Status of this document
This Note was produced by the W3C TV-Web Interest Group. It is the result
of discussions on URI schemes suited for use in TV Broadcast environments. The
document reflects preliminary results, and is intended to serve as a base to
further work to design TV Broadcast URIs. Please send comments to the TV-Web
mailing list<EMAIL_ADDRESS>This version is an update of the version dated 19 October 1999, fixing a wrong link.
Publication of a W3C Note does not imply endorsement by the entire W3C
Membership. A list of current W3C technical reports and publications,
including Working Drafts and Notes, can be found at http://www.w3.org/TR.
This section represents the status of
this document at the time this version was published. It will become outdated
if and when a new version is published.
Table of Contents
- Abstract
- 1. TV Broadcast: Definition and scope
- 2. Application Scenarios
- 3. Requirements on Global TV Broadcast URI
schemes
- 4. Exceptions in TV Broadcast URIs
- References
This document is an informational document and discusses the requirements
posed to URI schemes for identifying resources in Television (TV) Broadcast
environments. The document is the outcome of discussions on this subject by
the W3C TV-Web Interest Group [TVWebIG, TVWebMail].
Typical use cases are summarized where TV Broadcast URIs are involved. A
distinction is made between Global and Local usage. Also, a hierarchy of
resource types is identified. Requirements related to the Global usage case
are listed.
Definition of TV Broadcast
In this document TV Broadcast is used as the generic term to refer
to currently existing TV systems, their transport protocols, and their typical
operation of content provision and distribution. TV Broadcast concerns both
digital and analog systems and includes systems like DVB, ATSC, DSS, NTSC, and
PAL. The TV Broadcast "network layer" is typically non-IP based.
The term TV Broadcast URI refers to URIs which identify, and
possibly locate, TV Broadcast content. In this document "URI" is used
to indicate TV Broadcast URI.
Typically, TV Broadcast systems are push systems. The content streamed
along a TV Broadcast transport is scheduled by the service provider; the user
has no influence on that. In this model the user accesses the stream(s) rather
than the server at the upstream station.
Hierarchy in TV Broadcast content
TV Broadcast content is modeled in a four-layer hierachy, consisting of
service, event, component, and fragment. Service is at the top, fragment is at
the bottom of the hierarchy.
The term service is used to refer to a concatenation of programs,
all being broadcast by the same service provider. The programs of a service
share some tuning characteristics. Service corresponds to the naming "channel"
as used in today's analog TV.
The term event is used to refer to a single TV program. An event
consumes a time period within a service and therefore can be characterized
with begin and end times. The service provider determines the granularity in
which the service is split in events. An event can be a complete program or an
episode of a program. Events can be grouped in series, e.g., to form a serial.
Events are the typical entities which EPGs list to present program schedule
information.
The term component is used to refer the constituents of an event.
The audio and video of a TV program are obvious examples. In case of
multilingual programs there are multiple audio components. In case of
interactive programs the components are the application documents and the
other data these applications are using. Next to continuous data like audio
and video, component also encompasses discrete data like Web pages and
applications describing composition and interactivity. The URI identifying an
application can constitute the base URI for the further components referenced
by that application.
The term fragment is used to refer to a subpart of a component.
For instance, it can be a slice of a video sequence, or a subregion in an
image.
Due to the push character of TV Broadcast there are two dimensions of
hierarchy, a schedule related and a content related. The first is the
hierarchy of transport system, transport stream, service, series, event; The
second is the hierarchy of series, event, component, fragment.
The term resource is to be understood as in RFC 2396, sec.1.1
[RFC2396]. In the context of TV Broadcast a resource refers to the entities
service, event, component, and fragment in particular.
Setting and usage of TV Broadcast URIs
TV Broadcast applications need a mechanism to identify and locate the
components building the application. The URI scheme is a useful tool for that
as it opens possibilities for seamless transition in referencing resources at
TV Broadcast transport and Internet sites. URI schemes to locate resources at
the Internet are well-known, and are not further observed in this document.
URI schemes to locate resources in a TV Broadcast transport channel have been
proposed, but most are designed with a particular TV Broadcast transport
environment in mind.
Next to locating components at TV Broadcast transport channels, another
aspect of TV Broadcast URIs concerns referencing the events. In the first
place, events are accessible at the TV Broadcast transport channel, possibly
at several channels and at multiple periods of time. The above mentioned URI
schemes also address this aspect, but all in their own way. In the second
place, the content may be stored and made available through another path than
the TV Broadcast transport channel. Most evident are local storage, like
VCR-type of devices, and the Internet itself. Local storage devices can be
connected through an in-home network to the user agent presenting the
application. Local storage in the sense of the client's local file system or
in the sense of cache buffering are not observed in this document.
TV Broadcast content delivered through a so-called IP-tunnel is considered
as content made available through the Internet. An IP-tunnel refers to a
forwarding path which is logically separated from the conventional TV
Broadcast transport protocol but uses the same physical transmission link.
Application types, further definition and scope
Applications can be distinguished in usage of URIs for Global and Local
scope.
Global refers to URIs contained in documents which can be accessed
anywhere around the world, and which identify content related to any TV
Broadcast system in the world, including storage devices associated with that
TV Broadcast system. Such a global URI may include identification of the TV
Broadcast system to be used.
Local refers to URIs contained in documents which are accessed
within a certain TV Broadcast system, and which identify content to be
accessed through that TV Broadcast system. URIs that reference content outside
the local TV Broadcast system, are assumed to be either Global URIs or
traditional URIs for locating resources at the Internet.
This document concentrates on Global URIs, as those have a world-wide
interest for standardization. It would be nice when Local URIs bear an
identical format, but that is considered not a necessary requirement. Local
URIs can be specified within their respective application domains. On the
other hand, it would be nice when Global URIs can serve as a base URI for
Local URIs, either as direct copy or by some mapping function.
Further, URIs can be distinguished in identifying a service or event, and
in identifying a particular content item (component or fragment) in such a
service or event. This reflects the two dimensions observed above of schedule
related and content related hierarchy. The use cases where a content item in a
certain service is to be identified while the context isn't already that
service, seem rare. Consequently, a URI is not required to carry both
informations (service and content item) together.
This distinction suggests that identification of a particular content item
belongs to the Local class of URIs, and that Global URIs typically identify a
service or an event. However, an exception can be found in the case where the
same content item is referenced in various transport contexts, e.g. in a
commercial.
An important class of Global URIs identify their resource in a location and
time independent way, i.e. independent of the particular TV Broadcast
transport system and particular schedule. For instance, they are also valid
after local storage. As such, they resemble URN behavior, opposed to URL
behavior.
As the set of resources and their various locations can scale to large
numbers, it is preferred that the URI scheme imposes a hierarchical structure,
certainly when the URI's purpose is to locate a resource. A hierarchy allows
for step-by-step resolution and navigation to the resource identified. By
that, efficiency and scalability is improved. Further, implying a hierarchical
structure allows to group resources, and by that to distinguish between, for
example, in identifying a serial and an event in that serial.
Use cases, both Local and Global URI
Below, some representative use cases are listed. An exhaustive list of
application scenarios is provided in [USECASES].
- Basic EPG type of locating:
Reference TV Broadcast services and events from a Web page for navigating
to them. The references are tolerant to modifications in the actual
transmission schedule, but a coarse indication can be derived. The
broadcast program can be indicated through tuning data or through naming.
Next to navigation to the program, the EPG also supports for setting
reminders or recording of programs. Instead of a single program, the
serial of which the program is part, is referred to, such that setting a
reminder or a recording for all episodes can be accomplished.
It is the year 2002. Fox is broadcasting a World Cup game from South Korea
in both analog and digital formats, with the broadcast reaching North
America, Europe, Africa, Asia, Latin America, Australia, etc., through a
wide variety of local affiliates and re-broadcast operators. Fox wishes
to put a hyperlink to the broadcast on its web site, so that users of
Internet-connected TV receivers all over the world with the right software
(perhaps native, perhaps downloaded) can click on the hyperlink and have
their receivers tune to the broadcast (or set a reminder for the
broadcast, if the game is not currently on).
- A sports fanatic wants to watch all the above broadcasts by Fox.
Therefore he records all the broadcasts and copies the above Fox World Cup
page to his local disc. From that page he can access the broadcasts or,
when they have been recorded, view them from his recording device. At its
site Fox also provides the transmitted broadcasts, albeit at high
compression rates. The page will direct users who haven't recorded the
broadcast to these videos.
- A Web page is composed for presentation on a TV Broadcast receiver. The
Web page is delivered in association with a TV Broadcast program (the
transmission paths may be physically separated). The Web page includes an
object which refers to the associated audio/video image of the TV
broadcast program.
- In a Web page a TV Broadcast event is referred, but the exact location
is not known at authoring time. The URI is incomplete in its information.
Instead a query is added to retrieve the missing information. When the
available TV Broadcast system supports the query mechanism, the URI can be
resolved and the identified resource can be retrieved. The query language
is technology-independent, i.e. it is not relying on specific fields, such
as SI data, in the TV Broadcast transmission system.
Examples are:
dtv://?program=X-Files
dtv://ABC/?lang=sp
- A TV Broadcast of a soccer match is data-enhanced; in a data carousel
module or an encapsulated IP datagram a file is contained which gives
up-to-the-second statistics on goals scored, fouls committed, corner kicks
taken, shots at goal, shots on goal, etc. The broadcaster wants to put a
URI on their web site which references this file, allowing applications on
Internet-connected TV receivers all over the world to get to the file and
display it in nifty ways.
- A data file is transmitted along with a TV program, the data file is
containing additional information to that program. It also contains
hyperlinks to the programs and/or data in other data files being broadcast
on the same channel and in other channels, so that receivers can set
reminders for the upcoming game and/or data file.
- A Web page is transmitted with a TV Broadcast commercial. The commercial
is about an upcoming TV Broadcast program. The viewer can click a hotspot
area such as to set a reminder for that program. The Web page can also be
accessed at the broadcaster's Web site.
- A set of three Web page is transmitted with a TV Broadcast commercial.
The viewer can navigate the three pages. The pages are transmitted
frequently along various TV Broadcast systems. The pages can also be
accessed at the advertiser's Web site, where they are maintained at a
particular sub directory. Therefore, the advertiser uses relative
referencing between the pages.
- A live quiz show is enhanced such that the viewer can play along. The
enhancement data are a mixture of Web pages, which compose the quiz's
question and answer environment, element values, which carry the actual
questions and (correct) answers to be inserted in the Web pages, and
procedural cells to control the viewer's score. The Web pages are provided
at a Web site long before the show is aired, such that viewers can
prepare. The element values are transported along the TV Broadcast
transmission channel during the show. They are synchronized with the
actions in the show such as to complete and update the application.
There are several levels of play along: some pages provide the viewer with
hints such as to ease answering, and some pages provide less alternatives
in the multiple choice questions. The viewer can select his level by
navigating between these pages.
Upon the actual broadcast an application is broadcast with the program to
initiate the enhancement. The application references the Web site, such
that upon tuning to the TV Broadcast the Web site's home page gets
retrieved. Triggered by stream events in the TV Broadcast transport
stream, the application also controls the insertion of element values
(questions and answers) and the score management (e.g., no score increment
after answer presentation).
- A Web site provides a EPG covering programs transmitted world-wide. A
viewer is visiting this site and browses the EPG. Upon encountering his
favorite movie "Once upon a time in the Cyber" he clicks the item on the
EPG. Regretfully, the movie isn't scheduled for the 419 TV Broadcast
satellites his receiver is configured to. Instead of setting a reminder,
the receiver informs the user the movie will not appear on his reception
links.
Conventions used in this document
In this document three levels of priority are used to indicate the
desirability of a requirement.
- MUST
- The key word "MUST" is to be understood as an essential and critical
requirement.
- SHOULD
- The key word "SHOULD" indicates an important requirement.
- MAY
- The key word "MAY" indicates a useful feature.
[These key words and their meaning are based upon RFC 2119 [RFC2119]. That
RFC specifies similar wording for implementation compliance with a protocol
specification. In this document the wording reflects specification compliance
with protocol goals.]
Requirements
- The URI scheme MUST comply with RFC 2396 [RFC2396].
- Where the URI serves as a name identifier (URN), the corresponding URN
specifications MUST be taken into account, e.g. [RFC2141, RFC2168].
- Where the URI serves as a locator identifier (URL), the definition of
the URI scheme MUST follow the guidelines as set forth in [URLGUIDE].
- The URI MAY support queries to be posed to the TV Broadcast receiver.
The query language MUST be independent to the TV Broadcast system.
- The URI scheme SHOULD support relative referencing such that a
TV-program with all its associated resources can be referenced against a
common base, which is the TV Broadcast URI of that aggregate.
- Where the URI serves as a locator identifier (URL), the URI scheme
SHOULD include a hierarchical structure either to identify the resoure as
a service or an event from a service, or to identify the resource as an
event, a component from an event, or a fragment from a component. The
structure SHOULD provide optional levels to group events into series or
serials and to group components into composites.
Where the URI serves as a name identifier (URN), the URI scheme MAY
include such hierarchical structure.
- The URI scheme SHOULD support the spectrum of transport protocols
applied and standardized in TV Broadcast systems. This includes both
audio/video and data broadcast protocols.
- A URI MUST be invariant with respect to the normal range of transport
stream transformations along the path from provider to user, both in
referencing the time and the location of the resource in that transport
stream.
- Given a URI, it MUST be possible for a receiver to actually locate the
resource, or conclude that it is not reachable.
- A URI MUST be meaningful when interpreted, independent of the
transmission context in which the URI is called. Transmission context
refers to a coherent set of content streams as they arrive at the
receiver. An example is a set of TV broadcast services sharing a same
physical connection; another is an Internet connection. In case the
context is the same transmission system as in which the content is
located, the URI MUST be resolvable.
- Where the URI serves as a name identifier (URN), it SHOULD be resolvable
under any of the following network access conditions:
- TV Broadcast
- Internet
- In Home/local storage
The actual resource's retrieved content data MAY differ in terms of
content encoding, content quality, performance, and edit version.
- Where the URI serves as a name identifier (URN), the scheme MUST support
referencing various instantiations of the same content (encoding,
quality/compression ratio, versions/edits).
- Any actual scheme SHOULD be coordinated with standardisation bodies such
as ATSC, DVB, and DAVIC, and SHOULD be reasonably acceptable to those
bodies.
- The URI scheme MUST interoperate with the Internet access schemes, such
as to enable seamless transition in referencing resources at TV Broadcast
or Internet sites.
TV Broadcast differs from the conventional Internet in several ways. The TV
Broadcast URI scheme is affected by that in the following aspects:
- The host is not necessarily a server identifiable through an IP-address.
For instance, the "host" is a transport stream.
- The resource access and retrieval scheme is not necessarily IP-stack
based.
- The resource's availability implicitly depends on, or at least relates
to, a transmission schedule.
Because TV Broadcast is a resource constrained environment, it is
worthwhile to keep the length of the URI limited. This document does not pose
a requirement on a maximum length of a TV Broadcast URI. It is left to the
particular application domain to specify such limitations.
- [RFC2119]
Key words for use in RFCs to Indicate Requirement Levels,
- RFC 2119, S. Bradner. March 1997.
- [TVWebIG] W3C TVWeb Interest
Group,
- Group page of the W3C TV-Web IG. Philipp Hoschka.
- [TVWebMail]
TV-Web Mail Archives,
- Threads starting with messages 0040, 0041, and 0046. Oct/Nov 1998.
<http://lists.w3.org/Archives/Public/www-tv/>.
- [RFC2396]
Uniform Resource Identifiers (URI): Generic Syntax,
- RFC 2396, T. Berners-Lee, R. Fielding, L. Masinter. Aug. 1998.
- [RFC2141]
URN Syntax,
- RFC 2141, R. Moats. May 1997.
- [RFC2168]
Resolution of Uniform Resource Identifiers using the Domain Name
System,
- RFC 2168, R. Daniel, M. Mealling. June 1997.
- [URLGUIDE]
Guidelines for new URL Schemes,
- Internet-Draft, L. Masinter, H.T. Alvestrand, D. Zigmond, R. Petke.
March 1999.
- [USECASES]
Applications list,
- Posting to the TV-Web IG, C. Finseth. December 1998.


