Part I Written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan & Scott Silveri
Part II Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen
Parts I and II Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is showing Ross, Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe his engagement ring again.]
Ross: God that is the most beautiful engagement ring ever!
Rachel: Yeah? Well, you should know. Youve bought like a billion of em.
Ross: Yeah, you didnt get one.
Chandler: Okay, well tonights the big night.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Joey: Okay listen, how are you gonna ask her?
Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. Im going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast Im just gonna propose.
Rachel: Ohh
Joey: That sounds perfect!
Chandler: Yeah.
Joey: Youre gonna mess it up let me do it.

Phoebe: If she says no, can I have the ring?
Chandler: Shes not gonna say no.
Phoebe: If!
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Hey!
(Monicas entrance makes Phoebe try to hide the ring by putting it in her mouth.)
Chandler: Hey!
Phoebe: (with her mouthful) Hi Monica.
(Monica goes into her room.)
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Give me it!
Phoebe: Its gone.
Chandler: Phoebe!
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
Joey: Hey!
Chandler: (with his mouthful) Hi Monica.
(She goes into the bathroom.)
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Were practically kissing. (Makes a kissy face and winks at him.)
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: Hey Rach!
Rachel: Are any of you guys free tonight? My boss is hosting this charity event for underprivileged kids and the more people I bring, the better I look. So, Monica? Chandler?
Chandler: (glaring at her) Well, Monica and Chandler cant go. Were going to dinner remember?!
Rachel: Oh my God, Im so sorry.
Monica: Whats the big deal?
Chandler: I just get mad when Rachel doesnt remember where were going.
Joey: Where are you going?
(Chandler stares at him.)
Rachel: How about you guys? (Points to Phoebe and Joey.)
Phoebe: Open bar?
Rachel: I think so.
Phoebe: I can do that for the kids.
Joey: Hey, yknow what? Ill come too. Im making money now; its about time I give something back.
Chandler: Well, you could also give back the money you owe me.
Joey: Okay. Have a benefit.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Hey! Ross, listen can you come to a charity event tonight?
Ross: Oh no, I have plans with Elizabeth.

Ross: Im sorry, its just one of my last nights together before she leaves for campto be a counselor!
Monica: Ross let me ask you a question. All jokes aside, where is this relationship going?
Chandler: Wait a minute, all jokes aside? I didnt agree to that!
Monica: Do you really see this as a long-term thing?
Ross: I dont know.
Phoebe: Yknow, you are 12 years older than her.
Ross: Wait a minute, does-does everyone feel this way?
All: Yeah! Yeah, sort of. Im sorry.
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think.
Joey: Thats not what she said last night. (Ross glares at him.)
Rachel: See? Now, he could date her.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is practicing proposing.]
Chandler: Will you marry me? Will you marry me?  Hey, you marry me! (He gives up as Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, and Ross slink in all excited.) Whats going on little elves?
Joey: Its the big night! We wanted to wish you good luck!
Ross: Yeah, yeah you have the ring?
Chandler: Yeah, right here in my pocket. (Pats his pocket. Phoebe smiles, goes over to hug him, and removes the ring from his pocket.) Pheebs?
Phoebe: Oh! Oop! (Hands him back the ring.)
Chandler: Okay, now will you guys get out of here? I want this is to be a surprise and shes gonna know.
Ross: (to the rest of them) Yeah-yeah you guys. Get out of here!
(Monica enters from the bedroom.)
Monica: Hi guys.
Chandler: (To Monica) You are beautiful.
Monica: Oh, thank you! (The gang exhibits signs of quiet apprehension and wears knowing glances.) (Monica giggles.) Whats going on?
Rachel: (breaking up) Were just really very excited about this charity event that we have to go to.
[Scene: The Charity Event, theyre holding a silent auction, Rachel is looking at one of the items and Phoebe walks up and hands her a glass of wine.]
Phoebe: Here.
Rachel: Oh! Thank you!
Phoebe: So now whats going on here?
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.

Rachel: (suddenly worried) Uh, wh-why?
Phoebe: No! Its nice!
(Rachels boss, Mr. Thompson walks up.)
Mr. Thompson: Nice to see you Rachel.
Rachel: Oh, hi!
Mr. Thompson: So glad you brought someone.
Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. (She introduces them.) Hes the head of my department.
Phoebe: Oh, hi. (They shake hands.)
Rachel: And I also brought my friend Joey
Joey: (behind them) Oh!! Shrimp toast! (Walks right past the little group on his way for the shrimp toast.)
Rachel: Well, yknow I-I dont know where he is.
Mr. Thompson: Well, I hope youre gonna bid on some things Rachel.
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Actually, I was about to bid on this lovely trip to Paris.
Mr. Thompson: Ohh, nice choice.
Rachel: Yeah.
Mr. Thompson: Good luck.
Rachel: Thank you. (Mr. Thompson walks away and after hes left.) Okay, (writing her bid down) twenty dollars.
[Scene: Elizabeths Dorm Room, Ross is walking up to her door and knocks on it. Suddenly the door opens and Elizabeth drags him into the room.]
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
  (Runs over and closes the door.)
Ross: Whats-whats going on?
Elizabeth: The guys across the hall are throwing water balloons at us.
Ross: Oh, you have to call the police! Thats what I did to the kids in my building!
Elizabeth: No, its a water balloon fight! We started it!
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
Elizabeth: (ignoring him and picking up a pitcher) Who drank all the Kamikazes?
Sarah: (approaching with two filled balloons in her hands) Nobody! We put them in here! (Indicates the aforementioned balloons causing both of them to scream in delight and start drinking from the balloons.)
Elizabeth: (To Ross) You want some?! (Starts to squirt the Kamikaze at him.)
Ross: No! Okay! Okay! (Stops her.) Okay, look, can I, can I just-just talk to you for a second?
Elizabeth: Yeah, sure.
Ross: Uh, so this play umm, what do you think? Its-its gotten great reviews! Yknow the uh
(Suddenly the door opens and two guys come rushing in wielding water balloons.)
First Dorm Guy: Attack!
(They start lobbing the balloons in. Ross desperately tries to get out of the line of fire but is struck in the back. The girls all retreat to relative safety behind the couch.)
Second Dorm Guy: Put your balloons down!
The Girls: You put your balloons down!!
First Dorm Guy: You put your balloons down!!
(Both opposing camps start screaming at each other to drop their weapons and surrender. Finally, Ross steps in as a mediator.)
Ross: (screaming) Everybody put their balloons down!!! (There is a temporary cease fire.) Now this is a nice suit!! (Shows everyone where he was hit.)
[Scene: The Charity Event, Mr. Thompson is announcing the winners of the silent auction.]
Mr. Thompson: Our next item is the romantic trip to Paris. (Pause.) It goes to Emil Alexander high a high bid of 2,300.
Rachel: Ugh! So close!
(Phoebe returns a with a tray full of different kinds of drinks.)
 Look!
Joey: Hey!
Phoebe: I got me some drinks!
Rachel: What are you doing?
Phoebe: Open bar!
Rachel: Well now its an empty bar.

Mr. Thompson: And finally, our biggest item of the night, the 22-foot gentlemans day sailer sailboat. The winning bid was a whooping $20,000! (Joey suddenly gets excited.)
Joey: I won! That was my guess!
Rachel: What?! What?! What?!
Joey: I guessed 20,000!
Rachel: Joey! It is an auction!
Joey: What?! I dont have 20,000!
Mr. Thompson: Congratulations on your new boat, Joey Tribbiani!!
(Everyone applauds and he stands up slowly.)
Rachel: Joey! Sit down! (Pulls him down.)
Phoebe: Forget her! You enjoy this!! (Pulls him back up and starts applauding again. Joey waves and does a salute.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are sitting at a table. Monica is checking her makeup as Chandler suddenly has a horrifying thought and starts patting down his pockets until he finds what hes looking for and sighs in relief.]
Monica: What are you doing?
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Monica: Are you okay?
Chandler: Yes! Yes! Im good! Are you good? Are you good? Is everythingare youare you perrr-perfect?!
Monica: Yeah. Im okay. Im actuallyIm a little cold, can I have your jacket?
Chandler: Oh, yeah. (Starts to take it off and then realizes) Uh, no you cant have my jacket! Because then I would be cold!  But uh, other than that, are you okay? Are you okay?

Chandler: Yes! Im fine. In fact Ive been fine for a long time now and I think, the reason is you.
Monica: Ohh thats sweet!
Chandler: Okay umm, before I meant you I had really little life and I couldnt imagine growing old with
(As hes talking Monica notices someone familiar has just entered the restaurant. Lets see; I seem to remember him driving a Ferrari in Hawaii solving crimes as a private investigator and as a certain eye doctor in more recent times.)
Monica: (interrupting him) Oh my God!
Chandler: (not knowing the true meaning of her exclamation) I know, but just let me say it.
Monica: Oh my God, Richard. (Yep, Richards back.)
Chandler: What?! Im Chandler! (She nods towards the doorway, Chandler turns and looks) Oh, thats Richard!
Monica: Oh God, maybe he wont see us. Richard!
(Monica smiles then acts shocked. Chandler cant believe she just did that.)
Richard: (approaching them with a woman in tow) Monica! Chandler!
Chandler: Hey-hey, hey! (Gets up and hugs him.) I dont know why I did that!
Monica: Hey, its good to see you!

Monica: YeahOh thats right. You, you always wanted me too. Hey, I see you got your mustache back.
Richard: Well, my nose got lonely.
Chandler: (to Richards date) And uh, you dont have a mustache which is good. (She just smiles.) Im Chandler; I make jokes when Im uncomfortable.
Richards Date: Hi, Im Lisa.
Chandler: Hi.
Richard: Oh, Im sorry. (Introduces them.) Lisa, (nodding at each) Monica, Chandler. We used to date.
Chandler: Richard! No one supposed to know about us! (Richard just smiles at him.) See I, did it again.
Monica: Chandler, wh-why dont we sit down?
Chandler: Yeah, Ill sit down. (He slides back into his chair.)
Monica: (to Richard) Its good to see you
Matire'd: (to Richard) Youre tables ready sir.
Richard: Oh. Good to see you guys.
Chandler: Yes. (Thinking hes gone.)
Matire'd: (motioning to the empty table next to Monica and Chandlers) Or if you prefer, this table is available.
Richard: That might be fun. (Richard and Lisa sit down.)
Commercial Break
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are sitting at their table.]
Rachel: What were you thinking?!
Joey: I didnt know it was an auction!
Rachel: Wh?!
Joey: I figured, take a guess, help a charity, free boat!
Rachel: Why would a charity give away a free boat?!
Joey: I dont know! Charity?
Rachel: Ugh!
 (Shes still working her way through her tray of booze.)

