the
laws of the strictest equity. Do you only bring them to my audience
chamber by nine in the morning."

The council broke up, the Seneschal went into his office, pondered
profoundly, and drew up the following proclamation; which in three
hours time was printed, published by sound of trumpet, and fixed up at
all the most public places of Banza.

 By the Sultan's most excellent majesty, and my lord the grand
 Seneschal,

 We Gander-beak, grand Seneschal of Congo, visir of the first bench,
 train-bearer to the great Manimonbanda, chief and super-intendant of
 the sweepers of the divan, give notice, that to-morrow morning at nine
 of the clock, the magnanimous Sultan will give audience to the widows
 of the officers slain in his service, in order to decree, on sight of
 their pretensions, what to him shall seem meet. Given at our office
 the twelfth of the moon of Regeb, in the year 147200000009.

All the distressed women of Congo, and a great number of them there
was, did not fail to read the proclamation, or to send their footmen to
read it; and less still to be at the appointed hour, in the lobby of
the audience chamber. "In order to avoid a crowd, let no more enter,"
said the Sultan, "than six of these ladies at once. When we have heard
them, let them pass thro' the back door, which leads to the outward
courts. You, gentlemen, be attentive, and pronounce on their demands."

This said, he made a signal to the first gentleman usher of the
audiences; and the six, who happen'd to be next the door, were
introduced. They entered in long mourning robes, and made low
reverences to his highness. Mangogul addressed the youngest and
handsomest of them, whose name was Ifec. "Madam," said he, "how long
is it since you have lost your husband?" "Three months," answered Ifec
weeping. "He was lieutenant general in your highness's service. He was
kill'd in the last battle, and six children are the only legacy he left
me"--"He left you?" interrupted a voice, which, tho' issuing from Ifec,
was not exactly in the same tone with her's. "Madam knows better than
she says. They were all begun and finished by a young Bramin, who daily
came to comfort her, while my master was in the field."

'Tis easy to guess, whence proceeded the indiscreet voice, which
pronounced this answer. Poor Ifec, being put out of countenance,
grew pale, trembled, fainted. "Madam is subject to the vapors," said
Mangogul with an air of tranquillity: "let her be carried into an
appartment of the Seraglio, and be taken care of." Then immediately
addressing Phenice: "Madam," said he, "was not your husband a Pacha?"
"Yes, sir," answered Phenice in a trembling voice. "And how have you
lost him?" "Sir, he died in his bed, quite exhausted with the fatigues
of the last campaign"--"With the fatigues of the last campaign,"
replied Phenice's Toy. "Go, madam, your husband brought a firm and
vigorous state of health from the camp; and he would still enjoy it,
had not two or three scoundrel players,--you understand me, take care
of yourself." "Write," says the Sultan, "that Phenice demands a
pension, for the good services, which she has rendered to the state and
her husband."

A third was interrogated on her husband's age and name, who was said
to have died in the army of the small-pox. "Of the small pox," said
the Toy, "a fine story indeed: say, madam, of two good strokes of a
scymeter which he received from the Sangiac Cavaglio, because he took
it ill, that his eldest son was said to be as like the Sangiac, as one
egg is to another: and madam knows as well as I," added the Toy, "that
a likeness was never better grounded."

The fourth was going to speak without being interrogated by Mangogul,
when her Toy was heard to cry out from the lower regions, that these
ten years part, which the war had lasted, she had made pretty good use
of her time; that two pages and a huge scoundrel of a footman had
supplied her husband's place; and that without doubt she designed the
pension, which she was solliciting, for keeping an actor of the comic
opera.

A fifth stept forward with intrepidity, and with an air of confidence
demanded the reward of her late husband's services, who was an aga of
the Janissaries, and lost his life under the walls of Matatras. The
Sultan turn'd his ring on her, but to no purpose. Her Toy was mute. "I
must own," says the African author, who had seen her, "that she was
so ugly, that the by-standers would be astonished, if her Toy had any
thing to say."

Mangogul was got to the sixth, and here are the express words of
her Toy. "Truly, it well becomes madam," meaning her, whose Toy was
obstinately silent, "to sollicite pensions, while she lives upon the
poule, keeps a breland table which brings her in three thousand sequins
a year, makes private suppers at the expence of the gamesters, and
received six hundred sequins from Osman, to draw me to one of these
suppers, where the treacherous Osman----"

"Due regard shall be paid to your petitions, ladies," said the Sultan:
"for the present ye may withdraw." Then directing his words to his
counsellors, he ask'd them, if it did not seem ridiculous to them to
grant pensions to a herd of little bastards of Bramins and others, and
to women whose employment it was to dishonor brave men, who had enter'd
into his service in quest of glory, at the expence of their lives.

The Seneschal stood up, answered, declaimed, resumed, and gave his
opinion obscurely as usual. While he was yet speaking, Ifec recovered
from her fit, quite enraged at her adventure; and, as she expected no
pension for herself, and would run distracted, if any other obtain'd
one, which would have happened in all likelihood, she went directly
into the antichamber, and whispered to two or three of her female
friends, that they were summoned thither purely to hear their Toys
chatter; that she herself heard one deliver horrid things in the
audience chamber; that she would not name it for the world; but that
they must be fools, to expose themselves to the same danger.

This advice passed from hand to hand, and dispersed the crowd of
widows. When the gentleman usher opened the door to let in a second
parcel, not one was there. "Well, Seneschal, will you believe me
another time?" said Mangogul informed of the desertion, to the good
man, clapping him on the shoulder. "I promised to rid you of these
female weepers, and I have done it. Yet they were very assiduous in
making court to you, notwithstanding your fourscore and fifteen years
of age. But whatever pretensions you may possibly have: for I am not
ignorant of the facility you had to form pretensions on these ladies,
I fancy you are obliged to me for their retreat. They gave you more
_embarras_ than pleasure."

The African author informs us, that the remembrance of this trial is
kept up in Congo; and for that reason it is, that the government is so
sparing of granting pensions: but this was not the only good effect of
Cucufa's ring, as we shall see in the following chapter.

CHAP. XXV.

_Twelfth Trial of the Ring._

A Law Case.

Rapes were severely punished in Congo: and there happened a most
notorious one in Mangogul's reign. This prince, at his accession to the
crown, had sworn, like all his predecessors, never to grant a pardon
for that crime: but be laws ever so severe, they seldom curb those,
whom a considerable advantage urges to infringe them. The criminal was
condemned to lose that part of him, by which he had sinned; a cruel
operation, of which he generally died; as the person who performed it,
used less precaution than B----ll.

Kerfael, a young man of a good family, had now languished six months
in a dungeon, waiting for the day of execution. Fatme, a young
pretty woman, was his Lucretia and accuser. Every body knew, that
they had been very well together: Fatme's indulgent husband took no
exceptions against it: therefore it would be ungenteel in the public to
intermeddle in their affairs.

After an undisturbed commerce of two years, whether thro' inconstancy
or disgust, Kerfael took to a dancer at the opera of Banza, and grew
cold towards Fatme, yet without coming to an open rupture. He resolved
to make a decent retreat; which obliged him to continue his visits in
the house. Fatme enraged for being thus forsaken, meditated revenge,
and made use of this remnant of his assiduities to destroy her
unfaithful lover.

One day, that the convenient husband had left them _tête à tête_, and
that Kerfael, having ungirt his scymeter, was endeavouring to allay
Fatme's suspicions by protestations, which cost nothing to lovers,
but never surprize the credulity of a jealous woman; she assumed
an affrighted air, and having tore her dress at five or six pulls,
shriek'd out horridly, and call'd to her husband and domestics for
help; who ran immediately, and became witnesses to the injury, which
Fatme said she received from Kerfael; and shewing the scymeter, added:
"This the infamous villain lifted at my head ten times to make me
submit to his will."

The young man, struck dumb at the blackness of the accusation, had not
power either to answer or make his escape. He was seiz'd, dragg'd
to prison, and deliver'd up to justice and the prosecution of the
Cadilesker.

The laws ordained that Fatme should be visited. Accordingly she was;
and the report of the matrons proved very unfavourable to the accused.
They had an original standard, by which they could determine the
condition of a violated woman; and every circumstance concurred against
Kerfael. The judges examined him, Fatme was confronted with him, and
the evidence was heard. In vain did he plead innocence, deny the fact,
and demonstrate by the commerce which he held with his accuser above
two years, that she was not a woman to be ravished. The circumstance of
the scymeter, the _tête à tête_ solitude, Kerfael's confusion at the
sight of the husband and domestics; taken all together formed, in the
opinion of the judges, violent presumptions. Fatme on her side, far
from owning that she had granted him favors, would not even allow that
she gave him the least glimmering of hopes; and maintain'd that her
obstinate adherence to her duty, from which she had never flinch'd, was
without doubt what urged Kerfael to acquire by force, what he despair'd
obtaining by craft. The verbal process drawn up by the commissaries
was another terrible piece. Nothing more was requisite, than to run
it over, and compare it with the articles of the Criminal Code, to
read unhappy Kerfael's condemnation therein. He lost all expectations
of life either by his defence, or the credit of his family; the
magistrates had fixed the definitive sentence to the thirteenth of
the month of Rebeg: and this was even published by sound of trumpet,
according to custom.

This affair became the topic of conversations, and people were divided
upon it for a good while. Some old hags, who had always been very safe
from any apprehensions of a rape, ran about crying: "That Kerfael's
attack was enormous; that unless a severe example were made of him,
innocence would be no longer in security; and that an honest woman
would be exposed to insults, even at the horns of the Altar." Then
they cited instances of little impertinent puppies having attack'd the
virtue of several respectable ladies: and the circumstances left no
room to doubt, but that those respectable ladies mentioned by them were
themselves: and all these speeches were made to Bramins less innocent
than Kerfael, and by devotes as chaste as Fatme, by way of edifying
conversations.

The _Petits-Maitres_ on the contrary, and even some
_Petites-Maitresses_, asserted that a rape was a chimæra, that a
woman never surrendered but by capitulation; and that, if a fort was
defended, tho' ever so little, it was absolutely impossible to take
it by storm. Examples were alledged in support of this reasoning: the
women knew some; the _Petits-Maitres_ invented others; and there was
no end of quoting instances of women, who had not been ravished. "Poor
Kerfael," said they, "what the devil had he in his head, to take to
little Bimbreloqua," which was the dancer's name, "why did he not stick
to Fatme? They were extremely well together, and the husband left them
at full liberty: what a blessing----Those witches the matrons put on
their spectacles to no purpose, for they saw nothing. And indeed,
who is the person that can see clear in that place? And besides, the
senators are going to deprive him of his joy, for having burst an open
door. The poor lad will die of it, no doubt. After that, pray consider,
what will not dissatisfied women be authorized to do."----"If this
execution takes place," interrupted another, "I will make myself a free
mason."

Mirzoza, naturally compassionate, remonstrated to Mangogul, who was
joking her on Kerfael's case, that if the laws spoke against Kerfael,
good sense deposed against Fatme. "Moreover," added she, "it has never
been heard, that, in a wise government, the letter of the law should be
so closely adhered to, that the simple allegation of a female accuser
should be sufficient to endanger the life of a subject. The reality of
a rape cannot be too clearly proved; and you will allow, Sir, that
this fact is as much at least within the province of your ring as of
your senators. It would be very singular, that the matrons should be
more knowing on this head than the Toys themselves. Hitherto your
highness's ring has done little more than satisfy your curiosity. Might
not the Genius, from whom you had it, have intended some more important
end? If you employ it for the discovery of truth, and the happiness
of your subjects, can you think the Genius will be offended? Try. You
are in possession of an infallible method of drawing from Fatme a
confession of her crime, or a proof of her innocence." "You are in the
right," replied Mangogul, "and you shall be satisfied."