Designed to aid both academic researchers and asset managers in conducting factor based portfolio sorts. Provides functionality to sort assets into portfolios for up to three factors via a conditional or unconditional sorting procedure.
| Version: | 0.1.0 |
| Depends: | xts, zoo, R (≥ 2.10) |
| Imports: | stats |
| Suggests: | PortfolioAnalytics, PerformanceAnalytics, knitr |
| Published: | 2018-09-30 |
| Author: | Alex Dickerson [aut,cre], Jonathan Spohnholtz [aut,cre] |
| Maintainer: | Alex Dickerson <a.dickerson at warwick.ac.uk> |
| License: | GPL-2 | GPL-3 [expanded from: GPL (≥ 2)] |
| NeedsCompilation: | no |
| CRAN checks: | portsort results |
| Reference manual: | portsort.pdf |
| Vignettes: |
portsort |
| Package source: | portsort_0.1.0.tar.gz |
| Windows binaries: | r-devel: portsort_0.1.0.zip, r-release: portsort_0.1.0.zip, r-oldrel: portsort_0.1.0.zip |
| OS X binaries: | r-release: portsort_0.1.0.tgz, r-oldrel: portsort_0.1.0.tgz |
Please use the canonical form https://CRAN.R-project.org/package=portsort to link to this page.


Welcome to BurgerOnline
Select Burger
This is where you execute burger selection
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- {{b1Calories}}
- Contains Gluten
- Contains Lactose
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- {{b2Calories}}
- Contains Gluten
- Contains Lactose
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- {{b3Calories}}
- Contains Gluten
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This is where you provide neccesary information
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 Every year, engineers create more devices to integrate with the Internet. This network of networks crisscrosses the globe and even extends into space. But what makes it work?
To understand the Internet, it helps to look at it as a system with two main components. The first of those components is hardware.
Other types of hardware that support the Internet include routers, servers, cell phone towers, satellites, radios, smartphones and other devices. All these devices together create the network of networks. The Internet is a malleable system -- it changes in little ways as elements join and leave networks around the world. Some of those elements may stay fairly static and make up the backbone of the Internet. Others are more peripheral.
These elements are connections. Some are end points -- the computer, smartphone or other device you're using to read this may count as one. We call those end points clients. Machines that store the information we seek on the Internet are servers. Other elements are nodes which serve as a connecting point along a route of traffic. And then there are the transmission lines which can be physical, as in the case of cables and fiber optics, or they can be wireless signals from satellites, cell phone or 4G towers, or radios.
All of this hardware wouldn't create a network without the second component of the Internet: the protocols. Protocols are sets of rules that machines follow to complete tasks. Without a common set of protocols that all machines connected to the Internet must follow, communication between devices couldn't happen. The various machines would be unable to understand one another or even send information in a meaningful way. The protocols provide both the method and a common language for machines to use to transmit data


CHAPTER 359
STATE HOUSING PROJECTS
REPEALED. L 1987, c 337, §13; L 1997, c 350, §18; L 1998, c 212, §47.
Note
L 1998, c 2, §93 purports to amend §359-80.
Cross References
For present provisions, see chapter 356D.


LED display applet was based on my senior project when I was in the University of Texas. My senior project was to build a micro-controller based LED display. The display can show at least 12 characters at a time and can hold up to 64 characters in total. Since Java has become a very hot language, I decided to transform my old project to a new and interactive applet
LED display applet can show up to 16 characters at a time and can hold
data up to 20 messages. The user can also configure the scrolling
directions for the messages and colors for each messages. Interested? Want to
install this applet into your page? Like to
see what people
think about this applet?
Parameters
There are three parameters available for this applet.
To install the LED applet, follow this instructions:
Special Feature
As a reference, when you click your mouse anywhere in the applet, you will go to this homepage.
See the sample page.
Please sign your name in my
guestbook.
Thank you


âTMª I'll end in AJ's podcast for your Monday âTMª
âTMª Most wonderful show is âTMª
âTMª Keeping up with the Joneses âTMª
- All right, 237 baby, hit it.
- Welcome to episode 237 of Keeping Up with the Joneses.
- And literally we're keeping up with the Joneses
because you've been gone, and I've just thinking,
just before we even started, you came back,
what a couple of days ago, and we haven't stopped.
I'm even seeing this is the first time for us to sit down and talk.
And so we spent a week apart.
How the heck was your week?
Age of Jones.
It was great.
It was really good.
Tell the good people where you were.
I was at the beach.
I love the beach.
Um, yes, I was suffering for Jesus in Destin, Florida.
Uh, we took our small group leaders away for a retreat to thank them for
spending a year of their lives on other people.
And we just eat good food and.
Have fun.
-Yeah. -But you had a great time?
-Had such a good time. -No sunburn.
-No sunburn. -No craziness in Florida.
-Well, remember I have a hat, so...
-I like that again. -I didn't get a sunburn because I wore my hat.
-Good girl. Your dermatologist would be proud of you.
-It's so proud of me. Yes, no, it was fun. It was great.
-Nothing to report. -I got two new bathing suits, which I'm excited about.
-Okay, this is why you won a membership. Let's model them.
-I know, but I'll show you them later.
Okay, great.
Two new bathing suits.
All right, well, you're back.
I've really missed you.
Five days without you, five nights, six days without you.
You're making it bigger.
Yeah.
It was two weeks without you.
It was so long.
I was gone for months.
Soldier dawn.
Yeah.
It was the winter of discontent.
You were gone for three months.
For me, the kids somehow managed to survive.
It's just amazing.
Didn't you text me on Saturday?
both of them are being dreadful that we're home and you wanted to lock them in their rooms.
I don't remember that.
I think it was a glorious moment of parenting.
No, I remember it was.
Yeah, it was classic sabotage, which I don't know if I set myself up parents.
I don't know if you do this, but you like for me as a dad Saturday, I want to do something fun for the kids.
And Abby was at a youth conference all day.
But for my two younger kids, I was like, let's do a movie.
And I just feel like I set myself up every time, not every time,
but a lot of times I set myself up.
And I don't know if I've just got this mystical imagination
of what it's going to be like.
And because they don't match my expectations, it's sabotaged
or whether they really sabotaged it.
But it all worked out well.
They were complaining about having to watch a movie.
And so I was like, fine, yeah, go tidy your bedrooms
and scrub your toilets.
And then let's see if that changes your mind.
I was in about 20 minutes.

