Edward Onoja Votes In #KogiDecides, Reveals Why Yahaya Bello Will Be Re-elected
by George OgboluThe Deputy Governorship candidate of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Edward Onoja, has voted in the Kogi State Guber election.
Naija News reports that Onoja, who was the former Chief of Staff to Governor Yahaya Bello, voted on Saturday at unit 13, ward 3, Omonyoku-Odidoko, Ogugu-Olamaboro Local Government Area of Kogi.
Speaking to newsmen after voting, Edward Onoja said voters were eager to return Yahaya Bello to office.
He said residents want Yahaya Bello to return as Governor because they want him to consolidate on his achievements.
Onoja said: “You can see the enthusiasm of the voters who want to usher in a government that will continue to consolidate on its gains in service delivery.
”God brought a divine leader who in spite of coming from another senatorial district saw the need to meet the infrastructural gap in the Eastern district that has always produced the governor of the state.
”Because of this, our people who are people of gratitude appreciate that gesture and then made up their mind to repay good for good.
”I think today at the end of the day, we will all be happy.”
Naija News had reported that Bello voted at Agaza Okene-Eba/Agassa/Ahache Ward, Unit 11, Okene Local Government.
The governor who is also the candidate All progressive party (APC) was the first key stakeholder to cast his vote.


[Summary] [Package List] [Test Cases]
| Tests | Errors | Failures | Skipped | Success Rate | Time |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 26 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 100% | 1.903 |
Note: failures are anticipated and checked for with assertions while errors are unanticipated.
[Summary] [Package List] [Test Cases]
| Package | Tests | Errors | Failures | Skipped | Success Rate | Time |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| org.apache.maven.shared.osgi | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 100% | 0.089 |
| org.apache.felix.bundleplugin | 22 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 100% | 1.814 |
Note: package statistics are not computed recursively, they only sum up all of its testsuites numbers.
| Class | Tests | Errors | Failures | Skipped | Success Rate | Time | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Maven2OsgiConverterTest | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 100% | 0.089 |
| Class | Tests | Errors | Failures | Skipped | Success Rate | Time | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| BlueprintComponentTest | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 100% | 0.82 | |
| BundleAllPluginTest | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 100% | 0.19 | |
| BundlePluginTest | 14 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 100% | 0.767 | |
| JpaPluginTest | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 100% | 0.033 | |
| ManifestWriterTest | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 100% | 0.004 |
[Summary] [Package List] [Test Cases]
| testGetBundleFileName | 0.026 | |
| testConvertVersionToOsgi | 0.014 | |
| testGetVersion | 0.026 | |
| testGetBundleSymbolicName | 0.023 |


Library Name
Version
Released Date
OS
Language
Author
OOP
Description
Standards for administration, archiving, invoicing and compliance increasingly rely on PDF. iText is the right partner to help you automate your documentation processes. We offer powerful and flexible tools for PDF creation, editing and inspection, and have been doing so for over 15 years. With the release of iText 7, redesigned from the ground up, even more features and functionalities are now at developers' fingertips. iText serves over 5,000 customers across the world, including finance, governmental, technology and logistics companies. With us, you can truly take your documentation needs to the next level.
Version History
| Version | Realese Date | Download URL |
|---|---|---|
| 3.0.0 | 3rd May 2016 |<EMAIL_ADDRESS>|
| 2.0.0 | 15th February 2016 |<EMAIL_ADDRESS>|
| 1.0.0 | 1st January 2016 |<EMAIL_ADDRESS>|


24 July, 2015
Lait Modi: “Yes, Sushma Swaraj did help, but I would have got the papers anyway”
Page 1 of 3
Tucked into the north end of Shepherd Market, a higgledy corner of Mayfair known for centuries for its high-end brothels, is a discreet black door, half hidden by an archway, with a buzzer bearing the legend: ‘Linderborg Law’. Like the market’s traditional business establishments, it is designed to welcome only those who know what goes on inside, not to enlighten those who do not. I press the buzzer, wait five minutes for the door to open, then am ushered silently in by a short, unsmiling factotum, later known to me as Saeed.
Lalit Modi is on the second floor, seated at a boardroom table in an otherwise empty room. He does not acknowledge me, so consumed is he by the business at hand. “Tell them to get it to you and what sort of a model you want, and they’ll do it,” he is saying, in his characteristic half- shout, to his younger brother Samir, who apparently needs a new iPhone. Then Lalit looks up and says, by way of a greeting: “So, this is my new law firm.”
Not a lawyer, no, but an investor. It's a new venture I've invessted a low-firm, or low practice, or rather a low consultancy firm"
I am surprised. “But Lalit, you’re not a lawyer, are you?”
 It’s a new venture I’ve invested in, a law firm, or law practice, or rather a law consultancy firm.
“Our potential clients, and there are quite a few of them, are people who have been politically targeted,” he says, after ushering me upstairs to another almost-empty room. “Let’s just state simply, I’m an ideal client for this law firm, or law consultancy firm. It’s a very good business. We have lots of Russian clients, lots of international clients, now we are starting an Indian operation. We have an Australian operation, we have a Middle East operation, an American operation, so we are expanding.”
For his many complicated legal battles, waged in London, Delhi and elsewhere, Lalit Modi has used over a dozen law and professional services firms. To spare others with similar complications that trouble, he explains, his idea is to bring together the best of his councillors into a handy, Lalit-curated “one-stop shop”. “With the experience that I have in the last five years of being a political victim, a lot of friends of mine, or people that I know, started coming to me saying, ‘Can you advise us? Can you help us? Can you put us in touch with X, Y, Z, who you have used and not used? And what is your thought process and how have you handled this matter? Because you have successfully fought in England, fought in India, gone to the international courts, whether it was Interpol-related, involved fiscal issues…’ or the whole different areas that I was attacked under.”
Then Lalit Modi pauses, as if momentarily perplexed. He appears not to remember the name of his brilliant new venture. “It’s, no … one second,” he says, grabbing his phone and rifling hurriedly through emails. “I’m just looking for this, now, how do you spell it? Yes, Lindeborg Law, L-I-N-D-E-B-O-R-G.”
It is a couple of years since I last met up with Lalit Modi, at a launch-party for my book on Indian cricket, The Great Tamasha. He had invited himself, which I found a bit unnerving at the time. The book, a tour through the rank politics and corruption that have ballooned in Indian cricket with its riches, was notunstingly complimentary about the IPL’s founder and former commissioner. It described the perennial scandals in his creation, the rumours of match-fixing, the sordid rows and conflicts of interest, the $80 million kickback—or ‘facilitation fee’— he was alleged to have pocketed on a convoluted broadcasting deal, and which in turn led to his suspension by the BCCI and (though he denied that it was linked) sudden relocation to London.


| Cockpit Guide |
|---|
jquery.jsjquery.js — jQuery library |
<script src="../base1/jquery.js"></script>
To use jQuery in your package include the above script. Other Cockpit and PatternFly code requires jQuery. You should always load it, if you use any of the other Cockpit javascript code. It should be the first javascript module loaded.
The current jQuery version is 2.x. In the latest
package we may
track relatively recent versions of jQuery. Other packages may provide more stable versions
of jQuery in the future.
Also included in this file are the jQuery plugins used. For this package these these are at least: Bootstrap 3.0.3.


@* * Copyright 2023 HM Revenue & Customs * * Licensed under the Apache License, Version 2.0 (the "License"); * you may not use this file except in compliance with the License. * You may obtain a copy of the License at * * http://www.apache.org/licenses/LICENSE-2.0 * * Unless required by applicable law or agreed to in writing, software * distributed under the License is distributed on an "AS IS" BASIS, * WITHOUT WARRANTIES OR CONDITIONS OF ANY KIND, either express or implied. * See the License for the specific language governing permissions and * limitations under the License. *@ @import uk.gov.hmrc.cataloguefrontend.connector.GitRepository @import uk.gov.hmrc.cataloguefrontend.EnableBranchProtection @import uk.gov.hmrc.cataloguefrontend.routes @(repo : GitRepository, hasBranchProtectionAuth: EnableBranchProtection.HasAuthorisation )(implicit request : RequestHeader ) @boolToGlyph(bool: Boolean) = { @if(bool) { enabled } else { not enabled } }


--- layout: default date: 08/05/2020 ---
Covers races from 4th March, 2020 — 22nd April, 2020.
Last updated: {{ page.date | date: "%A, %B %e" }}
{% include standings.html riders=site.data.2020.series_2.timetrial teams=site.data.2020.series_2.timetrialteam %} {% include datetime.html %}


In case you want to geek out on policy, we have a few resources for you to read. These are research-based, independent data analysis on Nebraska's budget, public education finances, as well as interesting state agency topics. Additionally, there is a link to the Legislative Fiscal Office - a great resource for the latest budget information. And the Nebraska Legislature Bill Tracker page.


Our team of professionals will help you in maintainance of equipments after guarantee period.
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{% extends 'pages/base.html' %} {% block title %}
Gateway timeout: The HuBMAP API did not satisfy this request. Either the API is down, or the server is running at an address which hasn't been whitelisted.


Why do we need relational databases?
Storing data is not the problem, managing it however is a tougher task.
We need to retrieve stored information quickly.
We want to form relationships between our datasets.
We want to update our stored information quickly and safely.
What is a relational database?
A database consists of tables. You can store up to 2,147,483,647 tables in a single database.
Each table consists of records(rows) and fields(columns).
The rows are split into columns, which contain our stored data.
Most tables poses a Primary Key(PK). Tables can not contain duplicate Primary Keys.
Tables can also poses a Foreign Key(FK). Foreign Keys(FK) are used to create relationships between tables.
There are three kinds of relationships between tables - one-to-one, one-to-many and many-to-many.
In a one-to-one relationship a row from table "A" can be linked to exactly one row from table "B", and a row from database "B" can be linked with exactly one row from table "A".
In a one-to-many relationship a row from table "A" can be linked with an arbitrary amount of rows from table "B", but a row from table "B" can not be linked with more than one row from table "A".
In a many-to-many relationship a row from table "A" can be linked with an arbitrary amount of rows from table "B" and vice versa.
In order to represent the relationships between tables in a database, we use UML diagrams.
How do we use a relational database?
In order to use a relational database, we need a Relational Database Management System. RDBMS
The RDBMS is a specialized software solution for manipulating data in a relational database.
Some of the most popular RDBMS are Oracle, MySQL, MS SQL Server and PostgreSQL.
In order to manipulate the data stored in our database, we give the RDBMS instructions using a special declarative programming language named SEQUEL(SQL).
By using SQL we can create, retrieve, update and delete data from our relational database. This set of operations is known as CRUD.