Phoebe: Im just helping the kids!
Rachel: How is you drinking helping the kids?
Phoebe: Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.
Mr. Thompson: (approaching) Mr. Tribbiani.
Joey: Oh hi!
Mr. Thompson: Your generous contribution brings us a big step closer to building the youth center.
Joey: Just out of curiosity, how-how much is that boat worth?
Mr. Thompson: I think it was valued at 19,000
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.
(Mr. Thompson looks shocked and at Rachel, she suddenly starts laughing.)
Rachel: Joey! Joey, good one! (Mr. Thompson starts to laugh.)
Mr. Thompson: Thats good. Very good! (Walks away.)
(After hes left, Rachel stops laughing and glares at Joey again.)
Joey: So uh listen, I think Im gonna take off now. (Starts to get up.)
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey! You cant leave Joey! You agreed to buy that boat, all right?! That is a contract!
Joey: Well, what am I gonna do Rach?! I dont have that kind of money!
Rachel: I know. Okay. (Whispering and thinking.) Okay. Okay. All right.
Joey: Okay.
Rachel: Okay.
Joey: Look, I dont know why the kids need a youth center anyway! Yknow? They should just watch TV after school like I did and I turned out fine!
Rachel: Not great.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
Monica: And so, were hiding in the bathroom.
Richard: And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in.
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
Lisa: (laughing) Oh my God!
{Transcribers Note: For further reading on the above story, please check out The One Where Joey Moves Out.}
Chandler: I got a good one, I got a good one! I once walked in on both my parents making love to the same guy.
(An awkward silence ensues.)
Richard: Its so great seeing you guys again. Id like to make a toast. (Everyone raises their glasses) Uh, as a poet once said, "In the sweetness of friendship, let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures for in the due of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."
Monica: Ohh.
Chandler: What?!
(They all drink.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning to find Ross is there waiting for them.]
 (Hes excited about what he thought happened.)
Chandler: (stopping him from going any further) Before you say anything, have we got a story for you! Guess who we bumped into at dinner!
Ross: Who?
Chandler: Richard!
Ross: What? (Excited) A-ohh! (Realizes) Ohh. Oh thats right thats right. Thats Richards favorite place too.
Chandler: Oh you knew that. Good!
Monica: I thought you were going out with Elizabeth.
Ross: Yeah, I was but uh, she was a little busy with a water balloon fight.

Ross: Yknow, maybe she is too young for me. Yknow, when I was over there and she was running around with her friends, I felt like I was a baby-sitter. I finally started to see what you guys were talking about. I dont know what to do.
Monica: Why dont you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean thats what I did when I first (looks at Chandler and pauses) weighing stuff.
Ross: Okay umm, bad stuff. Well, Im-Im 12 years older than she is.
Monica: If the school finds out youre fired.
Ross: Hmm.
Monica: Shes leaving for three months.
Chandler: For camp!
Ross: Okay, good stuff. Umm, well shes-shes sweet and pretty and
Monica: Look Ross, the only question you need to ask is, "Do you see a future?" I mean like do you see yourself marrying her? (Ross pauses in consideration.) Oh my God! You did it already! You married her, didnt you?!
Ross: No! No! I didnt do that. Its just Okay, honestly no. I dont, I dont see a big future with her.
Monica: Okay well I think thats your answer.
Ross: Ive got to talk to her.
Chandler: Hey, you have to forget about Elizabeth. I mean if youre not careful you may not get married at all this year!
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel and Phoebe are sitting at the table as Joey approaches.]
Joey: Rach! Rachel! Okay, the next highest bidder is at table one.
Rachel: Oh great!
Joey: (To Phoebe) Oh and uh the guy who got the Paris trip is at table four.
Phoebe: Oh, okay.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Why do you care about the guy who won the Paris trip?
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
Emil Alexander: That was me.
Phoebe: Oh, en chante. (She holds out her hand for him to kiss it, but he only shakes it.)
{Transcribers Note: Please correct my French here.}
[Cut to Joey and Rachel approaching table one.]
Joey: Uhh, excuse me is there a Mr. Bowmont at this table?
Mr. Bowmont: Thats me.
Joey: Ahh, yes.
Rachel: Oh well, hello. This is your lucky day Mr. Bowmont, the uh gentleman day sailer as just become available again and I believe that you made a bid of $18,000.
Joey: You-you have to pay that! Its not just a guess.
Rachel: (To Joey) Okay. Okay. (Shushes him.)
Mr. Bowmont: I was actually relieved uh I didnt win the boat. My wife wouldve killed me.
Rachel: Ohh
Joey: Are you kidding me?! Shes gonna this boat!
Rachel: Y-Yeah! What-what is your wifes name?
Mr. Bowmont: Its Pam.
Rachel: Pam! Oh God okay, just imagine this, "The Pam."
Joey: Aw-awww!
Mr. Bowmont: I dont think shed like that.
Rachel: Okay, uh-uh imagine this, "The Mr. Bowmont."
Joey: Oooooh
Mr. Bowmont: I dont think so dear.
 (She sits down next to him.) All right, you are settin sail up the Hudson! Youve got the wind in your h(sees that hes bald)arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that youve always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin!
Mr. Bowmont: What the hell, its for a good cause! All right!
Joey: No way! Its mine!!
Rachel: (To Joey) What?! What?!
Joey: All that stuff you just said? I want that!
Rachel: But Joey you dont have $20,000!
Joey: Who cares?! I-Ill make payments, whatever it takes, I want the Mr. Bowmont!!
 Phoebe gasps.]

Phoebe: Ohh, let me see it! Let me see your hand! (Chandler is frantically trying to wave them off.)
Monica: Why do you want to see my hand?
Phoebe: I wanna see whats in your hand. I wanna see the trash.
Joey: Yeah.
(Chandler puts his face in his hands as Joey and Phoebe start to examine the trash.)
Phoebe: Eww! Oh, its all dirty. You should throw this out.
Monica: (suspiciously) Okay. (Exits to carry out Phoebes wishes.)
Chandler: (after the door closes) What did you guys just do?!
Phoebe: What happened?
Chandler: Richard was there so I couldnt do it!
Joey: What?! Noooo (Phoebe gasps.)
Chandler: Im gonna do it tomorrow yknow, and-and surprise her, but now youve ruined it!
Joey: We didnt ruin it!
Chandler: Who walks into a room and asks to see a persons hands?!
Phoebe: Well, a palm reader, a manicurist, a hand doctor
Joey: Glove salesman!
Phoebe: Good one! Yeah.
Chandler: This is terrible. What am I going to do?
Phoebe: Look, she only suspects something okay? She doesnt know for sure, so just throw her off the track.
 I can make her think marriage is the last thing on my mind.
Phoebe: Yeah! Yeah! Convince her that-that youre scared of commitment!
Chandler: I can do that, Ive had 30 years of practice.
 (They give each other fives.)

Joey: That guys still doing that?!
Rachel: (entering) Hey! (Sees Monica, gasps, and runs over to her.)
Phoebe: No, youre too late!!! She already took out the trash!!!
[Scene: Outside of Elizabeths dormitory, Ross is exiting after breaking up with her and we can hear his thoughts.]
Ross: (in his head) Wow! I have never had such a healthy break-up! She was such a grown-up about it! She didnt seem too immature for me! Did I just make a huge mistake?
 Wait!
Ross: Elizabeth, thank God! I was just thinking about
Elizabeth: You suck!!
Ross: What?!
(She throws a water balloon at him and hits him on the head and hits him again at the waist with another one.)
Ross: Okay, break-ups still on!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is looking out the window and Joey is sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! (Sits on the couch next to him.) How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesnt want to get married?
Joey: Yeah! And also, a little like a French guy. (They both squint at each other.) I never noticed that before.
Monica: (entering) Hi guys!
Joey: Hey!
Chandler: Hey!
Monica: What are you up too?
Chandler: Oh, just hanging out, talkin about uh, websites. (Joey laughs.) Yeah, we saw this really interesting website about marriage and how totally unnecessary it is and how its just a way for the government to keep tabs on you.
Joey: (laughs) Yeah, Big Brother.
Monica: Well thats a little crazy. Although I am yknow glad to hear that youre branching out on what you look at on the Internet.
Chandler: Yeah, well Yknow, it just got me thinking though, why would anybody ever want to get married huh?
Monica: Why?! To celebrate your relationship! To solidify your commitment! To declare your love for one another to the world!
Chandler: Eh
Monica: Okay well thats good to know.
(We hear the backup horn of a truck and see through the window that the Mr. Bowmont has arrived.)
Joey: (all excited) The Mr. Bowmonts here!!!
Monica: Sure, I love this part! (Starts to look busy.)
Waitress: (to the customer) Come on in.
(The customer turns out to be )
Richard: Hi!
Monica: Richard!
Richard: Actually, Im not here to complement the chef.
 Like I have nothing better to do! So whats up?
Richard: Well, it was great seeing you the other night.
Monica: Oh, good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?
Richard: No! I came here to tell you something else. (Pause) I came here (Pause) to tell you I still love you.
Commercial Break
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant, continued from earlier.]
Monica: What uhWhat did youWhat?!
Richard: I still love you.  After seeing ya the other night I knew if I didnt tell ya Id regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever did.
Monica: Yknow youre really not supposed to be back here!
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya!  I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
Monica: Oh God (Starts looking around.) Why dont they put chairs back here?!
Richard: I know this is crazy but am I too late?
 Where was all this three years ago?!
Richard: Well I know I was an idiot! And I tried to forget you, I really did! Yknow after we had lunch last year I spent six months in Africa trying to get you out of my head!
Monica: What were you doing in Africa?
Richard: Working with blind kids.
Monica: Ohhh! What are you doing to me?! Oh look, I-I Im sorry but umm, this-this-this-this is not going to happen.
Richard: Okay thats fine, Ill walk away. And Ill never bother you again, but only if you tell me Chandlers willing to give you everything I am.
Monica: Well he is! Yeah, I mean marriage is all he talks about! My goodness, in fact, Im the one thats making him wait!
Richard: You are?
Monica: Yeah!
Richard: Why?
Monica: Why? Because of the government.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is bringing Phoebe some coffee.]
Rachel: Isnt it incredible?! Monica and Chandler, gettin married.
Phoebe: I know, theyre gonna be so happy together.
Rachel: Ohh I mean two best friends falling in love, how often does that happen?
Phoebe: Not that often!
Rachel: No! Im so happy for them!
Phoebe: Me too! So happy for them!
Rachel: Im so happy and not at all jealous.
Phoebe: Oh no! No God, definitely not jealous!
(They both take a drink of coffee.)
Rachel: I mean Im probably 98% happy, maybe 2% jealous. And I mean whats 2%? Thats nothing.
Phoebe: Totally. Im like 90/10.
Rachel: Yeah me too.
(Joey enters looking like Captain Stubing from the Love Boat.)
Joey: Hey uh, have you guys scene Chandler?
Rachel: (staring at him) Whno, but yknow who did stop in here looking for ya, Tennille.
[Scene: A Pizza Joint, Chandler and Monica are eating lunch.]
Monica: So that marriage stuff that you were saying yesterday, you dont really believe that do you?
Chandler: Sure I do. In fact, I think the whole concept of marriage is unnatural. I mean look at pigs. Lets take a second here and look at pigs. Okay pigs dont mate for life.
Monica: Yeah, but thats pigs not people!
Chandler: If marriage worked, Id be all for it. But do you know what the divorce rate in this country is? 97%.
Monica: Wait a minute. Are you honestly telling me that-that you may never want to get married?
Chandler: Well, never say never but yknow probably uh yeah, never.
Monica: Oh my God! Then-then-then what are we even doing?! What is this?!
Chandler: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is all this pressure?! Is this some new kind of strategy? Why dont you put down your copy of The Rules huh mantrap?!
Monica: Yknow what?! I gotta go! Ugh!
(She gets up and storms out. The people at the other tables are staring at Chandler.)
Chandler: (to them) Its okay, I got a plan.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are still talking.]
Rachel: Were gonna find love!
Phoebe: Definitely!
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Phoebe: You mean a backup?
Rachel: Exactly!
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah I got that.
Rachel: You do?
Phoebe: Hm-mmm.
Rachel: Who?
Phoebe: Joey.
Rachel: Joey?!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Rachel: Are you serious?!
Phoebe: Yeah, I locked him years ago!