The Sultan departed immediately: and indeed there was no time to
lose: for it was the night of the twelfth of the moon Rebeg, and the
senate was to pronounce sentence on the thirteenth. Fatme was just
got into bed, the curtains were not quite closed. A night taper threw
a dull light on her countenance. The Sultan thought her beautiful,
notwithstanding the violent commotions which disfigured her. Compassion
and hatred, grief and revenge, audaciousness and shame were painted
in her eyes, according as they succeeded each other in her heart.
She uttered deep sighs, shed tears, wiped them off, shed fresh ones,
remained some moments with her head drooping and eyes dejected, then
suddenly raised them, and darted furious looks towards the heavens.
What was Mangogul doing all this time? He was talking to himself, and
saying. "These are the symptoms of despair. Her former tenderness
for Kerfael has revived in all its violence. She has lost sight of
the offence he committed, and has nothing in view but the punishment
reserved for her lover." As soon as he had finished these words, he
turned the fatal ring on Fatme, and her Toy cried out with vehemence.

"Twelve hours more, and we shall be revenged. The treacherous
ingrateful man shall perish, and his blood shall be shed." Fatme
affrighted at the extraordinary motion which she felt within her,
and shock'd at the buzzing voice of her Toy, clapt both hands on
it, and put herself upon duty to stop its mouth. But the powerful
ring continued to act, and the ungovernable Toy breaking thro' every
obstacle, added: "Yes, we shall be revenged. O! thou who hast betray'd
me, wretched Kerfael, dye, and thou, whom he has preferred to me, O
Bimbreloqua, despair!----Twelve hours more! Alas! how tedious will
this time appear to me. Hasten, sweet moments, when I shall see the
treacherous, the ingrateful Kerfael under the executioner's knife, his
blood trickling down----Ah! Wretch, what have I said? Can I without
horror see the dearest object of my love perish? Can I see the fatal
weapon lifted up?----Ah! far from me this cruel thought.--He hates me,
'tis true; he has quitted me for Bimbreloqua, but perhaps some time or
other----why do I say, perhaps? Love will certainly recall him under
my yoke. That little Bimbreloqua is a fancy that will fly off; he must
sooner or later be sensible of the injustice of his preference, and
the ridiculousness of his new choice. Comfort thyself, Fatme, thou
shalt see thy Kerfael again. Yes, thou shalt see him again. Arise
quickly, run, fly to remove the dreadful danger which threatens him.
Dost thou not tremble to come too late?--But whither shall I run, mean
wretch that I am. Does not Kerfael's disdain foretel me, that he has
abandoned me for ever. Bimbreloqua enjoys him, and 'tis for her that I
was going to save him: ah! let him rather dye a thousand deaths. If he
lives no more for me, why should I be concerned for his death?--Yes,
I am now convinced that my wrath is just. The ingrateful Kerfael has
deserved all my hatred. I no longer have any remorse. I had done
every thing to keep him, I will do every thing to destroy him. Yet
one day later, and my revenge was disappointed. But his evil genius
delivered him up to me, the very moment that he thought to escape me.
He is fallen into the snare which I laid for him. I have him fast. The
appointment, to which I contrived to bring thee, was the last which
thou intendedst for me: but thou wilt not so soon forget it.--With what
address did you bring him to your beck? Fatme, how well concerted was
your disorder? Your shrieks, your grief, your tears, your confusion,
every thing, even to your silence, has ruin'd Kerfael. Nothing can
snatch him from his impending fate. Kerfael is dead--You weep, wretched
woman. He loved another, of what consequence is his life to you."

Mangogul, filled with horror at this discourse, turned off his ring;
and while Fatme was recruiting her spirits, he flew back to the
Sultana. "Well, prince," said she, "what have you heard? Is Kerfael
still guilty, and the chast Fatme"--"I beseech you to excuse me,"
answered the Sultan, "from repeating the abominations which I come from
hearing. How an exasperated woman is to be dreaded! Who could believe,
that a body formed by the graces, sometimes enclosed a heart molded
by the furies? But the sun shall not set to-morrow on my dominions,
before they be purged of a monster more dangerous than those which are
produced in my deserts."

The Sultan immediately sent for the Seneschal, and commanded him to
seize Fatme, to remove Kerfael into one of the appartments of the
seraglio, and to inform the Senate, that he reserved to himself the
cognizance of his affair. His orders were executed that very night.

The next morning at dawn of day, the Sultan attended by the Seneschal
and an Effendi, went to Mirzoza's appartment, and had Fatme brought
thither. This unfortunate woman threw herself at Mangogul's feet,
confessed her crime with all its circumstances, and conjured Mirzoza
to intercede for her. Mean while Kerfael was conducted in. He expected
nothing but death: however he made his appearance with that composed
assurance, which innocence alone can give. Some ill-natured wags said,
that he would be in greater consternation, if what he was threaten'd
to lose, was worth preserving. The women were upon the tenters to know
the issue. He prostrated himself respectuously before his highness.
Mangogul made him a signal to arise, and giving him his hand, "You
are innocent," said he, "be free. Render thanks to Brama for your
preservation. In order to make amends for the misery you have suffered,
I grant you a pension of two thousand sequins on my exchequer, and the
first commandery that shall fall in the order of the Crocodile."

The more favors were bestowed on Kerfael, the more Fatme dreaded
punishment. The great Seneschal gave his opinion for death, grounded
upon the law: _Si foemina ff. de vi C. calumniatrix_. The Sultan was
inclined for perpetual imprisonment. Mirzoza finding too much rigor in
one of these judgments, and too much indulgence in the other, condemned
Fatme's Toy to the padlock. The Florentine machine was publickly
clapt on, upon the same scaffold that had been erected for Kerfael's
execution. Thence she was conducted to a house of correction, together
with the matrons who had given their decisive opinions with so much
knowledge.

CHAP. XXVI.

_Mirzoza's Metaphysics._

The Souls.

While Mangogul was interrogating the Toys of Haria, the widows, and
Fatme, Mirzoza had full time to prepare her philosophical lecture.
One evening, that the Manimonbanda was performing her devotions, that
there was neither play nor drawing room at court, and that the favorite
was almost certain of a visit from the Sultan; she took two black
petticoats, put one on in the usual manner, and the other over her
shoulders, passed her hands thro' the two slits, put on the peruke
of Mangogul's Seneschal, and his chaplain's square cap; and thought
herself equipped as a philosopher, whereas she had disguised herself
into a bat.

In this masquerade dress, she walked up and down her appartments, as a
professor of the royal college waiting for his scholars. She affected
even to the gloomy pensive physiognomy of a learned man in meditation.
Mirzoza did not hold this forced gravity long. The Sultan entered with
some of his courtiers, and made a low bow to the new philosopher; whose
gravity disconcerted her audience, and was in its turn disconcerted
by the loud laughter it occasioned. "Madam," said Mangogul, "have you
not advantage enough by your wit and figure, without taking the robe
to your aid? without which your words would have all the weight that
you could have desired." "It seems to me, sir," answered Mirzoza, "that
you do not much respect this robe, and that a disciple should pay more
regard to what constitutes half the merit at least of his master." "I
perceive," replied the Sultan, "that you have already acquired the
spirit and tone of your new condition. I make no doubt at present, but
your capacity answers to the dignity of your dress, and I impatiently
expect a proof of it."--"You shall be satisfied this minute," said
Mirzoza, sitting down in the center of a large carpet. The Sultan and
courtiers placed themselves around her, and she began.

"Have the philosophers, who presided over your highness's education,
ever entertain'd you on the nature of the soul?" "Oh! very often,"
said Mangogul; "but all their systems had no other end, but giving me
uncertain notions of it; and were it not for an inward sentiment, which
seems to suggest to me, that it is a substance different from matter,
I should either have denied its existence, or confounded it with the
body. Would you undertake to clear up this chaos?"

"So far from it," replied Mirzoza, "that I am not farther advanced
on that head than your pedagogues. The only difference between them
and me, is that I suppose the existence of a substance different
from matter, and that they hold it demonstrated. But this substance,
if it exists, must be lodged somewhere. Have they not preached many
extravagances to you on that article?"

"No," said Mangogul: "they all pretty generally agreed, that it resides
in the head; and this opinion to me seemed probable. 'Tis the head
that thinks, imagines, reflects, judges, disposes, commands; and we say
every day of a man who does not think, that he has no brains, or that
he wants a head."

"Well then," replied the Sultana, "the result of your long studies
and of all your philosophy, is, to suppose a fact, and to ground it
on popular expressions. Prince, what would you say of your first
geographer, if he presented your highness with a map of your dominions,
in which he had put the east in the west, and the north in the south?"

"That is too gross an error," answered Mangogul, "for any geographer to
have ever committed."

"That may be," continued the favorite; "and in the case before us, your
philosophers are greater bunglers, than the most bungling geographer
can be. They had not a vast empire to survey; the business was not to
fix the limits of the four parts of the world: all they had to do, was
to enter into themselves, and there mark the true seat of their soul.
Yet they have placed the east in the west, and the south in the north.
They have pronounced that the soul is in the head, whereas the greatest
part of mankind dye, without it's ever inhabiting that appartment; and
its first residence is in the feet."

"In the feet!" interrupted the Sultan. "That is the most empty notion
that I have ever heard."

"Yes, in the feet," replied Mirzoza, "and this opinion, which to you
seems so silly, will, upon thoroughly examining it, become rational;
contrary to all those, which you allow as true, and which upon a
thorough examination are found to be false. Your highness agreed with
me just now, that the existence of our soul was founded on the interior
testimony alone, which it bore to itself; and I will now demonstrate,
that all the proofs imaginable of sense concur to fix the soul in the
seat which I have assigned it."

"There we expect you," said Mangogul.

"I desire no favor," continued she; "and I invite ye all to propose
your difficulties. Well then, I was saying that the soul takes up
its first residence in the feet, that there it begins to exist, and
from the feet it advances into the body. To experience I appeal for
this fact; and perhaps I am going to lay the first foundations of
experimental metaphysics.

"We have all experienced in our infancy, that the benumbed soul
remains whole months in a state of sleepiness. At that time the eyes
open without seeing, the mouth without speaking, and the ears without
hearing. 'Tis elsewhere that the soul endeavours to stretch itself and
awake; 'tis in other members that she practises her first functions.
'Tis by the feet that a child gives notice of his formation. His
body, head and arms are immoveable in the mother's womb; but his feet
unfold and extend themselves, and give proofs of his existence, and
perhaps of his exigences. When he is on the point of birth, what would
become of his head, body and arms? They would never come out of their
confinement, had they not been assisted by the feet: here the feet act
the principal part, and drive the rest of the body before them. Such is
the order of nature; and whenever any other member attempts to lead
the van; when the head, for example, takes the place of the feet; every
thing goes wrong, and God knows what is the consequence sometimes, both
to the mother and the child.

"Is the child born? 'tis still in the feet that the chief motions are
performed. We are obliged to confine them: and this is never done
without some reluctance on their part. The head is a block, with which
we do what we will; but the feet are sensible of, shake off the yoke,
and seem jealous of the liberty, of which they are deprived.