Four options are available: top, right, bottom, and left aligned.
Ice cream tootsie roll tiramisu tootsie roll toffee dragée sugar plum cake. Liquorice jelly jujubes. Powder danish tart apple pie dessert cheesecake tiramisu soufflé bonbon. Carrot cake wafer toffee.
Add .popover-top
class for top popover along with .popover
class.
Ice cream tootsie roll tiramisu tootsie roll toffee dragée sugar plum cake. Liquorice jelly jujubes. Powder danish tart apple pie dessert cheesecake tiramisu soufflé bonbon. Carrot cake wafer toffee.
Add .popover-right
class for right popover along with .popover
class.
Ice cream tootsie roll tiramisu tootsie roll toffee dragée sugar plum cake. Liquorice jelly jujubes. Powder danish tart apple pie dessert cheesecake tiramisu soufflé bonbon. Carrot cake wafer toffee.
Add .popover-bottom
class for bottom popover along with .popover
class.
Ice cream tootsie roll tiramisu tootsie roll toffee dragée sugar plum cake. Liquorice jelly jujubes. Powder danish tart apple pie dessert cheesecake tiramisu soufflé bonbon. Carrot cake wafer toffee.
Add .popover-left
class for left popover along with .popover
class.
Four options are available: top, right, bottom, and left aligned.
Add data-toggle="popover"
& data-placement="top"
to add top popover.
Add data-toggle="popover"
& data-placement="right"
to add right popover.
Add data-toggle="popover"
& data-placement="bottom"
to add bottom popover.
Add data-toggle="popover"
& data-placement="left"
to add left popover.
This event fires immediately when the show
instance method is called.
This event is fired when the popover has been made visible to the user (will wait for CSS transitions to complete).
This event is fired immediately when the hide
instance method has been called.
This event is fired when the popover has finished being hidden from the user (will wait for CSS transitions to complete).
This is considered a “manual” triggering of the popover.Popovers whose both title and content are zero-length are never displayed.
Reveals an element’s popover. Returns to the caller before the popover has actually been shown.(i.e. before the shown.bs.popover
event occurs)
Hides an element’s popover. Returns to the caller before the popover has actually been hidden (i.e. before the hidden.bs.popover
event occurs).
Toggles an element’s popover. Returns to the caller before the popover has actually been shown or hidden (i.e. before the shown.bs.popover
or hidden.bs.popover
event occurs).
Hides and destroys an element’s popover. Popovers that use delegation cannot be individually destroyed on descendant trigger elements.
Popover is triggered using - click | hover | focus | manual options. You may pass multiple triggers; separate them with a space. "manual" cannot be combined with any other trigger.
Use data-trigger="hover"
for hover trigger.
Use data-trigger="click"
for click trigger. This is a default trigger.
Use data-trigger="focus"
for focus trigger.
Use data-trigger="manual"
for manual trigger. You can do show/hide using js
Use data-animation="false"
to remove fade animation. Default is true.
Delay showing and hiding the popover (ms
) - does not apply to manual trigger type.
Use data-html="true"
for HTML supported trigger.
Base HTML to use when creating the popover. The popover's title will be injected into the .popover-inner
. .arrow
will become the popover's arrow.The outermost wrapper element should have the .popover
class.


Eigenvectors of a matrix are those vectors, which, multiplied with the matrix, are scalar multiples of themselves.
.
λ is the eigenvalue.
Eigenvalues can be found by solving the equation
det(A - λ I) =0 (I = identity matrix).
The eigenvectors are then calculated from (A - λI) = 0.
Eigenvalues and eigenvectors of structural orientation data can be explained with a physical model.
Supposing the data are represented by mass points on the globe (with the masses m = 1), two axes must exist which have a maximum and a minimum moment of inertia. a third axis is normal to these two axes. with these three axes an ellipsoid can be constructed in analogy to the stress- or strain-ellipsoid. This ellipsoid is called the orientation-ellipsoid. the corresponding tensor is the orientation tensor. The directions of the axes of this ellipsoid are the eigenvectors Their lengths are the eigenvalues with .
(n = number of data).
In the diagram the normalized eigenvalues are used .?with .
The eigenvectors are: .


What is Hydrograph?
The Hydrograph UI product is an executable(exe) file, that helps create jobs with the help of variety of components that are provided through an interactive user interface. Users can either use the existing components in their jobs or create new custom components as per requirements.
Hydrograph provides options to save and run jobs. The jobs can be run either locally or remotely. Remote mode for run, will submit the jobs on remote Hadoop cluster.
The Hydrograph UI communicates with the underlying Hydrograph engine to fetch execution results and job progress on the job console.


Use the Find Next (F3) menu option when you want to continue the search for a given search term that you have entered in the Find and Replace dialog box.
The system will search in the same direction as applied to your last search, and a distinction will be made between upper and lower case letters if this also applied to the last search.


@since SDL 7.0.0
- (nonnull instancetype)initWithTryAgainTime:
(nullable NSNumber<SDLUInt> *)tryAgainTime;
init(tryAgainTime: (NSNumber & SDLUInt)?)
- tryAgainTime
A SDLSubtleAlertResponse object
Amount of time (in milliseconds) that an app must wait before resending an alert. If provided, another system event or overlay currently has a higher priority than this alert. An app must not send an alert without waiting at least the amount of time dictated. {“default_value”: null, “max_value”:<PHONE_NUMBER>, “min_value”: 0}
@property (nonatomic, strong, nullable) NSNumber<SDLUInt> *tryAgainTime;
var tryAgainTime: (NSNumber & SDLUInt)? { get set }


There was once a crow who did not like his feathers. “I wish I were a peacock!” He would say. “You are beautiful as you are!” The other crows insisted. “How plain and dull you seem to me!” He’d complain, and fly off to admire the peacocks.
The peacocks strutted about with their colourful tail feathers outstretched. To the delight of the crow, some of the peacock feathers lay on the ground when the peacocks left. The crow flew down to the ground and stuck the feathers into his wings and tail. He attached a few sticking up from his head.
“Now I am as beautiful as a peacock,” he said. But , when he went to join them in their strutting, the peacocks poked him and pecked him. What a fuss! “You are not a peacock,” they said, “don’t imitate us!” Bruised and still dragging some broken peacock feathers in his tail, he returned home. After all his insults, no one wanted his company.
As he sat alone, the other crows said, “It’s foolish to try and be what you’re not. Learn to love the feathers you’ve got!”


| Methods Summary | ||
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public
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#
validate_new_block( BenHarold\Blockchain\Block $block )
Determine if a new block is a valid extension of the current blockchain.
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protected
array
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$blocks
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array (
)
|


#include <boost/preprocessor/selection/min.hpp>BOOST_PP_MIN(5, 7) // 展开为 5BOOST_PP_MIN(3, 3) // 展开为 3
Distributed under the Boost Software License, Version 1.0. (See accompanying file LICENSE_1_0.txt or copy at www.boost.org/LICENSE_1_0.txt)


Maps
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306B Complex Commons, Lexington, KY 40526 (in the Blanding-Kirwan Complex on south campus)
Champions Court 1, Lexington, KY 40526 (the residence hall across from the Student Center on north campus)
William T Young Library Basement


* A tribute song
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Generation Picker
EAMES LOUNGE
CHAIR 670/671
1ST GENERATION
2ND GENERATION
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WITH CUSHIONS
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Color Picker
CUSTOMIZE AN
EAMES LOUNGE


◄
Leaflet.Control.Search
JSONP Example:
search locations by jsonp service
Search values:
aquamarine, black, blue, cyan, darkblue, darkred, darkgray, dodgerblue, gray, green, red, skyblue, yellow, white ...
Website
•
Stefano Cudini


DO THE RIGHT THING A film review by Mark R. Leeper Copyright 1989 Mark R. Leeper
Capsule review: With one film Spike Lee goes from being a one-film director to being a major Hollywood talent. This is a realistic film of insight, intelligence, and even some wit, but no easy answers. [Minor spoiler follows.] A likable "street film" turns into ANATOMY OF A RACE RIOT. Rating: high +2.
Spike Lee, who charmed the critics and audiences with the low-budget SHE'S GOTTA HAVE IT, then disappointed people--at least me--with SCHOOL DAZE, has made his third film and this time his work is both entertaining and important. Lee clearly did the right thing when he made DO THE RIGHT THING. This film is really the anatomy of a race riot. And it is a film in three dimensions.  I found myself thinking how wonderful to have a film with conflict and without having the good guys and bad guys spelled out for me. In fact, nobody is entirely right and nobody entirely wrong. That is what life is like. Lee is a good enough director that he makes some blacks and some whites likable, and some of each not likable.
DO THE RIGHT THING follows about 26 hours in the life of a neighborhood in the Bedford-Stuyvesant section of Brooklyn. Most of the action centers around Sal's Famous Pizzeria. Sal himself (played by Danny Aiello) does not seem at all like the sort of person who would be the center of a race riot. He has a genuine affection for the people in the nearly all-black neighborhood. He takes pride that the local kids grew up on his pizza. Yet in the space of a few short hours on a hot summer day, small irritations would boil over into violence. Tantalizingly slowly, Lee shows us how that happens. We get to know the neighborhood and particularly an old drunkard nicknamed Da Mayor (beautifully played by Ossie Davis). But this film has many major characters and several stories being told at one time. Lee has given himself a major role as a black man working out his problems and frustrations. He has resisted the temptation to make himself either a good guy or a bad guy. He plays just one more person in the neighborhood.
One of the more interesting subplots concerns the mini-grocery run a Korean couple. The locals wonder why this little grocery has proved so profitable when black businesses so often fail in the same neighborhood. Some of the locals are unsure just what their attitude is toward the Koreans. Do they resent them, admire them, or what? And the question will become even more pointed when the night brings violence.
Issues of attitude come up through the day as groups in the neighborhood come in contact with each other in numerous permutations. The issues are not just black versus white, but also whether violence is ever right. The film even concludes with contradictory quotes from Martin Luther King and Malcolm X on the justification of violence. This may not be the best film of the summer, but it is the most ambitious. It is this year's MATEWAN, low-budget but satisfying like few high-budget films. This is an R-rated, perhaps a little strong for the children in the audience, but they seemed to have gotten a lot out of it and the adults even more. I rate it a high +2 on the -4 to +4 scale.
Mark R. Leeper att!mtgzx!leeper<EMAIL_ADDRESS>The review above was posted to the
rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup (de.rec.film.kritiken for German reviews).
The Internet Movie Database accepts no responsibility for the contents of the
review and has no editorial control. Unless stated otherwise, the copyright
belongs to the author.
Please direct comments/criticisms of the review to relevant newsgroups.
Broken URLs inthe reviews are the responsibility of the author.
The formatting of the review is likely to differ from the original due
to ASCII to HTML conversion.
Related links: index of all rec.arts.movies.reviews reviews


You can be part of this amazing project click to learn more
We are currently putting together a video tutorial that will offer a glimpse into all of the activities and tours that are awaiting your next visit to the Riviera Maya! Please check back frequently for freshly added content!
COMING SOONAs you can tell we have just recently launched our site and are eager to get things up and running at full capacity!
Our goal here at Extreme Riviera Maya is to offer the world all the extreme sports and activities that Mexico’s Riviera Maya has to offer.... and believe us, there are plenty of options!
For those that are unfamiliar, the Riviera Maya includes a large portion of Mexico’s Yucatán Peninsula that includes the greater areas of Cancun, Playa del Carmen, Tulum, extending all the way down to Belize... essentially the entire state of Quintana Roo, Mexico.
From some of the worlds’ best beaches to Ancient Maya Ruins there are endless opportunities to satisfy your inner need for adrenaline pumping activities! Whether it be cave diving/snorkeling within the worlds’ most extensive underground network of rivers, lakes, Cenotes and reefs to soaking up the breathtaking views of the ancient coastal jungle while Sky Diving from high above Playa del Carmen... there is sure to be something for everyone!
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CONTACT INFO:
E-MAIL<EMAIL_ADDRESS>ADRESS: Cancún, México.