Phoebe: Yep, we shook on it. Yeah but believe me that is not how he wanted to seal the deal.
Rachel: Oh, seriously?
Phoebe: Ohh, yeah. I think his exact words were (She makes two clicking sounds with her tongue and purrs.)
Rachel: Charming.
Phoebe: Well hey, its just a backup.
Rachel: Yeah.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey, still looking like Captain Stubing, is practicing his slipknots as Monica enters.]
Joey: Hey Monica!
Monica: Have you seen Rachel? Or a mirror?
Joey: This is for my boat, pretty cool huh?
Monica: Yeah, its great.
Joey: Whoa-whoa, whats the matter?! Talk to the captain!
Monica: Im just having one of those days where you realize youre in a dead-end relationship!
Joey: Chandler giving you a hard time huh?
Monica: Its not like I want to get married tomorrow! Its just that I-Id like to believe that Im in a relationship thats actually going somewhere, that Im not just wasting my time!
Joey: Well, you know Chandler.
Monica: No I dont know Chandler! Not anymore! Its like its like somethings changed.
Joey: Maybe you changed?
Monica: I didnt change!
Joey: Maybe thats the problem.
Monica: What?!
Joey: Chandler is a complex fellow, one who is unlikely to take a wife.
Monica: Is that some kind of boat talk?
Joey: I dont know! (All excited) I havent totally decided how to talk on my boat yet.
Monica: What does he think? Does he think Im just gonna wait around for nothing?
Joey: Monica face it, Chandler is against marriage. And-and always will be!
Monica: (starts for the door) Well theres some people who do want to marry me.
Joey: There are?
Monica: Yeah! Richard!
Joey: R-R-Richard said he wants to marry you?! (Monica nods yes.)
Monica: Thats right.
Joey: Chandler loves marriage!!
 That-that hes a-a complex fellow whos unlikely to take a wife! That-that hes against marriage and always will be!
Joey: You got that from what I said?!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is watching a show about the extinction of the dinosaurs.]
Narrator: When the Cretaceous period ended, the dinosaurs were gone.
Ross: What happened you guys?
(Theres a knock on the door, he shuts the TV off, and answers it.)
Ross: Rach!
Rachel: Hey you!
Ross: Hey, come on in.
Rachel: Oh thank you. Hey yknow, Im so sorry to hear about you and Elizabeth.
Ross: Oh, thanks. Yeah, I really thought wed be able to make it work, but uh, I guess it just wasnt meant to be.
Rachel: Yeah, love. Its a tricky business isnt it?
Ross: I guess so.
Rachel: So what do you say we make a pact? If you and I are both single by the time were 40, we get married. I mean, we know each other, we like each other, and weve-weve already slept together so yknow therell be no surprises there! You know what I mean? No like, "Whats that?!"
Ross: Right. Ohh! You-you want me to be your backup.
Rachel: Exactly.
Ross: Ohh, yeah I already have one.
Rachel: What? Who?
Ross: Phoebe.
Rachel: Phoebe?! Wait abut-but she just, she said that Joey was her backup.
Ross: Ohh, I dont think so.
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
Ross: Thats impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is entering to find Joey, still looking like Captain Stubing, on the phone.]

Chandler: I was making a coconut phone with the professor.
Joey: Richard told Monica he wants to marry her!
Chandler: What?!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah, Ive been trying to find ya to tell to stop messing with her and maybe I would have if these (lifts a leg) damn boat shoes wouldnt keep flying off!
Chandler: MyOh my God!
Joey: I know! They suck!!
Chandler: Hes not supposed to ask my girlfriend to marry him! Im supposed to do that!
Joey: I know!
Chandler: Well what Yknow what Im gonna do?  (Pause) Will you help me?!
Joey: Look, Chandler I dont think us getting our asses kicked is a solution. Okay? Just go and find Monica!
Chandler: Youre right.
Joey: Yeah!
Chandler: Okay. (Starts running for the bedroom) Im gonna get the ring! Im gonna get the ring! (Does so) Im gonna go find her and (starts running for the door) Im just going to propose!
Joey: Okay.
Chandler: Okay great.
Joey: Dude-dude-dude!
Chandler: What?!
Joey: Let me know about that coconut phone, it might great for the boat.
Commercial Break
[Scene: Richards Apartment, hes smoking a cigar and reading a book as there is a knock on the door. He gets up and opens the door to reveal ]
Monica: Hi.
Richard: Hi.
Monica: I dont know why Im here.
Richard: I didnt ask. You wanna come in?
Monica: I dont know.
Richard: Oh, okay. Well, Ill just leave the door open and go sit on the couch. (Does so.)

Richard: (standing up quickly) Drink?
Monica: Yeah, Ill have a scotch
Richard: on the rocks with a twist? I remember. (Goes to make her drink.)
Monica: (moving over to the couch) Still smoking cigars?
Richard: Uh, no! No! Thats art! If it bothers you I can put my art out.
Monica: No thats, thats okay.
Richard: So Monica let me ask you a question. Yknow, since we broke up do you ever, think about me?
Monica: Uh yeah, I-I actually I thought about you a couple months ago.
Richard: Oh really?
Monica: Yeah but it was because I-I had an eye exam and I dont like my new eye doctor.
Richard: Who is it?
Monica: Edward Nevski?
Richard: Yeah hes no good. Do you ever (pause) think about me in a (pause) non-eye doctor way?
Monica: No.
Richard: Ahh.
Monica: But getting over was the hardest thing that Ive ever had to do. And I never let myself think about you.
(Richard mouths, "Wow!")
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is reading as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Phoebe! You picked Joey and Ross?! You can not have two backups!
Phoebe: Of course I can! Its just good sense to backup your backup! Look, Ive already lost Chandler!
Rachel: What?!
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Phoebe! Were both (points at Ross and himself) your backup?!
Ross: Phoebe, how could you do this to me?!
Phoebe: I dontLook I dont know what youre complaining about now? You were both aware of the situation!
(At the same time.)
Joey: No we werent!
Ross: I was not!
Phoebe: Okay, this kind of back talk is not gonna fly when were married!
Rachel: Phoebe you cant have both of them! You have to pick one!
Joey: Pick me!!
Ross: No! Pick me! I dont want to end up an old maid!
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
Joey: This is crazy! Hey look, I wanna switch to Rachel!
Ross: Ooh, I wanna switch to Rachel too!
(Rachel gets all happy.)
Phoebe: No wait! JustOkayJust wait! You guys! Wait you guys! Dont make any rash decisions, okay? Just remember my promise, when we get married, three times a week.
Rachel: Oh God, Phoebe!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Im talking about massages.
Rachel: Oh.
 Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
Joey: Okay thats fair.
Ross: All right.
Phoebe: Good!
(Rachel mixes them up in her hands, moves them all around, and puts her hands behind her back.)
Rachel: Pick one.
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Rachel: Youre welcome.
Phoebe: (reading) Ross!
Rachel: (reading) Joey! (Pause) We should just switch.
Phoebe: Yeah absolutely! (They both switch.)
Joey: Yeah.
[Scene: Richards Apartment, Monica is looking around and notices an African mask hanging on the wall.]
Monica: (to the mask) I missed you-you ugly, flat faced old freak!
Richard: Excuse me?
Monica: Oh! (Laughs and points at the mask.) Him.
Richard: Oh. (Laughs.) Whew!
Monica: I missed this apartment! Now, this is a grown-ups apartment! Yknow, I-I should be with a grown-up, do you know what I mean?!
Richard: Yeah! Youre saying, you need to be with someone more mature. Maybe someone with, a license to practice medicine. Or a mustache.
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that!
Richard: I think thats fair.
Monica: Fair? Please dont even talk to me about fair! Fair wouldve been you wanting to marry me back then! Or fair wouldve been Chandler wanting to marry me now! Believe me, nothing about this is fair! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
Richard: Its okay! Shh! Hey. Hey. (Hugs her) Shhhh.
Monica: Nothing. (She backs away a little bit but is still in his arms and looks up at his eyes.) I dont knUmm. I dont know. Umm
Richard: I know. (Backs away.)
Monica: Yknow, I-I I have to figure some stYknow, some stuff before I can
Richard: Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. (Pause) Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. Ill be here. Not smoking. (Monica leaves.)
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
Richard: Chandler.
Chandler: Where is she?  (Averts his eyes and walks in.)
Richard: Shes not here and please come in.
Chandler: (examining the coffee table) Scotch on the rocks, with a twist, on a coaster? Ha-ha, Monica! Monica!
Richard: Okay, she was here, but she left.
Chandler: Well where did she go?
Richard: Well she said she had to think things over.
 Yknow, I thought I thought you were a good guy.
Richard: Oh, hey look nothing happened.
Chandler: Nothing happened? Nothing? So you didnt tell my girlfriend that you love her?
Richard: Well all right, one thing happened?
Chandler: Yknow what? I cant believe this! Do you know what you did? My girlfriend is out there thinking things over! You made my girlfriend think!!
Richard: Well Im sorry.
Chandler: And what does she have to think about? I love her!
Richard: Well, apparently Im willing to offer her things that you are not.
Chandler: But I am willing to offer her all those things. This was just a plan, yknow? A way to throw her off course so that when I offered her all these things, shed be surprised!
Richard: Well if it helps, it worked very well.
Chandler: It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isnt fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other!  (Sits down heavily.) I was gonna propose tonight.
Richard: You were gonna propose? (Sits on the arm of the couch.)
Chandler: Yeah I even (pause) got a ring. (Puts in on the center cushion.) Did you get a ring?
Richard: No I dont have a ring!  (Pause) And can I give you a piece of advice? If you do get her, dont let her go. Trust me.
Chandler: Yknow Richard you are a good guy.
Richard: I know.
(Chandler gets up and runs out, but as soon as the door closes behind him he opens it, runs back in, picks up his ring Richard is holding up for him, and runs back out.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is running up the stairs and towards his apartment, but Joey is taking out the garbage at the same time and stops him in the hall.]
Joey: Dude!
Chandler: I cant talk to you now, I gotta find Monica!
Joey: Shes gone.
Chandler: What?
Joey: Shes gone. She had a bag and she left.
Chandler: What are you talking about?
Joey: She was all crying. She-she said you guys want different things, and that and that she needed time to think.
Chandler: Well why didnt you stop her?! Why didnt you just tell her it was a plan?!
Joey: I-I did! I told her everything, Chandler! But she wouldnt believe me.
Chandler: Well where Where did she go?
Joey: To her parents I think and she said you shouldnt call her. But if I were you I would.
Chandler: I cant believe I ruined this.
Joey: I am so sorry man.
(He walks dejectedly into his apartment to find it lit with about a thousand candles and Monica standing in the living room.)
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
(He turns to look at Joey who smiles slyly and closes the door leaving them alone.)
Chandler: Oh my God.
(Monica gets down on one knee.)
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it.  (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Monica: Yes.
(The crowd goes wild as he puts the ring on her finger. They hug and kiss this time as an engaged couple.)
Monica: I knew you were likely to take a wife!
(They hug again.)
Joey: (yelling through the door) Can we come it yet?! Were dying out here!
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
(Everyone screams and has a group hug.)
Rachel: Ohhh, this is the least jealous Ive ever been!
Phoebe: Oh no wait no, this is wrong! Ross isnt here!
 He knows what its about!
Joey: Yeah!
(They all hug again.)
Ending Credits
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, its just Monica and Chandler dancing to Wonderful Tonight on the Slowhand album by Eric Clapton. And you can buy that album from the CFSI, just click on the CDNow link.]
End