"Is the child able to stand alone? the feet make a thousand efforts to
move; they put every thing into action: they command the other members,
and the obedient hands lean against the walls, and advance forward to
prevent or break the falls, and facilitate the action of the feet.

"Whither do all the thoughts of a child tend, what are his pleasures,
when, secure on his legs, his feet have acquired the habit of moving?
To exercise them, to go to and fro', to run, to leap, to bounce. This
turbulence pleases us, we take it for a mark of sense; and we predict
the future stupidity of the child, when we see him indolent and sullen.
Have you a mind to vex a child of four years old? make him sit down for
a quarter of an hour, or imprison him between four chairs: he will grow
peevish and ill-humor'd: for 'tis not his legs alone that you deprive
of exercise, 'tis his soul that you hold in captivity.

"The soul remains in the feet to the age of two or three years; at four
it inhabits the legs; it gets up to the knees and thighs at fifteen.
Then we love dancing, fencing, riding, and the other violent bodily
exercises. This is the predominant passion of all young folks, and
the madness of some. What! does not the soul reside in those places,
where she almost only manifests herself, and where she feels the most
agreeable sensations? But if her residence varies in infancy and youth,
why should it not vary thro' every stage of life?"

Mirzoza pronounced this discourse with such rapidity as made her pant.
Selim, one of the Sultan's favorites, embraced the moment while she was
taking breath, and said to her: "Madam, I will make use of the liberty
you have granted the company, of proposing their objections. Your
system is ingenious, and you have delivered it with equal grace and
clearness: but I am not so far seduced by it, as to think it stands
demonstrated. Methinks one may say, that even in infancy 'tis the head
that commands the feet, and from thence the spirits flow, which, by
means of the nerves, running into all the members, stop or move them
at the will of the soul seated on the pineal gland: just as we see his
highness's orders issuing from the sublime Porte, which set all his
subjects in action."

"Doubtless," replied Mirzoza, "but one would tell me a very obscure
thing; to which I should give no other answer than by an experienced
fact. In infancy we have no certainty that the head thinks; and even
you, my lord, who have so good an one, and who in your tender years
passed for a prodigy of reason, do you remember that you thought at
that time? But you might well assert, that when you gamboled about like
a little Dæmon, so as to drive your governants out of their wits, your
feet then governed your head."

"That proves nothing," said the Sultan. "Selim was lively, and so are
a thousand other children. They do not reflect, but they think: time
slips away, the remembrance of things wears out, and they remember not
that they thought."

"But by what part did they think," replied Mirzoza: "for that is the
point in dispute?"

"By the head," answered Selim.

"What! always this head, into which one cannot peep," replied the
Sultana. "Pray, drop your dark lanthorn, in which you suppose a light,
that is seen by none but by him who carries it: hear my experiment, and
own the truth of my hypothesis. It is so constantly true, that the
soul begins its progress in the body by the feet, that there are some
of both sexes, in whom it never rose higher. My lord, you have admired
Nini's nimbleness and Saligo's feats of activity a thousand times:
answer me then sincerely, do you think that these creatures have their
souls any where else but in their legs? And have you not remarked, that
in Volucer and Zelindor the head is submissive to the feet? The eternal
temptation of a dancer is to contemplate his legs. At every step his
attentive eye follows his paces, and his head bows respectuously before
his feet, as do before his highness his invincible Pacha's."

"I allow the observation," said Selim: "but I deny that it is a general
one."

"Nor do I pretend," replied Mirzoza, "that the soul always fixes in
the feet: she advances, she travels, she quits a part, returns to
it, and quits it again; but I maintain that the other members are
subordinate to that which she inhabits. All this varies according to
the age, temper and circumstances; and thence arises the difference of
tastes, the diversity of inclinations and characters. Do you not admire
the fecundity of my principle? And is not its certainty evinced by the
number of phænomena, to which it extends?"

"Madam," answered Selim, "if you applied it to some in particular,
perhaps it might give us a degree of conviction, which we have not yet
acquired."

"Most willingly," replied Mirzoza, who began to be sensible of the
advantages she gain'd: "you shall be satisfied, only follow the chain
of my notions. I do not pretend to make arguments in form. I speak
from my heart; this is the philosophy of our sex, and you understand it
almost as well as we. It is probable enough," added she, "that the soul
occupies the feet and legs to the age of eight or ten: but about that
time, or rather later, she quits that lodging, either of her own free
motion, or by force. By force, when a tutor employs certain machines
to drive her out of her native place, and lead her into the brain;
where she is metamorphosed generally into memory, and seldom or never
into judgment. This is the fate of school-boys. In like manner, if a
weak governant labours hard to form a young girl, stuffs her mind with
knowledge, and neglects the heart and morals; the soul rapidly flies
towards the head, stops on the tongue, or fixes in the eyes; and her
scholar is but a tiresome pratler, or a coquet.

"Thus the voluptuous woman is she whose soul occupies her Toy, and
never strays from it.

"The woman of gallantry, she whose soul is sometimes in her Toy, and
sometimes in her eyes.

"The affectionate woman, she whose soul is habitually in the heart, but
sometimes also in her Toy.

"The virtuous woman, she whose soul is sometimes in her head, sometimes
in her heart, but never any where else.

"If the soul fixes in the heart, she forms the characters of
sensibility, compassion, truth, generosity. If she quits the heart
without returning thither, and retires to the head; then she forms
those whom we call hardhearted, ungrateful, deceitful, cruel men.

"The class of those, in whom the soul visits the head merely as a
country-house, where its stay is short, is very numerous. It is
composed of _Petits-Maitres_, coquets, musicians, poets, romancers,
courtiers, and all those who are called pretty women. Listen to the
reasoning of these entities, and you will instantly discern vagabond
souls, which are influenced by the different climes they inhabit."

"If that be the case," said Selim, "nature has formed many useless
things. And yet our sages hold as a constant maxim, that she has
produced nothing in vain."

"Drop your sages and their lofty expressions," answered Mirzoza; "and
as to nature, let us consider her with the eyes of experience only,
and we shall learn from her, that she has placed the soul in the body
of man, as in a spacious palace, of which she does not always occupy
the most beautiful appartment. The head and heart are principally
destined for her, as the center of virtue, and the residence of truth:
but most commonly she stops on the road, and prefers a garret, a
suspicious place, a miserable inn, where she drops asleep in perpetual
drunkenness. Ah! If I were allowed for twenty-four hours only, to
settle the world according to my fancy, I would divert you with a
very strange sight: in a moment I would deprive each soul of the
superfluous parts of its habitation; and you would see each individual
characterised by the part left him. Thus dancers would be reduced to
two feet, or two legs at most; singers to a throat; most women to a
Toy; hero's and prize-fighters to an armed hand; certain learned men
to a skull without brains; a female gamester should be stinted to two
hands incessantly shuffling the cards; a glutton to two jaws always
in motion; a coquet to two eyes; a rake to the sole instrument of his
passion; the ignorant and lazy to nothing."

"If you leave the women any hands at all," interrupted the Sultan,
"those men whom you would reduce to the sole instrument of their
passions, would be pursued. This chace would be a pleasant sight: and
if the sex was as greedy of this game every where else as in Congo, the
species would soon be extinct."

"But," said Selim to the favorite, "of what would you compose
affectionate and sensible women, constant and faithful lovers?"

"Of a heart," answered Mirzoza; "and I well know," added she, darting
a tender glance on Mangogul, "that, to which mine would wish to be
united."

The Sultan could not stand against this declaration: he sprung from
his seat to the favorite: the courtiers disappear'd, and the new
philosopher's chair became the theatre of their pleasures: he gave
her repeated proofs that he was not less charmed with her sentiments
than with her discourse; and the philosophic equipage was thrown into
disorder. Mirzoza return'd the black petticoats to her women, sent
my lord Seneschal his enormous peruke, and to _Monsieur l'Abbé_ his
square cap, with assurances that he should be on the list at the next
nomination. What would he not have attained, if he had been a genius?
A seat in the academy was the least reward that he could expect: but
unluckily he knew but two or three hundred words, and had never been
able from that stock, to compass the composing of two _Ritournelles_.

CHAP. XXVII.

_Sequel of the preceding conversation._

Mangogul was the only person that had given attention to Mirzoza's
philosophic lecture without interrupting her; and as he was pretty much
inclined to contradict, she was astonish'd at it. "Does the Sultan
allow my system from beginning to end?" said she within herself. "No,
that is not probable: has he found it too bad to deign to attack it?
that may be. My notions are not the most just that have been broach'd
to this day; I grant it: but neither are they the most false; and I am
apt to think that worse have been invented."

In order to clear up this doubt, the favorite resolved to ask some
questions of Mangogul. "Well, prince," said she, "what are your
thoughts of my system?" "It is admirable," answered the Sultan; "I find
but one defect in it." "What defect is that?" replied the favorite.
"It is," said Mangogul, "that it is as false as false can be. Pursuant
to your notions, we must all be endowed with souls: now observe, my
soul's delight, that there is not common sense in this supposition. I
have a soul: there is an animal that acts most part of the time as if
he had none; and perhaps in reality he has none, even while he acts as
if he had one. But he has a nose made like mine; I feel that I have a
soul, and that I think: therefore that animal has a soul, and thinks
likewise. This argument has been made use of above a thousand years,
and it has been impertinent full as long."

"I own," said the favorite, "that it is not always evident that others
think." "And add," replied Mangogul, "that it is evident on an hundred
occasions that they do not think." "But in my opinion," says Mirzoza,
"it would be going a great length, to infer from thence, that they
never have or ever will think. A person is not always a beast, for
having been so sometimes; and your highness----"

Mirzoza, fearing to offend the Sultan, stopt short. "Continue, madam,"
said Mangogul, "I understand you; would you not have said, has my
highness never acted the beast? I answer you, that I have now and then,
and that even I excused others for taking me for such: for you may
easily imagine, that they did not fail so to do, tho' they dared not to
speak out."----"Ah! prince," cried the favorite, "if men refused a soul
to the greatest monarch upon earth, to whom could they allow one?"

"Pray, forbear compliments," says Mangogul. "I have for a moment laid
down the crown and scepter. I have ceased to be Sultan, in order to
be a philosopher, and I can hear and speak the truth. I believe I
have given you proofs of the one; and you have hinted to me, without
offending me, and quite at your ease, that I have been sometimes no
better than a beast. Permit me thoroughly to fulfil the duties of my
new character.

"Far from agreeing with you," continued he, "that every creature
that has legs, arms, hands, eyes and ears as I have, possesses a soul
like me; I declare to you, that I am absolutely perswaded, that three
fourths of the men and all the women are but mere machines."

"There may possibly be as much truth," answered the favorite, "as
politeness in what you say."

"Oh!" says the Sultan, "madam seems to be angry: and why the devil
do you take it into your head to philosophize, if you will not allow
one to speak the truth? Is it in the schools that politeness is to be
sought for? I have left you full elbow-room; pray, allow me the same,
if you please. Well, then, I was saying, that ye are all beasts."

"Yes, prince; and this is what remained to be proved," added Mirzoza.

"Nothing more easy," answered the Sultan. Then he set about detailing
all the impertinences which had been said over and over, with as little
wit and delicacy as possible, against a sex which possesses both these
qualities in a sovereign degree. Never was Mirzoza's patience put to a
greater trial; and you would never be so tired in your whole life, as
if I related all Mangogul's reasonings. This prince, who did not want
good sense, was that day absurd beyond all comprehension: of which you
shall be a judge. "It is so true, by Jupiter," said he, "that a woman
is but an animal, that I'll wager, if I turn Cucufa's ring on my mare,
I shall make her speak like a woman."