There are more usefull features like directives. You will find them in the README.md of this project
In combination with lit-element this syntax is very expressive.


cssdb is a comprehensive list of CSS features and their positions in the process of becoming implemented web standards.
${feature.description}
Specification
${feature.example}
Want to contribute? Checkout the cssdb on GitHub


Access Star Trek content from Memory Beta (https://memory-beta.fandom.com/wiki/Main_Page).
memory_beta(endpoint)
| endpoint | character, See details. |
|---|
a data frame
The content returned is always a data frame. The structure changes slightly depending on the nature of the endpoint, but results from different endpoints can be merged easily.
At the highest level, passing enpoind = "portals"
returns a data frame listing the available Memory Beta portals supported by rtrek
.
A column of relative URLs is also included for reference, but can be ignored. Compared to Memory Alpha, Memory Beta does not technically offer "portals",
but for consistency in rtrek
, several high level categories on Memory Beta are treated as portal options.
See memory_alpha
for comparison.
In all other cases, the endpoint string must begin with one of the valid portal IDs.
Passing only the ID returns a data frame with IDs and relative URLs associated with the available categories in the specific portal.
Unlike memory_alpha
, there are no group
or subgroup
columns.
Memory Beta offers a more consistent reliance on the simple hierarchy of categories and articles.
Selecting a specific category within a portal is done by appending the portal ID in endpoint
with the category ID, separated by a forward slash.
You can append nested subcategory IDs with forward slashes, provided the subcategories exist.
When the endpoint is neither a top-level portal or one of a portal's categories (or subcategories, if available), it is an article.
An article is a terminal node, meaning you cannot nest further. An article will be any entry whose URL does not begin with Category:
.
In this case, the content returned is still a data frame for consistency, but differs substantially from the results of non-terminal endpoints.
Memory Beta is not a database containing convenient tables. Articles comprise the bulk of what Memory Beta has to offer.
They are not completely unstructured text, but are loosely structured.
Some assumptions are made and memory_beta
returns a data frame containing article text and links.
It is up to the user what to do with this information, e.g., performing text analyses.
The url
column included in results for context uses relative paths to save space. The full URLs all begin the same.
To visit a URL directly, prepend it with https://memory-beta.fandom.com/wiki/
.
Also note that once you know the relative URL for an article, e.g., "Worf,_son_of_Mogh"
,
you do not need to traverse through one of the portals using an endpoint
string to retrieve its content.
You can instead use mb_article("Worf,_son_of_Mogh")
.
memory_beta
provides an overview perspective on how content available at Memory Beta is organized and can be searched for through
a variety of hierarchical layouts. And in some cases this structure that can be obtained in table form can be useful as data or metadata
in itself. Alternatively, mb_article
is focused exclusively on pulling back content from known articles.
memory_beta("portals") # show available portals#> # A tibble: 13 x 2 #> id url #> <chr> <chr> #> 1 books Category:Books #> 2 comics Category:Comics #> 3 characters Category:Characters #> 4 culture Category:Culture #> 5 games Category:Games #> 6 geography Category:Geography #> 7 locations Category:Locations #> 8 materials Category:Materials_and_substances #> 9 politics Category:Politics #> 10 science Category:Science #> 11 starships Category:Starships #> 12 technology Category:Technology #> 13 timeline Category:Timelineendpoint <- "characters/Characters by races and cultures/Klingonoids/Klingons" # \donttest{ x <- memory_beta(endpoint) x <- x[grep("Worf", x$Klingons), ] x#> # A tibble: 7 x 2 #> Klingons url #> <chr> <chr> #> 1 K'Dhan, son of Worf K%27Dhan,_son_of_Worf #> 2 Mogh, son of Worf Mogh,_son_of_Worf #> 3 Worf (mirror) Worf_(mirror) #> 4 Worf's family Worf%27s_family #> 5 Worf, father of Mogh Worf,_father_of_Mogh #> 6 Worf, son of Mogh Worf,_son_of_Mogh #> 7 Worf, son of Mogh (alternates) Worf,_son_of_Mogh_(alternates)#> # A tibble: 1 x 4 #> title content metadata categories #> <chr> <list> <list> <list> #> 1 Worf, son of Mogh <xml_ndst> <NULL> <tibble[,2] [48 x 2]># }