Software craftsman with experience in agile practices and development of
large scale, web-based, cloud-native applications, using the Java stack,
and most recently Ruby and JavaScript.
Work Experience
Arta Finance
—
Software Engineer
(Mountain View, CA)
6/2022 - 1/2023
Arta wants to give everyone get access to the best financial
services so that they can live their best lives. I was part of the
infrastructure team that tied the human-facing UI to AI models and
financial institutions.
keywords
Python, DAML smart contracts, Google Cloud, protobuf
Forge
—
Staff Software Engineer
(San Francisco, CA)
11/2021 - 6/2022
Forge is powering a global private market that is transparent,
accessible and seamless for companies, their employees, investors
and institutions.
keywords
.NET Core, C#, Ruby on Rails, Git, JSON, Test-Driven Development,
Pair Programming
Gusto
—
Software Engineer
(San Francisco, CA)
10/2019 - 10/2021
Breaking up monoliths at Gusto: the people platform built for small
businesses. My team enabled communication between services using
federated GraphQL, gRPC, and Kafka.
keywords
Ruby on Rails, GraphQL, Apollo Federation, gRPC, TypeScript, Node,
Git, JSON, Test-Driven Development, Pair Programming, protobuf
Directly
—
Co-Founder
+
Lead Architect
(San Francisco, CA)
12/2010 - 10/2019
Directly let's a company tap the collective wisdom and free cycles
of its expert users to help answer customer support tickets. As the
technical co-founder, led development to successful $12M Series A
and $20M Series B. Built event-driven backend, expert web dashboard,
gamification dynamics, universal connector to trigger web hooks
according to configurable business logic. Carved microservices out
of the initial monolith, such as the core routing engine, which
optimizes resolution rates by sending tasks to experts based on a
number of factors, and an AI system to auto-answer frequent support
tickets.
keywords
Microservices, Grails, RabbitMQ, Git, Redis, MySQL, JSON, Scrum,
Test-Driven Development, Jenkins, AWS
ShopWell
—
Software Engineer
(Palo Alto, CA)
10/2009 - 11/2010
Employee #3 in a 12-person startup that wanted to change the way
people eat. As a backend developer, worked with dietitians to
customize nutrition labels based on user profiles, match food
ingredients. Also, user management, tagging, early work with Solr
and Facebook. Scrum with 2-week sprints.
keywords
Grails, Solr, Spring Security, Git, MySQL, Scrum, TDD, Estimation
Poker, Hudson, AWS
Google
—
Software Engineer
(Mountain View, CA)
2005 - 2009
Agile coach on multiple projects (Calendar, Docs, Orkut, AdSense):
embedded with teams to coach developers to refactor code for
maintainability and testability, to improve continuous build
systems, to care about code quality. Self-published articles on
jMock and
Guice.
On Google Base: built an analytics feature from automated data
gathering with map-reduce to surfacing data in the frontend,
resulting in 20% increase in dashboard page views.
keywords
TDD, Pair Programming, Java, Guice, jWebUnit, Selenium, Git, Ruby,
RSpec, Python, Sawzall, MapReduce, MySQL
LinkedIn
—
Senior Software Engineer
(Palo Alto, CA)
2004 - 2005
As one of 5 engineers, built first versions of core LinkedIn
features like subscriptions, LI Jobs and LI Groups. Full-stack
development, including tests, on short release cycles.
keywords
TDD, Java, JSP, XML, HtmlUnit, MaxQ, Oracle
Open sourced an analytical library to inspect compiled Java code for
dependencies, API evolution, and OO metrics. It supports multiple
frontends: command-line, GUI, Ant tasks, and web. Software
Development magazine listed Dependency Finder as one of ten open
source projects to watch back in 2004.
keywords
TDD, Design Patterns, Java, JSP, XML, XSLT, Ant, Git, SourceForge


phone {{people.Mobile}}
{{people.InvolvedPartyType | involvedPartyType}}
-- {{people.Demands.length}}