"Without doubt," answered Mirzoza, "there is the strongest argument
that has ever been, or ever will be made against us." Then she burst
out into a loud fit of laughter. Mangogul, vexed to see no end to
her laughter, went out in a hurry, resolved to try the whimsical
experiment, which occur'd to his imagination.

CHAP. XXVIII.

_Thirteenth trial of the Ring._

The Little Mare.

I am not a great portrait-maker. I have exempted the reader from that
of the favorite Sultana; but I can never condescend to remit him that
of the Sultan's mare. She was of a middling size, and had a pretty
good gait; the chief fault found with her in that regard was, that
she did not bridle her head sufficiently. Her colour was white, with
blue eyes, small hoofs, clean legs, firm hams, and light haunches.
She had been taught to dance for a long time, and she made her bows
like a master of the ceremonies. Upon the whole she was a pretty beast
enough, and remarkably gentle: she was easily mounted, but one must be
an excellent horseman to be able to keep the saddle. She had belong'd
to the senator Aaron: but on a fine evening the skittish creature
took fright, threw the judge, and ran full speed to the Sultan's
studs, carrying with her the saddle, bridle, furniture, housings and
caparisons of value; which became her so well, that it was not thought
proper to send them back.

Mangogul went into his stables, accompanied by his first secretary
Ziguezague. "Listen attentively," said he, "and write."----That
very instant he turn'd his ring on the mare, which fell to leaping,
prancing, kicking, bouncing, and neighing under the tail.----"Where
are your thoughts," said the prince to his secretary, "write
then."----"Sultan," replied Ziguezague, "I wait till your highness
begins."----"My mare," says Mangogul, "will dictate to you this once,
write."

Ziguezague, whom this order reduced too low in his own opinion,
assumed the liberty of representing to the Sultan, that he would
always esteem it a high honour to be his secretary, but not that of
his mare. "Write, I tell you," said the Sultan again. "Prince, I
cannot," replied Ziguezague: "I know not the orthography of this sort
of words."----"Write however," said the Sultan once more----"I am
excessively mortified, to be obliged to disobey your highness," added
Ziguezague; "but"----"But you are a scoundrel," interrupted Mangogul,
incensed at a refusal so much out of place; "quit my palace, and never
appear there more."

Poor Ziguezague disappear'd, having learn'd by experience, that a man
of spirit ought not to enter the palaces of most part of the great,
without leaving his sentiments at the gate. His deputy was called. He
was a Provencal, frank, honest, and thoroughly disinterested. He flew
whither he thought his duty and fortune called him, made a low bow to
the Sultan, a lower still to his mare, and wrote every thing that the
beast vouchsafed to dictate.

I must beg leave to refer those, who are curious to know her
discourse, to the archives of Congo. This prince immediately ordered
copies of it to be distributed among all his interpreters and
professors of foreign languages, both ancient and modern. One said,
that it was a scene of some old Greek tragedy, which to him appear'd
very moving; another, by the strength of his genius discovered, that
it was an important fragment of Egyptian theology: a third pretended,
that it was the Exordium of Hannibal's funeral oration in the Punic
language; and a fourth asserted, that the piece was writ in Chinese,
and that it was a very devout prayer to Confucius.

While the Litterati were trying the Sultan's patience with their
learned conjectures, he recollected Gulliver's travels, and made no
doubt, but that a person, who had lived so long as this Englishman,
in an island, where horses have a government, laws, kings, gods,
priests, a religion, temples and altars, and who seemed so perfectly
well instructed in their manners and customs, was a thorough master of
their language. Accordingly Gulliver read and interpreted the mare's
discourse off hand, notwithstanding the orthographical errors, with
which it abounded. Nay, it is the only good translation of it in all
Congo. Mangogul learned for his own private satisfaction, and for the
honour of his system, that it was an historical abridgment of the
amours of an old Pacha of three tails with the little mare, which
had been attack'd by an infinite number of jack-asses before him: a
singular anecdote, the truth of which however was not unknown, either
to the Sultan, or to any other person at court, at Banza, and in the
rest of the empire.

CHAP. XXIX.

_The best perhaps, and the least read of this history._

_Mangogul's dream, or a voyage into the region of hypotheses._

"Waa," says Mangogul, yawning and rubbing his eyes, "my head achs.
Let nobody evermore talk philosophy to me. Such conversations are
unwholsome. Last night I lay on empty ideas; and instead of sleeping
like a Sultan, my brain work'd more than those of my ministers do in
a year. You laugh; but to convince you that I do not exaggerate, and
to take my revenge for the bad night which your reasonings gave me, I
enjoin you the penance of hearing my dream in its full extent.

"As soon as I began to nod, and my imagination to take its flight,
I saw an odd animal bounce by my side. He had the head of an eagle,
the feet of a griffon, the body of a horse, and the tail of a lion. I
seized him, notwithstanding his prancing; and holding by his mane, I
nimbly sprung on his back. Immediately he spread out long wings, which
issued from his flanks, and I felt myself carried in the air with
incredible swiftness.

"After driving a vast way, I espied, in the emptiness of space, a
building suspended as by enchantment. It was a vast one. I will not say
that it was faulty in its foundation; for it had none. Its columns,
which were not half a foot in diameter, ran up out of sight, and
supported arches, which would not have been visible, were it not for
the symmetrical lights made in them.

"At the entrance into this edifice it was that my beast first stop'd.
At first I was in a doubt whether I should alight: for I apprehended
less danger in sitting on my hippogriffon, than in walking under this
portico. However, encouraged by the multitude of its inhabitants, and
by a remarkable security, which was predominant in their countenances,
I alight, go forward, mix with the crowd, and make my observations on
those that composed it.

"They were old men, either bloated or feeble; without _Embonpoint_ and
strength, and almost all deform'd. The head of one was too little, the
arms of another too short. One was hump-back'd, another bandy-legg'd.
Most of them had no feet, and walk'd on crutches. A breath threw them
down, and they remain'd on the ground, till some new comer was pleased
to lift them up. All these defects notwithstanding, they pleased at
first sight. They had in their physiognomy somewhat engaging and
confident. They were almost naked: for all their cloathing consisted of
a small rag of stuff, which did not cover the hundredth part of their
body.

"I continued to pierce the crowd, and got to the foot of a rostrum, for
which a cobweb served as a canopy. The boldness of this rostrum was of
a piece with that of the building. To me it seemed placed on the point
of a needle, and to support itself there in æquilibrio. I trembled a
hundred times for the person, who was in it. He was an old man, with a
long beard, as wither'd and naked as any of his disciples: he had a cup
full of a subtil fluid before him, into which he dipp'd a straw-pipe;
then put it to his mouth, and blew bubbles to a crowd of spectators
around him, who were using their utmost endeavours to drive them up to
the clouds.

"'Where am I?' said I to myself, all in confusion at these childish
tricks. 'What means this blower of bubbles, and all these decrepit
infants employ'd in making them fly about? Who will let me into the
secret of these things?'--Besides, the little scraps of stuff had
struck me; and I observed that the larger they were, the less those
that wore them interested themselves in the bubbles. This singular
remark embolden'd me to accost him, who was the least undress'd of the
company.

"I saw one, whose shoulders were half covered with pieces so well
fitted together, that the seams were not to be seen. He walk'd forward
and backward in the crowd, with very little concern for what they were
doing. He had an affable air, a smiling mouth, a noble gait, a mild
look; and I went directly to him, and asked him without ceremony: 'Who
are you? Where am I? And who are all these folks?'--He answered, 'I
am Plato. You are in the region of hypotheses, and these folks are
systematics.' 'But by what chance,' replied I, 'is the divine Plato
here, and what does he do among these madmen?'--'Raising recruits,'
said he. 'At a distance from this Portico I have a sanctuary, whither I
conduct those who abandon systems.' 'And how do you employ them?' 'In
knowing man, practising virtue, and sacrificing to the graces'--'These
are noble employments: but what mean these shreds of fluff, whereby you
look more like beggers than philosophers?'--'Oh! what a question do you
propose to me,' said he with a sigh, 'and what thoughts do you bring
back to my mind? This temple was formerly that of philosophy. Alas! how
much this place is changed! The chair of Socrates was here.'--'How,'
said I, interrupting him, 'had Socrates a straw, and did he blow
bubbles?'--'No, no,' replied Plato, 'it was not by such means that
he merited of the Gods the name of the wisest of men. His constant
occupation, during life, was forming heads and hearts. The secret was
lost at his death. Socrates died, and the bright days of philosophy
were no more. These pieces of stuff, which those very systematics think
it an honour to wear, are scraps of his garment. Scarcely had his eyes
been closed, when those, who aspired to the title of philosophers,
seized his robe, and tore it in pieces.' 'I understand,' said I, 'these
pieces served as tickets both to them and their long posterity.'--'Who
will collect these scraps,' continued Plato, 'and restore us Socrates's
robe?

"While he was uttering these words, I saw at a distance a child walking
towards us in a slow but sure pace. He had a little head, slender
body, weak arms and short legs: but all these parts increased in
all dimensions, according as he came forward. In the progress of his
successive growth, he appear'd to me under a hundred different forms;
I saw him directing a long telescope towards the heavens, estimating
the fall of bodies by means of a pendulum, determining the weight of
the air by a tube fill'd with quicksilver, and discomposing light with
a prism. He was now become an enormous Colossus: his head touch'd the
heavens, his feet were lost in the abyss, and his arms reach'd from one
to the other pole. With his right hand he brandished a torch, whose
light spread a vast way in the sky, enlightened even the bottom of the
waters, and penetrated into the entrails of the earth. I ask'd Plato,
what that gigantic figure was, that was coming towards us. 'It is
experience,' said he. Scarcely had he made me this short answer, when I
saw experience draw near, and the columns of the portico of hypotheses
to shake, its arches to sink in, and its pavement to crack under our
feet. 'Let us fly,' said Plato, 'let us fly: this edifice has but a
moment to stand.' At these words he departs, and I follow him. The
Colossus arrives, strikes the portico, it tumbles down with a frightful
noise, and I awake."

"Ah! Prince," cried Mirzoza, "'tis you that ought to dream. I would
indeed be very glad, that you had had a good night: but now that I know
your dream, I should be very sorry that you had not dream'd it."

"Madam," said Mangogul, "I could point out nights better spent than
that of this dream, which gives you so much pleasure; and if I had
been master of making the journey, or not; it is very probable, that,
not hoping to find you in the country of hypotheses, I should have bent
my course elsewhere. And then, either I should not have the head-ach,
which I actually feel, or at least I should have reason to make myself
easy under it."

"Prince," replied Mirzoza, "it is to be hoped, that it will soon go
off; and that one or two experiments of your ring will rid you of
it." "I must try," said Mangogul. The conversation lasted some time
longer between the Sultan and Mirzoza; so that he did not quit her
till eleven, when he went upon the expedition related in the following
chapter.

CHAP. XXX.

_Fourteenth trial of the Ring._

The mute Toy.

Of all the ladies, who shone at the Sultan's court, none had more
charms and wit than young Egle, the wife of his highness's great
cupbearer. She was of all Mangogul's parties, who was much taken with
the chearfulness of her conversation: and as if there could be neither
pleasure nor amusement without Egle, she was also of all the parties
of the grandees of his court. Balls, public diversions, drawing rooms,
feasts, private suppers, hunting matches, play, every where Egle was
invited, and every where she appear'd: it seem'd as if the taste of
amusements multiplied her, according to the will of those who desired
her company. Wherefore it is needless to say, that if no woman was as
much sought after as Egle, there was none so diffused.