And then they enjoy it.
And then they actually liked the movie.
because when I got home, they were like,
you have to watch, what was it maybe called?
- It's called the Mitchells versus the Machines.
- Okay.
- And it's a really sweet movie.
It's Netflix, I've made it.
I did something that I should know better,
but I was about 95% of the way through the video
and tweeted out, oh, this is such a great movie.
And then I think it was a post-credit scene,
there was something that I was like,
I actually don't wanna lend my endorsement.

- But most kids wouldn't even pick it up,
but still just a great fun story.
But if you're watching it with the younger kids,
there's a post credit scene where,
I think you'd miss it if you're not paying attention.
I missed it, wait till the kids are upstairs,
watched it re-back with subtitles
and my suspicions were confirmed.
But aside from that, great movie.
I wouldn't let that distract from the movie.
- Okay.
- So you were in Florida.
- You were single parenting.
- I mean--
- I don't think we can make a big enough deal about that.
- I think we've already made a big enough deal about it.
- I was brave.
You're so brave, babe.
So proud of you.
(laughs)
- Anything else?
- Our children are man-eating.
You have no idea how brave this was.
No, just kidding.
You have the new course coming up.
- Yeah, we launched the boundaries course last week,
the Boundary Summer School,
which I'm super excited about.
This coming Sunday is going to be the actual first live event.
You have still got time.
This episode comes out on a Monday.
The registration is closing on the Wednesday of the same week, Wednesday,
May 19th at midnight.
If you've not already reserved your spot on the boundary summer school,
I would love you to do that.
I would hate for you to be disappointed and realize, I missed out on this.
Um, yeah, I'm really excited.
I'm taking people through the boundary course,
which is the standalone video series that I've produced.
And then I'll be personally coaching people on a live group call each Sunday
for five weeks.
And then as if that wasn't fun enough, we've built an online community for people who are
doing the Boundary Summer School to get to know everybody else's on the Boundary Summer
School to be able to ask questions, to be able to share.
Like an open forum kind of thing?
Well, it's not open.
It's closed only for the people on the school.
Right.
But yeah, they can share their success stories.
I'm really, really excited about it.
So if you're interested in learning about boundaries, if you're interested in upgrading
the quality of your relationships. If you're interested in lowering anxiety from interpersonal
stress, I'd really, really encourage you to come do the school with me. It's five weeks
long, two hours a week for five weeks. They'll set up your summer for a glorious fruitfulness.
Woo hoo.
Speaking of glorious transformation in the interpersonal arena, our topic this week.
We're speaking of glorious, I guess we were. Sure, we were.
Well, I mean, the boundary is going to gloriously transform your interpersonal relationships.
Hey, my segue was smooth.
- Oh, it's good.
- You see nothing.
Our topic this week is all about emotional health.
- Oh.
- Well, you know, when I was doing that Instagram survey,
what should I write a book on?
Somebody said, "Emotional health,
"I changed the title to, are you emotionally dying?"
- Oh, well, that went dark.
(laughs)
- How's that for a great catchy title?
- Yes.
- Are you emotionally dying?
- At the moment, I feel okay.
(laughs)
It's been a wild year and a bit.
There's been plenty of opportunities for emotional death,
dismemberment and--
Or just denial.
I don't feel anything.
I'm OK.
I don't feel anything.
No.
Yeah.
I was thinking about my journey into the topic
of emotional health earlier.
I was thinking about raised in an environment
or a culture that really praised denial.
Like, no, there's nothing wrong.
Everything's fine.
Everything's fine.
No, nothing's on fire.
And then my first kind of nudge towards emotional health from that denial was inner healing
which
Now I realize I just relegated to the spiritual realm didn't think about it from an emotional realm
But thought about you know learn about inner healing
Which I thought was you know great because it helped me stay in denial. I don't think inner healing helps people stay in denial
I'm saying inner healing helped me in the stronghold of no everything's fine. I
I don't understand. Yeah, let me be very very clear. I'm a huge fan of inner healing
I'm not saying inner healing is ineffective
I'm saying if you approach inner healing with a stronghold that you don't really need to care about your emotions
Ah, then inner healing is great at dealing with the things that are pesky enough to remind you that you have emotions
I've an ungodly belief that makes me sad great. Get rid of the ungodly belief
So I don't have to be sad anymore and don't have to be aware of my emotions
For me, right? I still believe in under healing. I think it's very very effective. Let me be clear
But my understanding of it was somewhat limited.
So denial, inner healing, and then throwing boundaries,
you know, learning about boundaries,
and then counseling, right?

Then group therapy, then into all this work about feelings
that we did a 10 part series all about feelings.
And now on appreciation, like even with feelings,
I approached feelings the same way I approached inner healing.
Oh, let's do this feelings work
so that I don't have to have any more feelings.
- That's awesome.
- Into a place of understanding that emotional health
is really good because you were an emotional
and spiritual being,
create for connection and it's very hard to have connection
if you were trying to numb your emotions.
- Yes.
- All right, podcast is done.
- Those are great, so much.
- Oh, I'm just thinking about that story arc
and that curve and wow, like if you don't have a value
on emotional wellbeing, then you can still make use
of all these tools and not become emotionally alive.
- Sure, absolutely.
- I'm curious about your journey to emotional wellbeing.
Can you think like if I talk about my story arc,
what was yours?
- I don't know.
I mean, throughout, like me as a kid, teenager,
I basically squashed down everything that I felt
and just tried not to feel anything,
but was almost always angry
and then struggled with eating disorders
and what did you just give us coming in?
- Did you know you were right?
- Oh yeah. - Oh you did?
- Oh yeah.
Almost all the time.

I was really angry, but it wasn't okay to be angry.
- In your environment, so don't have any feelings.
- Well, it certainly wasn't safe for me to be angry
growing up because everybody else was so angry.
And so it was safer to disappear and feel nothing
and or try and feel nothing.
And then when I was, you know, after I got saved at 15,
but with no inner healing tools or anything like that
and was more approaching my walk with the Lord
of using scripture to shove down when I was feeling.
- Right.

- Yeah.
- You know, and that,
and you know, I'm like,
- No, it's fine, I don't know.
- It's gonna be behind me.
So did you like my sound effects?
- I did.
- It's so good.
- You're growing in as a fully artist, it's beautiful.
So then I would say that was sort of my next stage.
In the renewal, it was hard not to feel emotions.
- Well, tell a story about the first time
you turned up at the church,
'cause still my favorite story.
- When I got stuck to the floor?
- No, predates that.
- Oh, that one.
- Father, I want you to hold me.
- Oh, yes.
(laughs)
Yes, so I mean, it was, you want me to actually tell?
- Tell me actual stories.
- I love that story.
I've heard it a thousand times.
It's still all my favorite stories.
- Okay, so the short version is I got hijacked by a friend.
We were going to another church
and I was planning to kill myself.
Like I was getting everything sort of sorted out
and I had written all the letters
and I had them all placed properly in the place
where I had asked my roommate,
if anything ever happens to me, check this box.
Like I was getting things ready.
Nice, right?
And going to a church where I didn't really feel
like people saw me.
- Right, was an emotional health a priority
in that environment?
- Oh no. - No, okay.
- No. - Great.
I mean, they were nice people.
- Sure, of course.
- So then a friend of mine, she'd heard about
the Toronto Airport Vineyard Christian Fellowship.
And she had a friend that went there
and she just kept saying like,
hey, do you wanna go check this out?
'Cause she was the one that drove all the time,
but she was really, really quiet and shy.
And I was like, no Sandy, I don't wanna go.

I don't want to go Sandy, of course, I don't want to go someplace new.

So anyway, one Sunday she picked me up and started driving the absolute wrong way on the
401, which is a massive highway.
Yes, it is.

I was pretty aggressive.
She was not because of the anger.
But yeah, probably.
Um, which I thought I managed well.
We all do.
Well, I, I realized the way that at most common that came out was through being
extremely sarcastic and cutting and facetious.
Like I would just cut people down all the time
'cause I would get angry, but I wouldn't get violent.
So I would just intellectually obliterate them.
It was such a lovely, a lovely treat to have.
Anyway, we went, we drove to this church.
I was mad 'cause I told her I didn't wanna go.
- Dobbly mad now.
- Oh yeah, so mad.
So I stonewalled her all the way there
and she's trying to start conversations
And she's like, "I'm sorry."
And I was just like, not having it.
And about five, maybe five minutes before we got there,
she said, "Listen, if we go and you don't like it,
we'll just never go back."
And I was like, "Fine."

I'm choosing not to like this.
And I'm never coming back.
And so we went in and at the time,
that church sat about 250, 300 at the most.
And there was maybe 60 people that were part of the congregation.
So there was plenty of seats.
I mean, they had just moved in to the building and we sat in the very back corner,
like two rows from the back.

And I'm an old stare at Sandy every once in a while, make sure she feels my
ire.
And anyway, Jeremy Senate, who was the worship pastor, got up and sang.
I don't honestly remember it was the first or the second song, but anyway, he sang this song called Father I Want You to Hold Me.

And it, which this is going to sound really unhinged, but it took me about 30 seconds to realize I was making this horrible noise.
And I mean, I was the kind of person who didn't cry in public, didn't show any kind of weakness,
didn't. And here I am fully losing it. I am wailing and I can't stop. So in my head,
I'm like, stop it, stop it, get it together, stop it.
 You know what I mean? Like everybody heard this
person and you're just full on losing it. And I couldn't, I couldn't cap it. It was like,
it was like I had 19 years of I capped it, I capped it, I capped it, I capped it and I was done.
Yeah. And so I cried all the way through worship, like just wailed. Fast song, slow
song didn't really matter, just wailed. Did anybody come over and like come for you or put your
hand on you? No, and Sandy, poor Sandy. Sandy turned like 18 shades of red. I'm pretty,
I like this is Sandy's nightmare.
You know, she, she is standing next to the lunatic who has now fully lost it.
And yeah, nobody came over and said anything.
And then worship, you know, ended and Sandy like pulled me down into my seat
because I was, you know, I was unaware I had stopped to come here.
You've been wailing this whole time.
Always on and off.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I would, you know, for a while, then I start wailing here.