This chapter includes the following topics:
To increase server and network availability and band-width, two new compression formats are available to Java deployment of applications and applets: gzip and Pack200.
With both techniques the compressed JAR files are transmitted over the network and the receiving application decompresses and restores them.
HTTP 1.1 (RFC 2616) protocol discusses HTTP compression. HTTP Compression allows applications JAR files to be deployed as compressed JAR files. The supported compression techniques are gzip,compress,deflate.
As of SDK/JRE version 5.0, HTTP compression is implemented in
Java Web Start and Java Plug-in in compliance with RFC 2616. The
supported techniques are gzip and pack200-gzip.
The requesting application sends an HTTP request to the server. An
HTTP request has multiple fields. The Accept-Encoding (AE) field is
set to pack200-gzip
or gzip
, indicating
to the server that the application can handle
pack200-gzip
or gzip
format.
The server implementation will search for the requested JAR file
with .pack.gz
or .gz
file extension and
respond back with the located file. The server will set the
response header Content-Encoding (CE) field to
pack200-gzip
, gzip
, or NULL depending on
the type of file that is being sent, and optionally may set the
Content-Type (CT) to application/Java-archive. Therefore, by
inspecting the CE field, the requesting application can apply the
corresponding transformation to restore the original JAR file.
The above can be achieved using a simple servlet or server
module with any HTTP 1.1 compliant web-servers. Compressing files
on the fly will degrade server performance, especially with
Pack200, and therefore not recommended.
Sample Tomcat Servlet:
/** * A simple HTTP Compression Servlet */ import java.util.*; import java.io.*; import javax.servlet.*; import javax.servlet.http.*; import java.util.zip.*; import java.net.*; /** * The servlet class. */ public class ContentType extends HttpServlet { private static final String JNLP_MIME_TYPE = "application/x-java-jnlp-file"; private static final String JAR_MIME_TYPE = "application/x-java-archive"; private static final String PACK200_MIME_TYPE = "application/x-java-pack200"; // HTTP Compression RFC 2616 : Standard headers public static final String ACCEPT_ENCODING = "accept-encoding"; public static final String CONTENT_TYPE = "content-type"; public static final String CONTENT_ENCODING = "content-encoding"; // HTTP Compression RFC 2616 : Standard header for HTTP/Pack200 Compression public static final String GZIP_ENCODING = "gzip"; public static final String PACK200_GZIP_ENCODING = "pack200-gzip"; private void sendHtml(HttpServletResponse response, String s) throws IOException { PrintWriter out = response.getWriter(); out.println(""); out.println(""); out.println("<title>ContentType</title>"); out.println(""); out.println(""); out.println(s); out.println(""); out.println(""); } /* * Copy the inputStream to output , */ private void sendOut(InputStream in, OutputStream ostream) throws IOException { byte buf[] = new byte[8192]; int n = in.read(buf); while (n > 0 ) { ostream.write(buf,0,n); n = in.read(buf); } ostream.close(); in.close(); } boolean doFile(String name, HttpServletResponse response) { File f = new File(name); if (f.exists()) { getServletContext().log("Found file " + name); response.setContentLength(Integer.parseInt( Long.toString(f.length()))); response.setDateHeader("Last-Modified",f.lastModified()); return true; } getServletContext().log("File not found " + name); return false; } /** Called when someone accesses the servlet. */ public void doGet(HttpServletRequest request, HttpServletResponse response) throws IOException, ServletException { String encoding = request.getHeader(ACCEPT_ENCODING); String pathInfo = request.getPathInfo(); String pathInfoEx = request.getPathTranslated(); String contentType = request.getContentType(); StringBuffer requestURL = request.getRequestURL(); String requestName = pathInfo; ServletContext sc = getServletContext(); sc.log("----------------------------"); sc.log("pathInfo="+pathInfo); sc.log("pathInfoEx="+pathInfoEx); sc.log("Accept-Encoding="+encoding); sc.log("Content-Type="+contentType); sc.log("requestURL="+requestURL); if (pathInfoEx == null) { response.sendError(response.SC_NOT_FOUND); return; } String outFile = pathInfo; boolean found = false; String contentEncoding = null; // Pack200 Compression if (encoding != null && contentType != null && contentType.compareTo(JAR_MIME_TYPE) == 0 && encoding.toLowerCase().indexOf(PACK200_GZIP_ENCODING) > -1){ contentEncoding = PACK200_GZIP_ENCODING; if (doFile(pathInfoEx.concat(".pack.gz"),response)) { outFile = pathInfo.concat(".pack.gz") ; found = true; } else { // Pack/Compress and transmit, not very efficient. found = false; } } // HTTP Compression if (found == false && encoding != null && contentType != null && contentType.compareTo(JAR_MIME_TYPE) == 0 && encoding.toLowerCase().indexOf("gzip") > -1) { contentEncoding = GZIP_ENCODING; if (doFile(pathInfoEx.concat(".gz"),response)) { outFile = pathInfo.concat(".gz"); found = true; } } // No Compression if (found == false) { // just send the file contentEncoding = null; sc.log(CONTENT_ENCODING + "=" + "null"); doFile(pathInfoEx,response); outFile = pathInfo; } response.setHeader(CONTENT_ENCODING, contentEncoding); sc.log(CONTENT_ENCODING + "=" + contentEncoding + " : outFile="+outFile); if (sc.getMimeType(pathInfo) != null) { response.setContentType(sc.getMimeType(pathInfo)); } InputStream in = sc.getResourceAsStream(outFile); OutputStream out = response.getOutputStream(); if (in != null) { try { sendOut(in,out); } catch (IOException ioe) { if (ioe.getMessage().compareTo("Broken pipe") == 0) { sc.log("Broken Pipe while writing"); return; } else throw ioe; } } else response.sendError(response.SC_NOT_FOUND); } } |
Pack200 compresses large files very
efficiently, depending on the density and size of the class files
in the JAR file. One can expect compression to 1/9 the size of the
JAR file, if it contains only class files and is in the order of
several MB.
Using the same jar in the previous
example:
Notepad.jar 46.25 kb
Notepad.jar.pack.gz 22.58 kb
In this case the same jar can be
reduced by 50%.
Please note: when signing large jars, step 5 may fail with a Security Error — a likely cause is bug 5078608. Please use one of the workarounds detailed in the release notes.
Pack200 works most efficiently on Java class files. It uses several techniques to efficiently reduce the size of JAR files:
Pack200 can be used by using the
Command Line Interfaces pack200(1), unpack200(1) in the bin
directory of your SDK or the JRE directory.
Pack200 interfaces can also invoked programmatically from Java,
please refer to the API and JavaDoc references to
Java.util.jar.Pack200.
1. Consider the size of the JAR file, the contents of the JAR file, and the bandwidth of your target audience.
All these factors play into choosing a compression technique. The unpack200 is designed to be as efficient as possible and it takes little time to restore the original file. If you have large JAR files (2 MB or more) comprised mostly of class files, Pack200 is the preferred compression technique. If you have large JAR files which are comprised of resource files (JPEG, GIF, data, etc.), then gzip is the preferred compression technique.
2. Pack200 segmenting.
Pack200 loads the entire packed file
into memory. However, when target systems are memory and resource
constrained, setting the Pack200.Packer.SEGMENT_LIMIT
to a lower value, will reduce the memory requirements during
packing and unpacking. The
Pack200.Packer.SEGMENT_LIMIT=-1
will force one
segment to be generated, which will be effect in size reduction,
but will require a much larger Java heap on the packing and
unpacking system. Note that several of these packed segments may be
concatenated to produce a single packed file.
3. Signing the JAR files.
Pack200 rearranges the contents of the resultant JAR file. The jarsigner hashes the contents of the class file and stores the hash in an encrypted digest in the manifest. When the unpacker runs on a packed packed, the contents of the classes will be rearranged and thus invalidate the signature. Therefore, the JAR file must be normalized first using pack200 and unpack200, and thereafter signed.
(Here's why this works: Any reordering the packer does of any classfile structures is idempotent, so the second packing does not change the orderings produced by the first packing. Also, the unpacker is guaranteed by the JSR 200 specification to produce a specific bytewise image for any given transmission ordering of archive elements.)
Suppose you wish to use HelloWorld.jar.
Step 1: Repack the file to normalize the jar, repacking calls the packer and unpacks the file in one step. % pack200 --repack HelloWorld.jar Step 2: Sign the jar after we normalize using repack. % jarsigner -keystore myKeystore HelloWorld.jar
ksrini Verify the just signed jar to ensure the signing worked. % jarsigner -verify HelloWorld.jar Ensure the jar still works. % Java -jar HelloWorld.jar Step 3: Now we pack the file % pack200 HelloWorld.jar.pack.gz HelloWorld.jar Step 4: Unpack the file % unpack200 HelloWorld.jar.pack.gz HelloT1.jar Step 5: Verify the jar % jarsigner -verify HelloT1.jar // Test the jar ... % Java -jar HelloT1.jar After verification, the compressed pack file HelloWorld.jar.pack.gz can be deployed. |
4. Reduction techniques:
Pack200.Packer.MODIFICATION_TIME="LATEST"
. This will allow
one modification time to be transmitted in the pack file for each
segment. The latest time will be the latest time of any entry
within that segment. For example:
pack200 --modification-time=latest --deflate-hint="true"
tools-md.jar.pack.gz tools.jar
Note: the above optimizations will yield better results with a
JAR file containing thousands of entries.
Pack200.Packer.STRIP_DEBUG=true.
This typically reduces
the packed file by about 10%.
Example:
pack200 --strip-debug tools-stripped.jar.pack.gz
tools.jar
5. Handling unknown attributes:
Pack200 deals with standard attributes defined by the Java
Virtual Machine Specification, however compilers are free to
introduce custom attributes. When such attributes are present, by
default, Pack200 passes through the class, emitting a warning
message. These "passed-through" class files, may contribute to
bloating of packed files. If the unknown attributes are prevalent
in the classes of a JAR file, this may lead to a very large bloat
of the packed output. In such a cases, consider the following
strategies:
Strip the attribute if the attribute is deemed to be
redundant at runtime, this can be achieved by setting the
property Pack200.Packer.UNKNOWN_ATTRIBUTE=STRIP or
pack200 --unknown-attribute=strip foo.pack.gz
foo.jar
If the attributes are required at runtime, and they do
contribute to an inflation, then identify the attribute from the
warning message and apply a suitable layout for these, as described
in the Pack200 JSR 200 specification., and the Java API reference
section for Pack200.Packer.
Its possible that a compiler could define an attribute not implemented in the layout specification of Pack200, and may cause the Packer to malfunction, in such cases an entire class file(s) can be "passed through", as if it were a resource by virtue of its name and can be specified as follows:
pack200 --pass-file="com/acme/foo/bar/baz.class" foo.pack.gz
foo.jar
or an entire directory and its contents,
pack200
--pass-file="com/acme/foo/bar/" foo.pack.gz
foo.jar
6. Installers:
You may wish to take advantage of the Pack200 technology in your installation program, whereby a product's jars may need to compressed using Pack200 and decompressed during the installation. If the JRE or SDK is bundled in the installation, you are free to use the unpack200 (Unix) or unpack200.exe(Windows) in the distribution 'bin' directory, this implementation is a pure C++ application requiring no Java runtime to be present for it to run.
Windows: Installers may use a better algorithm than the one in GZIP to compress entries in such cases, one will get better compression using the Installer's intrinsic compression, by using the pack200 as follows:
pack200 --no-gzip foo.jar.pack foo.jar
This will prevent the output file from being gzip compressed.
unpack200 is a Windows Console application, ie. it will display a MS-DOS window during the install, to suppress this, you can use a launcher with a WinMain which will suppress this window, as shown below.
Sample Code:
#include "windows.h" #include <stdio.h> int APIENTRY WinMain(HINSTANCE hInstance, HINSTANCE hPrevInstance, LPSTR lpCmdLine, int nCmdShow) { STARTUPINFO si; memset(&si, 0, sizeof(si)); si.cb = sizeof(si); PROCESS_INFORMATION pi; memset(&pi, 0, sizeof(pi)); //Test //lpCmdLine = "c:/build/windows-i586/bin/unpack200 -l c:/Temp/log c:/Temp/rt.pack c:/Temp/rt.jar"; int ret = CreateProcess(NULL, /* Exec. name */ lpCmdLine, /* cmd line */ NULL, /* proc. sec. attr. */ NULL, /* thread sec. attr */ TRUE, /* inherit file handle */ CREATE_NO_WINDOW | DETACHED_PROCESS, /* detach the process/suppress console */ NULL, /* env block */ NULL, /* inherit cwd */ &si, /* startup info */ &pi); /* process info */ if ( ret == 0) ExitProcess(255); // Wait until child process exits. WaitForSingleObject( pi.hProcess, INFINITE ); DWORD exit_val; // Be conservative and return if (GetExitCodeProcess(pi.hProcess, &exit_val) == 0) ExitProcess(255); ExitProcess(exit_val); // Return the error code of the child process return -1; } |
It is required that all JAR files,
packed and unpacked, be tested for correctness with your
applications test qualifiers. When using the command line interface
pack200
, the output file will be compressed using
gzip
with default values. A user may create a
simple pack file and compress using gzip
with user-specified options or using some other compressor.
For more information see pack200
and
unpack200
in Java Deployment
Tools.
In Java SE 6, the Java class file format has been updated. For more information see JSR 202: Java Class File Specification Update. Due to JSR 202 the Pack200 engine needs to be updated accordingly for the following reasons:
To keep the changes minimal and seamless for users, the packer will generate appropriately versioned pack files based on the version of the input class files.
Also to maintain backward compatibility, if the input JAR-files are solely comprised of JDK 1.5 or older class files, a 1.5 compatible pack file is produced. Otherwise a Java SE 6 compatible pack200 file is produced. For more information, refer the Pack200 man page.


Please read the following instruction carefully.
General instruction:
Candidates are to report to the allotted test centre at least 45 minutes
Candidates are to report to the allotted test centre at least 45 minutes
Candidates are to report to the allotted test centre at least 45 minutes
Candidates are to report to the allotted test centre at least 45 minutes
Candidates are to report to the allotted test centre at least 45 minutes
Candidates are to report to the allotted test centre at least 45 minutes