She had been always pursued by a crowd of lovers, and people were
persuaded that she had not treated them all with severity. Whether
it were inadvertence, or thorough good nature, her common politeness
frequently resembled premeditated regard: and those who endeavour'd to
gain her, sometimes read affection in her eyes, when she never intended
more than affability. Neither caustic, nor detracting, she never
open'd her mouth but to say pleasing things: which she did with such
spirit and vivacity, that on several occasions, her encomiums raised
a suspicion that she had a choice to justify. Thus it appears, that
those, of whom Egle was the ornament and delight, were unworthy of her.

It was natural to think, that a woman, in whom no fault perhaps was to
be found, but an excess of goodness, ought to have no enemies. Yet she
had some, and very bitter ones. The devouts of Banza found that she had
too free an air, and somewhat too loose in her carriage; saw nothing in
her conduct but a rage of worldly pleasures; inferred thence, that her
morals were equivocal at least, and charitably insinuated this to all
those that would hear them.

The court ladies did not treat Egle with greater tenderness. They
suspected her intimacies, gave her gallants, even honored her with
some great adventures, made her a party concerned in others: they knew
particulars, and quoted witnesses. "Good," whispered they, "she has
been surprized _tête à tête_ with Melraim in one of the groves of the
great park. Egle does not want wit," added they; "but Melraim has too
much good sense to be amused with her speeches alone, at ten at night,
in a grove."--"You are mistaken," said a _Petit-Maitre_, "I have walked
with her a hundred times in the dusk of the evening, and found my
account in it. But _à propos_, do you know that Zulemar is daily at her
toilette?"--"Doubtless, we know it, and that she has no toilette but
when her husband is in waiting at court."----"Poor Celebi," continued
another, "indeed his wife advertises him by the aigrette and diamond
buckles, which she received of the pacha Ismael."----"Is that true,
madam?"----"It is strict truth, I have it from her own mouth: but in
the name of Brama let this go no farther. Egle is my friend, and I
should be very sorry"----"Alas," cried a third sorrowfully, "the poor
little creature ruins herself very chearfully. A great pity truly. But
twenty intrigues at a time, that seems rather too much."

The _Petits-Maitres_ were not more sparing of her. One related a
hunting match, in which she and he lost themselves together. Another,
out of respect for the sex, suppress'd the consequences of a very
smart conversation he held with her at a masquerade, where he met her.
A third made a panegyric on her wit and charms, and ended it by shewing
her portrait, which he declared he had from the best hands. "This
portrait," said a fourth, "is more like her than that, of which she
made a present to Jenaki."

These stories at length came to her husband's ears. Celebi loved his
wife, but still with such decency, that no body had the least suspicion
of it. He repulsed the first reports, but they return'd to the charge
from so many quarters, that he thought his friends more clear-sighted
than himself: and the more liberty he had granted to Egle, the more
he suspected that she had abused it. Jealousy took possession of his
soul. He began by cramping his wife. Egle bore this change of behaviour
with the greater impatience, as she was conscious of her innocence.
Her vivacity and the advices of her female friends, hurried her into
inconsiderate deportment, which made all the appearances turn against
her, and had like to cost her her life. The violent Celebi for some
time rack'd his brain with a thousand projects of revenge, steel,
poison, the fatal noose, &c. and at length resolved on a slower and
more cruel punishment, by confining her to his country seat: which is
death indeed to a court lady. In a word, orders are given: Egle is
inform'd of her destiny: he is insensible to her tears and deaf to her
reasons, and she is banish'd two hundred miles from Banza, to an old
castle, where she is allowed no other company than two maids and four
black eunuchs, who continually watch her.

Scarcely was she set out, when she was innocent. The _Petits-Maitres_
forgot her adventures; the women forgave her her wit and charms, and
all the world bemoaned her. Mangogul was apprized, from Celebi's own
mouth, of his motives for the dreadful resolution he had taken against
his wife, and seem'd to be the only person that approved it.

The wretched Egle had already groaned near six months under her exile,
when Kerfael's adventure happened. Mirzoza wish'd she might prove
innocent, but durst not indulge those flattering hopes. However, she
one day said to the Sultan: "Prince, might not your ring, which has
saved Kerfael's life, put an end to Egle's banishment? But I forget
myself: in order to that, her Toy should be consulted; and the poor
recluse is dying with grief two hundred miles hence."----"You interest
yourself much," answered Mangogul, "in Egle's fate." "Yes Prince," said
Mirzoza; "especially if she is innocent." "You shall have tydings of
this affair within an hour," replied Mangogul. "Do you not remember the
properties of my ring?"----At these words, he went into the garden,
turn'd his ring, and in less than fifteen minutes was in the park of
the castle wherein Egle dwelt.

There he espied Egle alone and overwhelm'd with sorrow: her head was
leaning on her hand, she was tenderly repeating her husband's name,
and with her tears she was watering the green turf, on which she sate.
Mangogul drawing near turn'd his ring on her, and Egle's Toy said in
a mournful strain: "I love Celebi." The Sultan waited for the sequel;
but as it came not, he had recourse to his ring, which he rubb'd two
or three times against his hat, before he levell'd it on Egle: but his
labour was vain. The Toy repeated: "I love Celebi," and stop'd short.
"There is a very discreet Toy," said the Sultan. "Let us try once more,
and ply it closer." Whereupon he gave to his ring all the energy, which
it was capable of receiving, and turn'd it nimbly on Egle: but her Toy
continued mute. It either constantly kept silence, or broke it only by
repeating these plaintive words: "I love Celebi, and have never loved
any other man."

Mangogul, being thoroughly satisfied, returned to Mirzoza in fifteen
minutes. "What, Prince," said she, "return'd already. Well, what have
you learnt? Do you bring fresh matter for our conversations?" "I bring
nothing," answered the Sultan. "What! nothing?"--"Nothing at all. I
never knew a Toy so silent: I could get nothing from it but these
words. 'I love Celebi, I love Celebi, and have never loved any other
man.'" "Ah! Prince," replied Mirzoza with vivacity, "what do you tell
me? What happy news! There is one virtuous woman found at last. Will
you suffer her to remain longer miserable?" "No," answered Mangogul:
"her banishment shall be at an end, but have you no apprehensions that
it may be at the expence of her virtue? Egle is chaste, but consider,
my heart's delight, what you require of me; to re-call her to my court,
in order that she may continue so: however you shall be satisfied."

The Sultan sent for Celebi immediately, and told him; that having made
a strict inquiry into the reports spread abroad concerning Egle, he had
found them false and calumnious, and commanded him to bring her back to
court. Celebi obey'd, and presented his wife to Mangogul: she was going
to throw herself at his highness's feet, but the Sultan stopping her
said: "Madam, thank Mirzoza. Her friendship for you determined me to
clear up the truth of the facts imputed to you. Continue to embellish
my court; but remember that a pretty woman sometimes does herself as
much mischief by acts of imprudence, as by adventures."

The very next day Egle waited on the Manimonbanda, who received her
with a smile. The _Petits-Maitres_ redoubled their insipidities towards
her, and the women all ran to embrace and give her joy, and began again
to tear her in pieces.

End of the First Volume.

CHAP. XXXI.

Was Mangogul in the right?

From the time that Mangogul had received the fatal present of Cucufa,
the ridicules and vices of the sex were become the eternal subject of
his jokes: he was never done with them, and his favorite's patience was
frequently quite tired out. Now, two cruel effects of this teizing on
her, as well as on many others, was to put her into a bad humor, and
to sour her temper. At those times woe to him that came near her: she
made no distinction of persons, and the Sultan himself was not spared.

"Prince," said she to him, in one of these peevish fits, "tho' you are
so knowing in many things, perhaps you do not know the news of the
day."----"What is it?" said Mangogul.----"It is, that every morning
you get by heart three pages of Brantome, or of Ouville: people do not
determine which of these two profound writers you prefer"----"They are
mistaken, madam," answered Mangogul, "'tis Crebillon, that"----"O,
pray don't excuse yourself from that sort of reading," interrupted the
favorite. "The new calumnies that are invented on us, are so insipid,
that it is better to revive the old. Truly there are very good things
in this same Brantome: if to these little stories you add three or
four chapters of Bayle, you alone will in a thrice have as much wit
as the marquiss D'----, and the Chevalier de Mouhi. That would spread
a surprising variety on your conversation. When you have equipped the
ladies from head to foot, you might then fall on the Pagoda's; and from
the Pagoda's you might return on the women. In truth, all that you want
to make you quite diverting, is a small collection of impieties."

"You are in the right, madam," answered Mangogul, "and I will take care
to lay in a good stock. He who is afraid of being duped in this world
and the next, cannot be too much upon his guard against the power of
the Pagoda's, the probity of men, and virtue of women."

"Then, in your opinion, this virtue is a very ambiguous thing?" replied
Mirzoza. "More so than you imagine," answered Mangogul.

"Prince," returned Mirzoza, "you have a hundred times talk'd to me
of your ministers as the honestest men in Congo. I have so often
patiently heard the praises of your Seneschal, of the governors of your
provinces, of your secretaries, of your treasurer, in a word, of all
your officers, that I am able to repeat them by memory word for word.
It is strange, that the object of your tenderness should be the only
person excepted from the good opinion, which you have conceived of
those who have the honor of being near your person."

"And who told you that it is so?" replied the Sultan. "Be perswaded,
madam, that the discourses, true or false, which I make on women, do by
no means concern you, unless you think proper to represent the sex in
general.----"

"I should not advise madam to that," added Selim, who was present at
this conversation. "She would gain nothing by it but defects."

"I do not," answered Mirzoza, "relish compliments which are addressed
to me at the expence of my sex. When any one takes it into his head to
praise me, I could wish that nobody suffered by it. Most of the fine
speeches which are offered to us, are like the sumptuous entertainments
which your highness receives from your Pacha's: they are always at the
expence of the public."

"Let us pass that by," said Mangogul. "But sincerely, are you not
convinced that the virtue of the women of Congo is but a mere chimæra?
Pray observe, my soul's delight, what the present fashionable education
is, what examples mothers set to their daughters, and how the head
of a pretty woman is filled with the notion, that to confine herself
to domestic affairs, to manage her family, and keep to her husband,
is to lead a dismal life, to be eat up with vapors, and to bury
herself alive. And at the same time we men are so forward, and a young
unexperienced girl is so raptured with being attack'd. I have said that
virtuous women were rare, excessively rare; and far from changing my
sentiment, I might add freely, that 'tis surprizing they are not more
so. Ask Selim what he thinks of the matter."

"Prince," answered Mirzoza, "Selim has too great obligations to our
sex, to tear them in pieces without mercy."

"Madam," said Selim, "his highness, who could not possibly meet with
cruel women, ought naturally to think of the sex as he does: and you,
who have the good nature to judge of others by yourself, can hardly
have any other sentiments than those which you defend. I will own
however, that I am apt to believe there are women of sense, to whom
the benefits of virtue are known by experience, and whom a serious
reflection has convinced of the ill consequences of an irregular life;
women happily born, well educated, who have learn'd to feel their duty,
who love it, and will never swerve from it."