But I was like, and I'm just like, I got to get out of here.
Like I just got to get out of here, you know?
And, but John at the end of his message says, you know, there's somebody here
that needs to know that daddy loves them.
And like I remember my head thinking, how does he know?
Right?
But you know, like now I'm like, good guess, John.
Couldn't be the chick losing it at the back.
I don't know, it's just a thought.
But he invited me to come up to the front.
And I remember in my head being like,
I am not going up there.
But it was, I literally felt like something pulled me
out of my seat and pushed me up the aisle.
Like angels were pushing me or something.
And John just opened up his arms and I walked into his arms
and I cried all over him for about 40 minutes.
And he finished out the service and blessed everybody
and everything with me bawling on him while he held me up.
So.
- And to this day you owe that man a new shirt.
- I know, but we bought him several new shirts
for several Christmases in a row.
- So we're good.
- Yeah, so I figured.
- You never saw that shirt again.
- Never saw that shirt again.
I didn't.
And he won't answer the question like,
"Hey John, do I owe you a shirt?"
And he just giggles, "A.J."
- Do you remember what you were feeling as you left,
you know, like 40 minutes later as you're driving home,
like what did you, do you remember what you felt
about all of that?
- I felt, I think I just felt spent,
like I was exhausted.
And again, I don't know if that's exhausted
from 19 years of trying not to feel
or exhausted from an hour and a half of feeling
all of those, you know?
But I remember feeling exhausted, but also like clean.
Like Sandy didn't have to convince me to go back.
I was like, I don't know what just happened.
But all of a sudden I have a little bit of hope that I might survive.
So yeah.
So I, I think during like, during the renewal, I, I did a lot of inner healing
and I did a lot of emotional healing.
And I was pretty okay with feeling emotions and all that kind of stuff.
But I think as I think about probably the last, uh, maybe 10 years of being
here and just some of the pressure and some of the loss and all that kind of stuff.
I'm getting emotional now.
Yeah, I'm noticing.
I would say I became more uncomfortable with feeling emotion.
And I don't know if that's just because I feel like sometimes the more
responsibility you have, the more invested my heart gets.
And then it's just painful to watch.
People walk away from the Lord or, you know, things like that.
So the greater the cost, the greater the investment.
So I think at some point I started protecting myself again.
And not in the same way I wasn't getting angry,
but just sort of being like,
it hurts so much to love people a lot.
So now I've ruined my makeup.
And do you know whose fault it is?
It's your fault.
I thought we didn't get angry.
Or deflag with humor.

- Oh, I don't care.
- That's all good.
- You look like a backup singer for Kiss.
- Okay, thanks a lot.
- You keep doing it, it's amazing.
But sarcasm, see.
So I don't want to put you on the spot,
but I also know you're a super powerful person.
You'll tell me, I don't want to answer that question.
So you're just opening up, saying, "Hey, in the last 10 years, I'm realizing, wow."
You know, I grew up in an environment where feelings, you know, emotional health wasn't valued.
And so, you know, I got 23 years of core pain, go to this church, have this explosion, spend, I don't know,
the next 10, 15 years in an incredible environment, inner healing, doing a lot of emotional work, gaining emotional health.
Like one of the things that really, really attracted me to you when I first met you was the story that you told.
didn't resonate with the person I saw.
As in, I didn't think you were lying, but as you told your story, I was like,
how can somebody who's been through so much tragedy and trauma be so whole and
resolute? Yeah.
I have had people say that I was lying, by the way.
Oh, I've had people tell their kids, like if that's her testimony and she was
able to stand up and say it, then that's then she's actually lying because nobody
would actually be okay on the other side of that.
It's a scary reflection on a view of emotional health right there.
It is.
Yeah.
Well, but I think a lot of times when we think about, you know,
inner healing and emotional health,
we don't actually think that God can fully restore something.
We think we'll be like a better version
and maybe it'll be less painful.
He's doing it helping us forget.
Yeah, but you know, we're like looking for like a 50% thing.
We're not looking for the power of the pain is removed,
which I think he can do that.
I think he can remove the.
Oh, I know he can.
- You know, so, and that's been my experience, obviously.

I'm not sure if I'm gonna enjoy this arc tracing, go ahead.
- No, so like no place for emotional health,
living in an environment that's really abusive,
really traumatic, come to church,
have this incredible encounter,
spend the next 10, 15 years in this incredible environment
where it's a huge value for emotional health
and our healing, counseling, therapy, all that sort of stuff.
Then you move here and for the last 10 years,
you're recognizing now with a little bit of hindsight.
Oh, I don't pay words in your mouth,
but I started deadening my heart
or I started not allowing myself to,
how would you describe the last 10 years?

And it was just like, I got to the end of that year
and I was like, oh, I'm out.
like, and for me it was, we lost somebody that we were praying to get healed, Ted, at the
beginning of the year, and then we had some staff that moved off staff that I was really
grieving that they were leaving, and then there was another person that died, and then
in the fall of that year Ben died.
And I was just like, this is just too hard.
So remember that year being really, really hard, and then going for some trauma prayer
the banks and all that kind of stuff and started to sort of, okay, it's okay.
We're going to get some lift.
But then coming into this past year with COVID, I realized I just got hurt and tired and thought,
I don't want to use any of the tools that I have anymore.

Sorry.
But I did.
Like I was just like, I'm done with you all.
you all. Everybody with an opinion about what they think we should be doing differently
when they're not in our shoes. You know, like, so I just found it super, super painful.
And I think like, honestly, I sort of went to the place of like, I feel like we give everything
we can, you know, like, whether it's from the platform, whether it's on the school, like,
I give 100% I don't hold things back.
I tell the truth.
And I think for me, because of some of the opinion and things that people would post,
I was like, what am I doing?
Like, why am I giving my life to you if you don't actually think that we love you or that
we're telling you that, I mean, why am I doing this?
I could have a way easier job than this job.
Like I'll go work at Starbucks and not care about yeah, you know like
So I think I just got to where I was like oh I well I stopped looking at Instagrams, you know
Facebook I hate anyway
You know just just got to where I was like I'm just done with everyone's opinion
But I also just sort of shut down feeling all together
I was like everything feeling anything felt overwhelming. That's what I was gonna ask.  I don't want to feel this anymore
What how did you like in terms of emotional?
Response what was your solution because I lived with you. You didn't turn to alcohol. You didn't turn to drugs. No
What what what did you turn to to get away from all of that? Oh like Netflix hulu
Reading I didn't turn to eating. I probably turned to not eating
you know like
just
Trying to escape. I mean little games on my phone just anything to just keep my brain busy until I was tired enough to fall asleep
I'm
curious about
When you had awareness that you were doing that because in my experience I
I only have awareness post.
Like I look back and realize I was doing it.
Usually when I am doing it,
I'm kind of semi aware, but I can talk myself out with it.
Were you aware, oh, I'm deadening my heart right now.
- Oh yeah, I totally knew what I knew.
- Oh, you knew.
- Yeah, okay.
- Yeah.
But also I felt really sick.
You know, so in the midst of that, I got mono
and I'm like, I feel dreadful.
I'm tired all the time.
I'm dizzy when I stand up and we're in the middle of COVID
and we're trying to make the best decisions we can.
Oh, and we're taking the school online.
Oh, and I need to get ready for that.
But I actually can't even sit up.
And, you know, like, I think it felt like
just pressure from everywhere.
And I was just like,
it just became about surviving each day.
- So in terms of like rating emotional health,
we're at a what?
- Low, what would, what's the gallery on?
(laughs)
Low.

- Yeah.

You know, I'm not going to the church
and I don't feel anything.
And I'm angry because these guys are jerks,
not because I'm in pain and running for my feelings.

A really safe sanctuary, literally,
you're to church sanctuary.
And boom, as you say, put up, put up, put up, put up,
blow up, it all comes out.
  You can talk yourself out of
what you're feeling your head will light you, but your body won't, which is why you were probably
in bed for for so long. Well, I mean, well, for one thing, I don't know that it's was a couple of
years. I think it was really last year intensely trying because we did the whole feeling your
emotions course and we've been using that language and you know, and I've been trying to do that,
I think last year, though, I just basically came home from Israel, went into quarantine,
and then I felt like all hell broke loose, really.
So I remember talking to Sam about mono and just saying, "How did I get mono?
Like mono is the kissing disease.
Like, Alan doesn't have mono.
I haven't kissed anyone else.
You know what I'm talking about."
Well, I'm not sure about it.
You would be talking about it.
You would be talking about it.
Um, and she said, well, whatever, like by the time you're 40, something like 85 or 90% of
adults have the Epstein bar virus, which is what produces mono, but they have fought it off,
you know? And so she said, in all likelihood, you just had that virus the whole time. And
what's happened is it's now been stress activated. And so she, when I talked to her after, I'd had
it for a couple of weeks, she said, you're going to have to always be careful because you can
stress reactivated. And I think I didn't like, yeah, I just
started taking everything on instead of like previously when
people would say stuff, I would get hurt. But I'd be able to
give it to the Lord and just be like, Lord, I need some help
with this. This is this is what I heard. This is how I heard it.
I don't even know that that's how it was said, but this is how I
heard it. And can you help me with that? And I just seem to lose
any ability to do that and gain perspective.
So yeah, I don't know what your question was before that.
That's great, great answer.
I've so loved being with you.
You should go to Florida for five days for more because it produces just the best
conversations.
Yeah, go to the beach.
I'll see you later.
Yeah.
So I'm curious because I've been with you this whole time and in our journey.
And perhaps I've, you know, been so distracted with my own version of that story.
It feels like though, just in conversations we've had offline and in the way you're telling
the story today, that I know that you were saying, "Oh no, I was aware of this the whole
time."
It feels like you in recent weeks have had more awareness of what was happening than
perhaps you did as it was happening.
Does that make sense?
Oh, I think I have more awareness now than then, but I remember thinking at the time,
I'm too tired to use any of the things that I have.
I don't even want to.
And I'm living in the guest room.
Like I lived in the guest room for four months last year because I kept getting sick, you
know.
So I'm basically doing life on my own.
And I just was like, it's too tired to choose to work on any.
I'm too tired.
So what is so now that you've recognized that's where it was, that's where I've been.
What did you do to start the journey of?

- Yeah.
- And now you're realizing,
no, my emotional health is important.
What's the turnaround for that?
Like what's your plan?
What's your heart?
What's your next steps for pivoting away from that
distress and emotional death?
- Yeah.
- Into emotional health and vibrancy.
- I think the first thing for me was starting to share
with some people how I was actually feeling,
which I wasn't doing.

And I think that helped me a lot actually.
- Sure.

So that was helpful.
I've reached out to somebody to start counseling.
So I'm still on the wait list for that, but I'm hoping to do that.
Um, and I'm just trying to let myself feel how I feel.
Thus this, you know, the, the tears, the face, uh, without
shoving it down again.
I don't want to go back to living like that.
No.
And I think out of tiredness, I just thought that was the best option and it didn't.
It doesn't turn out that well.
Because life doesn't pause for you to not feel.
Do you know what I mean?
Like you still got kids, you still got, they need support.
You've still got to work out.
Are we at homeschooling or we, you know, online, like everything keeps going.
All your responsibilities are still there.
And I get it.
I get the whole, I'm too tired to deal with this right now.
And sometimes that's a kind of kindness to us.
Like I don't have capacity.
Like I think about, you know,
my desire is to always connect.