| RIDER | Hey -- sorry. |
| KAT | Leave it |
| BIANCA | Did you change your hair? |
| CHASTITY | No. |
| BIANCA | You might wanna think about it |
| BOY | (adoring) Hey, Bianca. |
| GIRL | Awesome shoes. |
| MISS PERKY | I'm sure you won't find Padua any different than your old school. Same little asswipe mother-fuckers everywhere. |
| MISS PERKY | (continuing) Any questions? |
| CAMERON | I don't think so, ma'am |
| MISS PERKY | Then go forth. Scoot I've got deviants to see. |
| MISS PERKY | (continuing) Patrick Verona. I see we're making our visits a weekly ritual. |
| PATRICK | I missed you. |
| MISS PERKY | It says here you exposed yourself to a group of freshmen girls. |
| PATRICK | It was a bratwurst. I was eating lunch. |
| MISS PERKY | With the teeth of your zipper? |
| MICHAEL | You the new guy? |
| CAMERON | So they tell me... |
| MICHAEL | C'mon. I'm supposed to give you the tour. |
| MICHAEL | (continuing) So -- which Dakota you from? |
| CAMERON | North, actually. How'd you ? |
| MICHAEL | I was kidding. People actually live there? |
| CAMERON | Yeah. A couple. We're outnumbered by the cows, though. |
| MICHAEL | How many people were in your old school? |
| CAMERON | Thirty-two. |
| MICHAEL | Get out! |
| CAMERON | How many people go here? |
| MICHAEL | Couple thousand. Most of them evil |
| MICHAEL | We've got your basic beautiful people. Unless they talk to you first, don't bother. |
| MICHAEL | (continuing) Those 're your cowboys. |
| CAMERON | That I'm used to. |
| MICHAEL | Yeah, but these guys have never seen a horse. They just jack off to Clint Eastwood. |
| MICHAEL | (continuing) To the right, we have the Coffee Kids. Very edgy. Don't make any sudden movements around them. |
| MICHAEL | And these delusionals are the White Rastae. |
| MICHAEL | (continuing) Big Marley fans. Think they're black. Semi-political, but mostly, they watch a lot of Wild Kingdom, if you know what I mean. |
| MICHAEL | (continuing) Derek - save some for after lunch, bub? |
| DEREK | (very stoned) Michael, my brother, peace |
| CAMERON | So where do you fit in all this? |
| MICHAEL | Future MBAs- We're all Ivy League, already accepted. Someday I'll be sipping Merlot while those guys -- |
| MICHAEL | (continuing) are fixing my Saab. Yuppie greed is back, my friend. |
| CAMERON | That girl -- I -- |
| MICHAEL | You burn, you pine, you perish? |
| CAMERON | Who is she? |
| MICHAEL | Bianca Stratford. Sophomore. Don't even think about it |
| CAMERON | Why not? |
| MICHAEL | I could start with your haircut, but it doesn't matter. She's not allowed to date until her older sister does. And that's an impossibility. |
| MRS. BLAISE | Well, then. Oh, yes. I guess that does it for our analysis of The Old Man and the Sea. Any other comments? (with dread) Kat? |
| KAT | Why didn't we just read the Hardy Boys? |
| MRS. BLAISE | I'm sorry? |
| KAT | This book is about a guy and his fishing habit. Not exactly a crucial topic. |
| KAT | (continuing) Frankly, I'm baffled as to why we still revere Hemingway. He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who had a lot of cats. |
| JOEY | As opposed to a bitter self-righteous hag who has no friends? |
| MRS.  Charlotte Bronte? Simone de Beauvoir? |
| PATRICK | Mother Goose? |
| MISS PERKY | Katarina Stratford. My, my. You've been terrorizing Ms. Blaise again. |
| KAT | Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action. |
| MISS PERKY | Well, yes, compared to your other choices of expression this year, today's events are quite mild. By the way, Bobby Rictor's gonad retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested. |
| KAT | I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls. I was merely a spectator. |
| MISS PERKY | The point is Kat -- people perceive you as somewhat ... |
| KAT | Tempestuous? |
| MISS PERKY | No ... I believe "heinous bitch" is the term used most often. |
| MISS PERKY | (continuing) You might want to work on that |
| KAT | As always, thank you for your excellent guidance. |
| TEACHER (0.S.) | I realize the language of Mr. Shakespeare makes him a bit daunting, but I'm sure you're all doing your best. |
| TEACHER (0.S.) | (continuing) Ms. Stratford, do you care to comment on what you've read so far? |
| BIANCA | Not really. |
| TEACHER | Mandella -- since you're assisting us, you might as well comment. I'm assuming you read the assignment. |
| MANDELLA | Uh, yeah, I read it all |
| TEACHER | The whole play^ |
| MANDELIA | The whole folio. All the plays. |
| TEACHER | (disbelieving) You've read every play by William Shakespeare? |
| MANDELLA | Haven't you? |
| KAT | The fact that you're cutting gym so you can T.A. Sophomore English just to hear his name, is a little without in itself if you ask me. |
| MANDELLA | Who's that? |
| KAT | Patrick Verona Random skid. |
| MANDELLA | That's Pat Verona? The one who was gone for a year? I heard he was doing porn movies. |
| KAT | I'm sure he's completely incapable of doing anything that interesting. |
| MANDELLA | He always look so |
| KAT | Block E? |
| KAT | (continuing) Mandella, eat. Starving yourself is a very slow way to die. |
| MANDELLA | Just a little. |
| KAT | What's this? |
| MANDELLA | An attempted slit. |
| KAT | I realize that the men of this fine institution are severely lacking, but killing yourself so you can be with William Shakespeare is beyond the scope of normal teenage obsessions. You're venturing far past daytime talk show fodder and entering the world of those who need very expensive therapy. |
| MANDELLA | But imagine the things he'd say during sex. |
| KAT | Okay, say you do it. You kill yourself, you end up in wherever you end up and he's there. Do you really think he's gonna wanna dace a ninety pound compulsive who failed volleyball? |
| COHORT | Virgin alert. |
| JOEY | Lookin' good, ladies. |
| MANDELLA | Tragic. |
| CAMERON | Why do girls like that always like guys like that? |
| MICHAEL | Because they're bred to. Their mothers liked guys like that, and their grandmothers before them. Their gene pool is rarely diluted. |
| CAMERON | He always have that shit-eating grin? |
| MICHAEL | Joey Dorsey? Perma-shit-grin. I wish I could say he's a moron, but he's number twelve in the class. And a model. Mostly regional stuff, but he's rumored to have a big tube sock ad coming out. |
| MICHAEL | (continuing) You know French? |
| CAMERON | Sure do ... my Mom's from Canada |
| MICHAEL | Guess who just signed up for a tutor? |
| CAMERON | You mean I'd get a chance to talk to her? |
| MICHAEL | You could consecrate with her, my friend. |
| JOEY | (re her dress) The vintage look is over, Kat.  Tough break. |
| JOEY | (practically spitting) They're running the rest of me next month. |
| KAT | The people at this school are so incredibly foul. |
| MANDELLA | You could always go with me. I'm sure William has some friends. |
| JOEY | Need a ride, ladies? |
| MANDELLA | That's a charming new development |
| KAT | (yelling) Remove head from sphincter! Then pedal! |
| CAMERON | You all right? |
| MICHAEL | Yeah, just a minor encounter with the shrew. |
| CAMERON | That's her? Bianca's sister? |
| MICHAEL | The mewling, rampalian wretch herself. |
| KAT | "Undulating with desire, Adrienne removes her crimson cape, revealing her creamy --" |
| SHARON | In the microwave. |
| WALTER | (to Kat) Make anyone cry today? |
| KAT | Sadly, no. But it's only four-thirty. |
| KAT | (continuing) Where've you been? |
| BIANCA | (eyeing Walter) Nowhere... Hi, Daddy. |
| WALTER | Hello, precious. |
| KAT | How touching. |
| WALTER | What's this? It says Sarah Lawrence? |
| KAT | I guess I got in |
| SHARON | What's a synonym for throbbing? |
| WALTER | Sarah Lawrence is on the other side of the country. |
| KAT | I know. |
| WALTER | I thought we decided you were going to school here. At U of 0. |
| KAT | You decided. |
| BIANCA | Is there even a question that we want her to stay? |
| KAT | Ask Bianca who drove her home |
| SHARON | Swollen...turgid. |
| WALTER | (to Bianca; upset) Who drove you home? |
| BIANCA | Now don't get upset. Daddy, but there's this boy... and I think he might ask... |
| WALTER | No! You're not dating until your sister starts dating. End of discussion. |
| BIANCA | What if she never starts dating? |
| WALTER | Then neither will you. And I'll get to sleep at night. |
| BIANCA | But it's not fair -- she's a mutant, Daddy! |
| KAT | This from someone whose diary is devoted to favorite grooming tips? |
| WALTER | Enough! |
| WALTER | (continuing) Do you know what this is? |
| BIANCA AND WALTER | (in unison, by rote) The sound of a fifteen-year-old in labor. |
| WALTER | This is why you're not dating until your sister does. |
| BIANCA | But she doesn't want to date. |
| WALTER | Exactly my point |
| WALTER | (continuing) Jesus! Can a man even grab a sandwich before you women start dilating? |
| SHARON | Tumescent! |
| WALTER | (to Sharon; as he leaves) You're not helping. |
| BIANCA | Can we make this quick? Roxanne Korrine and Andrew Barrett are having an incredibly horrendous public break- up on the quad. Again. |
| CAMERON | Well, I thought we'd start with pronunciation, if that's okay with you. |
| BIANCA | Not the hacking and gagging and spitting part. Please. |
| CAMERON | (looking down) Okay... then how 'bout we try out some French cuisine. Saturday? Night? |
| BIANCA | You're asking me out. That's so cute. What's your name again? |
| CAMERON | (embarrassed) Forget it. |
| BIANCA | No, no, it's my fault -- we didn't have a proper introduction --- |
| CAMERON | Cameron. |
| BIANCA | The thing is, Cameron -- I'm at the mercy of a particularly hideous breed of loser. My sister. I can't date until she does. |
| CAMERON | Seems like she could get a date easy enough... |
| CAMERON | Why? |
| BIANCA | Unsolved mystery. She used to be really popular when she started high school, then it was just like she got sick of it or something. |
| CAMERON | That's a shame. |
| BIANCA | Gosh, if only we could find Kat a boyfriend... |
| CAMERON | Let me see what I can do. |
| MICHAEL | You're in school for one day and you ask out the most beautiful girl? Do you have no concept of the high school social code? |
| CAMERON | I teach her French, get to know her, dazzle her with charm and she falls in love with me. |
| MICHAEL | Unlikely, but even so, she still can't go out with you. So what's the point? |
| CAMERON | What about him? |
| MICHAEL | (confused) You wanna go out with him? |
| CAMERON | (impatient) No - he could wrangle with the sister. |
| MICHAEL | What makes you think he'll do it? |
| CAMERON | He seems like he thrives on danger |
| MICHAEL | No kidding. He's a criminal. I heard he lit a state trooper on fire. He just got out of Alcatraz... |
| CAMERON | They always let felons sit in on Honors Biology? |
| MICHAEL | I'm serious, man, he's whacked. He sold his own liver on the black market so he could buy new speakers. |
| CAMERON | Forget his reputation. Do you think we've got a plan or not? |
| MICHAEL | Did she actually say she'd go out with you? |
| CAMERON | That's what I just said |
| MICHAEL | You know, if you do go out with Bianca, you'd be set. You'd outrank everyone. Strictly A-list. With me by your side. |
| CAMERON | I thought you hated those people. |
| MICHAEL | Hey -- I've gotta have a few clients when I get to Wall Street. |
| CAMERON | So now all we gotta do is talk to him. |
| MICHAEL | I'll let you handle that. |
| PEPE | Some people like the Colombian, but it all depends on your acidity preference. Me? I prefer East African and Indonesian. You start the day with a Sumatra Boengie or maybe and Ethiopian Sidamo in your cup, you're that much farther ahead than someone drinkin' Cosia Rican or Kona -- you know what I mean? |
| CAMERON | Hey, there |
| CAMERON | (continuing) Later, then. |
| MICHAEL | Hey. |
| JOEY | Are you lost? |
| MICHAEL | Nope - just came by to chat |
| JOEY | We don't chat. |
| MICHAEL | Well, actually, I thought I'd run an idea by you. You know, just to see if you're interested. |
| JOEY | We're not. |
| MICHAEL | (grimacing) Hear me out. You want Bianca don't you? |
| MICHAEL | (continuing) But she can't go out with you because her sister is this insane head case and no one will go out with her. right? |
| JOEY | Does this conversation have a purpose? |
| MICHAEL | So what you need to do is recruit a guy who'll go out with her.  Besides -- when you let the enemy think he's orchestrating the battle, you're in a position of power. We let him pretend he's calling the shots, and while he's busy setting up the plan, you have time to woo Bianca. |
| CAMERON | You're one brilliant guy |
| KAT | So he has this huge raging fit about Sarah Lawrence and insists that I go to his male-dominated, puking frat boy, number one golf team school. I have no say at all. |
| MANDELLA | William would never have gone to a state school. |
| KAT | William didn't even go to high school |
| MANDELLA | That's never been proven |
| KAT | Neither has his heterosexuality. |
| KAT | (continuing) I appreciate your efforts toward a speedy death, but I'm consuming. (pointing at her food) Do you mind? |
| MANDELLA | Does it matter? |
| KAT | If I was Bianca, it would be, "Any school you want, precious. Don't forget your tiara."  You haven't done anything asinine this week. Are you not feeling well? |
| PATRICK | Touch of the flu. |
| MISS PERKY | I'm at a loss, then. What should we talk about?  Go do something repugnant and give us something to talk about next week. |
| MANDELLA | Look, it's really easy. |
| TREVOR | You're a freedom fighter. Be proud, sister. |