"And not to lose ourselves in speculative reasoning," added the
favorite, "is not Egle, with all her sprightliness and charms, a
model of virtue? Prince, you cannot doubt it, and all Banza knows it
from your mouth: now, if there be one virtuous woman, there may be a
thousand."

"Oh! as to the possibility," said Mangogul, "I dispute it not."

"But if you allow it possible," replied Mirzoza, "who has revealed to
you, that they do not actually exist?"

"Nothing but their Toys," answered the Sultan. "And yet I grant that
this evidence does not come up to the strength of your argument. May
I be transform'd into a mole, if you have not borrowed it from some
Bramin. Order the Manimonbanda's chaplain to be called, and he will
tell you that you have proved the existence of virtuous women, much
as he demonstrates that of Brama, in Braminology. _A propos_, have
you not taken a course in that sublime school, before you entered the
Seraglio?"

"No ill-natured jokes," replied Mirzoza. "I do not draw my conclusion
from possibility: I ground it on a fact, on an experiment."

"Yes," continued Mangogul, "on a lame fact, on a single experiment;
while, to your certain knowledge, I have a multitude of trials for my
opinion: but I will not sour your temper by farther contradictions."

"It is a favor," said Mirzoza, "that after two hours teizing, you cease
to persecute me."

"If I have committed the fault," answered Mangogul, "I will endeavour
to make amends for it. Madam, I give up all my past advantages; and if,
in the trials which I shall hereafter make, I light on a single woman
really and constantly virtuous."----"What will you do?" interrupted
Mirzoza smartly.

"I will declare to the world, if you require it, that I am charmed with
your reasoning on the possibility of virtuous women; I will support the
reputation of your logic with all my might; and will give you my castle
of Amara, with all the Saxon Porcelaines which adorn it; even without
excepting the little Sapajou, or red-faced monkey in Enamel, and the
other valuable nick-nacks, which I had out of the cabinet of Madame de
Verue."

"Prince," says Mirzoza, "I will be content with the Porcelaines of the
castle, and the little monkey."

"A bargain," replies the Sultan, "Selim shall be our judge. I only
desire a little respite before I examine Egle's Toy. The court air,
and her husband's jealousy, must be allowed time to operate."

Mirzoza granted a month to Mangogul; which was double the time he
required: and they parted equally filled with hope.

The city of Banza also would have been full of wagers on either side,
if the Sultan's promise had been divulged. But Selim kept the secret,
and Mangogul clandestinely prepared for winning or losing. As he was
quitting the favorite's appartment, he heard her call out to him from
her closet: "Prince, and the little monkey." "And the little monkey,"
answered Mangogul, and went out. He was going directly to the private
lodge of a senator, whither we will attend him.

CHAP. XXXII.

_The fifteenth trial of the Ring._

Alphana.

The Sultan was not ignorant, that the young lords of the court had
private lodges; but he was lately informed, that those retreats were
likewise used by some senators. He was much surprized at this. "What
do they do there?" said he to himself. (For in this volume he will
keep up the custom of monology, which he contracted in the first.) "I
should think, that a man, whom I have entrusted with the tranquillity,
fortune, liberty, and lives of my people, ought not to have a private
lodge. But perhaps a senator's private lodge is quite different from
that of a _Petit-Maitre_. Can a magistrate, before whom the interests
of the greatest of my subjects are discussed, who holds the fatal urn,
out of which he is to draw the widow's lot, can he, I say, forget
the dignity of his state, and the importance of his duty; and while
Cochin fatigues his lungs in vain by carrying the cries of the orphan
to his ear, can he be studying subjects of gallantry, which are to be
ornaments over the door of a place of secret debauchery? That cannot
be.----However, let us see."

He said, and departed for Alcanto, where the senator Hippomanes has his
private lodge. He enters, walks round the appartments, and examines
the furniture. Every thing has a gay appearance. The private lodge of
Agefilas, the nicest and most voluptuous of his courtiers, is not more
elegant. He was on the point of resolving to leave it, without knowing
what to think; (for besides all the rich beds, the looking-glass
alcoves, the soft sofa's; the cabinet of exquisite liquors, and every
thing else, were silent witnesses of what he desired to know:) when
he espied a corpulent figure stretched on a couch, and sunk in a deep
sleep. He turn'd his ring on her, and from her Toy he obtained the
following anecdotes.

"Alphana is the daughter of a senator. If her mother's life had been
shorter than it was, I should not have been here. The immense wealth
of the family was squandered by the old fool: and she left little or
nothing to her four children, three boys and a girl, whose Toy I am,
alas! to my great misfortune, and to be sure for my sins. How many
indignities have I suffered! How many more still remain to be borne!
The world said, that the cloister agreed very well with the fortune and
figure of my mistress; but I found it did not suit with me: I preferred
the military art to the monastic state, and I made my first campaigns
under the Emir Azalaph. I perfected myself under the great Nangazaki.
But the ingratitude of the service disgusted me, and made me quit the
sword for the gown. Thus I am upon the point of belonging to a little
scoundrel of a senator, quite bloated with his talents, his wit, his
figure, his equipage, and his birth. I am now two hours in waiting for
him. To be sure he will come, because his gentleman has apprized me,
that when he comes, it is his madness to let people wait a long time."

Alphana's Toy was thus far advanced, when Hippomanes arrived. At the
bustle of his train, and the caresses he bestowed on his favorite
grey-hound, Alphana awoke. "Oh! are you there, my queen?" says the
little president. "'Tis very difficult to come at you. How do you like
my little lodge; it is as good as some others, is it not?"

Alphana putting on a bashful, shy, distressed air, "as if we had never
seen a private lodge before," says her Toy, "and as if I had no share
in her adventures," cried out in a mournful manner. "My lord president,
I take an unaccountable step for you. The passion that drags me to you
must surely be very violent, since it shuts my eyes to the dangers
which I incur. For what would the world say, if there was any suspicion
of my being here?"

"You are right," answered Hippomanes; "your proceeding is liable to
misinterpretations. But you may rely on my discretion."

"But," replied Alphana, "I rely also on your conduct."

"Oh! as to that," says Hippomanes, "I shall be very modest: and how
is it possible not to be as devote as an angel in a private lodge? In
truth, you have a charming neck----"

"Ha' done," says Alphana, "you break your word already."

"Not at all," replies the president: "but you have not answered my
question. What do you think of this furniture?" And then turning to his
grey-hound, "come hither, Folly, give me thy paw, my child. Folly is a
good girl.----Will madam be pleased to take a turn in the garden? Let
us walk on my terrass, it is a charming one. I am overlooked by some
of my neighbours, but possibly they will not know you.--"

"My lord president, I am not curious," says Alphana with an air of
dudgeon. "I think we are better here."

"Just as you please," answers Hippomanes. "If you are tired, there is a
bed. If you have the least inclination, I advise you to try it. Young
Asteria, and little Phenice, who are great judges, assure me that it
is a good one." While Hippomanes was talking thus impertinently to
Alphana, he pull'd off her gown by the sleeves, unlaced her stays,
untied her petticoats, and disengaged her two clumsy feet from two
little slippers.

When Alphana was almost naked, then did she perceive that Hippomanes
was undressing her.--"What are you doing?" cryed she quite surprized.
"President, you don't consider. I shall be angry in earnest."

"Ah, my queen," answered Hippomanes, "to be angry with a man who loves
you as I do, would be such an oddity as you are not capable of. May I
presume to entreat you to walk to this bed?"

"To this bed," replied Alphana. "Ah! my lord president, you abuse my
tenderness. I to go into a bed! I, into a bed!"

"No, no, my queen," answered Hippomanes. "That is not the thing, who
desires you to go to it. But you must, if you please, suffer yourself
to be conducted to it: for you may easily conclude from your size,
that I cannot be in the humor of carrying you to it."--Nevertheless he
grasped her about the waist, and making some efforts, "Oh how weighty
she is," says he. "But, my child, if you do not lend a helping hand,
we shall never reach it."

Alphana was sensible that he spoke truth, lent her assistance,
compassed getting on her legs, advanced towards that bed, at which she
had been so scared, partly on her own feet, and partly on the shoulders
of Hippomanes, to whom she pantingly said: "Surely I must have been
a great fool to come hither. I confided in your good conduct, and
your extravagance is quite unreasonable."--"Not at all," answered the
president, "not at all. You see that what I do is decent, very decent."

'Tis probable that they said many other genteel things of this sort;
but as the Sultan did not think proper to spend more time in attending
their conversation, those things are lost to posterity. What a pity!

CHAP. XXXIII.

_Sixteenth trial of the Ring._

The _Petits-Maitres._

Twice a week the favorite kept a drawing room. The preceding evening
she named the women whom she would willingly see, and the Sultan
gave the list of the men. The company always came richly dress'd.
The conversation was either general, or particular. When the amorous
history of the court fail'd of furnishing real diverting adventures,
stories were invented, and necessity sometimes compelled them to
run into bad tales; which were called a continuation of the Arabian
nights entertainments. The men had the privilege of saying all the
extravagant things that came into their heads, and the women that of
knotting, while they gave ear to them. At these meetings, the Sultan
and his favorite put themselves on a level with their subjects: their
presence gave no sort of check to whatever could amuse; and people
seldom found the time tedious. Mangogul had learned early in his life,
that pleasures are not to be found above the foot of the throne; and no
man descended from it with better grace, or knew how to put off majesty
more _à propos_.

While he was surveying the private lodge of the Senator Hippomanes,
Mirzoza waited for him in the rose-colour'd salon, with the youthful
Zaide, the chearful Leocris, the lively Serica, Amina and Benzaira,
the wives of two Emirs, Orphisa the prude, and Vetula the great
Seneschal's lady, temporal mother of all the Bramins. It was not
long before he appeared. He enter'd attended by count Hannetillon
and the chevalier Fadaes. Alciphenor an old rake, and his disciple
young Marmolin followed him; and two minutes after, arrived the Pacha
Grifgrif, the Aga Fortimbek, and the Selictar Velvet-Paw. These were
the most absolute _Petits-Maitres_ of the court. Mangogul call'd them
together designedly. Having heard a thousand stories of their gallant
exploits, he resolved to be informed in such a manner as might banish
all future doubt. "Well, gentlemen," says he to them, "ye whom nothing
escapes, that passes in the empire of gallantry, what news from thence?
how far are the Speaking Toys got."

"Sir," replied Alciphenor, "the racket they make encreases daily; and
if it continues, we shall soon not be able to hear ourselves. But
nothing is so diverting as the indiscretion of Zobeida's Toy. It has
given her husband a catalogue of her adventures." "And a prodigious
one," says Marmolin: "it mentions five aga's, twenty captains, almost
an entire company of janissaries, twelve Bramins: and they say that I
am named too, but that is a mere joke." "The best past of the affair
is," added Grifgrif, "that the affrighted husband ran away with his
fingers in his ears."

"This is quite horrible," said Mirzoza. "Yes, madam," interrupted
Fortimbek, "horrible, frightful, execrable." "More than all that, if
you please," replied the favorite, "to dishonor a woman upon hearsay."

"Madam, it is literally true, Marmolin has not added one word to the
story," says Velvet-Paw. "It is fact," says Grifgrif. "Good," says
Hannetillon, "there is an epigram already handed about concerning it,
and an epigram is not made for nothing." "But why should Marmolin
be safe from the prattle of the Toys? Cynara's Toy has insisted
on speaking in its turn, and to blend me with people, who do not
stake their all. But how to help that? The right thing is not, to
be disturbed at it," says Velvet-Paw. "You are right," answered
Hannetillon, and instantly fell to singing:

    "Mon bonheur fut si grand, que j'ai peine à le croire."