And you're like, "It's 10, 37 at night.
Let's not."
- No, let's not.
Months, you do that all the time when you're talking about.
You did that to me last week at some point.
It's like 11 o'clock.
I am already like fading.
Like I'm pretty sure I was asleep
when you started the, so how was your day?
I was like, no, not right now.
- But what I was gonna say is you started being more receptive
to even being more present than staying removed and hidden.
Which is beautiful.

And I think even last year I felt so emotionally overwhelmed
that if you came in with even a drop of emotion,
I was like, no.
- Yeah, if I don't know if you have feelings,
you're gonna make me feel.
- Well, or you're gonna make me tip right over the edge
and I'm gonna lose my mind.
I felt like I'm skating on the edge here.

- And I'd be like, let's talk about our feelings.
Let's talk about my feelings.
- No!
- Let's not, talk to somebody else about your feelings.
Yeah, so it was rough, it was a rough year.

That whole thing of self care is not selfish.
- Well, and you did great with me saying,
"I can't talk about your feelings
'cause I can't even manage my own."
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yes, I did do great.
He said as he applies himself.
I'm like, yeah, no, I remember.
I remember hearing that and thinking, okay, no,
I understand what that's like.
- I'm aware that wasn't super kind to you, but, you know.
- But also, you know, I'm thinking about
what we learned from Chip, about, you know,
healthy shame says we have limitations.
It's okay for you to have limitations.
And actually it's okay for me to find other places
for me to get my, you know, you can't be the sole dispenser
of my emotional wellbeing, like that's unfair to you.
So if I'm coming to you going, hey, babe,
I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'd love to process my feelings.
It's unkind of me to make you endure that
when you're all be at choosing an unhealthy response,
but it's the best response you've got at the time.
- Right.
- And so that's the beauty about being in an environment
where you've got options, where I,
there's so many people I can call and say,
I need a process I need.
- Yeah.
- And we've really leaned in our friends this year,
so thank you so much, probably.
- Send them something. - Send them gifts.
Hey, thank you so much.
(laughs)
And that's the beauty of life is there's ebbs and flows
of that, like historically in our marriage,
there's been times where I've been in crisis
and you're not freaking out and then vice versa, so.
- Yeah.
- Oh gosh.
I didn't think all of that was gonna happen
when we talked about emotional health,
but I'm glad it did.
- Me neither.
So beautiful.
Well, if I'd known though, I wouldn't have put on makeup because, you know, yeah, it
is still there.
Yeah.
At all.
When I was thinking about this topic, I was thinking about my culture was a biblical culture,
growing up my house, the church environment, was all based on Scripture.
And so it amazes me that though we read the same Bible, we didn't focus on the internal
person.
We focused on salvation.
right? The greatest need. But I think about proverbs that talks about, you know, above
all else, guard your heart for it's the wellspring of life. Like you're literally talking
about as I did not tend care for my heart, pay attention to the voice of the heart that
was screaming I need help. Like you literally ended up in bed for four months in isolation.
You know, I've wrote down some of the verses because I'm not good at memorizing everything
off the top of my hand in a short term. You look at this, Proverbs 4.23 above all else,
your heart for it's the wellspring of life. How about this Proverbs 14 verse 30? A hearted
peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Now you're not talking about envy there,
but envy is not an emotionally healthy state. Like our internal state produces fruit in our body.
Or Proverbs 1722, a cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
And I love that we live in an environment where we do have amazing resources, we do have amazing
friends, we do have amazing people where we get to be human all the time and not have it to get
together.  I think that's
incredible for our community and for the people who are also struggling. I was also thinking about
in previous times where we've had friends, the other person provers about faithful,
the wounds of a friend. I think about the time of the past when Kathy came to me, remember?
And she stopped in the parking lot, she was like, Alan, like, you don't look good. You've
lost a light that's in your eyes. And I remember that stang. And the next day, Fred was just
like, dude, what are you doing to take care of your? We didn't take care of yourself.
And so I was thinking about how as people have been listening to this episode, if you
were listening to this episode back in the year that you were describing, how are we able
to discern how well we are doing in caring for our emotional health? That's the question
I want to pose. I've got three thoughts. I'm curious if you have any.
How are we able? Well, I guess if I think we usually know when we're hiding, if you're
hiding, you're probably not doing that well.
I'm not sure we always do though. I can think of times when I've hidden them, it's taken
somebody to say, "Buddy, are you okay?"
- Right.
- Playing a bit too much Netflix there.
- Right.
- So I'm not always confident.
I'm the best Geiger counter reader of my emotional health.
- Right.
But I mean, hopefully if you have healthy community,
they'll point it out to you.
- And that's historically been it.
That like Jeff or Danielle, people I work with,
or our friends will just be like,
"Hey, buddy, doing okay."
And that will take me to start with,
the Holy Spirit's good at that.
But also, you know, I've developed to find reflex
over the years to ignore the Holy Spirit
about things I don't want him to talk to me about.
Now, I don't want to do that, but I'm also aware
when I'm in pain, sorrow, anger, rage, malice,
all those things that grieve the Holy Spirit.
You know, I'm pretty good at deafening him.
My experience of you in that last year is,
like I hear you say, no, I had awareness.
When we would talk about that,
Maybe you had awareness you didn't want to talk about it,
but I was shut down pretty quick.
- Yes, well, 'cause I was trying to state numb.
- Ah, I see, so you were aware,
but you just didn't want to talk about it.
- Yeah, 'cause then it will all come out.
So this is a very tentative little cap I have on this bad boy.
And if you want to talk about things,
then actually that's gonna mess it up.
So and--
- So you're aware?
- Yeah.
- And I'm maybe less aware then.
I'm just thinking about my own experience.
I'm usually not that aware.
It usually takes people to point out to me
that I have to fight them mentally.
And then I realize, no, they love me.
They probably got up high and then, you know,
I go away and think about it.
I'm like, yeah, no, I'm not doing great.
Or I get sick.
One of those two things happened.
Usually my sickness determines I've been doing too much.
- Yeah.
Well, I mean, I was, my body was trying to send that message
pretty loud and clear.
And actually, one of the, I remember one of the days
when it started to shift for me.
I listened to one song over and over again,
and I just lost it all morning,
which is that unraveling song.
Who's it by Corey Aspery or something?
Then I just lost my nut,
and then I played it in the car one point
and I had to pull over.
I was just bawling in the car.
But I was like, okay, I'm really, really not okay.
but actually, and then realizing I didn't want to state not okay.
Which is powerful.
Yeah, it only took me.
That don't even do that.

I have feelings about that shame.
I have so much gladness being with you and then so much fear and anger
about the shame that makes you want to quantify that.
So, but you can have your shame if you want.
I'm not trying to keep you from having your feeling of shame.
I'm just having feelings about it.
Okay, everything's fine.
So what were your three questions to ask yourself?
Well, I was there's actually four.

And because we're a triune being, we're, you know, body, soul and spirit.
It's like, are you aware of what nourishes your body?
Like what brings peace to your body?
I'm throwing that out there.
Oh, are you asking me?
Yeah, I'm asking you.
I'm also asking my listeners to think about that.
Like what brings near water?
Yeah, nourishes your body.
Me, I still can't believe I'm going to say these words when we go camping.
Yeah, I feel actively rested, even though it's so much work.
I feel nourished being out in fresh air.
Yeah. So, you know, what what nourishes, what brings peace to your body?
What brings peace to your soul?
I don't know.
Do you like?
No, it's fine if you don't know.
What brings peace to your soul?
Environment's nice environments.
OK, like well designed environments like you remember
a vacation? Oh, we went and stayed at just a beautiful resort in Hawaii.
And I walked into the hotel and I could feel tension leave my body.
Yeah.
So carefully curated, beautiful spaces bring nourishment to my soul.
I would agree with that.
Great connects with friends.
Yeah.
Specifically, if there's also good food involved.
Mm-hmm.
No, for real?
Yeah.
I was also thinking about the answers to this question.
One of the things that brings nourishment to my soul
is when I get resolution to conflict.
So if I'm in conflict, if I'm in tension,
and it could be small tension, like,
"Hey babe, I just realized I wrote the story
"about something you said earlier,
"and can I compare notes with you?"
This is what I...
This is the whole story I wrote about this interaction.
Is that real? And you're like, "No, and ah."
Or even if you're like, "Yeah."
And then we get to talk through the resolution of that.
That brings peace and nourishment to my soul.
- Yeah.
- A good book, a good movie.
You know, I can get into it.
And it's not, you know, the danger with that
is you can get lost and distracted.
- Yeah.
- Then finally what brings nourishment to your spirit?
- I mean, for me, mostly soaking.
I'm still stuck on Stephanie's CD
that she released right at the beginning of the pandemic.