| MANDELLA | (rotely) It's Mandella with two L's. I am not related to Nelson Mandela. I am not a political figure. I do not live in South Africa. My parents just spent a few too many acid trips thinking they were revolutionaries. |
| TREVOR | But you freed our people |
| MANDELLA | Your "people" are white, suburban high school boys who smoke too much hemp. I have not freed you, Trevor. (grabbing his arm dramatically) Only you can free yourself. |
| BIANCA | C'esc ma tete. This is my head |
| CAMERON | Right. See? You're ready for the quiz. |
| BIANCA | I don't want to know how to say that though. I want to know useful things. Like where the good stores are. How much does champagne cost? Stuff like Chat. I have never in my life had to point out my head to someone. |
| CAMERON | That's because it's such a nice one. |
| BIANCA | Forget French. |
| BIANCA | (continuing) How is our little Find the Wench A Date plan progressing? |
| CAMERON | Well, there's someone I think might be |
| BIANCA | Show me |
| BIANCA | Give me a sign when he walks by. And don't point. |
| CAMERON | There. |
| BIANCA | Where? |
| CAMERON | I guess he didn't see me (calling after Patrick) Some other time -- |
| BIANCA | My God, he's repulsive. He's so perfect! |
| PATRICK | (shrugging them off) What? |
| PATRICK | Yeah |
| JOEY | What do you think? |
| PATRICK | Two legs, nice rack... |
| JOEY | Yeah, whatever. I want you to go out with her. |
| PATRICK | Sure, Sparky. I'll get right on it. |
| JOEY | You just said |
| PATRICK | You need money to take a girl out |
| JOEY | But you'd go out with her if you had the cake? |
| PATRICK | (sarcastic) Yeah, I'd take her to Europe if I had the plane. |
| JOEY | You got it, Verona. I pick up the tab, you do the honors. |
| PATRICK | You're gonna pay me to take out some girl? |
| JOEY | I can't date her sister until that one gets a boyfriend. And that's the catch. She doesn't want a boyfriend. |
| PATRICK | How much? |
| PATRICK | I can't take a girl like that out on twenty bucks. |
| JOEY | Fine, thirty. |
| JOEY | (continuing) Take it or leave it. This isn't a negotiation. |
| PATRICK | Fifty, and you've got your man. |
| MR. CHAPIN | (proudly) Good run, Stratford. |
| PATRICK | Hey. Girlie. |
| PATRICK | (continuing) I mean Wo-man. How ya doin'? |
| KAT | (smiles brightly) Sweating like a pig, actually. And yourself? |
| PATRICK | There's a way to get a guy's attention. |
| KAT | My mission in life. |
| KAT | (continuing) Obviously, I've struck your fancy. So, you see, it worked. The world makes sense again. |
| PATRICK | Pick you up Friday, then |
| KAT | Oh, right. Friday. |
| PATRICK | The night I take you to places you've never been before. And back. |
| KAT | Like where? The 7-Eleven on Burnside? Do you even know my name, screwboy? |
| PATRICK | I know a lot more than that |
| KAT | Doubtful. Very doubtful. |
| PATRICK | (calling after her) You're no bargain either, sweetheart. |
| SCURVY | So I guess the Jeep won't be getting a new Blaupunkt. |
| MICHAEL | He took the bait. |
| BIANCA | Have you ever considered a new look?  Vintage fenders. |
| KAT | Are you following me? |
| PATRICK | I was in the laundromat. I saw your car. Thought I'd say hi. |
| KAT | Hi |
| PATRICK | You're not a big talker, are you? |
| KAT | Depends on the topic.  You punishing me? |
| KAT | I thought you were punishing me. |
| WALTER | Why can't we agree on this? |
| KAT | Because you're making decisions for me. |
| WALTER | As a parent, that's my right |
| KAT | So what I want doesn't matter? |
| WALTER | You're eighteen. You don't know what you want. You won't know until you're forty-five and you don't have it. |
| KAT | (emphatic) I want to go to an East Coast school! I want you to trust me to make my own choices. I want -- |
| WALTER | Christ! I want a night to go by that I'm not staring a contraction in the face. |
| JOEY | When I shell out fifty, I expect results. |
| PATRICK | I'm on it |
| JOEY | Watching the bitch trash my car doesn't count as a date. |
| PATRICK | I got her under control. She just acts crazed in public to keep up the image. |
| JOEY | Let me put it to you this way, if you don't get any action, I don't get any action.  TUTORING ROOM - DAY | Cameron runs a sentence past Bianca. |
| CAMERON | La copine et I 'ami? La diferance? |
| BIANCA | A "copine" is someone you can count on. An "ami" is someone who makes promises he can't keep. |
| CAMERON | You got something on your mind? |
| BIANCA | I counted on you to help my cause. You and that thug are obviously failing. Aren't we ever going on our date? |
| CAMERON | You have my word. As a gentleman |
| BIANCA | You're sweet. |
| CAMERON | (appreciative) How do you get your hair to look like that? |
| BIANCA | Eber's Deep Conditioner every two days. And I never, ever use a blowdryer without the diffuser attachment. |
| CAMERON | You know, I read an article about that. |
| BIANCA | You did? |
| PATRICK | (without turning around) Say it |
| MICHAEL | (clearing his throat) What? |
| PATRICK | Whatever the hell it is you're standin' there waitin' to say. |
| CAMERON | We wanted to talk to you about the plan. |
| PATRICK | What plan? |
| MICHAEL | The situation is, my man Cameron here has a major jones for Bianca Stratford. |
| PATRICK | What is it with this chick? She have three tits? |
| MICHAEL | I think I speak correctly when I say that Cameron's love is pure. Purer than say -- Joey Dorsey's. |
| PATRICK | Dorsey can plow whoever he wants. I'm just in this for the cash. |
| MICHAEL | That's where we can help you. With Kat. |
| PATRICK | So Dorsey can get the girl? |
| MICHAEL | Patrick, Pat, you're not looking at the big picture. Joey's just a pawn. We set this whole thing up so Cameron can get the girl. |
| PATRICK | You two are gonna help me tame the wild beast? |
| MICHAEL | (grinning) We're your guys. |
| CAMERON | And he means that strictly in a non- prison-movie type of way. |
| PATRICK | Yeah -- we'll see. |
| MICHAEL | We're in. |
| CAMERON | This is it. A golden opportunity. Patrick can ask Katarina to the party. |
| MICHAEL | In that case, we'll need to make it a school-wide blow out. |
| CAMERON | Will Bogey get bent? |
| MICHAEL | Are you kidding?  He's the ultimate kiss ass. |
| JOEY | Which do you like better? |
| BIANCA | I think I like the white shirt |
| JOEY | It's more |
| BIANCA | Expensive? |
| JOEY | Exactly (beat) So, you going to Bogey Lowenbrau's thing on Saturday? |
| BIANCA | Hopefully. |
| JOEY | Good, 'cause I'm not gonna bother if you won't be there. |
| INT. TUTORING ROOM | Bianca sits across from Cameron, who's transfixed, as always |
| BIANCA | Have you heard about Bogey Lowenstein's party? |
| CAMERON | Sure have. |
| BIANCA | (pouting) I really, really, really wanna go, but I can't. Not unless my sister goes. |
| CAMERON | I'm workin' on it. But she doesn't seem to be goin' for him. |
| CAMERON | (continuing) She's not a... |
| BIANCA | Lesbian? No. I found a picture of Jared Leto in one of her drawers, so I'm pretty sure she's not harboring same-sex tendencies. |
| CAMERON | So that's the kind of guy she likes? Pretty ones? |
| BIANCA | Who knows? All I've ever heard her say is that she'd dip before dating a guy that smokes. |
| CAMERON | All right. What else is she partial to? |
| INT. DIVE BAR - NIGHT | Patrick plays pool with some random deviant cronies. |
| PATRICK | Lou, it's okay. They're with me. |
| PATRICK | (continuing) What've you got for me? |
| CAMERON | I've retrieved certain pieces of information on Miss Katarina Stratford I think you'll find helpful. |
| MICHAEL | (to Patrick) |
| PATRICK | What?! |
| MICHAEL | Good enough. |
| CAMERON | Number one. She hates smokers |
| MICHAEL | It's a lung cancer issue |
| CAMERON | Her favorite uncle |
| MICHAEL | Dead at forty-one. |
| PATRICK | Are you telling me I'm a - (spits the word out) "non-smoker"? |
| MICHAEL | Just for now. |
| CAMERON | Another thing. Bianca said that Kat likes -- pretty guys. |
| PATRICK | What? You don't think I'm pretty? |
| MICHAEL | He's pretty! |
| CAMERON | Okay! I wasn't sure |
| CAMERON | (continuing) Okay -- Likes: Thai food, feminist prose, and "angry, stinky girl music of the indie-rock persuasion". |
| PATRICK | So what does that give me? I'm supposed to buy her some noodles and a book and sit around listening to chicks who can't play their instruments? |
| MICHAEL | Ever been to Club Skunk? |
| PATRICK | Yeah. |
| CAMERON | Gigglepuss is playing there tomorrow night. |
| PATRICK | Don't make me do it, man |
| MICHAEL | Assail your ears for one night. |
| CAMERON | It's her favorite band. |
| MICHAEL | I also retrieved a list of her most recent CD purchases, courtesy of American Express. |
| PATRICK | (smiling) Michael -- did you get this information "illegally"? |
| MICHAEL | I prefer to think of it simply as an alternative to what the law allows. |
| PATRICK | I'm likin' you guys better |
| PATRICK | (continuing) This is really music? |
| BIANCA | Can you turn down the Screaming Menstrual Bitches? I'm trying to study. |
| BIANCA | (continuing) Don't tell me you're actually going out? On a school night, no less. |
| BIANCA | (continuing; excited) Oh my God, does this mean you're becoming normal? |
| KAT | It means that Gigglepuss is playing at Club Skunk and we're going. |
| BIANCA | (disappointed) Oh, I thought you might have a date (beat) I don't know why I'm bothering to ask, but are you going to Bogey Lowenstein's party Saturday night? |
| KAT | What do you think? |
| BIANCA | I think you're a freak. I think you do this to torture me. And I think you suck. |
| KAT | Let's hit it. |
| MANDELLA | (whispering to Kat) You think this'll work? |
| KAT | No fear. |
| KAT | (continuing) Hello! We'd like two for Gigglepuss! |
| BRUCE | I can count. |
| MANDELLA | I'll bet you can.. |
| BRUCE | Go ahead. (to Mandella) And you |
| MANDELLA | (all come hither) Yes? |
| BRUCE | Take it easy on the guys in there. |
| BRUCE | Next time, leave the Bic at home, Skippy. |
| SKIPPY | It's a bottle opener. |
| BRUCE | Verona, my man. |
| PATRICK | Always a pleasure, Brucie. |
| BRUCE | Didn't have you pegged for a Gigglepuss fan. Aren't they a little too pre-teen belly-button ring for you? |
| PATRICK | Fan of a fan. You see a couple of minors come in? |
| BRUCE | Never |
| PATRICK | Padua girls. One tall, decent body. The other one kinda short and undersexed? |
| BRUCE | Just sent 'em through. |
| BRUCE | (continuing) Hey -- what happened to that chick you brought last time? The one with the snake? |
| LEAD SINGER | Hello, out there. We're Gigglepuss and we're from Olympia. |
| BOY (0.S.) | Pet my kitty! |
| LEAD SINGER | Meow |
| KAT | (shouting) I need agua! |
| KAT | (continuing to herself) Shit |
| BARTENDER | (shouting) What can I get you? |
| KAT | Two waters. |
| KAT | (continuing) You're not fooling anyone. |
| PATRICK | (yelling) hey. Great show, huh? |
| KAT | (yelling) |
| PATRICK | (yelling) Excuse me? |
| KAT | (yelling) That's what you want, isn't it? |
| PATRICK | (yelling; gesturing toward the band) Do you mind? You're sort of ruining it for me. |
| KAT | (yelling) You're not surrounded by your usual cloud of smoke. |
| PATRICK | I know. I quit. |
| KAT | Oh, really? |
| PATRICK | You know, these guys are no Bikini Kill or The Raincoats, but they're right up there. |
| KAT | You know who The Raincoats are? |
| PATRICK | Why, don't you? |
| PATRICK | (continuing) I watched you out there I've never seen you look like that |
| PATRICK | (continuing) Come to that party with me. |
| KAT | (yelling) What? |
| BARTENDER | (to Kat, yelling) You forgot to pay! |
| PATRICK | (yelling) I got it, Rick. |
| PATRICK | (continuing; yelling) Nine-thirty then. |
| MANDELLA | What'd he say? |
| KAT | Who cares? |
| MANDELLA | Has he importun'd you with love in honourable fashion? |
| MANDELLA | (continuing; off her look) Don't be Cruella with me. I'm in favor of romance. You're the one that wants to march on Washington every five minutes. |
| KAT | Gigglepuss was so beyond. |
| MANDELLA | They were. I only wish William could have been here to witness the rebirth of punk rock with us. |
| KAT | So true. |
| INT. HALLWAY - DAY | Cameron and Michael are at Michael's locker. |
| CAMERON | So, then she says that she almost didn't wear the Kenneth Coles with that dress because she thought she was mixing, you know, genres. And the fact that I noticed -- and I'm quoting here - "really meant something." |
| MICHAEL | You told me that part already. |
| CAMERON | Hell, I've just been going over the whole thing in my head and - |
| JOEY | Hey. Dingo Boingo |
| JOEY | (continuing; to Michael) I hear you're helpin' Verona. |
| MICHAEL | Uh, yeah. We're old friend* |
| JOEY | You and Verona? |
| MICHAEL | What?  I'm heavily invested. |
| MICHAEL | Hey -- it's all for the higher good right? |
| CAMERON | Is it about me? |
| MISS PERKY | You're completely demented. |
| PATRICK | (cheery) See you next week! |
| MISS PERKY | You two know each other? |
| PATRICK/KAT | Yeah/No. |
| MISS PERKY | (to Patrick) Dear God, stay away from her. If you two ever decided to breed, evil would truly walk the earth. |
| BIANCA | She's obviously not going. |
| BIANCA | Daddy, I -- |
| WALTER | And where're you going? |
| BIANCA | If you must know, we were attempting to go to a small study group of friends. |
| WALTER | Otherwise known as an orgy? |
| BIANCA | It's just a party. Daddy, but I knew you'd forbid me to go since "Gloria Steinem" over there isn't going -- |
| WALTER | Do you know about any party? Katarina? |
| BIANCA | Daddy, people expect me to be there! |