    My fortune was so great, that I can scarce believe it.

"Count," says Mangogul to Hannetillon, "then you have been particularly
acquainted with Cynara?"

"Sir," answered Velvet-Paw, "who doubts, it? He has walk'd with her
for more moons than one? they have been song'd; and all this would
have lasted to this day, if he had not at length discovered that she
was not handsome, and that she had a large mouth." "Allowed," replied
Hannetillon; "but that imperfection was ballanced by an uncommon
agreeableness."

"How long since this adventure?" ask'd the prude Orphisa. "Madam,"
replied Hannetillon, "its epoch is not present to my memory. I must
have recourse to the chronological tables of my good fortune. There
may be seen the day and minute: but 'tis a large volume, with which my
servants amuse themselves in the antichamber."

"Hold," says Alciphenor; "I recollect that it was precisely a year
after Grifgrif fell out with Madam la Seneschale. She has the memory
of an angel, and can tell you exactly."--"That nothing is more false
than your date," answered the Seneschal's lady gravely. "'Tis well
known that blockheads were never of my taste." "Yet, madam," replied
Alciphenor, "you will never persuade us, that Marmolin was excessively
wise, when he was conducted into your appartment by the back stairs,
whenever his highness summoned the Seneschal to council." "There can
be no greater extravagance in my opinion," added Velvet-Paw, "than to
enter into a woman's chamber by stealth, for nothing at all; for people
thought nothing more of his visits than what was really fact, and madam
was already in full enjoyment of that reputation of virtue, which she
has so well supported since that time."

"But that is an age ago," says Fadaes. "It was pretty much about that
same time that Zulica made a slip from the Selictar, who was her
humble servant, to take possession of Grifgrif, whom she drop'd six
months after; she is now got as far as Fortimbek. I am not sorry for
my friend's little stroke of good luck; I see her, I admire her, but
entirely without any pretensions."

"Yet Zulica," says the favorite, "is very amiable. She has wit, taste,
and something, I know not how, engaging in her countenance, which I
should prefer to charms." "I grant that, madam," answer'd Fadaes: "but
she is maigre, has no neck, and her thigh is so skinny, that it raises
one's pity."

"You are well acquainted with it, to be sure," added the Sultana. "Oh!
madam," replied Hannetillon, "you may guess that. I have visited Zulica
but seldom, and yet I know as much of that affair as Fadaes." "I can
easily believe you," says the favorite.

"But _à propos_, might one ask Grifgrif," says the Selictar, "if he
has been long in possession of Zirphila. There is what you may call a
pretty woman. She has an admirable shape." "And who doubts it!" added
Marmolin.

"How happy is the Selictar," continued Fadaes. "I give you Fadaes,"
interrupted the Selictar, "for the best provided gallant of the court.
To my knowledge he has the Visir's wife, the two prettiest actresses
of the opera, and an adorable _Grisette_, whom he keeps in his private
lodge." "And I," replied Fadaes, "would give up the Visir's wife,
the two actresses and the _Grisette_, for one glance from a certain
woman, with whom the Selictar is very well, and who has not the least
suspicion that the world knows it;" and then stepping up to Leocris,
says, "your blushes are ravishing.----"

"Hannetillon was a long time wavering," says Marmolin, "between Melissa
and Fatima, two charming women. One day he was for Melissa the fair,
the next for Fatima the nut-brown." "The poor man," continues Fadaes,
"was strangely embarassed: why did he not take them both?" "So he did,"
says Alciphenor.

Our _Petits-Maitres_ were, as you see, in a right cue not to stop
here, when Zobeida, Cynara, Zulica, Melissa, Fatima and Zirphila sent
in their names. This ill-timed circumstance disconcerted them for a
moment; but they soon recover'd from their ruffle, and fell on other
women, whom their detraction had hitherto spared, only because they had
not time to tear them to pieces.

Mirzoza, quite out of patience at their discourses, said: "Gentlemen,
considering the merit and probity in particular, which must needs be
allowed ye, it cannot be doubted but that you have enjoyed all the good
fortunes of which you boast. I must own nevertheless, that I would be
very glad to hear the Toys of these ladies on this head; and that I
would most heartily thank Brama, if he would deign to render justice to
truth by their mouths."

"That is to say," replies Hannetillon, "that madam would desire to hear
the same things twice over: well, to oblige her, we'll repeat them."

But Mangogul set about applying his ring in order of seniority: he
began by Madame la Seneschale, whose Toy cough'd three times, and
with a trembling and broken voice said: "To the great Seneschal I am
indebted for the first fruits of my pleasures: but I had not been his
property above six months, when a young Bramin gave my mistress to
understand, that a woman can do no injury to her husband, while she
thinks on him. I relished the moral, and thenceforward thought I might
with a safe conscience admit a senator, then a privy counsellor, then a
pontif, then one or two masters of Requests, then a musician"----"And
Marmolin?" says Fadaes.----"Marmolin," replies the Toy, "I know him
not, unless it be that young coxcomb, whom my lady ordered to be kick'd
out of her house, for some insolence, the particulars of which I have
forgot.----"

Cynara's Toy took up the discourse, and said: "Do you interrogate me
concerning Alciphenor, Fadaes, and Grifgrif? I have indeed been pretty
well served; but this is the first time that I ever heard these folks
named. However, I shall get some account of them from Amalek the Emir,
Telenor the Financier, or the Visir Abdiram, who know the whole world,
and are my good friends."

"Cynara's Toy is discreet," says Hannetillon: "it mentions not Zarafis,
Ahiram, the old Trebister, and the young Mahmoud, who is not made to
be forgotten; nor does it accuse the least Bramin, tho' it has been
running thro' the monasteries these twelve years."

"I have received some visits in my life," says Melissa's Toy, "but not
one from Grifgrif or Fortimbek, and much less still from Hannetillon."

"My little heart of a Toy," replied Grifgrif, "you are mistaken. You
may disclaim Fortimbek and me, but as to Hannetillon, he is better with
you than you allow. He has told me a word or two on the subject, and
he is a spark of the greatest veracity in Congo, a better man than any
of those whom you have known, and is still capable of establishing the
reputation of a Toy."

"The reputation of an impostor can no more escape him than his friend
Fadaes," says Fatima's Toy with a sob. "What have I done to these
monsters to dishonour me? The son of the Abyssinian Emperor came to
Erguebzed's court: I pleased him; he pursued me; but he would have
fail'd of success, and I should have continued faithful to my husband
whom I loved; had not the traitor Velvet-Paw and his base accomplice
Fadaes corrupted my women, and introduced the young prince into my
bath."

The Toys of Zirphila and Zulica, who had the same cause to defend,
spoke both at the same time, but with such rapidity, that it was
extremely difficult to render each of them its due.--"Favors!" cried
one----"To Velvet-Paw!" says the other----"Something may be said for
Zinzim"----"Cerbelon"----"Bemengel"----"Agarias"----"the French slave
Riqueli"----"the young Ethiopian Thezaca"----"But as for the insipid
Velvet-Paw"----"the insolent Fadaes"----"I swear by Brama"----"I call
the great Pagoda and the Genius Cucufa to witness"----"I know them
not"----"I never had the least dealings with them.----"

Zirphila and Zulica would have run on, God knows how far, if Mangogul
had not turn'd off his ring: but as this magic ring ceased acting on
them, their Toys closed their lips, and a profound silence succeeded
the noise they made. Then the Sultan rose up, and darting furious looks
on our young blockheads, said: "You have taken the liberty to defame
women whom you never had the honour of coming near, and who hardly know
your names. Who has made ye insolent enough to lie in my presence?
Tremble, wretches." At these words he grasped his cymeter: but the
screams of the affrighted ladies stop'd his hand. "I was going," says
Mangogul, "to give ye the death which you have merited: but the ladies,
whom you have injured, have a right to determine your fate: it shall
depend on them, either to crush ye, or to let ye live. Speak, ladies,
what are your commands?"

"That they live," says Mirzoza, "and hold their tongues, if possible."

"Live," replies the Sultan, "these ladies permit it: but if ever you
forget on what condition, I swear by my father's soul----"

Mangogul did not complete his oath; being interrupted by one of the
gentlemen of his bed-chamber, who inform'd him that the comedians were
ready. This prince had imposed it on himself as a law never to retard
the public diversions. "Let them begin," says he, and immediately gave
his hand to the favorite, whom he accompanied to her box.

CHAP. XXXIV.

_Seventeenth trial of the Ring._

The Comedy.

Had the taste of good declamation been known in Congo, there were some
comedians who might well be spared. Of thirty persons which composed
the band, there was but one great actor, and two tolerable actresses.
The genius of authors was obliged to comply with the mediocrity of the
greatest number; and there was no room to hope, that a play would be
performed with any tolerable success, without taking care to model the
characters on the defects of the comedians. This is what was meant in
my time by the custom of the stage. Formerly the actors were made for
the pieces; but now the pieces were made for the actors. If you offer'd
a new play, to be sure it underwent an examination, to know whether
the subject was engaging, the intrigue well connected, the characters
supported, and the diction pure and flowing: but if there were no parts
for Roscius and Amiana, it was refused.

The Kislar Agasi, superintendant of the Sultan's pleasures, had packed
a company of players together, as he could find them; and this was the
first representation of a new tragedy at the Seraglio. It was composed
by a modern author, who had gain'd such reputation, that tho' his piece
had been but a string of impertinences, it would assuredly have met
with a favorable reception. But he did not debase his character. His
work was well written, his scenes conducted with art, his incidents
managed with dexterity, the interest went on increasing, and the
passions in being developed. The acts, naturally link'd together, and
full, constantly held the audience in suspence with regard to the
sequel, and satisfied with what was past: and they were got to the
fourth act of this master-piece, to a very moving scene, which was
a preparation to another still more interesting; when Mangogul, in
order to save himself from the ridicule of listening to the tender
parts, pull'd out his glass, and acting the inattentive, surveyed the
several boxes. In the front box he observed a woman in great emotion,
but of an ill-timed sort, as having no relation to the piece. His
ring was instantly levelled at her, and in the midst of most pathetic
commendations, a Toy, panting for breath, was heard addressing the
player in these terms:

"Ah!----Ah!----Pray stop, Orgogli;----you melt me
excessively----Ah!----Ah!----There's no bearing it.----"

The audience listened, and look'd towards the place whence the voice
proceeded: and the word ran thro' the pit, that it was a Toy that
made the speech. "Which Toy," says one, "and what has it said?" And
without waiting for an answer, there was a general clap and cry:
_Encore, encore_. The author, who was behind the scenes, fearing that
this unlucky accident might interrupt the representation of his piece,
foamed with rage, and gave the whole race of Toys to Belzebub. The
noise was great and lasting; and had it not been for the respect due
to the Sultan, the play would have stop'd short at this incident: but
Mangogul made a sign for silence; the actors resumed their parts, and
went thro' the play.

The Sultan, curious to know the consequences of so public a
declaration, caused the Toy that made it, to be observed. Word was soon
brought him, that the player was to go from the stage to Eriphila's
house. He prevented him, thanks to the power of his ring, and was in
this lady's appartment when Orgogli sent in his name.