I realized in the midst of my hiding, I was hiding from God too.
So, yeah.
And then my fourth question is, when was the last time you purposely made room for any
of those three things?
Today?
Yeah, you did.
You took a day off.
I took a day off and I read for a while and I did my Bible study and I was going to sit
outside, but it was too cold.
  What agrees my spirit is control and manipulation,
like if I'm in an environment of control or passivity.
So eradicating those things and then purposely adding those things is a great way of nourishing
our soul and helping our heart. And as you want to talk about emotional health, by the way,
bravo, like I, just so you know, the way we do this, it's we don't plan anything. We've got the
the loosest of structures of this is top we're going to talk about. Here's some things we need to think about. And that's it. So I didn't have a clue you were going to say any of that stuff. And I loved hearing all of it.
Well, I purposely don't look at the notes because you like doing it. I like to just.
Free stuff.
Talk about whatever.
Yeah.
I also have a listeners question for you, which constantly enough fits into all this and we may have already answered it. By the way, if you listen to this, everything that we've talked about will be meticulously putting the show notes. So, if I just talked about a song or
or an event or previous episodes or topics,
they'll all be in the show notes for this week.
The listeners question,
it's an anonymous listeners question,
it says this, "I know we're never fully healed,
"but how do you let someone into the process of healing?"
Would you kind of answer it,
but see if there's any more.
- I mean, how do you let someone into the process?
I think you just choose to.
Like, I don't think any of us love to show other people
struggles or like the parts that we have shame about or you know whatever. But I
think you choose carefully. Like I don't typically accept for this podcast.
You know, share all of my you know deep whatever but I have specific safe people
that that I have let in and I've given permission to speak to me about when they
I feel like I'm not letting them in when they feel like I'm hiding.
So.
What are the hallmarks of safe people for you?
They're working on their own lives.
They're not the kind of people who you tell them something and then they've told a whole
bunch of other people.
I want to know that they know the Holy Spirit, you know, that they hear from the Lord.
I want to see them tend gently to their own hearts
before I trust them with mine.
- Yeah.
- So I didn't mean to interrupt you.
- No, that's good, that's really good.
- Yeah, there's really no getting away from,
like how do you do it, you do it.
- Yeah.
- You have a conversation with a friend and say,
can I tell you what's happening?
- Yeah.
- I think, I've learned the important preface,
So if when I go to speak to people about that and knowing what I need by telling them, we
used to say is, do you want me to listen like a boy or listen like a girl?
Yeah.
Like, do I need a solution?
Am I telling you this because I need a solution?
Or am I telling you this because I need a human sounding board?
You know, my insides are exhausted from me keeping it in and I need to get it out.
Right.
And all I need you to do is listen.
I don't need commentary.
I don't need a solution.
Yeah.
I need you or sometimes I need like sometimes like my dangers, I try and figure everything
myself. But we ask each other, how do you want me to listen? And then sometimes it's like we've had,
especially like in the past year where you've been like, Hey, I need to talk to you about like,
I need, I need to share this stuff. And I've been like, Okay, can we do that later? Like, so because
I know at this moment, I can't do it, but I can actually build up a reservoir being able to absorb
whatever it is that you need to share. Do you know what I mean? So, but I think that that's part
of just having safe relationship to you. Yeah, being able to identify your need and being with
people is so good. So, you know, build a safe community. If you don't have a safe community,
one of the best things you can do to let someone at the process of healing is find a professional
and pay the money. Yeah. That's why counselors and therapists exist, is so that you can go process
outside of your friendship group, especially if you're distressed, it's caused by your friendship group.
But seriously, professional help is a lifesaver for sure. So there you go. If you have a listeners
question, if anything that AJ shared today, anything we've talked about, you want to ask more. If
you go to<EMAIL_ADDRESS>we can do our best to try and answer your question on the podcast.
Well, babe, thank you for being super brave, super vulnerable.
If you want the show notes for this week's episode, go to Alan and AJ.com/237.
You can always get the show notes for the episode you're listening to just by going to Alan
AJ.com/whatever the episode number is.
I do want to remind you that the Boundary Summer School is about to close.
If you're listening to this on a Monday, the day the episode comes out, it's going to close on the Wednesday.
That's Wednesday 19th at midnight.
I would love you to come join me.
I'm going to be leading you through the boundary course.
You'll watch about an hour a week of content on your own
at your own schedule.
And then you'll meet with me once a week
for an hour group call where I'm going to help you apply
what you learned during the week to your own life.
And then during the week, I'll stay in contact with you.

And like I said, you're going to have this online forum
with other people going through the school
where you can explore and you can grow
and you can show your success stories.
If you want to sign up to the Boundary Summer School,
go to<EMAIL_ADDRESS>And then finally, a huge welcome to all of our new members
who've become members of the podcast.
Thanks for signing up.
Just a quick note, if you're a member,
you get a discount on all our products,
including the Boundary Summer School.
So make sure you take advantage of that.
There's also a whole host of other benefits.
You get to see the video version of this,
get to see AJ's Kiss makeup for this week.
And you can connect with us along with priority Q&A.
Head over to alanamaj.com/membership.
Perfect.
Thanks so much for being with us this week and we will see you next week.
âTMª
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âTMª Oh yeah âTMª
âTMª Keeping up with the Joneses âTMª
âTMª Keeping up with the Joneses âTMª
âTMª Sharing their life, experience it âTMª
âTMª Keeping up with the Joneses âTMª
âTMª Keeping up with the Joneses âTMª
âTMª They talk about faith in God âTMª
âTMª And everything under the sun âTMª
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âTMª There's something here for everyone âTMª
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(buzzing)
[ Silence ]


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London to Brighton
I finally managed to get the second long ride I’d been meaning to do since moving to London done this weekend - London to Brighton.
The Brompton club planned and rode this ride a few weeks ago, but I wasn’t able to make it, due to a last minute change of plans and trip to Dorset instead. However, a group of work colleagues wanted to do a London to Brighton ride, so using the course that the Brompton guys had already ridden, I volunteered as ride leader.
This would give me some good practise at leading with people I know before I lead the ride in September for the Brompton ride (to Cambridge again).
Ride
An early morning start for me - up at half 6 to allow me to get to the meeting point at Richmond Station.
Ended up getting to the station somewhat earlier than the others, so I stopped for a tea and muffin to wait for them to arrive.
I would be the only one completing the ride on a Brompton - all the others were on a road bike. I think they were perhaps a little sceptical that I would make it on the Brompton! I wanted to prove them wrong (I’d obviously done some long distance rides in the past, but not with my work mates).
Setting Off
We left about 10 ish, and then headed out. The route was already planned, so it was simply a case of getting to Richmond Whole Foods and then following the route on my Garmin that had kindly been put together by David for the the LBC ride.
We rolled through Bushy Park, which was lovely - I’ll be heading back again at some point to get some pictures and cycle through the park leisurely.
Just outside Dorking and Reigate Road, we had our first (and only) instance of someone giving us grief - a driver wound down his windows and told us the junction said no right turn - indeed it did, however, underneath it states “Except Cycles”. He apologised and carried on - I was expecting more venom from him really but he admitted he was wrong and carried on.
However, we ran into our first issue just outside Dorking where a couple of us crossed the road and headed off and then took the next turning, not realising the guys behind hadn’t crossed yet.
We ended up waiting for them to get back to us. They stopped at a Tesco and rejoined us. Continuing onwards, we made good time.
About halfway, we stopped for a drink and ice cream at a village shop in Rusper, which conveniently had some seating outside we made use of.
The day was roasting hot - we’d taken about three hours to get to this point with stops (well, we stopped here for a bit, it was about 3 hours and 15 minutes when we left Rusper).
Technical Issues
We ran into some technical issues after Rusper - cycling up a hill, one of the guys wheels dropped out of line and got stuck as his bike has horizontal dropouts for the wheels. Luckily for us, as I’m riding a Brompton, I had a box spanner with me and was able to effect a roadside repair (undo wheel nut, put wheel back on!). If he was just with the others, his ride would have ended here as with all quick release wheels, they didn’t carry spanners.
However, it wasn’t far before another technical hitch cropped up and we needed to stop to change a puncture. Conveniently, it occurred at a pub! A quick soft drink later, we got on our way - it wasn’t long until we got sight of Devils Dyke that we would have to climb. Approaching this looked like the wall from Game of Thrones!
Devils Dyke
I’ve not done as many hills as I did last year - I think this was demonstrated in my climbing of Devils Dyke - I did however, make it without walking or putting a foot down (aside where we had to stop in the middle of the road to cross).
The others sped off and left me in the dust!
However, we took a break at the top of Devils Dyke and were greater with our first glimpse of the sea in the distance. Mind, to my eyes, it still seemed like we would have a full hills to conquer to get there!
Thankfully, no, it was mainly downhill from there into Brighton!
We got to the Pier - some of the guys decided to stay and go paddling, where as I decided to head back to London with one of the others.
Conclusions
The weather was warm, the pace was pretty fast and for some reason I was drained - not sure whether this was due to a low pressure tyre (it was that sort of drag I seemed to be experiencing) or if it was just the hot weather.
Anyhow, permitted myself to a rare treat on the train home…
Incidentally, the cider was pretty tasty - a Westons cider brewed for Marks and Spencer - I was pretty impressed.
It still took me ages to get home - almost as long on the train from Brighton to London Victoria as it was from Kings Cross to Hatfield, thanks to some delays and cancelled trains, meaning I had to get the (busy) all stops service! Made it home in the end mind.
Overall, it was a cracking trip - took us longer than the 4 hours we thought (moving time was 4 hours, 30 minutes) with an overall time of 6 hours 18 minutes. Amazing how quick the stops build up! Something to bear in mind for the Cambridge trip in a few months. Would be nice to do another ride with the work mates - perhaps a London to Oxford one.