| WALTER | If Kat's not going, you're not going. |
| BIANCA | You're ruining my life' Because you won't be normal, I can't be normal. |
| KAT | What's normal? |
| BIANCA | Bogey Lowenstein's party is normal, but you're too busy listening to Bitches Who Need Prozac to know that. |
| WALTER | What's a Bogey Lowenstein? |
| BIANCA | Can't you forget for just one night that you're completely wretched? |
| KAT | At least I'm not a clouted fen- sucked hedge-pig. |
| BIANCA | Like I'm supposed to know what that even means. |
| KAT | It's Shakespeare. Maybe you've heard of him? |
| BIANCA | Yeah, he's your freak friend Mandella's boyfriend. I guess since I'm not allowed to go out, I should obsess over a dead guy, too. |
| WALTER | Girls |
| KAT | I know about the goddamn party. I'm going. |
| WALTER | Oh, God. It's starting. |
| BIANCA | It's just a party. Daddy. |
| WALTER | Wear the belly before you go. |
| BIANCA | Daddy, no! |
| WALTER | Just for a minute |
| WALTER | (continuing) I want you to realize the weight of your decisions. |
| BIANCA | You are so completely unbalanced. |
| KAT | Can we go now? Scanned by http://freemoviescripts.com Formatting by http://simplyscripts.home.att.net |
| WALTER | (to Bianca) Promise me you won't talk to any boys unless your sister is present. |
| BIANCA | Why? |
| WALTER | Because she'll scare them away. |
| PATRICK | Nine-thirty right? |
| PATRICK | (continuing) I'm early. |
| KAT | I'm driving. |
| PATRICK | Who knocked up your sister? |
| BOGEY | Nice to see you. Martini bar to the right, shots in the kitchen. |
| JOEY | Lookin' fresh tonight, Pussy-Kat |
| KAT | Wait -- was that?-- Did your hairline just recede? |
| JOEY | Where ya goin? |
| KAT | Away. |
| JOEY | Your sister here? |
| KAT | Leave my sister alone. |
| JOEY | (smirking) And why would I do that? |
| JOCK | A fight! |
| COFFEE KID #1 | That was a New Guinea Peaberry, you Folger's-crystals-slurping-buttwipe. |
| JOEY | Just who I was looking for. |
| GUY | Drink up, sister. |
| PATRICK | What's this? |
| KAT | (mocking) "I'm getting trashed, man." Isn't that what you're supposed to do at a party? |
| PATRICK | I say, do what you wanna do. |
| KAT | Funny, you're the only one |
| MICHAEL | (high-fiving a jock) Moose, my man! (to Cameron) Ranked fifth in the state. Recruiters have already started calling. |
| MICHAEL | (continuing; grabbing his belt) Yo, Clem. (to Cameron) A Patsy Cline fan, but hates the new Leanne Rimes. (with a Jamaican swagger) Ziggy, peace, bra. (to Cameron) Prefers a water pipe, but has been known to use a bong. |
| MICHAEL | (continuing) Follow the love, man |
| BIANCA | Where did he go? He was just here. |
| CHASTITY | Who? |
| BIANCA | Joey. |
| CAMERON | Evening, ladies. |
| BIANCA | Hi. |
| CAMERON | Looks like things worked out tonight, huh? |
| BIANCA | You know Chastity? |
| CAMERON | I believe we share an art instructor |
| CHASTITY | Great |
| BIANCA | Would you mind getting me a drink, Cameron? |
| CAMERON | Certainly Pabst? Old Milwaukee? RaiJieer? |
| BIANCA | Surprise me. |
| MICHAEL | Extremely unfortunate maneuver. |
| CAMERON | The hell is that? What kind of 'guy just picks up a girl and carries her away while you're talking to her? |
| MICHAEL | Buttholus extremus. But hey, you're making progress. |
| CAMERON | No, I ' m not. |
| CAMERON | (continuing) She used me! She wants to go out with Dorsey. Not me. I'm an idiot! |
| MICHAEL | At least you're self-aware |
| JOEY | So yeah, I've got the Sears catalog thing going -- and the tube sock gig " that's gonna be huge. And then I'm up for an ad for Queen Harry next week. |
| BIANCA | Queen Harry? |
| JOEY | It's a gay cruise line, but I'll be, like, wearing a uniform and stuff. |
| BIANCA | Neat... |
| JOEY | My agent says I've got a good shot at being the Prada guy next year. |
| BIANCA | I'll be right back. |
| BIANCA | He practically proposed when he found out we had the same dermatologist. I mean. Dr. Bonchowski is great an all, but he's not exactly relevant party conversation. |
| CHASTITY | Is he oily or dry? |
| BIANCA | Combination. I don't know -- I thought he'd be different. More of a gentleman... |
| CHASTITY | Bianca, I don't think the highlights of dating Joey Dorsey are going to include door-opening and coat-holding. |
| BIANCA | Sometimes I wonder if the guys we're supposed to want to go out with are the ones we actually want to go out with, you know? |
| CHASTITY | All I know is -- I'd give up my private line to go out with a guy like Joey. |
| KAT | Bianca, I need to talk to you -- I need to tell you -- |
| BIANCA | (cutting her off) I really don't think I need any social advice from you right now. |
| KAT | I want another one |
| JOEY | My man |
| PATRICK | (annoyed) It's about time. |
| JOEY | A deal's a deal. |
| JOEY | (continuing) How'd you do it? |
| PATRICK | Do what? |
| JOEY | Get her to act like a human |
| PATRICK | Okay? |
| KAT | I'm fine. I'm |
| PATRICK | You're not okay. |
| KAT | I just need to lie down for awhile |
| PATRICK | Uh, uh. You lie down and you'll go to sleep |
| KAT | I know, just let me sleep |
| PATRICK | What if you have a concussion? My dog went to sleep with a concussion and woke up a vegetable. Not that I could tell the difference... |
| KAT | Okay, I'll just sleep but stay awake, okay? |
| PATRICK | C'mon, let's walk |
| PATRICK | Cameron, I'm a little busy |
| CAMERON | It's off. The whole thing. |
| PATRICK | What 're you talking about? |
| CAMERON | She's partial to Joey, not me |
| PATRICK | Cameron -- do you like the girl? |
| CAMERON | Sure |
| PATRICK | (impatient) Then, go get her |
| KAT | This is so patronizing. |
| PATRICK | Leave it to you to use big words when you're shitfaced. |
| KAT | Why 're you doing this? |
| PATRICK | I told you |
| KAT | You don't care if I die |
| PATRICK | Sure, I do |
| KAT | Why? |
| PATRICK | Because then I'd have to start taking out girls who like me. |
| KAT | Like you could find one |
| PATRICK | See that? Who needs affection when I've got blind hatred? |
| KAT | Just let me sit down. |
| PATRICK | How's that? |
| PATRICK | (continuing) Jesus. You're like a weeble |
| PATRICK | (continuing) Why'd you let him get to you? |
| KAT | Who? |
| PATRICK | Dorsey. |
| KAT | I hate him. |
| PATRICK | I know. It'd have to be a pretty big deal to get you to mainline tequila. You don't seem like the type. |
| KAT | (holding up a drunken head) Hey man. . . You don ' t think I can be "cool"? You don't think I can be "laid back" like everyone else? |
| PATRICK | (slightly sarcastic) I thought you were above all that |
| KAT | You know what they say |
| PATRICK | No. What do they say? |
| PATRICK | (continuing) Shit! |
| PATRICK | (continuing) Jingle Bells! Jingle Belles! Wake up damn it! |
| PATRICK | (continuing) Kat! Wake up! |
| KAT | (waking) What? |
| PATRICK | I thought you were... |
| KAT | Go away |
| BIANCA | Dinner taste better on the way out? |
| BIANCA | (continuing) I don't get you.  Wanna come? |
| BIANCA | I have to be home in twenty minutes. |
| CHASTITY | (eagerly, to Joey) I don't have to be home 'til two. |
| JOEY | Then, c'mon. (to Bianca) Maybe next time -- |
| CAMERON | (slightly accusatory) Have fun tonight? |
| BIANCA | Tons |
| BIANCA | (continuing) Cameron? |
| BIANCA | (continuing) Do you think you could give me a ride home? |
| PATRICK | I'm driving, so I get to pick the tunes. |
| KAT | It's my car. |
| PATRICK | And I'm in control of it. |
| KAT | But it's Gigglepuss - I know you like them. I saw you there. |
| KAT | (continuing) When you were gone last year -- where were you? |
| PATRICK | Busy |
| KAT | Were you in jail? |
| PATRICK | Maybe. |
| KAT | No, you weren't |
| PATRICK | Then why'd you ask? |
| KAT | Why'd you lie? |
| KAT | (continuing) I should do this. |
| PATRICK | Do what? |
| KAT | This. |
| PATRICK | Start a band? |
| KAT | (sarcastically) My father wouldn't approve of that that |
| PATRICK | You don't strike me as the type that would ask permission. |
| KAT | Oh, so now you think you know me? |
| PATRICK | I'm gettin' there |
| KAT | The only thing people know about me is that I'm "scary". |
| PATRICK | (continuing) So what ' s up with your dad? He a pain in the ass? |
| KAT | He just wants me to be someone I'm not. |
| PATRICK | Who? |
| PATRICK | No offense, but you're sister is without. I know everyone likes her and all, but ... |
| KAT | You know -- you're not as vile as I thought you were. |
| PATRICK | So, I'll see you in school |
| CAMERON | I looked for you back at the party, but you always seemed to be "occupied". |
| BIANCA | (faux-innocence ) I was? |
| CAMERON | You never wanted to go out with 'me, did you? |
| BIANCA | (reluctant) Well, no... |
| CAMERON | Then that's all you had to say. |
| BIANCA | But |
| CAMERON | You always been this selfish? |
| CAMERON | Just because you're beautiful, doesn't mean you can treat people like they don't matter. |
| CAMERON | (continuing) And I'm back in the saddle. |
| DEREK | Kat, my lady, you sway to the rhythm of my heart. |
| CLEM | Yippe kai-aye, bra. (to Kat) Dance for me, cowgirl. |
| CLEM | (continuing) Okay, now tell me again why he didn't shoot the deputy? |
| DEREK | Because the deputy meant him no harm, my friend. It was only the sheriff that was the oppressor. |
| JOEY | Kat, babe, you were on fire. |
| MRS. BLAISE | Well now, did everyone have a good weekend? |
| JOEY | Maybe we should ask Verona |
| MRS. BLAISE | Okay then. Well. (beat) Oh, yes |
| MRS. BLAISE | (continuing) I'd like you all to write your own version of Shakespeare's Sonnet #141. |
| MRS. BLAISE | (continuing) Any form you'd like. Rhyme, no rhyme, whatever. I'd like to see you elaborate on his theme, however. Let's read it aloud, shall we? Anyone? |
| MRS. BLAISE | (continuing) Derek? |
| DEREK | (reading; in his Rasta stoner drawl) In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes/ For they in thee a thousand errors note/ But 'tis my heart that loves what they despise/ Who in despite of view is pleas 'd to dote. |
| CLEM | Ms. Blaise, can I get the bathroom pass?  KENNY'S THAI FOOD DINER - DAY | Kat and Mandella scrape the peanuts out of their sauce. |
| MANDELLA | You went to the party? I thought we were officially opposed to suburban social activity. |
| KAT | I didn't have a choice. |
| MANDELLA | You didn't have a choice? Where's Kat and what have you done with her? |
| KAT | I did Bianca a favor and it backfired. |
| MANDELLA | You didn't |
| KAT | I got drunk. I puked. I got rejected. It was big fun. |
| PATRICK | Hey |
| MICHAEL | So you got cozy with she who stings? |
| PATRICK | No - I've got a sweet-payin' job that I'm about to lose. |
| CAMERON | What'd you do to her? |
| PATRICK | I don ' t know. (beat) I decided not to nail her when she was too drunk to remember it. |
| MICHAEL | I'm on it |
| MICHAEL | Hey there. Tired of breathing? |
| MANDELLA | (shyly, as she loosens the scarf) Hi. |
| MICHAEL | Cool pictures. You a fan? |
| MANDELLA | Yeah. I guess. |
| MANDELLA | You think? |
| MICHAEL | Oh yeah. |
| MANDELLA | Who could refrain that had a heart to love and in that heart, courage to make ' B love known? |
| MICHAEL | Macbeth, right? |
| MANDELLA | (happily stunned) Right. |
| MICHAEL | Kat a fan, too? |
| MANDELLA | (puzzled) Yeah... |
| MICHAEL | So, listen... I have this friend |
| CAMERON | She hates you with the fire of a thousand suns . That's a direct quote |
| PATRICK | She just needs time to cool off I'll give it a day. |
| PATRICK | (continuing) Maybe two. |
| PATRICK | (continuing) You makin' any headway? |
| CAMERON | She kissed me. |
| PATRICK | (eyebrow raised) Where? |
| JOEY | Don't talk to me about the sweetest date.  Six virgins in a row. |
| PATRICK | I don't know, Dorsey. ..the limo.-the flowers.  I know. |
| JOEY | (continuing) Take it |
| KAT | Can you even imagine? Who the hell would go to this a bastion of commercial excess? |
| MANDELLA | Well, I guess we're not, since we don't have dates . |
| KAT | Listen to you! You sound like Betty, all pissed off because Archie is taking Veronica. |
| MANDELLA | Okay, okay, we won't go. It's not like I have a dress anyway |
| KAT | You ' re looking at this from the wrong perspective. We're making a statement. |
| MANDELLA | (unconvinced) Oh, good. Something new and different for us. |
| JOEY | Hey, sweet cheeks. |
| BIANCA | (not looking at him) Hi, Joey. |
| JOEY | You're concentrating awfully hard considering it's gym class. |
| JOEY | (continuing) Listen, I want to talk to you about the prom. |
| BIANCA | You know the deal. I can ' t go if Kat doesn't go -- |
| JOEY | Your sister is going. |
| BIANCA | Since when? |
| JOEY | I'm taking care of it. |
| PATRICK | Excuse me, have you seen The Feminine Mystique? I lost my copy. |
| KAT | (frowning) What are you doing here? |
| PATRICK | I heard there was a poetry reading. |
| KAT | You 're so -- |
| PATRICK | Pleasant? |
| PATRICK | (continuing) Wholesome. |
| KAT | Unwelcome. |
| PATRICK | Unwelcome? I guess someone still has her panties in a twist. |
| KAT | Don't for one minute think that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties. |
| PATRICK | So what did I have an effect on ? |
| KAT | Other than my upchuck reflex? Nothing. |
| PATRICK | You were right.  People can hear you. |
| CAMERON | (exasperated) You humiliated the woman! Sacrifice yourself on the altar of dignity and even the score. |
| MICHAEL | Best case scenario, you're back on the payroll for awhile. |
| PATRICK | What's the worst? |
| CAMERON | You get the girl. |
| PATRICK | If I go down. I'm takin' her with me |