Interview: Burnie Burns of Red vs Blue on viral video, business models and more.
I’m pretty excited about our first interview here at Guerilla Showrunner. Red vs Blue, after all, is one of the five or six real Web Series hits in the history of the medium, right up there with Dr Horrible, The Guild, and LonelyGirl.
Burnie Burns was one of the founders of the show, and subsequently the founder of Rooster Teeth, one of very few successful professional Machinima production companies. It was great to have a chat with him about his thoughts on Web showrunning, the “viral” phenomenon, and even if Red vs Blue could happen in 2011 at all…
Tips for new showrunners
Hugh: So, to start off… If you could give a new Web showrunner 3 tips, what would they be?
Burnie: Make at least 3-4 episodes of a new project before releasing the first one. If you find you have a hit on your hands, you will need the extra production buffer to ramp up while still putting out episodes. If you don’t have any new content ready one there is a demand to see more, you will lose people back into the ether.
Hugh: Huh - interesting! So, do you advise breaking from your intended production schedule if you have a hit and releasing the next episode or episodes whilst the iron is hot? That’s a really interesting idea - I must admit I’ve always worked on “stick to the schedule”.
Burnie: I think consistency is key. I come from the perspective of a “once per week” show, but daily or monthly schedules apply. You want people to know when they can get it. I try to think of it as “staying out of the audience’s way” – you don’t want to make it any harder than necessary to find the show.
Also, if you are making episodic content, you have to be comfortable with the fact that your series will have individually less view per episode than the “one hit” video of the day. Your brilliantly written, superbly acted piece just will not compete with the kitten wearing the hula skirt. Learn to live with it; series production is a long haul, it’s not intended for short term gains.
Can video still go viral?
Hugh: One canard I’ve heard repeatedly is that “viral is over. You can’t go viral any more”. Given RvB was one of the most viral things ever, would you say that’s true? Could RvB happen now, and if so how?
Burnie: I won’t say RvB could not happen today, but I will say that I personally would not know how to make it happen today. Viral might indeed be dead. The internet has changed so much since 2002, the term viral simply might not apply to the current framework.
Back then, people were isolated on the web. The way information moved was from person to person – like a virus.
Now, everyone has joined major networks like Facebook, YouTube and Twitter. This shift is an incredible leap forward in connectivity, but it brings a terrible amount of noise with it.
People are bombarded with so much content now, it becomes nearly impossible to sift through it. Actually it’s literally impossible. According to YouTube’s fact sheet, there’s twenty four hours of video uploaded every minute. There’s no way you could process it all.
The tolerance for content is dropping as well. A narrative takes time to develop, but people are not willing to invest more than three minutes in online content.
You have to hit hard and fast.
Business models and how to use them
_Hugh: Since you’re one of the few pro web series creators out there, everyone’s going to want to know - what’s the Rooster Teeth business model? Are you supported by indie work, or is your main revenue stream production work for other companies? (been there…) _
Burnie: For five years we survived solely on t-shirt sales and DVDs – I called it the Homestar Runner Economic Model.
For the past few years, we have mixed in advertising and professional production contracts as well. We employ thirteen full time employees.
_Hugh: You also have a “supporter” or “subscriber” program, right? _
Burnie: Yes, we have a subscriber model with early windowed releases. We treat that much like a digital DVD product. The Sponsors get higher quality and bonus features that you would associate with a DVD.
Hugh: Do you think other Machinima or web show creators could use the same model?
Burnie; I think the best bet for a new machinima project would be to produce it in hopes of forging a partnership with the developer. Too many times, I see very talented people producing excellent content, building a solid audience and then when it’s time to figure out how to support the project, the developer never picks up the phone when the producer calls for approval. It guess that it’s easier to say nothing than to say no.
It’s the IP owner’s prerogative of course, but it’s sad when honest people have to fold up shop because the don’t want to take liberties, but the dev never wants to supply a solid yes or no. They linger in limbo until they just give up and shut down.
How their content production has changed
_Hugh: What have the big improvements been between how you produced content when you started out, and now?  _
Burnie: We have expanded our content offering. For a long, long time it was just machinima. Now we have animation projects, machinima projects, live action and traditional development projects that we don’t put on the web.
 I think we’re very good about trying new things and developing ideas that resonate with the audience, but there’s always a few videos that we love a lot more than the audience does.
It’s even more frustrating when a few videos within a series will have lower views than all the other episodes around it. It almost feels like a large chunk of people have somehow skipped an episode or two. Sometimes you just have to shrug.
Hugh: I’ve seen the same thing. What do you think causes those sudden drop-offs? I’ve been thinking a lot about metrics lately, and about user retention and such things - I’d guess that either there’s an external issue or some kind of subtle design flaw in the episode - or the one before it.
Burnie: I think it’s just natural fatigue. I consider myself a South Park fan, but I won’t pretend that I’ve watched every episode. The same applies to The Simpsons. I watch it when I can.
Hugh: Well, I think that’s about all we have time for! Thanks very much for the interview!
What do you think? Is viral outdated? Should you break release schedules? And do you have any idea why episodes sometimes randomly drop in views? Let us know below!
_Guerilla Showrunner is the only blog on the ‘net (that I know of) that’s 100% about the art, craft and business of running Web series. We’ve got more interviews with top Web Series creators coming up, as well as loads of info articles on monetising your show, creating your web presence, and every other aspect of Web showrunning.Subscribe now to make sure you don’t miss those articles when they appear! _
Read more →


This spoiler describes the behaviour of the scrolls found in Martin's Dungeon Bash version 1.5.
Teleports the player to a randomly selected square in a randomly selected room. Will try up to 7200 times to get a destination.
Identifies all items in the player's inventory.
Engulfs the player in searing flames doing 4d10 damage; if the player is wearing a ring of fire, this damage is not applied and the player's ring is identified.
Attempts to generate 2-4 monsters adjacent to the player.
Awakens all monsters on the current level.
Removes any black magic curses (leadfoot, armourmelt, withering) currently afflicting the player, and gives the player 100 ticks worth of protection from black magic curses if not currently protected from black magic curses.


logging
logging [include,...]
Gets and sets the logging configuration.
When called without an argument, returns the list of categories that are currently being debug logged.
When called with arguments, adds or removes categories from debug logging.
The valid logging categories are: " + ListLogCategories() + "
libevent logging is configured on startup and cannot be modified by this RPC during runtime.Arguments:
1. "include" (array of strings) add debug logging for these categories.
2. "exclude" (array of strings) remove debug logging for these categories.
Result: (string): a list of the logging categories that are active.
Examples:
> bitcoin-cli logging "[\\"all\\"]" "[\\"http\\"]"
> curl --user myusername --data-binary '{"jsonrpc": "1.0", "id":"curltest", "method": "logging", "params": [["all"], "[libevent]"] }' -H 'content-type: text/plain;' http://<IP_ADDRESS>:8332/


I'm Esteban and I'm a developer that love learn new technologies.
I enjoy writing front-end code with these technologies
We can keep in touch by email, facebook or tweeter estepuma@hotmail.com


Okunoye Faruk Olamilekan Student, Designer, Photographer
Email<EMAIL_ADDRESS>Phone Number: +2348140416965
View More....
Deigned by Okunoye Faruk Olamilekan © Copyright 2021


Red Hat Mobile Application Platform
Try out the Red Hat Mobile Application Platform with these workshops.
COMING SOON... Access the self-paced 4.2 workshop content here
Who should attend
- Frontend Developers
- Backend Developers
- Technical leads
- Operations Engineers
What you will learn
- How backend services can be reused across multiple mobile projects
- How RHMAP templates can speed up mobile development
- How the platform can manage you app lifecycle and enable DevOps
Create in the hands-on lab
- Learn the basics of navigating the RHMAP web console
- Quickly prototype forms based apps
- Deploy reusable microservices for backend capability
- Implement push notifications and cloud logic to trigger them


|
Polkadot Substrate API for C++
|
#include <iapplication.h>
Public Member Functions | |
| virtual int | connect (string node_url="")=0 |
| virtual void | disconnect ()=0 |
| virtual unique_ptr< SystemInfo > | getSystemInfo ()=0 |
| virtual unique_ptr< BlockHash > | getBlockHash (unique_ptr< GetBlockHashParams > params)=0 |
| virtual unique_ptr< Metadata > | getMetadata (unique_ptr< GetMetadataParams > params)=0 |
| virtual unique_ptr< RuntimeVersion > | getRuntimeVersion (unique_ptr< GetRuntimeVersionParams > params)=0 |
| virtual unsigned long | getAccountNonce (string address)=0 |
| virtual void | signAndSendTransfer (string sender, string privateKey, string recipient, unsigned __int128 amount, std::function< void(string)> callback)=0 |
| virtual int | subscribeBlockNumber (std::function< void(long long)> callback)=0 |
| virtual int | unsubscribeBlockNumber ()=0 |
| virtual int | subscribeBalance (string address, std::function< void(unsigned __int128)> callback)=0 |
| virtual int | unsubscribeBalance (string address)=0 |
| virtual int | subscribeEraAndSession (std::function< void(Era, Session)> callback)=0 |
| virtual int | unsubscribeEraAndSession ()=0 |
| virtual int | subscribeAccountNonce (string address, std::function< void(unsigned long)> callback)=0 |
| virtual int | unsubscribeAccountNonce (string address)=0 |
Communication with Substrate node assumes establishing a secure WebSocket connection using connect() method, performing all operations as needed using the API calls defined in this interface, and closing connection using disconnect() method.
Connection can be left open for as long as needed, and it will be maintained by the API. For this reason API runs several maintenance threads and the process that established connection needs to be kept in memory and running.
API calls are thread-safe, yet it is not guaranteed for asynchronous operations that commands will finish (and receive response) in the order they were sent. Also, many API methods use callback mechanism for asynchronous operations. Please do not insert blocking code in the callback handlers because it will block other commands from receiving responses. Responses may be lost and application may enter in a deadlock if handlers block. Also, please do not chain API methods by calling other API methond inside response handlers.
Definition at line 16 of file iapplication.h.
|
pure virtual |
Connects to WebSocket
In order to establish successful TLS connection, a root CA certificate needs to be present in pem file configured in CConstants::certificate_file (currently ca-chain.cert.pem). You can put several certificates in this text file one after the other. Currently Polkadot poc-3 server is using DST_Root_CA_X3 CA and Unfrastructure POC-3 server is using Amazon Root CA 1, so the content of these certificate files is added to ca-chain.cert.pem, but in case if this changes, one can find out the issuer certificate by executing following instructions:
curl --insecure -v https://poc3-rpc.polkadot.io:443
openssl x509 -in <downloaded_cert_file> -noout -issuer
Check folder /usr/share/ca-certificates/mozilla if it has this CA certificate. If it does, copy content to ca-chain.cert.pem, otherwise return to step 2
Configuration of Node URL
There are a few options how node URL can be configured. If empty string is provided in parameter and no configuration file is present, the default URL is used. If config file is provided (in the same folder as executable is run from), it overrides default value. If node URL is provided in the parameter, it overrides all other options. Config file has JSON format. Example is provided in config_example.json file in project root on GitHub:
https://github.com/usetech-llc/polkadot_api_cpp
$param node_url - Node URL to connect to. If set to default value of "", default node URL will be used
Implemented in CPolkaApi.
|
pure virtual |
Disconnects from WebSocket
Implemented in CPolkaApi.
|
pure virtual |
Retreives the current nonce for specific address
| address | - the address to get nonce for |
Implemented in CPolkaApi.
|
pure virtual |
|
pure virtual |
|
pure virtual |
Retreives the runtime version information for specific block
| struct | with blockHash 64 diget number in hex format |
Implemented in CPolkaApi.
|
pure virtual |
This method calls rpc bellow and puts it together: system_chain system_name system_version system_properties
Implemented in CPolkaApi.
|
pure virtual |
Sign a transfer with provided private key, submit it to blockchain, and wait for completion. Once transaction is accepted, the callback will be called with parameter "ready". Once completed, the callback will be called with completion result string equal to "finalized".
| sender | - address of sender (who signs the transaction) |
| privateKey | - 64 byte private key of signer in hex, 2 symbols per byte (e.g. "0102ABCD...") |
| recipient | - address that will receive the transfer |
| amount | - amount (in femto DOTs) to transfer |
| callback | - functor or lambda expression that will receive operation updates |
Implemented in CPolkaApi.
|
pure virtual |
Subscribe to nonce updates for a given address. Only one subscription at a time per address is allowed. If a subscription already exists for the same address, old subscription will be discarded and replaced with the new one. Until unsubscribeNonce method is called with the same address, the API will be receiving updates and forwarding them to subscribed object/function. Only unsubscribeNonce will physically unsubscribe from WebSocket endpoint updates.
| address | - address to receive nonce updates for |
| callback | - functor or lambda expression that will receive nonce updates |
Implemented in CPolkaApi.
|
pure virtual |
Subscribe to most recent balance for a given address. Only one subscription at a time per address is allowed. If a subscription already exists for the same address, old subscription will be discarded and replaced with the new one. Until unsubscribeBalance method is called with the same address, the API will be receiving updates and forwarding them to subscribed object/function. Only unsubscribeBalance will physically unsubscribe from WebSocket endpoint updates.
| address | - address to receive balance updates for |
| callback | - functor or lambda expression that will receive balance updates |
Implemented in CPolkaApi.
|
pure virtual |
Subscribe to most recent block number. Only one subscription at a time is allowed. If a subscription already exists, old subscription will be discarded and replaced with the new one. Until unsubscribeBlockNumber method is called, the API will be receiving updates and forwarding them to subscribed object/function. Only unsubscribeBlockNumber will physically unsubscribe from WebSocket endpoint updates.
| callback | - functor or lambda expression that will receive updates |
Implemented in CPolkaApi.
|
pure virtual |
Subscribe to era and session. Only one subscription at a time is allowed. If a subscription already exists, old subscription will be discarded and replaced with the new one. Until subscribeEraAndSession method is called, the API will be receiving updates and forwarding them to subscribed object/function. Only unsubscribeBlockNumber will physically unsubscribe from WebSocket endpoint updates.
| callback | - functor or lambda expression that will receive updates |
Implemented in CPolkaApi.
|
pure virtual |
Unsubscribe from WebSocket endpoint and stop receiving updates for address nonce.
| address | - address to stop receiving nonce updates for |
Implemented in CPolkaApi.
|
pure virtual |
Unsubscribe from WebSocket endpoint and stop receiving updates for address balance.
| address | - address to stop receiving balance updates for |
Implemented in CPolkaApi.
|
pure virtual |
Unsubscribe from WebSocket endpoint and stop receiving updates with most recent block number.
Implemented in CPolkaApi.
|
pure virtual |
Unsubscribe from WebSocket endpoint and stop receiving updates with era and session.
Implemented in CPolkaApi.