extract parameters from the commands line
More...
|
| subroutine | fromarray (this, array, tol) |
| | Constructor. More...
|
| |
| subroutine | fromfile (this, iFileName, column, tol, cComments) |
| | Constructor. More...
|
| |
| subroutine | copy (this, other) |
| | Copy constructor. More...
|
| |
| subroutine | destroy (this) |
| | Destructor. More...
|
| |
| logical function | isequalto (this, other, tol) |
| |
| subroutine | checkequallyspaced (this, tol) |
| |
| type(grid) function | addition (this, other) |
| |
| type(grid) function | additionfc (this, constant) |
| |
| type(grid) function | subtraction (this, other) |
| |
| type(grid) function | subtractionfc (this, constant) |
| |
| type(grid) function | multiplication (this, other) |
| |
| type(grid) function | multiplicationfc (this, constant) |
| |
| type(grid) function | division (this, other) |
| |
| type(grid) function | divisionfc (this, constant) |
| |
| type(grid) function | exponentiation (this, other) |
| |
| type(grid) function | exponentiationfc (this, constant) |
| |
| pure integer function | ssize (this) |
| | Size. More...
|
| |
| subroutine | resize (this, m, dir) |
| | Original distribution
x1 = x1 x2 = x1+dx x3 = x1+2*dx ... xn = x1+(n-1)*dx More...
|
| |
| subroutine | translate (this, delta) |
| | Moves the values delta along the axis relative to the current position. Positive values move the function to the right. More...
|
| |
| character(len=200) function | str (this) |
| | String representation. More...
|
| |
| subroutine | show (this, unit) |
| |
| subroutine | setunits (this, unit) |
| |
| subroutine | save (this, ofileName, units) |
| | Save the data in one column format in a selected unit. More...
|
| |
| subroutine | tofstream (this, ofile, units) |
| | Save the data in one column format in a selected unit. More...
|
| |
| pure real(8) function | at (this, i) |
| |
| pure real(8) function | first (this) |
| |
| pure real(8) function | last (this) |
| |
| pure real(8) function | dv (this) |
| |
| subroutine | set (this, i, value) |
| |
extract parameters from the commands line
This class represents a one-dimensional grid
Definition at line 31 of file Grid.f90.
| type(grid) function grid_::addition |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this, |
|
|
class(grid), intent(in) |
other |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
| type(grid) function grid_::additionfc |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this, |
|
|
real(8), intent(in) |
constant |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
| pure real(8) function grid_::at |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this, |
|
|
integer, intent(in) |
i |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
| subroutine grid_::checkequallyspaced |
( |
class(grid) |
this, |
|
|
real(8), optional |
tol |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
| subroutine grid_::copy |
( |
class(grid), intent(out) |
this, |
|
|
class(grid), intent(in) |
other |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
Copy constructor.
Definition at line 238 of file Grid.f90.
| subroutine grid_::destroy |
( |
type(grid) |
this | ) |
|
|
private |
| type(grid) function grid_::division |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this, |
|
|
type(grid), intent(in) |
other |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
| type(grid) function grid_::divisionfc |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this, |
|
|
real(8), intent(in) |
constant |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
| pure real(8) function grid_::dv |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this | ) |
|
|
private |
| type(grid) function grid_::exponentiation |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this, |
|
|
type(grid), intent(in) |
other |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
| type(grid) function grid_::exponentiationfc |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this, |
|
|
real(8), intent(in) |
constant |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
| pure real(8) function grid_::first |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this | ) |
|
|
private |
| subroutine grid_::fromarray |
( |
class(grid) |
this, |
|
|
real(8), dimension(:), intent(in) |
array, |
|
|
real(8), intent(in), optional |
tol |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
| subroutine grid_::fromfile |
( |
class(grid) |
this, |
|
|
character(*), intent(in) |
iFileName, |
|
|
integer, intent(in), optional |
column, |
|
|
real(8), intent(in), optional |
tol, |
|
|
character(*), intent(in), optional |
cComments |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
| subroutine, public grid_::grid_test |
( |
| ) |
|
| subroutine grid_::initdefault |
( |
class(grid) |
this, |
|
|
real(8), intent(in) |
min, |
|
|
real(8), intent(in) |
max, |
|
|
integer, intent(in), optional |
nPoints, |
|
|
real(8), intent(in), optional |
stepSize |
|
) |
| |
| logical function grid_::isequalto |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this, |
|
|
class(grid), intent(in) |
other, |
|
|
real(8), optional |
tol |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
| pure real(8) function grid_::last |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this | ) |
|
|
private |
| type(grid) function grid_::multiplication |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this, |
|
|
type(grid), intent(in) |
other |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
| type(grid) function grid_::multiplicationfc |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this, |
|
|
real(8), intent(in) |
constant |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
| subroutine grid_::resize |
( |
class(grid) |
this, |
|
|
integer, intent(in) |
m, |
|
|
integer, intent(in), optional |
dir |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
Original distribution
x1 = x1 x2 = x1+dx x3 = x1+2*dx ... xn = x1+(n-1)*dx
( xn - x1 )/dx + 1 = ( x1+(n-1)*dx - x1 )/dx + 1 = n
Right resize by m
x1 = x1 x2 = x1+dx x3 = x1+2*dx ... xn = x1+(n-1)*dx xn+1 = x1+n*dx xn+2 = x1+(n+1)*dx ... xn+m = x1+(n+m-1)*dx
( xn+m - x1 )/dx + 1 = ( x1+(n+m-1)*dx - x1 )/dx + 1
= n+m
Left resize by m
x1 = x-(m-1) = x1-m*dx x2 = x-(m-2) = x1-(m-1)*dx ... xm-2 = x-2 = x1-3*dx xm-1 = x-1 = x1-2*dx xm = x0 = x1-dx xm+1 = x1 = x1 xm+2 = x2 = x1+dx xm+3 = x3 = x1+2*dx ... xm+n = xn = x1+(n-1)*dx
( xm+n - x1 )/dx + 1 = ( x1+(n-1)*dx - x1+m*dx )/dx + 1
= ( (n-1)*dx + m*dx )/dx + 1
= ( n-1 + m ) + 1
= n+m
Both resize by m for each side
x1 = xn-m-1 = x1-m*dx x2 = xn-m = x1-(m-1)*dx x3 = xn-m+1 = x1-(m-2)*dx ... xm = x0 = x1-dx xm+1 = x1 = x1 xm+2 = x2 = x1+dx ... xm+n = xn = x1+(n-1)*dx xm+n+1 = xn+1 = x1+n*dx xm+n+2 = xn+2 = x1+(n+1)*dx ... xm+n+m = xn+m = x1+(m+n-1)*dx
( xm+n+m - x1 )/dx + 1 = ( x1+(m+n-1)*dx - ( x1-m*dx ) )/dx + 1
= ( x1+m*dx+n*dx-dx - x1+m*dx )/dx + 1
= ( n*dx-dx +2m*dx )/dx + 1
= n-1 +2m + 1
= n+2m
Definition at line 558 of file Grid.f90.
| subroutine grid_::save |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this, |
|
|
character(*), intent(in), optional |
ofileName, |
|
|
real(8), intent(in), optional |
units |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
Save the data in one column format in a selected unit.
Definition at line 695 of file Grid.f90.
| subroutine grid_::set |
( |
class(grid) |
this, |
|
|
integer, intent(in) |
i, |
|
|
real(8), intent(in) |
value |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
| subroutine grid_::setunits |
( |
class(grid) |
this, |
|
|
real(8), intent(in) |
unit |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
| subroutine grid_::show |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this, |
|
|
integer, intent(in), optional |
unit |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
| pure integer function grid_::ssize |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this | ) |
|
|
private |
| character(len=200) function grid_::str |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this | ) |
|
|
private |
String representation.
Definition at line 631 of file Grid.f90.
| type(grid) function grid_::subtraction |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this, |
|
|
type(grid), intent(in) |
other |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
| type(grid) function grid_::subtractionfc |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this, |
|
|
real(8), intent(in) |
constant |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
| subroutine grid_::tofstream |
( |
class(grid), intent(in) |
this, |
|
|
type(ofstream), intent(in), optional |
ofile, |
|
|
real(8), intent(in), optional |
units |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
Save the data in one column format in a selected unit.
Definition at line 720 of file Grid.f90.
| subroutine grid_::translate |
( |
class(grid) |
this, |
|
|
real(8), intent(in), optional |
delta |
|
) |
| |
|
private |
Moves the values delta along the axis relative to the current position. Positive values move the function to the right.
Definition at line 616 of file Grid.f90.
The documentation for this module was generated from the following file:


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0.00000000
Tek10-Oct-18 07:54 PM
wew
Davement10-Oct-18 07:54 PM
!kmdtip balance
KMD TipBotBOT10-Oct-18 07:54 PM
TipBot KMD Balance
Balance for @Davement (Dave_#6981)
Confirmed
7.84291820
Unconfirmed
0.00000000
Tek10-Oct-18 07:54 PM
wtf dave
so how does one collect it onec its quite some?
that's a cool feature though
nice
nice bot
plazma10-Oct-18 07:54 PM
dave is rich now....
Davement10-Oct-18 07:55 PM
can i put my kmd in a wallet?
Tek10-Oct-18 07:55 PM
fookin dave
plazma10-Oct-18 07:55 PM
yea
Nsane2410-Oct-18 07:55 PM
?bal
Tek10-Oct-18 07:55 PM
you share! you share right now!
Davement10-Oct-18 07:55 PM
how?
 On a phone so can’t see if there is a pinned message!!  A withdrawal fee of 0.02 KMD will be automatically deducted from the amount.
!kmdtip <@user> <amount>
Tips the @ mentioned user with the desired amount, e.g.
!kmdtip @test123456#7890 1.00
!kmdtip rain <amount> [<@role>]
Rains the desired amount onto all online users (optionally, within specified role), e.g.
!kmdtip rain 10.00, !kmdtip rain 10.00 @Supporters
!kmdtip soak <amount> [<@role>]
Soaks the desired amount onto all online and idle users (optionally, within specified role), e.g.
!kmdtip soak 5.00, !kmdtip soak 5.00 @Supporters
!kmdtip thunder <amount> [<@role>]
Tips a random lucky online user with the amount (optionally, within specified role), e.g.
!kmdtip thunder 5.00, !kmdtip thunder 5.00 @Supporters
!kmdtip faucet
Gets an amount from the faucet (applicable every 4 hours)
CryptAiz10-Oct-18 08:06 PM
!kmdtip faucet
KMD TipBotBOT10-Oct-18 08:06 PM
TipBot
The faucet is not enabled.
Joe10-Oct-18 08:06 PM
!kmdtip deposit
KMD TipBotBOT10-Oct-18 08:06 PM
TipBot Deposit
KMD deposit address for @Joe (Joe#1757)
RMmgtrEaGqDU5ida4b867xu69yCBdqZXgK
CryptAiz10-Oct-18 08:06 PM
bring back those faucet days!
Jules - coinblockers.com10-Oct-18 08:06 PM
!kmdtip balance
KMD TipBotBOT10-Oct-18 08:06 PM
TipBot KMD Balance
Balance for @Jules - coinblockers.com (Jules - coinblockers.com#5119)
Confirmed
0.07291820
Unconfirmed
0.00000000
Tek10-Oct-18 08:06 PM
I've invited some people
nice bot
sclear10-Oct-18 08:06 PM
@miles To get rains and soaks, no registration is needed. Coins are rained and thundered onto online users, and soaked onto online and idle as well. Use !kmdtip for help
Tek10-Oct-18 08:06 PM
really ince
plazma10-Oct-18 08:07 PM
oh so withdrawal limit is 0.1 kmd
Tek10-Oct-18 08:07 PM
I'll wait until I have like 10
0.1
lmao
miles10-Oct-18 08:08 PM
Nice one @sclear - thanks
1
Tek10-Oct-18 08:09 PM
@Kidult@heethaut
CryptoNinjaa10-Oct-18 08:09 PM
!kmdtip balance
KMD TipBotBOT10-Oct-18 08:09 PM
TipBot KMD Balance
Balance for @CryptoNinjaa (CryptoNinjaa#5350)
Confirmed
0.10729873
Unconfirmed
0.00000000
CryptoNinjaa10-Oct-18 08:09 PM
FishyGuts10-Oct-18 08:13 PM
Tip - You can mute this channel and not the whole KMD server if you want to reduce spam sounds.