| (0. S.) | "This morning, I woke up with this feeling, I didn't know how to deal with, and so I just decided to myself--" |
| PATRICK | "I'd hide it to myself. And never talk about it. And didn't I go and shout it when you walked into the room --" |
| PATRICK | (continuing) " I think I love you I " |
| MISCREANT | Nice song, Verona. |
| PATRICK | Flog me. |
| KAT (0. S.) | Excuse me, Mr. Chapin? |
| KAT | Sir, I'd like to state for the record that Mr. Verona ' s current incarceration is unnecessary. I never filed a complaint. |
| MR. CHAPIN | You didn't have to. He disrupted a classroom. |
| KAT | But, Mr. Chapin, I hardly think a simple serenade warrants a week of detention. There are far more hideous acts than off-key singing being performed by the student body on a regular basis. |
| MR.  Rules stick. |
| KAT | Wait, Mr. Chapin. There's something I've always wanted to show you. |
| MR. CHAPIN | What? |
| KAT | These. |
| MR. CHAPIN | I'm going to let that slide, Katarina. But if I catch you doing that again, you'll be in here with the rest of these guys. |
| KAT | Thank you, Mr. Chapin. |
| KAT | He left!  S.) | Look up, sunshine |
| PATRICK | I guess I never told you I'm afraid of heights. |
| KAT | (smiling) C'mon. It's not that bad |
| PATRICK | Try lookin' at it from this angle |
| KAT | Put your right foot there -- |
| PATRICK | Forget it. I'm stayin'. |
| KAT | You want me to climb up and show you how to get down? |
| PATRICK | (voice trembling) Maybe. |
| KAT | You shit! |
| KAT | The Partridge Family? |
| PATRICK | I figured it had to be something ridiculous to win your respect. And piss you off. |
| KAT | Good call. |
| PATRICK | So how'd you get Chapin to look the other way? |
| KAT | I dazzled him with my wit |
| PATRICK | (sarcastic) A soft side? Who knew? |
| KAT | Yeah, well, don't let it get out |
| PATRICK | So what's your excuse? |
| KAT | Acting the way we do. |
| PATRICK | Yes |
| KAT | I don't like to do what people expect. Then they expect it all the time and they get disappointed when you change. |
| PATRICK | So if you disappoint them from the start, you're covered? |
| KAT | Something like that |
| PATRICK | Then you screwed up |
| KAT | How? |
| PATRICK | You never disappointed me. |
| PATRICK | (continuing) You up for it? |
| KAT | For. . . ? |
| KAT | (continuing) Damn it! |
| KID | Look, Mom |
| KAT | State trooper? |
| PATRICK | Fallacy. |
| KAT | The duck? |
| PATRICK | Hearsay. |
| KAT | I know the porn career's a lie. |
| PATRICK | Do you? |
| KAT | Tell me something true. |
| PATRICK | I hate peas. |
| KAT | No -- something real. Something no one else knows. |
| PATRICK | (in-between kisses) You're sweet. And sexy. And completely hot for me. |
| KAT | What? |
| PATRICK | No one else knows |
| KAT | You're amazingly self-assured. Has anyone ever told you that? |
| PATRICK | Go to the prom with me |
| KAT | Is that a request or a command? |
| PATRICK | You know what I mean |
| KAT | No. |
| PATRICK | No what? |
| KAT | No, I won't go with you |
| PATRICK | Why not? |
| KAT | Because I don't want to.  Start a new rumor? What? |
| PATRICK | So I have to have a motive to be with you? |
| KAT | You tell me. |
| PATRICK | You need therapy. Has anyone ever told you that? |
| KAT | (quietly) Answer the question, Patrick |
| PATRICK | (angry) Nothing! There's nothing in it for me. Just the pleasure of your company. |
| PATRICK | cover that up |
| BIANCA | Quick question -- are you going to the prom? |
| BIANCA | Then Guillermo says, "If you go any lighter, you're gonna look like an extra on 90210." |
| CAMERON | No... |
| BIANCA | do you listen to this crap? |
| CAMERON | What crap? |
| BIANCA | Me. This endless ...blonde babble. I'm like, boring myself. |
| CAMERON | Thank God! If I had to hear one more story about your coiffure... |
| CAMERON | (continuing) I figured you'd get to the good stuff eventually. |
| BIANCA | What good stuff? |
| CAMERON | The "real you". |
| BIANCA | Like my fear of wearing pastels? |
| BIANCA | (continuing) I'm kidding. (beat) You know how sometimes you just become this "persona"? And you don't know how to quit? |
| CAMERON | (matter of fact) No |
| BIANCA | Okay -- you're gonna need to learn how to lie. |
| TREVOR | You're gonna look splendiferous in that, Mandella. |
| TREVOR | (continuing) that's cool to say. |
| SHARON | Would you rather be ravished by a pirate or a British rear admiral? |
| WALTER | Pirate -- no question. |
| BIANCA | Daddy, I want to discuss the prom with you. It's tomorrow night -- |
| WALTER | The prom? Kat has a date? |
| BIANCA | No, but |
| WALTER | It's that hot rod Joey, right? That ' s who you want me to bend my rules for? |
| BIANCA | He's not a "hot rod". Whatever that is. |
| WALTER | You're not going unless your sister goes. End of story. |
| BIANCA | Fine. I see that I'm a prisoner in my own house. I'm not a daughter. I'm a possession! |
| WALTER | (calling out) You know what happens at proms? |
| SHARON | They'll dance, they'll kiss, they'll come home. Let her go. |
| WALTER | Kissing? Is that what you think happens? Kissing isn't what keeps me up to my elbows in placenta all day. |
| BIANCA | Come in. |
| KAT | (kindly) Listen, I know you hate having to sit home because I'm not Susie High School. |
| BIANCA | Like you care. |
| KAT | I do care. But I'm a firm believer in doing something for your own reasons, not someone else ' s . |
| BIANCA | I wish I had that luxury. I'm the only sophomore that got asked to the prom and I can't go, because you won ' t. |
| KAT | Joey never told you we went out, did he? |
| BIANCA | What? |
| KAT | In 9th. For a month |
| BIANCA | (confused) Why? |
| KAT | (self-mocking) He was, like, a total babe |
| BIANCA | But you hate Joey |
| KAT | Now I do. Back then, was a different story. |
| BIANCA | As in... |
| KAT | He said everyone was doing it. So I did it. |
| BIANCA | You did what? |
| KAT | (continuing on) Just once. Afterwards, I told him I didn't want to anymore. I wasn't ready. He got pissed. Then he broke up with me. |
| BIANCA | But |
| KAT | After that, I swore I'd never do anything just because "everyone else" was doing it. And I haven't since. Except for Bogey's party, and my stunning gastro-intestinal display -- |
| BIANCA | (stunned) Why didn't you tell me? |
| KAT | I wanted to let you make up your own mind about him. |
| BIANCA | No. you didn't!  Just keep me locked away in the dark, so I can't experience anything for myself |
| KAT | Not all experiences are good, Bianca. You can't always trust the people you want to. |
| BIANCA | I guess I'll never know, will I? |
| BIANCA | Come in. |
| KAT | Feel like shopping? |
| WALTER | What do you wanna watch?  My date should be here in five. |
| WALTER | I'm missing something. |
| BIANCA | I have a date, Daddy. And he ' s not a captain of oppression like some men we know. |
| CAMERON | Wow |
| BIANCA | Let's go. |
| SHARON | (to Bianca) Have a great time, honey! |
| WALTER | But -- who -- what --? |
| KAT | Hey, guys. I'm going to the prom. See you in a few. |
| WALTER | What just happened? |
| SHARON | Your daughters went to the prom. |
| WALTER | Did I have anything to say about it? |
| SHARON | Absolutely not. |
| WALTER | That ' s what I thought |
| JOEY | I'm here to pick up Bianca. |
| WALTER | late |
| KAT | How'd you get a tux at the last minute? |
| PATRICK | It's Scurvy's. His date got convicted. Where'd you get the dress? |
| KAT | It's just something I had. You know |
| PATRICK | (smiling) Oh huh |
| KAT | Look, I'm -- sorry -- that I questioned your motives. I was wrong. |
| PATRICK | No prob. |
| KAT | are you ready? |
| KAT | (continuing) C'mon. Let's get this over with. |
| KAT | Quite the ostentatious display |
| PATRICK | Look, Clem even wore his good boots |
| MANDELLA | Have you seen him? |
| KAT | Who? |
| MANDELLA | William - he asked me to meet him here. |
| KAT | Oh, honey -- tell me we haven't' progressed to full-on hallucinations. |
| MICHAEL | Mi' lady. |
| BIANCA | (surprised) What are you doing here? |
| CHASTITY | You think you ' re the only sophomore at the prom? |
| BIANCA | I did. |
| CHASTITY | And just so you know, my date isn't planning on spending most of the night in his backseat. |
| CHASTITY | Joey Dorsey is only after one thing - - your cherry. He practically made a public announcement. |
| CHASTITY | (continuing) I wanted to tell you |
| PATRICK | My grandmother's . |
| KAT | What? |
| PATRICK | That's where I was last year. She'd never lived alone -- my grandfather died -- I stayed with her. I wasn't in jail, I don't know Marilyn Manson, and I've never slept with a Spice Girl. I spent a year sitting next to my grandma on the couch watching Wheel of Fortune. End of story. |
| KAT | That ' s completely adorable! |
| PATRICK | It gets worse -- you still have your freshman yearbook? |
| JOEY | What's Bianca doing here with that cheese dick?  C'mon |
| MICHAEL | (continuing) Joey, pal, compadre. Let's take it easy. |
| CAMERON | Admit it. You lost. Be a man. |
| DEREK | Very uncool, my brother |
| JOEY | I'm not your brother, white boy. |
| JOEY | (continuing) Just so you know -- she'll only spread her legs once. |
| BIANCA | That's for making my date bleed |
| BIANCA | (continuing) That's for my sister. |
| BIANCA | (continuing) And that's for me. |
| COWBOY | And that's for the fourth grade, asshole. |
| PATRICK | Wait I... |
| KAT | You were paid to take me out! By -- the one person I truly hate. I knew it was a set-up! |
| PATRICK | It wasn't like that. |
| KAT | Really? What was it like? A down payment now, then a bonus for sleeping with me? |
| PATRICK | I didn't care about the money. |
| PATRICK | (continuing) I cared about -- |
| KAT | You are so not what I thought you were. |
| BIANCA | Are you sure you don't want to come with us? It'll be fun. |
| KAT | I ' m sure . |
| BIANCA | You looked beautiful last night, you know. |
| KAT | So did you |
| CAMERON | She okay? |
| BIANCA | I hope so. |
| WALTER | Was that your sister? |
| KAT | Yeah. She left with some bikers Big ones. Full of sperm. |
| WALTER | Funny. |
| WALTER | (continuing) I don't understand the allure of dehydrated food. Is this something I should be hip to? |
| KAT | No, Daddy. |
| WALTER | (dreading the answer) So tell me about this dance. Was it fun? |
| KAT | Parts of it. |
| WALTER | Which parts? |
| KAT | The part where Bianca beat the hell out of some guy. |
| WALTER | Bianca did what? |
| KAT | What's the matter? Upset that I rubbed off on her? |
| WALTER | No -- impressed. |
| WALTER | (continuing) You know, fathers don't like to admit that their daughters are capable of running their own lives. It means we've become spectators. Bianca still lets me play a few innings. You've had me on the bleachers for years. When you go to Sarah Lawrence, I won't even be able to watch the game. |
| KAT | (hopeful) When I go? |
| WALTER | Oh, Christ.  I already sent 'em a check. |
| CAMERON (0. S.) | Katarina? |
| CAMERON | I'd like to express my apologies. |
| KAT | For what? |
| CAMERON | (looking down) I didn't mean for you to get -- When Bianca asked me to find you a boyfriend, I had no idea it would turn out so -- ugly. I would never have done anything to compromise your - - - |
| TEACHER | Who can tell me at what point Lucentio admits his deception? |
| KAT | (to the teacher) Family emergency. |
| BIANCA | Let go! |
| KAT | You set me up. |
| BIANCA | I just wanted -- |
| KAT | What? To completely damage me? To send me to therapy forever? What? |
| BIANCA | No! I just wanted |
| MISS PERKY | Ladies?  Okay?  I wanted her to get a boyfriend so I could. Apparently, this makes me a horrible person. I'm sorry. |
| BIANCA | (continuing) I swear -- I didn't know about the money. I didn't even know Joey was involved. I would never intentionally hurt you, Kat. |
| MISS PERKY | (to Kat) Do you care to respond? |
| KAT | Am I supposed to feel better? Like, right now? Or do I have some time to think about it? |
| MISS PERKY | Just smack her now. |
| BIANCA | (to Miss Perky) We'll be getting back to you. |
| MISS PERKY | What, no hug? |
| BIANCA | Is that woman a complete fruit-loop or is it just me? |
| KAT | It's just you. |
| MRS. BLAISE | All right. I'm assuming everyone found time to compose, their poems. Except for Mr. Dorsey, who's still in ICU. |
| MRS. BLAISE | (continuing) Would anyone care to read theirs aloud? |
| KAT | I'11 go |
| MRS. BLAISE | Oh, Lord. |
| MRS.  You bought this? |
| PATRICK | I thought you could use it. When you start your band. |
| PATRICK | (continuing) Besides, I had some extra cash.  I fell for her. |
| PATRICK | (continuing) You know -- it's not every day you find a girl who'll flash her tits to get you out of detention. |
| KAT | You can't just buy me a guitar every time you screw up, you know. |
| PATRICK | I know |
| KAT | And don't just think you can |
| KAT | Why is my veggie burger the only burnt object on this grill? |
| PATRICK | Because I like to torture you. |
| KAT | Oh, Bianca? Can you get me my freshman yearbook? |
| PATRICK | Don ' t you even dare. . . |
| CAMERON | They do to! |
| BIANCA | They do not! |
| CAMERON | Can someone please tell her that sunflower seeds come from sunflowers? |
| MANDELLA | I can't remember a word of Shakespeare right now. Isn't that weird? |
| KAT | You're freaked over this, aren't you? |
| BIANCA | He's more than freaked. He's froke |
| KAT | I'd like to call your attention to Patrick Verona's stunning bad-ass look of 1995 --- |
| BIANCA | Patrick -- is that- a. |
| KAT | Perm? |
| PATRICK | Ask my attorney. |