{% load static %}
Reminder: participants whose accuracy (at correctly labelling images as AI-generated or not)
scores in the top 50% of results will obtain a bonus payment of £0.75.
Is the above image an image of a real human face,
or an AI-generated image of a face?


You will find all what you are looking for right here,Looking Originals?
Adidas Shoes Sales Up to 45% Off
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Your virtual office
Second line of small description
One click IT workplace in cloud in minutes.
Easy provisioning and active cloud app lifecycle
Control over all the applications
Vertice is a very powerful Cloud Orchestrator that redefines DevOps into a beautiful user interface, being Open-Source has allowed us to work with Megam's team to deliver an amazing Commercial Cloud platform for Service Providers.
MegamAfrica Open-Source cloud hosting has allowed us to work with Megam's team to deliver an amazing Commercial Cloud platform (virtual machines, containers, storage) for our African customers.


Westlife and Billie Eilish heading for Number 1s on the Official Irish Charts with Spectrum and Everything I Wanted
There could be two huge new chart-toppers this Friday.
by Jack WhiteThe midweek numbers are in, and this week could be a big one for both Westlife and Billie Eilish.
In today's Official Irish Chart Update, Westlife lead the albums Top 50 and are already in-line for 2019's fastest-selling album with Spectrum after a weekend of sales. Should Spectrum continue its momentum, the album will be Westlife's 11th Number 1.
Spectrum features the Number 2 single Hello My Love and Top 50 hits Better Man, Dynamite and My Blood. All four songs are co-written by Ed Sheeran.
Celine Dion is on track for a Top 5 debut with her first English language album in six years, Courage, currently at Number 4. 2013's Loved Me Back To Life peaked at Number 3.
There's also a potential tenth Top 10 album for Nathan Carter; his latest collection Irish Heartland is currently at Number 10.
On the singles rundown, Billie Eilish could claim her first Number 1 single with Everything I Wanted. The song currently has a narrow lead over last week's chart-topper Don't Start Now by Dua Lipa. Billie has so far peaked at Number 2 twice with hits Bury A Friend and Bad Guy.
Taylor Swift's Lover is set for a Top 20 return at Number 19 following the release of a new version featuring Shawn Mendes, and finally, Irish rappers Versatile are on course for a third Top 50 hit with Escape Wagon featuring Coolio at Number 20.
This week's final chart placings will be revealed at 3pm on Friday along with the full Top 50 Official Irish Singles and Albums Charts on OfficialCharts.com/Ireland. Listen to the chart every Friday on RTÉ FM with Bláthnaid Treacy at 8pm.
© IRMA


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The GenericXMLTree
structure provides a generic representation of
XML trees where elements and attribute names are represented as
Atom.atom
values.
Synopsis
structure GenericXMLTree : XML_TREE
where type Schema.element = Atom.atom
where type Scheme.attribute = Atom.atom * string


TheZZAZZGlitch's April Fools Event 2018 - Desktop client
The event save file connects to the Internet by utilizing the Gameboy link cable, and the BGB emulator happens to have support for emulating link cable transmissions over TCP/IP. Thanks to this, it's possible to use BGB to connect to the event servers via a special client application. Here are some instructions to help you set this up.
Important note
If you wish to play using a desktop client with a real emulator, do not use savestates while playing! Doing this may cause some items from your inventory to disappear, and render some of the game's quests unfinishable!
Download the client and the emulator
First, download the client application (8 MB ZIP). BGB won't be able to connect to a remote service by itself, since its TCP/IP link cable implementation was intended mostly for local use. To help BGB contact the event servers, a local proxy needs to be created. The emulator will send requests to a server launched on your machine, which will forward them to the Interwebz.
Uncompress the ZIP file to a separate directory on your computer's hard drive. To run the client, double click the StartClient.bat script.
Obviously, you will also need a copy of the BGB emulator. Get the latest version (as of today, version 1.5.6), as the client application was not tested for anything older than that.
Get the ROM and the save file
You should have a copy of the Pokéemon Yellow English ROM - if you don't have it, acquire one through a method of your choosing. Next, download the event save file. Make sure your ROM and the SAV file have the same file names, this is to make sure BGB will see the save file. So if the ROM name is yellow.gbc, rename your save file to yellow.sav. Make sure the emulator is not running when you're doing this.
Let's begin!
Launch the client application if you haven't already. Log in using your credentials from the event site.  Then, select Link » Connect from the menu. In the window that appears, enter the server address: <IP_ADDRESS>:8765.
Within the game, load the event save file. A connection test will be performed. If it is successful, then you're set. Have fun exploring Glitchland!
Troubleshooting
The client requires the Microsoft Visual C++ 2008 Redistributable Package. If you receive any errors about missing DLL files, make sure you install it first.
Make sure your firewall isn't blocking the client application from creating a server. If the emulator has trouble connecting to the local server, you might need to check your firewall rules.
If you're running on Windows Vista or XP, make sure to "unlock" the application. Go the dist folder located in the application directory, view the properties of client.exe and click Unlock if it is there.


Gecode::Search::Config Namespace Reference
[Search engines]
Detailed Description
Search configuration
Variables | |
| const unsigned int | c_d = 8 |
| Create a clone after every c_d commits. | |
| const unsigned int | a_d = 2 |
| Create a clone during recomputation if distance is greater than a_d. |
Variable Documentation
|
|
Create a clone after every c_d commits.
|
|
|
Create a clone during recomputation if distance is greater than a_d.
|


WITNESS LIST State Affairs Committee April 22, 1997-2:00P HB 51 Registering, but not testifying: For: Garcia, Rey (TX Assn. of Comm.Colleg), Austin Horne, Allen (TX Hospital Assn.), Austin HB 449 For: Falcioni, Diane (TX Ports Assc.), Galveston HB 566 On: Jennings, John (TX Workforce Comm.), Austin Registering, but not testifying: On: Geballe, Leslie (TX Workforce Comm.), Austin HB 581 Against: Cornett, Ray (Tax-Assessors-Coll.Assn), Angleton HCR 94 For: Shilling, Mark (TX Chemical Council), Autsin Registering, but not testifying: For: Browning, B.J. (TX Conf. of Pol.&Sherif), Dallas McNeil, Jr., Carvel (Hous.Police Patrol Unio), Houston Means, Jack (TX Conf. of Pol.&Sherif), Dallas Phelps, Bill (FINA), Dallas Sanders, Stephen (TX Conf. of Pol.&Sherif), Houston SB 535 For: Miller, John (TX Retirement Trusts), Kingwood Schwartz, Babe (TX Retirement Trusts), Austin On: Nail, William (ERS), Austin SB 722 For: Paniagua, Joe (Ft.Worth City Council), Ft. Worth On: Dyke, Jerry (TXDOT), Austin Mendez, Mark (Tarrant Co. Comm.Ct.), Ft. Worth SB 839 On: Esquivel, Eddie (Dept.of Info. Resources), Austin Poole, Clyde (Dept.of Info. Resources), Austin SB 1240 On: Aragon, Steve (TX Health & Human), Austin Registering, but not testifying: On: Alexander, Cindy (Comptroller's Office), Austin McKay, Ginny (TPR), Austin SB 1389 For: Lee, Donald (Conf. of Urban Counties), Austin Reid, Stan (TX Assc. of Counties), Austin Rentz, Rebecca (Harris Co. Comm. Ct.), Houston Sisk, Cathy (Harris County), Houston Registering, but not testifying: For: Allison, Jim (Co.Judges & Comm Assn), Austin Lucero, Homero (Bexar Co. Comm. Ct.), Austin Mendez, Mark (Tarrant Co. Comm. Ct.), Ft. Worth Pardue, Craig (Dallas County), Dallas Walker, Helen (Co.Judges & Comm Assn), Victoria SB 1396 For: Hillier, R. King (TX Assc.of Pub.&NonpHos), Houston Registering, but not testifying: For: Woodford, Suzy (Common Cause TX), Austin SB 1571 For: Meyer, Frederick (HL&P), Houston Wolff, Nelson (City Public Service), San Antonio Against: Grubbs, David (Cooperative Members), Nursery Williams, Mike (TX Elec.Cooperatives), Austin On: Maganess, Bill (PUC), Austin Totten, Jess (PUC), Austin Registering, but not testifying: Against: Richards, Howard (DESTEC Energy), Austin Rodriguez, Fernando (Cooperative Members), Austin Segrest, Philip (Brazoa Elec.Pow.Coop), Waco On: von Rosenberg, Arthur (City Public Service), San Antonio Callender, Wayne (City Public Service), San Antonio Martinez, Theresa (City Public Service), San Antonio Soliz, Norma (City Public Service), San Antonio Wilson, Roger (SA City Pub.Serv.Bd.), San Antonio SB 1661 On: Cuellar, Robert (TXDOT), Austin Registering, but not testifying: For: McCarley, James (Dallas Reg.Mobility Coa), Dallas Paniagua, Joe (Ft. Worth City Council), Ft. Worth Rentz, Rebecca (Harris Co.Judge Eckels), Houston SB 1792 For: Smith, David (Am.Soc. of Travel Agent), San Angelo On: Gunn, David (TX Dept.ofLics.&Regula), Austin SB 1914 On: Parker, Stephen (GSC), Austin Registering, but not testifying: On: Treadway, Tom (GSC), Austin