Latest from the
Forums
|
Can't
Reply to forum posts?
I was having this problem for a couple of days. With IE 7 (on Windows
Vista), I was able to browse the forums but on hitting Reply I would get
a generic error page. For a while I thought this might be due to some
stale networking state, since I had not re more
|
|
The
WPF Challenge
I have created a WPF competition. On March 12, 2007 the
creators of the three "best" WPF applications entered into the
contest will win cool prizes and get some public attention for their
great work. If you're interested: http://joshsm
more
|
|
Listbox
- Center item
HiI'm trying to create an album-viewer of all my music albums. To
this I'm using a ListBox with Orientation="Horizontal"
- this is all fine, and I can see my albums. But my issue is, that I want
to center the item I just pressed. How ca more
|
|
RightToLeft
text-drawing issues
Hi all, I'm having some real issues with drawing text when a window is
set to FlowDirection.RightToLeft. To illustrate my issues, I made
some simple XAML for a Window and sample code for a simple control
that draws text using FormattedText. Window code more
|
|
|
Downloads
Hands-On Labs
SDK Viewer
Sample
Third-Party
Controls
Documentation
Getting
Started
Windows
Presentation Foundation SDK
Community
Windows
Vista/Windows Presentation Foundation Real-World Applications
Books
Applications = Code + Markup:
A Guide to the Microsoft Windows Presentation Foundation
This book is the definitive guide to the latest Microsoft programming
interface for client applications. Get expert guidance for using Extensible
Application Markup Language (XAML) and C# to create interfaces for Microsoft
Windows Vista applications.
|


| In file templates, you can use text, code, comments, and
predefined variables. A list of predefined variables is available below. When you use these variables in templates, they expand into
corresponding values later in the editor. It is also possible to specify custom variables. Custom variables use the following format: ${VARIABLE_NAME}, where VARIABLE_NAME is a name for your variable (for example, ${MY_CUSTOM_FUNCTION_NAME}). Before the IDE creates a new file with custom variables, you see a dialog where you can define values for custom variables in the template. By using the #parse directive, you can include templates from the Includes tab. To include a template, specify the full name of the template as a parameter in quotation marks (for example, #parse("File Header"). |
| List of predefined variables | ||
|
|
Current system date | |
|
|
Current day of the month | |
|
|
First three letters of the current day name (Mon, Tue, and so on) | |
|
|
Full name of the current day (Monday, Tuesday, and so on) | |
|
|
Path to the directory of the new file (relative to the project root) | |
|
|
Dollar sign ($). This variable is used to escape the dollar character, so that it is not treated as a prefix of a template variable. | |
|
|
Name of the new file | |
|
|
Current hour | |
|
|
Current minute | |
|
|
Current second | |
|
|
Current month | |
|
|
The first 3 letters of the current month name (Jan, Feb, and so on) | |
|
|
Full name of the current month (January, February, and so on) | |
|
|
Name of the new entity (file, type, interface, and so on) | |
|
|
Name of your organization specified in the project settings | |
|
|
Name of the IDE | |
|
|
Name of the current project | |
|
|
Current system time | |
|
|
System login name of the current user | |
|
|
Current year |


This information was never very complete, and it is currently out-of-date. I am working on updating it to reflect the current set of recommendations.
Testing the attackability and fingerprintability of various browsers in an i2p context, and where possible, reducing it via whatever available configuration.
Source Code used for Test: https://github.com/eyedeekay/firefox.profile.i2p
# Reproduce:
1: Open I2PBrowser launcher via the shortcut
2: Copy-paste the following base32 address: http://idk.i2p/I2P-Browser-Attackability-Evaluation/finger.html
3: Press the fingerprint button.
Home Page: I2P in Private Browsing Mode(Debian GNU/Linux)
# Reproduce:
1: Install I2P in Private Browsing Mode from [addons.mozilla.org](https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/i2p-in-private-browsing/)
2: Copy-paste the following base32 address: http://idk.i2p/I2P-Browser-Attackability-Evaluation/finger.html
3: Press the fingerprint button.
These 2 screenshots are from the same Firefox at the same time. As you can see, the fingerprints differ and obuscation measures have been taken.
Home Page: N/A
# Reproduce:
1: Configure Firefox to use a proxy by setting the common network settings
2: Copy-paste the following base32 address: http://idk.i2p/I2P-Browser-Attackability-Evaluation/finger.html
3: Press the fingerprint button.
Home Page: N/A
# Reproduce:
1: Configure Firefox to use a proxy by setting the common network settings
2: Copy-paste the following base32 address: http://idk.i2p/I2P-Browser-Attackability-Evaluation/finger.html
3: Press the fingerprint button.
lynx(On Debian GNU/Linux)
# Command used:
http_proxy=http:/<IP_ADDRESS>:4444 \/usr/bin/lynx http://idk.i2p/I2P-Browser-Attackability-Evaluation/finger.html
elinks(On Debian GNU/Linux)
# Command used:
http_proxy=http:/<IP_ADDRESS>:4444 \/usr/bin/elinks http://idk.i2p/I2P-Browser-Attackability-Evaluation/finger.html
ungoogled-chromium(On Debian GNU/Linux)
# Command used:
\/usr/bin/chromium --incognito --proxy-server="http:/<IP_ADDRESS>:4444" http://idk.i2p/I2P-Browser-Attackability-Evaluation/finger.html
Chromium Configuration(Debian GNU/Linux)
# Reproduce:
1: Install extension via the instructions
2: Copy-paste the following base32 address: http://idk.i2p/I2P-Browser-Attackability-Evaluation/finger.html
3: Press the fingerprint button.


| Modifier and Type | Constant Field | Value |
|---|---|---|
public static final int |
MAX_DEPTH |
3 |
| Modifier and Type | Constant Field | Value |
|---|---|---|
private static final long |
serialVersionUID |
1L |
| Modifier and Type | Constant Field | Value |
|---|---|---|
private static final long |
serialVersionUID |
1L |
| Modifier and Type | Constant Field | Value |
|---|---|---|
private static final long |
serialVersionUID |
1L |
| Modifier and Type | Constant Field | Value |
|---|---|---|
private static final long |
serialVersionUID |
1L |
| Modifier and Type | Constant Field | Value |
|---|---|---|
private static final long |
serialVersionUID |
1L |
| Modifier and Type | Constant Field | Value |
|---|---|---|
private static final String |
MAP_CREATION_EXCEPTION_STR |
"An exception occurred while creating a Map object" |
private static final String |
RESOLVING_COLLECTION_EXCEPTION_STR |
"An exception occurred while resolving the collection" |
| Modifier and Type | Constant Field | Value |
|---|---|---|
public static final int |
DEFAULT_NBR_COLLECTION_ELEMENTS |
5 |
public static final String |
SPRING_ROOT_CONFIG_LOCATION |
"META-INF/spring/podam-config.xml" |
public static final String |
STR_DEFAULT_ENCODING |
"UTF-8" |
public static final int |
STR_DEFAULT_LENGTH |
10 |
public static final String |
THE_ANNOTATION_VALUE_STR |
"The annotation value: " |
| Modifier and Type | Constant Field | Value |
|---|---|---|
private static final long |
serialVersionUID |
1L |
Copyright © 2017. All rights reserved.


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- My name is Khaled. I am from the millennial generation.
- I like practising sport.
- I like languages. I speak Arabic and English, but i do not speak French.
- concerning food, i do not like spicy food.
Top 10 cities to visit
- Paris, France.
- New York City, USA.
- London, England.
- Dubai, United Arab Emirates.
- Istanbul, Turkey
- Macau, China


#include "gim_array.h"
#include "gim_radixsort.h"
#include "gim_box_collision.h"
#include "gim_tri_collision.h"
Go to the source code of this file.
Classes | |
| struct | GIM_PAIR |
| Overlapping pair. More... | |
| class | gim_pair_set |
| A pairset array. More... | |
| class | GIM_PRIMITIVE_MANAGER_PROTOTYPE |
| Prototype Base class for primitive classification. More... | |
| struct | GIM_BOX_TREE_NODE |
| Node Structure for trees. More... | |
| class | GIM_BOX_TREE |
| Basic Box tree structure. More... | |
| class | GIM_BOX_TREE_TEMPLATE_SET< _GIM_PRIMITIVE_MANAGER_PROTOTYPE, _GIM_BOX_TREE_PROTOTYPE > |
| Generic Box Tree Template. More... | |
| class | GIM_BOX_TREE_SET< _GIM_PRIMITIVE_MANAGER_PROTOTYPE > |
| Class for Box Tree Sets. More... | |
| class | GIM_TREE_TREE_COLLIDER< BOX_SET_CLASS0, BOX_SET_CLASS1 > |
| GIM_BOX_SET collision methods. More... |
Definition in file gim_box_set.h.


In more words…
At the time of creating this product, there weren’t any other solutions out there. We designed the architecture around common Linux kernel functionality to ensure well-known practices around inode monitoring. The rest of which was making sure it performed well in a clustered environment, and had features that security experts and assessors could healthily engage on.


My project
Individual Tasks |
|---|
| Week 1 Individual Task About the theme chosen for my dataset and a description of the current manifestations of related data. |
| Week 2 Individual Task The notated data I transcribed using MuseScore is available as MEI files in Week 4's task. |
| Week 3 Individual Task The different versions of my MEI files displayed using Verovio. |
| Week 4 Individual Task My original MEI files displayed using Verovio. I Giorni Discovery at Night |
| Week 5 Individual Task The jSymbolic files and the music21 visualisations. |
| Week 7 Individual Task The metadata for my files is available in the MEI files in Week 4's task. |
| Week 8 Individual Task Technical and non-technical metadata and the spectograms and waveforms extracted using SonicVisualiser. |
| Week 9 Individual Task The panes extracted using SonicVisualiser and the histograms computed using Python. |
| Week 10 Individual Task Similarity visualisations and SonicVisualiser transcription comparison. |


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Welcome to RightResource


Software Engineer with 5 years of experience.
Over the years, I have worked as
- QA Analyst, Apple Inc
- L2 Software Engineer, IBM
- Technical Support | Systems Engineer, Rozan NGO
Now i am working with Dev bootcamp to become an aspiring developer. Checkout my blog, it's a work in progress.
This site will never be a finished product, so please forgive the little inconsistencies. If it’s an obvious bug, I’d love it if you let me know.


VIEW:
Full
Center
Spread
Split
BH Categories
NS Categories
TOGGLE:
Black Holes
Neutron Stars
GW Detections
EM Detections
Title
Labels
Axis
Mergers
BH Error Bars
NS Error Bars
Mass Gap
SCALE:
Logarithmic
Linear
ZOOM:
Full
Neutron Stars
LOOK:
Scheme:
Dark
|
Light
Radius:
Scale
|
Equal
Shading:
Stellar
|
Plain
Color-mode:
Blend
|
None
In Front:
Stars
|
Bars
Save Image
Web
|
Large
Tutorial?


A .css file generally contains many styling rules that are then applied to any .html file linking to it. Rather than putting style elements in the .html file itself, which can clutter the page and make editing tedious, CSS lets us globally define styles for html elements. For example, in your .css file you can set a style to be applied to every h1 tag in your .html. This will give every h1 tag in your .html the same styling, without having to define it in the .html document itself. Then, if you ever want to change the given styling, you only have to change one line of code.


[1]
1080p resloution, excellent price, great features; none, just a great tv.
[2]
Price; Known name brand; 4 HDMI slots; Stuck pixels


The Mofflys
The Mofflys is a vr shooter game that will be released on playstation, steam, oculus and more in 2019. In the game you are a creation of the mofflys, 'murder clone'. With a wide variety of weapons you will play through sets of minigames to invade earth and cause mayhem. The game exists of multiple worlds with classic themes like Egypt, Amazon River, Western world and more.
READ MORESpace Escape
Space Escape is a 3D platformer which is based around the element challenge. In this game you are trapped in space. And you have to find your way through the asteroids by collecting currency with which you can purchase powerups at the vendor machine.
READ MOREOrbit Singularity
Orbit Singularity is an orbit game created during the 2018 Global Gamejam. You try to find extraterrestial life by sending signals through as many satellites as possible.
Game Breaker
Game Breaker is a puzzle based top down dungeon crawler. In the game the main caracter wants to break out of the game. But the developer of the game, which is the bad guy, tries to stop you.
READ MOREJungle Arena
Jungle Arena is a 2D top down highscore game. You try to survive as long as possible. Enemies will be spawned at intervals. But be aware. If you don't take them out, they might overrun you.
READ MORE