Hello there! I'm Mike, a full stack web developer who specializes in
PHP Laravel and Javascript Vue.js.
I'm not currently looking for work, but feel free to reach out to me for other things.
About Me
I enjoy the logical and scientific side of life. Math and science have rules and definitive answers to their questions, as opposed to interpretive answers found in art and literature. I find structure, reason, and organization necessary for my sanity, and have found solace in programming.
I've been programming as a hobby and career for over 20 years. I got hooked on BASIC back in ~2000 and things spiraled out of control from there. I experimented with many languages in college, but the immediate satisfaction that came from javascript UI control, and ease of publishing content to the world led me more toward web development. Flash/Actionscript was a wild ride (while it lasted) that taught me a lot of fundamentals through game development, but the logic and architecture of back end programming is what calls to me the most.
While PHP has plenty of inconsistencies and other issues, I love it (so long as I get to use v7+); and the Laravel Framework has only increased my love of the language. The same can be said for Javascript and the Vue.js Framework (v2). I find I achieve the most productivity when I couple a Laravel back end with a Vue.js front end. I've tested a few different database solutions, but the availability of MySQL keeps me coming back to it.
My current position heavily utilizes AWS services, so I'm certified with AWS Solutions Architect; and I've become very familiar with RDS, ECR, ECS, EC2, CloudWatch, Docker, and CI/CD via Github Actions.
While I'm not tinkering with code you can usually find me playing video games or saving the world in my latest Dungeons and Dragons game.


SITE MAP -- Introduction to Trusted Tester Methods Workshop
Course Introduction
Keyboard Access and Focus
Links and Buttons
Forms
Interactive Samples
- Keyboard Access and Focus example
- Keyboard Access, Trap, Focus example
- Keyboard Trap example (external site)
- Modal Dialog example (external site)
- Structure example
- Links and Buttons examples
- Links and Buttons examples 2
- Label examples
- Form 5.D example 1
- Form 5.D example 2
- Form 5.E example
- Form 5.F example
- Image examples