| DOSE: |
50 mg |
oral |
2C-D |
(powder / crystals) |
Yesterday was my first experience with 2C-D. I have had prior experience with phenethylamines, such as
2C-I (toxic reaction), mescaline (wonderful, enlightening),
Methylone, MDMA, and of course a host of tryptamines as well.
Here is the experience: Purpose: To try out 2C-D alone, to see if it would be appropriate, fun, or useful for a future excursion with my wife.
11:00am (T -1 hour): Eat a powerbar, take multivitamin, 800mg piracetam, and 350mg choline. My standard phenethylamine supplements.
12:00pm (Noon): I carefully weigh out and ingest 45-50mg of 2C-D. The powder clumps in flakes, and is bitter (but not overwhelmingly so). I have had one powerbar, but other than that, I have eaten nothing since last night. The powder was dissolved in a small amount of water, which I then drank and chased with another glass of water.
12:05pm: stomach upset, probably from drinking the bitter water on an empty stomach. Nothing terrible, but uncomfortable.
12:30pm: Woah. Time suddenly slows way down, and I feel like I am on a rocket ride. There is mild nausea, but mostly I am astounded by how 'altered' I am feeling. The visuals rival a decent dose of mescaline. Being my first time with 2C-D (and having such a toxic response to a (mistakenly) high dose of 2C-I), I am slightly worried, but nothing I can't shake off. This is still far less intense than the come-up of a high-dose mescaline trip.
12:35pm: Crazy amphetamine-like shakes and chills. Worse than I was expecting. I can absolutely see how the amphetamine come-up would limit the dose of this substance. I cannot get comfortable, no matter what position or how high the heater is turned up.
1:00pm: The last 30 minutes have been quite agonizing. My body is not happy, and the mindspace, although not negative, is not euphoric. It is hard to enjoy the visuals. However, my body is now settling down, and I am left in a state where I feel quite sober (mentally), while seeing visuals and feeling a little 'on-edge' in my body.
1:30pm: I am in a mildly-happy, mildly-euphoric 'fun' space. I notice details around me that I usually don't. Flowers and colors look exquisite. Unlike my current and past favorites (mescaline and methylone), there is no sexual push at all.  The biggest positive going for this material, however, is that it allowed my mind to explore dichotomies in everything I thought about. For instance, I had insight into how I usually approach new things (dive headfirst, have fun, but always expect some archtypal 'mother' figure to scold me, telling me that I should not be doing that), and how my wife approaches new things (pick a life direction, wait for others to encourage and support her, find support for her picking that direction in books and others' experiences, and then slowly move).
1:30pm-2:00pm: Continued insights, but the material is not 'pushy' at all. There is an absence of emotion as well. This leads to a rather frustrating state where I want to make progress, think, sort things out, and get some 'work done', but I don't have the emotional motivation or 'push' to do it. I guess I am used to the 'guiding hand' of mescaline. There are no hands with 2C-D, and any work you want to do, you have to motivate yourself. This was a bit disappointing for me.
2:30pm: I feel pretty out-of-it, yet sober, yet I still can see visuals and 'tune in' on (and appreciate) details. The insight/work stage of the trip has subsided for me. The last 2 hours have seemed like 5 or 6.
3:00pm: I start to work in the kitchen, cooking and cleaning up. I am largely down, but in good spirits and feeling slightly more creative and appreciative than before.
4:00pm: I feel almost completely normal, a bit sluggish, and I go about my daily routine, taking short breaks to lay down and pet the cats.
7:30pm: My wife and I head out for dinner, and I notice I am much more open with strangers, and open with people in general. The instinctual, subconscious fear that I feel when meeting a person's gaze or connecting with someone is absent. My wife comments that I seem different -- more 'open'.
Overview:
There was very little euphoria, but by no means was I in a bad headspace or having a bad trip. For me, this is a very neutral substance, no pushing, but with a very uncomfortable amphetamine-like come-up. Yet, you fellow psychonauts know... those 30 minutes seem like nothing now, but when you're counting seconds, it can seem like an eternity!
My conclusion is that it isn't worth the 30 minutes of body-hell to get to a sober (yet weird/interesting) place. The emotional opening felt like it was on a 'chatty' level, and not a 'deeply connective' level, which makes me think there is little in repeating the experience with my wife. However, if there is a party or some event where being open and chatty might help, and perhaps your body won't react as violently during the come-up as mine, then this could be a really fun drug to put you in a different (yet fairly sober) headspace. Still, I would not have wanted to answer any phone calls for a good hour-and-a-half there, during the experience.
My experienced timeline summary:
T+30 mins, alerts, some visuals.
T+30 mins-1 hour, rocket ride up, very uncomfortable amphetamine-like body response.
T+1-2 hours, intoxicated but seemingly 'sober' headspace. Body becomes comfortable. Some insight, some euphoria, visuals. Not pushy. I feel an absence of emotions. Absence of drive. No sexual push at all.
T+3-4 hours, back down, but not totally 'normal'. This would be the time it might be fun to go chat with a bunch of people at a party.
T+5 hours until sleep - an open/unafraid social mindspace.
The day after: I feel absolutely normal, which is amazing for really being so far out there about 24 hours ago. My cravings for food are still reduced, so I know the drug is likely still in my system. I feel no desire to repeat testing with this substance; although it was interesting, it did not provide anything unique enough (besides perhaps the short duration) to merit its choice over other readily-available substances.
Overall, I give 2C-D 9/10 for uniqueness, 4/10 for euphoria/fun, 6/10 for insight, 6/10 for afterglow, and 9/10 for absence of negative after-effects. :) There is something more here than just 'tofu', but this is no spicey, tasty psychedelic meal by any stretch of the imagination.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid.


The Elements panel lets you see everything in one DOM tree, and allows inspection and on-the-fly editing of DOM elements. You will often visit the Elements tabs when you need to identify the HTML snippet for some aspect of the page. For example, you may be curious if an image has an HTML id attribute, and what that attribute's value is.
The Elements panel is sometimes a better way to "view source" for a page. Inside the Elements panel, the page's DOM will be nicely formatted, easily showing you HTML elements, their ancestry and their descendants. Too often, pages you visit will have minified or simply ugly HTML which makes it hard to see how the page is structured. The Elements panel is your solution for viewing the real underlying structure of the page.
Follow the steps below to explore the Elements panel:
- Open the Google Closure Hovercard demo page.
- Open the Developer Tools window as described in the How to Access the Developer Tools section.
- If it is not already selected, select Elements. This shows the page's HTML elements in the main pane, and styles, metrics, properties, and event listeners in the right-hand sidebar. If Developer Tools opened via the Inspect Element action, it is automatically drilled down to and highlighted the element under mouse. This is very useful when you are curious which HTML generated a particular page element.
DOM Elements Tree
Elements tree, including its inline scripts and styles are syntax highlighted.
For example, select the


This was a fun project and I learned a lot of about AWS, long running tasks, and automated deployment, but the backend system to run the EC2s has fallen apart, and I no longer have time to work on the project. Also, it was starting to cost money to host on both Heroku and AWS. So goodnight toy project, it was fun learning with you.


Yonsei University, Department of Sociology |<EMAIL_ADDRESS>I'm a graduate student in Yonsei University's Department of Sociology. I have interest in computational and experimental methods in social sciences. Now I'm doing works related to public opinion/communication, party politics, and social movements in South Korea and United States.
M.A. in Sociology • Mar, 2016 —
B.S. in Sociology • Mar, 2008 — Mar, 2016
Mar, 2006 — Feb, 2008
Political Psychology, Political Communication, Public Opinion, Political Sociology;
Computational and Experimental Methods in Social Sciences, Machine Learning, Text Mining and Natural Language Processing, Network Science;
Political Polarization, Personality and Emotion in Politics, Morality, Cross-cutting Discussion, The Critical Mass in the Collective Action.
Changdong Oh
Best Graduate Student Presentation Award, Annual Conference of the Korea Academy of Complexity Studies.
Taejoon Lee, Changdong Oh, Seungbae Lee, Huekyung Won
112th Annual Meeting of the American Sociological Association
Aug 12-15, 2017 (Montreal, Canada; Scheduled)
3rd International Conference on Computational Social Science(IC2S2)
Jul 11-13, 2017 (Cologne, Germany; Scheduled)
18th Annual Conference of the Hong Kong Sociological Association
Dec 03, 2016 (Hong Kong)
Annual Conference of the Korea Academy of Complexity Studies
Nov 26, 2016 (Seoul, Korea)
Korean National Conference for Sociology Graduate Students
Aug 29, 2016 (Seoul, Korea)
Changdong Oh
Changdong Oh
Changdong Oh
Research Assistant • Feb, 2016 -
National Research Foundation of Korea
Research Assistant • Sep, 2016 - Feb, 2017
Korea Ministry of Trade, Industry and Energy(with Taejun Lee of Korea Development Institute)
Teaching Assistant (to Bonsang Koo, Ph.D.)
Social Science Data Innovation Center, Yonsei University • Aug, 2017
Teaching Assistant (to Prof. Bong-hwan Hahn)
University College, Yonsei University • Spring Semester
Graded assignments, Designed and ran online discussion sessions.
Lecturer
Korea Development Institute • Dec 29, 2016
Python, R, Java
numpy & pandas, scikit-learn(Python)
nltk, gensim(Python) / tm, stm(R)
Standard OLS, Logit/Probit/Tobit, Lasso and Ridge, Panel/Survival Analysis on STATA and R.
Tensorflow, Pytorch
igraph(R), NetworkX(Python), Gephi, D3.js.


We use insects
to investigate dynamics of genome size evolution and sex chromosome evolution
Genomes vary widely across the tree of life. This variation is not just in coding sequences (genes), but in how much DNA there is (genome size), how it's organized (chromosomes) and
accessible (euchromatin vs. heterochromatin). I am largely interested in:
- Estimating genome size and its variation across the tree of life
- Using genome size differences between males and females to investigate sex chromosome evolution
- Using Drosophila species underreplication amounts to investigate the evolution of heterochromatin
- Using the above information to identify unique species for whole genome sequencing and bioinformatic analyses
I'm open to new questions and ideas! If you are interested in something else and want to work with me, reach out!