Eriphila was under arms, that is, in an amorous _deshabillé_, and
wantonly stretch'd on a couch. The comedian entered with a solemn,
haughty, insipid air of a conqueror. With the left hand he waved a
plain hat with a white feather in it, and caressed his nostrils and
upper lip with the tops of the fingers of his right hand, a very
theatrical gesture, which was admired by Connoisseurs. His bow was
cavalier, and his compliment familiar. "Oh! my queen," cried he, in an
affected tone, stooping to Eriphila, "what a trim you are in! But do
you know that in that careless garb you are adorable.----"

The tone of this scoundrel shock'd Mangogul. The prince was young,
and might possibly be ignorant of certain customs----"Then you like
me, my dear," answered Eriphila. "To ravishment, I tell you."--"That
gives me great joy. I wish you would repeat that passage which raised
such emotions in me a while ago. That passage----there----yes----it is
that same----How seducing a rogue he is?----But go on; that moves me
strangely."

In pronouncing these words, Eriphila darted such glances on her hero,
as bespoke every thing, and stretch'd out her hand to him, which the
impertinent Orgogli kissed by way of acquittance. Prouder of his talent
than of his conquest, he declaimed with emphasis, and the lady was so
enraptur'd, that one minute she conjur'd him to continue, and the next
to stop. Mangogul judging by her looks, that her Toy would willingly
play its part in this rehearsal, chose rather to guess at the rest of
the scene, than to be present at it. He disappear'd, and return'd to
the favorite, who expected him.

On the recital which the Sultan made her of this adventure,----"Prince,
what do you say?" cried she. "Then the women are fallen into the lowest
degree of meanness! A comedian, the slave of the public! A buffoon!
Well, if those folks had nothing against them but their state of life:
but most of them have neither morals nor sentiments; and even among
them, that Orgogli is but a machine. He has never thought, and if
he had not learn'd some parts in plays, perhaps he would never have
spoken.----"

"Delight of my heart," replied Mangogul, "you run into lamentations
without considering the matter sufficiently. Then have you forgot
Haria's pack? By Jove, a comedian, I think, is as good as a pug-dog."

"You say right, prince," resumed the favorite. "I am a fool for
interesting myself for creatures that do not deserve it. Let Palabria
idolize her boobies! Let Salica have her vapors treated by Farfadi
in her own way! Let Haria live and dye among her dogs! Let Eriphila
abandon herself to all the buffoons of Congo! What is all this to me?
I only risque a castle thereby. Nay, I perceive that I must have no
thoughts of it, and I have taken my resolution accordingly."

"Farewell then the little monkey," says Mangogul.

"Farewell the little monkey," replies Mirzoza; "and the good opinion
which I had conceived of my sex; I believe I shall never resume it.
Prince, you will allow me not to suffer a women to enter these doors
this fortnight at least."

"But you must have some company," added the Sultan.

"I shall enjoy your company, or please myself in expecting it," replied
the favourite: "and if any moments remain on my hands, I shall dispose
of them in favor of Ricaric and Selim, who are attached to me, and
whose conversation I love. When I happen to be tired of the erudition
of my lecturer, your courtier will divert me with the adventures of his
youth."

CHAP. XXXV.

_Conversation on literature._

The favorite loved men of genius, without pretending to be a genius
herself. On her toilette, among jewels and other female ornaments,
the novels and pamphlets of the time were to be met with, and she
talk'd of them wonderfully well. From a Cavagnol and Biribi she passed
with ease and propriety to the course of an academician, or other
learned man: and every body confessed, that the natural delicacy of
her understanding made her discover beauties or defects in those
several works, which had sometimes escaped their lucubrations. Mirzoza
astonished them by her penetration, embarrassed them by her questions;
but never abused the advantages which her wit and beauty gave her: and
people were not sorry for being detected in the wrong by her. Towards
the close of an evening, which she had passed with Mangogul, Selim
came, and she sent for Ricaric. The African author has reserved Selim's
character for another place: but he informs us here, that Ricaric was
a member of the academy of Congo; that his erudition had not hindered
him from being a man of wit; that he had acquired a profound knowledge
of former ages; that he had a scrupulous attachment to the ancient
rules which he cited eternally; that he was a machine by principles;
and that it was impossible to be a more zealous partisan of the first
writers of Congo; but more especially of one Miroufla, who, about 3040
years before, had composed a sublime poem in the Caffrian language, on
the conquest of a great forest, out of which the Caffres expelled the
monkeys, who were in possession of it from time immemorial. Ricaric
had translated it into Congese, and published a very beautiful edition
of it, illustrated with notes, Scholia, various readings, and all the
embellishments of a Benedictine edition. Besides, they had of him
two bad tragedies writ according to all the rules, a panegyric on
crocodiles, and some opera's.

"I bring you, madam," says Ricaric with a low bow, "a novel, which is
ascribed to the marchioness Tamazi; but in which we unluckily discover
the hand of Mulhazen, the answer of our president Lambadago to the
discourse of the poet Tuxigraphus, which we received yesterday; and
the Tamerlan of this last."

"This is admirable!" says Mangogul. "The press goes on incessantly; and
if the husbands of Congo performed their duty as well as the writers,
in less than ten years I might be enabled to set sixteen hundred
thousand men on foot, and promise myself the conquest of Monoémugi. We
will read the novel at leisure. Now let us see the harangue, especially
that part which relates to me."

Ricaric turn'd it over, and light on this passage. "The ancestors of
our august emperor have rendered themselves illustrious without doubt.
But Mangogul, greater than they, has prepared quite different subjects
of admiration for future ages. What do I say of admiration? Let us
speak more accurately; of incredulity. If our ancestors had cause to
assert, that posterity would esteem as fables the wonders of Kanaglou's
reign; how much more reason have we to think, that our descendants will
refuse credit to the prodigies of wisdom and valor, of which we are
witnesses?"

"My poor Mr. Lambadago," says the Sultan, "you are but retailer of
phrases. What I have reason to believe, is that your successors will
one day eclipse my glory by that of my son, as you make my father's
vanish before mine; and so on, as long as there will be one academician
left. What think you, Mr. Ricaric?"

"Prince, all that I can say," answered Ricaric, "is, that the passage
which I have read to your highness, was extremely relished by the
public."

"So much the worse," replied Mangogul. "Then the true taste of
eloquence is lost in Congo? It was not thus that the sublime Homilogo
praised the great Aben."

"Prince," said Ricaric, "true eloquence is nothing but the art of
speaking in a noble, and at the same time agreeable and perswasive
manner."

"Add, and sensible," continued the Sultan, "and upon this principle
judge your friend Lambadago. With all the respect that I have for
modern eloquence, he is but a false declaimer."

"But, prince," answered Ricaric, "without passing the bounds of that,
which I owe your highness, will you permit me----"

"What I give you full permission to do," replied Mangogul smartly, "is
to respect good sense beyond my highness, and to tell me sincerely, if
an eloquent man can ever dispense himself from shewing some signs of
it."

"No, prince," answered Ricaric, and he was going to string up a long
bead-roll of authorities, and cite all the rhetoricians of Afric, the
two Arabia's, and China, in order to prove the most incontestable thing
in the world, when he was interrupted by Selim.

"All your authors," said the courtier, "will never prove that Lambadago
is not a very awkward and indecent haranguer. Pray, Mr. Ricaric, excuse
these expressions. I honour you in a singular manner; but indeed,
laying aside the prejudice of confraternity, can you avoid allowing
with us, that, as the Sultan now reigning is just, amiable, beneficent,
and a great warrior, he does not stand in need of the embroidery of
your rhetoricians, to be as great as his ancestors; and that a son, who
is exalted by depressing his father and grandfather, would be very
ridiculously vain, if he were not sensible, that in embellishing him
with one hand, he is disfigured by the other. In order to prove that
Mangogul is as well-made a man as any of his predecessors, do you think
it necessary to knock off the heads of the statues of Erguebzed and
Kanaglou?"

"Mr. Ricaric," says Mirzoza, "Selim is in the right. Let every one
enjoy what belongs to him, and let us not make the public suspect, that
our panegyrics are a sort of robberies committed on the memory of our
fathers: declare this from me in the next full meeting of the academy."

"People are too long in possession of this custom," replied Selim, "to
expect any benefit from this advice."

"I believe, Sir, that you are mistaken," said Ricaric to Selim. "The
academy is still the sanctuary of good taste; and its best times do
not afford us either philosophers or poets, whom we cannot match at
this day. Our stage has passed, and may still pass for the first stage
of Africa. Oh! what a work is the Tamerlane of Tuxigraphus! 'Tis the
pathetic of Eurisope, and the loftiness of Azopha. 'Tis antiquity quite
pure."

"I saw," said the favorite, "the first representation of Tamerlane;
and join with you in thinking the work well conducted, the dialogue
elegant, and the propriety of characters well observed."

"What difference, madam," interrupted Ricaric, "between such an author
as Tuxigraphus, fatted with the perusal of the ancients, and most part
of our moderns."

"Yet these moderns," said Selim, "whom you demolish here at your ease,
are not so contemptible as you pretend. What, don't you find genius,
invention, fire, details, characters, and fine strokes of wit in them?
And of what importance are rules to me, provided a writer pleases me?
Certainly it is neither the observations of the wise Almudir and the
learned Abaldok, nor the art of poetry of the deep-read Facardin, which
I have never perused, that makes me admire the pieces of Aboulcazem,
Muhardar, Albaboukre, and many other Sarracens! Is there any other rule
but the imitation of nature; and have we not as good eyes as those who
studied her?"

"Nature," answered Ricaric, "presents us with different faces every
instant. They are all true, but all are not equally beautiful. It is
in these works, on which you seem not to set any great value, that we
should learn to choose. They are collections of their own experiments,
and also of those which had been made before them. Whatever
strength of understanding a person may have, things must be observed
successively; and one man cannot hope to see in the short course of
his life, all that had been discovered to his time. Otherwise we may
assert, that any one science might owe its birth, progress, and utmost
perfection to one head: which is contrary to experience."

"Mr. Ricaric," replied Selim, "the only consequence that I can draw
from your argument is, that as the moderns are in possession of
treasures amassed up to their times, they must be richer than the
ancients; or, if this comparison displeases you, that as they are
raised on the shoulders of those giants, they ought to see farther than
them. And in fact, what is their natural philosophy, their astronomy,
their navigation, their mechanics, their calculations, in comparison
of ours? And why may not our eloquence and poesy have the superiority
likewise?"

"Selim," said the Sultana, "Ricaric will, at some proper time, give you
the reasons of this difference. He will tell you why our tragedy is
inferior to that of the ancients: for my part, I willingly undertake
to shew you, that it is so. I will not accuse you," continued she, "of
not having read the ancients. Your mind is too well adorned, to be
ignorant of their stage. Now, abstracting from certain notions relative
to their customs, manners and religion, which shock you purely because
circumstances are changed; you will allow that their subjects are
noble, well-chosen, and interesting; that the action naturally develops
itself; that their dialogue is simple, and very near nature; that the
unravelling of their plot is not strained; that the interest is not
divided, nor the action overloaded with episodes. Transport yourself in
idea to the isle of Alindala; examine every thing that passes there;
attend to all that is said, from the moment that young Ibrahim and
the crafty Forfanti landed thereon: approach the cave of the wretched
Polipsile; lose not a word of her complaints; and then tell me, if any
one circumstance draws you out of the illusion. Name me a modern piece
that can bear the same examination, and pretend to the same degree of
perfection; and I grant you the victory."

"By Brama," cried the Sultan, yawning, "madam has made an academical
dissertation."

"I do not understand the rules," continued the favorite; "and much
less the learned words, in which they are expressed: but I know that